Thursday, March 31, 2011

19 days, wow that seems like a long time.

Bride and I have been together a long time, we met in 88 and got married in 1990 and I was in the United States Navy until 1993. We spent 189 days apart once and we were routinely apart for months at a time. I look back and wonder how we did it. I cannot imagine being apart for 189 days now. Those were the days before email and the proliferation of portable electronic devices that allow people to stay connected 24x7x365. When we were out to sea the best we had was “mars” (Military Auxiliary Radio System) radio calls where you had to say over when you were done speaking. That seems so archaic to me now looking back – hahaha

I remember my last Med Cruise in 92-93, it sucked. Bride was working for Barnett Banks and working 60-70 hours a week and I was gone. It was much harder on her than it was on me. I had folks cleaning my house, other folks cooking my food and so on and so on. Bride was at home having to handle all her normal tasks but also taking care of all the other things that I used to do. I remember toward the end of that cruise we were both road weary from the separation and there was a “blowup”. We had pulled into Sicily on our way home. It was very close to the last port we hit. I for the life of me can not remember what port it was, I have even been staring at a map of Sicily. So work that day was tough, it had been a tough day and all I wanted to do was go out on the town and call Bride and come back to the ship and go to sleep.

So I ride the bus out to the drop off point and it just happens to be in front of a hotel. Perfect I thought, there will phones in a nice lobby. In I go and find the phones, like always they are out of the way and on the way towards the bathrooms. So I call up Bride and she had had a bad day as well with work. It was 5 am her time, and she was already at work and running on one coffee. So we are talking about how close we are getting and how great it is going to be to be home again. I did not even notice at the time a group of Women walked by on their way to the bathroom, they were young so they were talking and laughing. It was towards the end of our conversation and we said our goodbyes.

Well, unbeknownst to me she had heard the “40 laughing Italian Sluts” giggling and laughing on the way to the restrooms and had convinced herself that I was out “living it up” in Sicily with the “laughing Italian Sluts” and before reason could invade her anger she whipped out a letter and put it in the mail. She was selling the house, leaving Florida and going back to Texas and I could have everything in the house. Before that letter could traverse the Atlantic Ocean and find the Aegis Cruiser, USS Gettysburg with the hull number of CG64, we pulled into another port. When we talked next she was still upset about my slutty girlfriends and their incessant laughing.

Once we worked though something that I did not even know existed we realized just how hard 6 month cruises were. For those going now it has to still be hard but the ability to communicate on a more regular basis has to make it somewhat easier to avoid the laughing Italian Sluts situations. I never did have the heart, or courage, to remind her I was on the island of Sicily and while close to Italy they would have been, at least technically, 40 laughing Sicilian Sluts. I tell that story to demonstrate that the sacrifices our military asks its members and their family’s to make is mighty high. Also it proves that no matter how good a relationship is and no matter if you believe absence makes the heart grow fonder that separation from your loved ones is HARD!!

Forward ahead to now. So anyway, I am getting ready for the pilgrimage to the morally bankrupt hell hole in the desert of Nevada, or more commonly known as Vegas for work. I have to say right up front – I HATE THAT PLACE. I do not drink, I do not gamble and I am not chasing any laughing Italian, or Sicilian women so the town hold little for me. Sure I have seen Freemont street, I have seen some pretty cool shows and the first trip was interesting. Now it is nothing but drudgery for me, the conference I go to is a technical affair with a bunch of engineers. Strangely enough, this is the part of the trip I enjoy, hangin’ with my kind of folks. This trip will be 5 days, the longest one was 11 and that REALLY SUCKED!

Well with me going there Bride decided she wanted to go to Texas to hang out with her family. Cool idea I thought, we got someone to house sit the animals and we are ready. Well after the tickets were purchased and we start out planning – supplies would be needed, trips to the airport scheduled and all the other things that happen before a trip. Most times the couple is at least going on the trip together. Well after all that we start talking about it more and it turns out that we will be separated for 19 days straight. Does not seem like much but that is the longest we have been separated since I got out of the Navy.

