So today I thought I would try being Ms. Oatmeal in order to experience “as seen on television” products from the female perspective.

So I awake with the “7 Day Neverlate Alarm Clock” this alarm clock is the first and only alarm clock of its kind. With today's active lifestyles the neverlate solves a problem that students, professionals, working parents, athletes and others all have in common. The demands of today's active lifestyles often require a varying wake schedule. It offers an unparalleled ease of use with the patent-pending rotary dial user interface that makes setting the Neverlate a snap. After laying there for a moment to gather my bearings I adjust my “Mattress Genie” it is so easy that the 1-2-3 setup took less than 2 minutes. It has helped ease my symptoms of acid reflux, heartburn, hiatal hernia, indigestion, nasal congestion, sinus, allergies, flu, pregnancy discomfort and snoring. It is also great for reading and studying, watching TV, eating in bed and for those moms who are nursing. It will hold up to 1000 pounds for the heavy clientele and comes with a convenient hand held control. As I get out of bed I slip on my “Diabetic Slippers” the soft and cushiony comfort slippers that help relieve sore, tender, or swollen feet. They have an extra-wide design that won't bind or constrict so they're perfect for anyone with poor circulation or foot problems. They offer a soft quilted cotton outside with an absorbent terry lining and there is an adjustable secure fabric closure and they have the ever important non-slip soles. When I start moving a series of “Lamp Sensors” instantly turned on lamps throughout my home. They have allowed me to protect my home and family with the easy to use electric eye sensor that simply screws into any light socket. They keep me from fumbling around in the dark.


As I get to the kitchen I frantically look for my “Bacon Wave Microwave Bacon Cooker” you know the one, it will provide bacon that will be cooked to perfection in my microwave. It gives us frying pan taste without the frying pan, or the grease, making the bacon healthier. There is less fat, less grease, less cholesterol and fewer calories. One of the beauties of this thing is that it can cook up to 14 pieces at once, and they are stackable to allow 2 for 28 pieces, they guaranteed that I would love the results, and you know what I DO! Once I have the bacon going I grab the “One Touch Jar Opener” to get the jelly open. It opens stubborn jars with the touch of a button. No more twisting, no more pulling, no more pain, I just attach it to any jar and press the button. It's features effortless, one touch action , it is powerful enough for new, factory sealed jars and no bottle or jar is too tall and it never jams. I throw a couple of eggs in the “GT Xpress 101” and cook a delicious meal fast and without the added fat! With the GT Xpress 101 all I had to do was place food in the preheated cooking wells and close the lid. The dual cooking wells and controlled temperature cook from both top and bottom at once so there’s no turning or burning. GT Xpress’s thermostat controls the temperature so I get perfect results every time - even if I leave it in too long! The hinged lid prevents spillovers and clean up’s a cinch too, just wipe with a damp ShamWow. It has allowed me to enjoy healthy, flavor-packed, satisfying food in no time!

After breakfast I have to get started on the day, I switch out the Diabetic Slippers for the “Slipper Genie Microfiber Cleaning Slippers”. I do this to prove there is an ingenious new way to keep my floors clean without any extra work on my part. I just slip on Slipper Genie and they do the cleaning on hardwood, linoleum and tile flooring as I walk. Much easier to maneuver than a floor duster or broom, my feet do all the work while I just stroll around the house. If I had kids, I would definitely get them a pair! I know they would love walking around in these fun slippers and I would love how clean my floor would be. There are some dirtier areas of the floor so I break out the “Sop N Mop” which is an ultra absorbent miracle shammy cloth that is a must for camping, swimming, auto washing any sporting event and more, it raises any liquid from any surface. It miraculously holds up to 21 times its own weight in any liquid. It has allowed me to save hundreds of dollars a year that I was spending on paper towels. I got it with a total of 12 CLOTHS not 10, not 8 like the competition offers, and it is made in Germany, you know the Germans make good stuff. Once done with the Sop N Mop I start up with the “Swivel Sweeper Touchless” It is the new and improved Cordless Swivel Sweeper Touchless and it is the lightweight, easy-to-maneuver cordless sweeper that picks up messes faster and easier than ordinary cordless sweepers and brooms. Now with 'Touchless' dirt tray and the quite amazing rotating edge cleaning brushes that gets the mess along walls and in corners.