So this Friday Bride will be riding a jet plane out to Dallas, Texas to start her mini vacation without me. The following Tuesday I will be making my way to the southwestern corner of Nevada. I was in the northwestern part of the state a few months ago on work as well but that was only for 3 days. She will be amongst family for the entire time, I on the other hand will be in Vegas and at home alone. She has already told me that what happens in Vegas does not stay in Vegas as well as laying out some other ground rules in the game of marriage. I do have a full understanding of what the word “is” means and there was no room for any ambiguity in the definition.

I am missing her already and one thing we used to do we are not anymore. When we knew I was getting ready to leave on the ship, the days leading up to my departure were always weird. We would, almost purposely I think, start nick picking at each other. We never really understood it but I think we figured it out towards the end of my enlistment. We would nick pick in an attempt to separate ourselves before I left, maybe in an attempt to make the leaving easier. Seems stupid but leaving for 189 days is a stupid thing so we had that going for us. Seems weird that we are going to be apart for 19 days. I do not really like the thought of it. I am glad she is going to be getting some time with the family but I am somewhat possessive and I will miss her terribly.

Well just so you know there are folks staying at my house and they do have access to all the weapons I have stored there, so I would not consider taking this opportunity to rob my house. It could wind up like the scene from Scarface, “say hello to my little friend”

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

A bit about eastern religions, as understood by a hillbilly

In the Indian Religions, Hindu specifically, there are four ages, the Satya Yuga, Treta Yuga, Dvapara Yuga, and the Kali Yuga. It is believed we are now in the Kali Yuga, the "age of vice". And just so ya know, it is the last of the four stages that the world goes through in the cycle of yugas. First there is the Satya Yuga or the “age of truth”. This is also referred to as the golden age or perfect. During the Satya Yuga the Dharma Bull was standing on all four legs, the Dharma bull symbolizes morality. During the golden age, morality was standing strong and sturdy and not easy to topple.

From there we move into the Treta Yuga or the second out of four yugas, or ages of mankind. Most famous events in this yuga were Lord Vishnu's fifth, sixth and seventh incarnations as Vamana, Parashurama and Ramachandra respectively. The Dharma bull, which symbolizes morality, stood on three legs during this period, seems a three legged bull is just a bit less stable. From there we move to the Dvapara Yuga or the third out of four yugas, or ages, described in the scriptures of Hinduism. According to the Puranas this yuga ended at the moment when Krishna returned to his eternal abode of Vaikuntha. That poor old Dharma Bull is now standing on just two legs, from tripod to bipod as times get tough. I hope he at least has one in the front and one in the back.

Then we get to the last stage or the Kali Yuga or the age of vice. This is the last of the four stages that the world goes through as part of the cycle of yugas described in the Indian scriptures. Most interpreters of Hindu scriptures believe that earth is currently in Kali Yuga. Hindus and Sikhs believe that human civilization degenerates spiritually during the Kali Yuga, which is referred to as the Dark Age because in it people are as far removed as possible from God. Kali Yuga is associated with the apocalyptic demon Kali, not to be confused with the goddess Kālī (read as Kaalee) (these are unrelated words in the Sanskrit language). The "Kali" of Kali Yuga means "strife, discord, quarrel, or contention." Now the Dharma Bull is a one legged creature, can’t walk, can’t get around and is pretty much condemned.

Now for me I never gave much thought to the idea of an “End Times”. I suppose because I am not a biblical religionist, when I heard folks talking about the “End Times” my analytical mind would dismiss any such ideas as religious fanaticism. Seems weird to me though that almost all cultures and religious orders talk about or have some reference to an “End Times” period of evolution. Maybe that was where my problems came from, I understand Darwin, and we have tangible proof of evolution, at least in my opinion. But how then could so many folks in so many cultures come up with a similar thing, I mean we just had a movie come out talking about the end of the Mayan calendar and why do they all kind of point to the same point in time, now of all times? That is to coincidental to me to summarily dismiss as nonsense or happenstance.

So I am not sure that these are the End of Days or not, but I have feel compelled to at least look into it. The Shaiva Oracles of the Hindu Purana tell us that the End Times (aka the Kali Yuga period) are not a short period of intense turmoil like many anticipate. Instead, the End Times is a fairly long period of time that began about 5,000 years ago and encompasses the Roman Empire, the Inquisition, the Civil War, the crash of ‘29, World Wars I + II, the Holocaust, etc., etc.. According to author Alain Daniélou, we entered the twilight stages of the Kali Yuga in 1939, just prior to the start of WWII.

The Purana speaks of a continuous cycle of ages, each lasting approx. 58,000 years. Each of one of these cycles consists of four ages (this is similar to the Hopi and other Native American teachings of four worlds of evolution). The Purana teaches that each 50+k year cycle starts with a Golden Age (Satya Yuga) and ends with a Dark Age (Kali Yuga), and at the very end of the Kali Yuga, a new cycle and a new mankind begins yet again. The End Times predictions of the Old Testament and New Testament are widely known (these religions themselves are seen as products of the Kali Yuga by some). Lesser known are the many similar predictions of other religions and similar prophecies of the other indigenous tribes from all over the world.

Over a thousand years ago, Padmasambhava, the great teacher who brought Buddhism from India to Tibet, predicted that this particular dark age would be distinguished by our increasing cleverness. Our discursive minds would run rampant. We would create myriad ways to keep ourselves entertained, becoming experts in how to spend free time……. Does any of this sound familiar yet? Padmasambhava also predicted that as we as a people would become more shrewd and clever and in turn compassion would seem increasingly futile to us. We would lose our knowledge of how to bring meaning to our lives and at the same time the number of weapons, diseases, and starving folks would grow out of control. Our negative emotions would increase as our motivation to lead a meaningful life, a virtuous life, waned. I don’t know but for me, a prediction like that is hard to ignore in present times.

For the Hopi Indians of the American Southwest it seemed simple enough, they believed that Mother Nature would tell them which way is right way and which way is wrong. When earthquakes, floods, hailstorms, drought, and famine become the life of every day, the time will have then come for the return to the true path. Think about how pissed off Mother Nature has been over the last few years, we have had earthquakes, floods, hailstorms, drought, and famine in a MAJOR way. They believed that during this time we would see that things will speed up, that people on the earth will move faster and faster. Isn’t that what the internet and all the cool handheld gadgets have done for (to) us, speed us up? Grandchildren will not have time for grandparents, parents will not have time for children and it will seem that time is just speeding by faster and faster. Eerie I tell ya.

Their elders advised them, as things speed up, you yourself should slow down. The faster things go, the slower you need to go. Because there’s going to come a time when the earth is going to be shaken a third time. The Great Spirit has shaken the earth two times: the First and Second World Wars to remind us that we are a human family, to remind us that we should have greeted each other as brothers and sisters. We had a chance after each shaking to come together in a circle that would have brought peace on earth, but we missed those opportunities. They also believed that when we see people living in the sky on a permanent basis, we will know the Great Spirit is about to grab the earth. Seems we have folks living in the international space station (I think that could be considered living in the sky). Only this time it will not be with one hand, but with both hands. When this house is in the sky, the Great Spirit is going to shake the Earth a third time, and whoever dropped that gourd of ashes, upon them it is going to drop.”

In the Onondaga Indian tribes it is prophesied that the end of the world will be near when the trees start dying from the tops down. That’s what the white pine weevil is doing to coniferous trees right now. That is what other wood boring bugs are doing to hardwoods the world over. Their instructions say the time will come when there will be no corn, when nothing will grow in the garden, when water will be filthy and unfit to drink. And then a great monster will rise up from the water and destroy mankind. Well with the forcible use of ethanol in our gasoline the corn supply for food is drying up and becoming more and more expensive. I for one would not drink any water straight from the St. Johns river.