After cleaning house I am off to get ready to go out. Before jumping in the shower I spray on a couple of squirts of “Doctor Frank’s Joint and Muscle Pain Relief Spray” under my tongue and this pain reliever works for even severe joint and muscle pain and stiffness. It helps with all types of Arthritis, most over use syndrome issues such as Carpal Tunnel as well as Fibromylagia. It works on all types of injuries, stiffness from sports as well as recovering from surgery. It is a gentle, non-prescription homeopathic remedy to relieve chronic joint and muscle pain and stiffness. After my shower I put my hair in a “Turbie Twist Hair Towel”, this lightweight towel replacement is so much better than a towel. I then remembered I was always frustrated spending hour after hour trimming damaged hair ends in order to keep my hair long and beautiful. I had almost forgotten about purchasing the new & improved patented “Split-Ender Maxi Kit”. The secret of the Split-Ender Maxi Kit is the exclusive Snip the tip surgy trim system, which trims the tips of fried, damaged, broken, and brittle hair. This patented system only snips the ends and broken hair fragments along the hair shaft on any length of hair. After taking care of the split ends I set up my “Hands Free Adjustable Hair Dryer Stand” so I could save time styling, straightening, drying, and volumizing my hair. The Hair Dryer Stand frees both hands so I was done styling in record time. I achieve that salon look every time and eliminate the fatigue of holding that heavy hair dryer!

Once my hair was complete I sat down in my “Anywhere Chair” that was designed for fast, easy seating for kids and adults. The Anywhere Chair is an Oval Multi Angle Cushion that is a super-comfortable four-position recliner that provides fast and easy seating wherever, whenever. Once comfortably seated I started using my “Deluxe PedEgg”, it is a revolutionary foot file that you've probably seen nationally advertised on TV. The key secret to the PedEgg is its precision micro-files that gently remove calluses and dead skin to give my feet the incredible baby soft look and feel that everybody loves. Once my feet were in good shape I moved to my legs and go to town with my “Smooth Away” to remove unwanted hair. I also use the 19 rolling balls of the “Roll a Lotion” to apply lotion evenly to all the hard to reach areas, thanks to the extra long handle. I then continue to move up and install the “Original Looks” silicone breast enhancers, I have found they are Better than permanent breast enhancement procedures. These little wonders are one size fits all, hypo-allergenic and they increase my breasts up to 1 1/2 to 2 full bra cup sizes. I put my necklace on with the “Clever Clasp” because I was fed up fumbling with those tiny little clasps on my jewelry. I have long nails, long hair and limited dexterity and this magnetic jewelry clasp allows me to attach to any necklace or bracelet.

I quickly inserted my “EZ Comb Hair Clips” on the back of my head, the ones that are soft & comfortable and hold firmly in place and offers a comfortable secure Fit. I have found that it works on any hair type and stretches to easily create popular hair styles instantly. On the top of my head I use the “Bumpits” as I saw them on TV and since they are made of easy-care plastic they are great for dramatic up-dos and their comfortable design stays put. They have a rigid design that creates volume that won't fall, they are lightweight & comfortable and I often forget it's there. I love to Bump up the volume in my hair using Big Happie Hair Bumpits. Bumpits volumizing plastic hair inserts take my hair from flat to fabulous in seconds without the use of heavy creams or gels. I also use my “LumaTweez” they are a pair of tweezers with a built-in light and flip-up magnifying glass. The light runs on three button-cell batteries, sold separately of course. The tweezers are high-quality stainless steel with tips that are angled, not flat, so they grip hairs firmly. Of course they come with a 60-day money-back guarantee in case I did not like them.

But wait folks there is more, I am sorry though you will have to wait until tomorrow to hear about the rest of Ms. Oatmeal’s day in the life of “As seen on television” products.