In the more publicly recognizable Mayan Civilization (mostly due to the movie) they do not fear the end of days. For them it does not mean there is an approaching cataclysm, in fact, it’s the opposite. It will be the coming of a new Golden Age, (there is that golden age thing again in a different society) in which we will possess the powers of the ancient ones. You will notice that more and more people are becoming interested in crystals, enlightenment, and the etheric and astral planes. At the same time, much chaos is happening now to balance the world’s karma so we can all ascend together. This is the law, and by following it, we will ascend and be freed from karma. This is why many of you may be experiencing times of turmoil. It is there for a reason, it will never happen again, or so they say. I would also suspect that was said at the end of the last Kali Yuga.

Not sure what it all means but it has been fun exploring it and I will continue to do so.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Deep thoughts, by Jack Handy Smitty, OK mostly shallow thoughts by just plain ole Smitty

This morning I have taken a few dips in the pool, watched our critters eat, play and go back to sleep and watched Bride sleep for a while (I love that). I wonder why every day is not like this one, today there are no worries that I am worrying about. I lead a pretty idyllic life, is it without problems, of course not but whose is. I still have more days like today than not so why does life seem so crazy lately. I suppose it is not even work, that is a symptom of larger more looming issues and they are not even ones I can do anything about.


I am not sure, maybe it is just me, but I wonder, what is going on in the world and where will we be in a few years. Not just in a superficial news sound bite kind of way but in a more challenging to think about kind of way. I mean if we look at the financial crisis going on it is still out of control, at least from my perspective. We have spent money to get folks back to work but the unemployment numbers are still unacceptably high. The scariest part is the government is spending money it does not have in an attempt to get things moving. Seems our short term memory is not so good, isn’t that what we the people (living the American Dream) did to get ourselves into this problem in the first place. Sure banking institutes were complicit but it was us demanding no money down, no interest for 5000 years on our house notes, on our credit cards, on everything. The old axiom, if it sounds too good to be true is still holding true.

The Scary part about this is that it is the government doing it this time. Let me back up just a bit though. The American Dollar is the world’s currency, things are priced using our money. Yes it is because we are the big dog on the block but that also comes with the some issues. Take for example Germany, when they want to buy oil they have to do it in Dollars, so they have to convert their money to dollars and if they have enough they can buy the oil, if not well then “no oil for you”. The United States on the other hand can just literally print more money, sounds good but that will come to roost at some point. If we continue to borrow like drunken sailors and spend like even drunker sailors our creditors (China) may call some markers due and at some point the yuan will become the world’s currency and then the United States will becomes like Germany, forced to live within its means. That will be such a shock to our way of life that I wonder if we can make it as a nation. It will counter to EVERYTHING that it means to be American.

Another issue I have is our false pretense of giving a shit about Egypt and Libya, and to some degree Iraq and Afghanistan. Those interventions have ZERO to do with helping the oppressed, deposing a despot, no they have EVERYTHING to do with keeping the flow of oil coming to us. If we (as a country) really gave a shit about the oppressed and downtrodden then why did 800,000 Rwandans die in just 100 days in 1994 with little or no intervention from the US? Why have hundreds of thousands died in Darfur with little to no intervention from the US. Do most people even know where Darfur is? Could you point to Rwanda on a map? Could you imagine 800,000 folks being killed in Hawaii or Massachusetts , they are about the same size as Rwanda. Or imagine a few hundred thousand killed in a state somewhere between the size of California and Texas.

We did little because there was no payoff to do anything, at least that is my opinion. We are a scratch my back and I will scratch your back kind of country and for those who have never left our shores you will not have any idea and probably raise hell with me for saying it but that is a fact. That fact is well hidden by our government but it is an inescapable truth. Our interests are keeping our country going and that interest is getting harder each day to maintain by our government.

So the world just seems crazy and I do not know what the answers are, it may be that the problems have been ignored for so long that they can not be fixed by our elected officials. Another one that cracks me up is our Governor here in Florida, he ran telling us all that he was going to cut spending and balance the budget, it was the hallmark of his campaign. He even talked about selling the plane they fly around in. Well once in office he sets about doing just that (balancing the budget) and then even the people who voted for him are saying WHOAAA, you can’t cut that! It reminds me of the lines from “A Few Good Men” , it goes like this “I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom I provide and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said "thank you," and went on your way” We hired him because that is what he told us he would do, how can we then be pissed when he does exactly that. No I do not agree with his approach but he is doing what he said he would do and ya know what, that might be a first for a politician. Seems funny to me that folks want cuts in government, as long as it does not impact them personally and if it does, then it is morally egregious – get over it is what I say to that.

So the world is crazy, so what is Mr. oatmeal to do…………….. study the differences between the ancient Jain Religion and compare that to Buddhism and Hinduism, and why not? The Jain’s were like the engineers of their day so I can definitely relate. Their religion is strongly based in order, lists and processes. To them Karma is thought of as pollution that stains the soul, the bigger the stain the less likely your transmigration (rebirth) will be to a higher level being. In Jainism karmic theory is kind of superglue, meaning that your individual actions are your own responsibility. No longer can we repent, no one but ourselves to blame for our actions, or at least so say the Jain’s. They say that it is possible to change our Karmic aura, mainly through austerities and purity of conduct. Purity of conduct, that is big.

I really don’t know what my point is here, I just wonder why the world is like it is and then wonder, why do I care if I strive to lead a good life and be a good person. That is the bottom line on all the religious orders really isn’t it? Do the right things and in some religions it is VERY important that the reason you are doing the right things is also pure in nature. The intent has to be carefully examined and sometimes the intent is clear, others times it is muddied by the complexities of the world we live in but I know this, right and wrong will always be a battle for us, yin and yang – good and evil - tragedy and comedy – heaven and hell and that, to me, that battle is what is important in my life. Some might say there are scales of evil and good, levels of tragedy, well for me I try to keep things black and white. We talk a lot about how the world is really gray and black and white can’t be defined, that is nothing but an excuse for inaction or apathy because we don’t want the truth, can’t handle the truth. Because deep down in places we don't talk about at parties we don’t want to make hard decisions, we wants things to be like they should be for us as Americans, easy.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Barry Royce Fitzpatrick

I was sitting in my office this morning going over some issues with the Boss and the phone started ringing. I ignored the first 5 or six calls as I did not immediately recognize any of the numbers. Then came one on my cell from another PBS Chief Engineer, I answered and was, and still am, in shock by the news he delivered. The Chief Engineer from the Tallahassee PBS station was killed in a motorcycle accident over the weekend. Now I will not pretend we were best of friends but we just met a few weeks ago in Tampa to discuss the technical and economic feasibility of combining the operations of all the Florida PBS stations.

We sat next to each other for the whole meeting, talking shop and then on the breaks talking turkey. Him and I had more of a phone call, email relationship due to the nature of our work. The nature of the conversation in Tampa was complex and at points the discussion was lively, as they are when you have a room full of very damn good engineers. Before the Tampa trip and since we have been working through the logistics of how a combined operation might work and there are lots of opinions and lots of ideas.

All of that went flying out the window at 9:59 am this morning. Work has been rough for me lately, PBS and NPR funding has been under attack. Attempting to predict the future of the local station is very difficult and it gets harder and harder as folks consume their media in different ways. The costs of very slim budgets over the last few years is coming home to roost. When certain systems are ignored because there is no funding to properly maintain them it becomes very stressful because now we are in a run to failure mode. That is an abhorrent place to be for a conscientious engineer. I hate the stress it causes because when systems do fail it is a 100% reactionary response instead of a proactive response.

I digress, the point is work is very stressful for me and a lot of broadcast engineers lately and that call this morning REALLY just slammed the dot on the exclamation point at the end of the statement – the job supports the life, NOT the other way around. I have been kind of in a funk all day thinking about Barry and his family. He leaves behind a wife and 2 kids in their 20’s, he was 53.

Here is what was on FloridaToday.com

One person is dead following a motorcycle-versus-car crash Sunday afternoon on North Meridian Road near Orchard Pond Road.


Barry Royce Fitzpatrick, 53, of Tallahassee, was driving a 2001 Harley-Davidson Road King behind a 2004 Volvo S80 driven by a juvenile, according to a Florida Highway Patrol news release. Both vehicles were heading south on North Meridian.


The Volvo's driver tried to make a U-turn and pulled off into the grass, FHP Trooper James Anderson said. As the car's driver tried to turn around, Fitzpatrick's motorcycle hit the car on its driver's side, Anderson said. Fitzpatrick was taken to Tallahassee Memorial Hospital and died from his injuries. According to the news release, Fitzpatrick was wearing a helmet at the time of the crash.


The car's driver — Anderson said his name was not released because he is a juvenile — was not injured.


FHP troopers were dispatched at 12:38 p.m. and arrived at the scene at 1:02 p.m.


The road was closed for a couple of hours as FHP investigated the crash, but was reopened by about 4 p.m. According to the news release, charges are pending.


My heart is hurting for the family he left behind. It is a stark reminder of our own mortality, we ought to be spending more of our time loving the ones we love and telling them how we feel. We should spend more time doing good things for those who are less fortunate. We should help those in need and be nice to folks. Those are the important things in life, not whether the Florida PBS stations can figure out how to, or not to, combine operations.

Lately I have gotten a bit too wrapped up in work, I have not been to the beach to watch the sunrise as often as I need to keep everything in the correct perspective. I have not done any volunteer work for to many months. I have not been enjoying the parks project as much as I want to be. I have been short with Bride on three occasions that have been over stupid shit. I guess I have been feeling a little overwhelmed, working at working, working side jobs to help cover the tax burden this year. I have a million things around the house that need doing and I got no money to do them. I am not complaining I am only saying that it seems my life has been out of control, at least to me.

While Barry’s death is tragic it has helped me get things back into the proper perspective, what better tribute to my friend could there be than to use his death for something positive. What does it all mean, I have no idea, I am raising up some prayer for Barry’s family and hope they can find strength in these coming days, months and years.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

For 9 years I was an American Idol fan

So for the first 9 seasons Bride and watched American Idol without fail. We were there when little Kelly Clarkson won year one. She has turned into a truly incredible singer that is very talented, but if we were to put her in the group from season 5 or beyond she would not have made it. She would have been outclassed by all of the top 12 and she would not have made it through. She was GREEN in that season, as they all were. There was NO comparison to the talent and stage presence of the performers found in later seasons. American Idol has come a long way, there is no doubt. We have traveled the road with many of them, even season four’s Carrie Underwood – the biggest of the post idol superstars.

I was always engaged with Sister about the show as well, calling each other during every break of almost every show. The talent just got better every year, the top 12 were just fantastic. My Sister and would laugh and cry and vote together, only when one of the contestants gave us goosebumps I like the music and I like the show, we started recording it because there were so many commercials. Over 20 minutes per hour were commercials and on a 2 hour show that is 40 minutes of wasted time looking at ads.

Maybe one of the appeals was the fact that there were really 3 different shows. The early ones, that were taped ahead of time, were mostly just about making fun of the people who could not sing. It was sad to watch sometimes, folks who thought they could sing failing miserably. If I had a friend who said they were going to audition and they could not sing, I would not lie to them and tell them they could. This is obviously what happens a lot, hell even parents are lying to their own kids. Once that embarrassment was over they moved onto the next phase, the start of a talent contest. Mostly it was about pairing up unlikely groups in Hollywood to create and record drama. I mean who could forget Tatiana del Toro from season eight, talk about high drama.

Then there was the top 12, the truly gifted of the bunch, there have been a bunch from that group and below that have gone on to recording careers. This was where I thought the show really got interesting, it was no longer under the control of the producers and judges. We the people got to get involved and get involved we did. By the millions we would call and text our votes for the kids we thought should continue on. I mean really voted, in the case of David Cook and David Archuleta together garnered 97.5 million votes from ‘Idol’ viewers. 97.5 million votes. I mean to tell ya, President Obama received between 65 and 70 million of the popular vote, George before him only received a bit of 60 million. Is that not crazy? We cast more votes for an entertainer than for the leader of our country – CRAZY. Although I wish folks as talented as the idol hopefuls were running for office, maybe our country would be better off.

I am not sure what happened though, this year we have not watched one single show. I do not think it has anything to do with new judges, and from what I hear Jennifer and Steven are doing a fine job but……. I suspect that I just did not want to make that big of an investment of time to watch. If you watch, you must watch all of it, you can’t hunt and peck on which shows to watch. It is a large investment of time to watch, a couple of shows a week, some 2 hours long for a few months. In a time where we are watching less of the mind sucking crap on the tube I was just not sure I was up to the investment in the drama. Like all shows this one is built around drama, the drama between the contestants, the drama between the judges, the drama between Ryan and the judges – drama, drama drama. I think it was just getting old for me.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

who in the hells cares??

I am sure you have heard about Charlie Sheen, the dope addled, self-absorbed dipshit from TV and movie fame lately. Of course you have, for some reason the media just will not let us forget him or his porno star dope suppliers. His real name is Carlos Irwin Estevez, like his Dad I suppose he thought Sheen sounded better. I am very frustrated with all the coverage of this knuckle head. We wonder what is wrong with our society, well the handling of Charlie is a perfect example of what is wrong. This rich, narcissistic, blow hard, addict makes almost 2 million bucks a week. I have seen his show, it’s funny but I will ever watch it again. Funny or not our watching is what gathers rating for the show and the rating are what make advertisers buy ads and that is how this lunatic supports his out of control lifestyle.


I really do not care how he lives or what he does, what I do wonder about is why the media is playing the story to death. I was glad to see that Warner Brothers finally shit-canned him, how could they not when he was his own biggest problem. Don’t get me wrong, I have empathy for those addicted but until one wants to quit and get help there is no helping them. Help yourself and I might lend hand, act like a stupid teenage who just found girls and dope for the first time and you will get NOTHING from me.

Another thing that REALLY aggravates me is this, since January 28th, which is when ol Charlie had his latest relapse (of MANY), we have had 31 military heroes make the ultimate sacrifice with little to no mention on the news. But this primadonna, cocaine huffing good for nothing bag of shit has had more coverage then probably has been spent on all the 5907 fallen Military members and that is a shame.

I have only seen snippets of his ridiculous behavior but one does not have to look long and wonder, maybe there is something else going on there. Maybe, just maybe there are some undiagnosed or at least untreated bipolar issues. DO NOT get me wrong, I am in no way defending this booze hound womanizer in any way I am just saying that his behavior is SO bizarre one has to begin to ask, what in the hell is wrong with that guy.

I for one am asking that people stop watching the ridiculousness about him on TV, that is the only way it will go away, that and stop watching his shows. To do otherwise is to contribute to his problems, that we have to deal with when the media goes batty over his actions.

And that is the last you will ever see about Carlos Irwin Estevez in my blog

Sunday, March 6, 2011

This is a look at walls, and what I think about them

I recently read an article in Texas Monthly talking about the wall our government is building along our border and it just never ceases to amaze me how our government is so reactionary. It also points out to me that nothing good comes when decisions are made from or in a committee. Folks have been building walls since the dawn of time, fencing in our livestock to sustain life I suspect is where it started but a fence serves the same purposes as a wall. There have even been, in more recent times, walls built as memorials and even as pieces of art.

I do not think the wall along our southern border with Mexico is really art but one Frenchman shot it in a way that almost says it is beautiful. I love great photographs, I do. They capture a moment in time and depending on the equipment and methodology used a truly magnificent piece can be created. Seems that Maurice Sherif, a French photog has published some pictures in “The American Wall” which they say is an outright attack on the wall. They say reading the essays will inform you and are against the building the wall but when you look at the photo’s they are indeed truly beautiful.

How can we put this dichotomy together, a tragic story of isolationism and some really incredible pieces of art depicting the same thing. Seems strange to me really that we are building a wall along the border to begin with.



We can scroll through history, recent and ancient, and find examples of failed wall systems. We can look at the Wailing Wall, the famous Jewish religious site located in the Old City of Jerusalem that was created by Herod the Great in 19BC. That wall did not start out as a holy site that folks make a pilgrimage to. The Great Wall of China was built, rebuilt, and maintained between the 5th century BC and the 16th century to protect the northern borders of the Chinese Empire from the attacks of nomadic tribes from the north. That wall meant little to Mongol hoards, they befriended the wall builders and got in anyway. We also have Hadrian’s Wall, which was built by the Romans to protect their colony Britannia from the tribes in Scotland. 73 miles of wall across the north of England that was another wall building folly, over 9000 roman soldiers garrisoned along the wall, that today is little more than an archeological oddity.

If we scroll up a little closer in time, we can look at the Maginot Line built by the French after getting their asses handed to them in WWI by the Germans. Leading up to WWII they started building a wall, with serious fortifications, along the German border. When the blitzkrieg got rolling the Germans simply went through Belgium and the Netherlands as well as through the Ardennes Forest which was north of the main defenses and whooped their asses again. Keep that last sentence in mind as I will come back to that. So in 1961 when the cold war was heating up, the Berlin wall went up. That boondoggle was a desperate but effective move by East Germany to stop East Berliners escaping from the Soviet-controlled East German state. A stupid wall that many lost their lives over. I have a piece of that wall that my Mom got for me when she visited Germany, taking a small hammer and breaking off a chunk for me.

There are however some walls that are good, the American Immigrant Wall of Honor for example.

This wall is tracking the 17 million that have immigrated to the United States through Ellis island.

There is also the Veterans Memorial wall in DC, a tribute to the 58,195 Military that made the ultimate sacrifice for their country during the Vietnam War. That is a powerful piece of art blended with history and if you have not taken the trip to sit a stare at that wall for a while please do, it speaks a powerful message. That wall is the quintessential example of a wall as art.

There is also the Chewing Gum Wall in San Luis Obispo as another example of art. “Bubblegum Alley” is a local tourist landmark in downtown. That one is kinda gross to me but I do feel it is art and should be respected as such.


The Lennon Wall in Prague is another such example of art in wall form. The Lennon Wall was once a normal wall but since the 1980s it has been filled with John Lennon-inspired graffiti and pieces of lyrics from Beatles songs. I would like to see that someday.


So we have all these example of walls, used for different things. The ones that were walling people in or walling people out were all abject failures, history tells us as much. I just listed a few, there are MANY, MANY more examples. So I am not sure how building a wall along the border went from concept to reality. I know it involved our elected representatives in Washington, I suppose that is all that needs to be said about that. These dunderheads who represent us have decided to spend an ass load of money building a wall and for what? They are obviously not students of history, walls to keep folks in place do not work. But here we are building walls, probably more for the pork barrel spending in those districts than anything else.

It is, and will be, like the Maginot Line. A disconnected set of walls, with openings here and there, that will let the boogie men in anyway - when they want in. Instead of fixing the problems with immigration, something harder than they can understand, our government has decided to build walls instead. I know there are valid concerns for the security of the border, seems most of the “brew-ha-ha” lately has revolved around the drug gangs operating along the border. That is a Mexican problem that did not exist before because the Mexican government was paid handsomely to “looked the other way”. They gave up on trying to control the flow of drugs, and in return the gangsters kept the violence to a minimum and did not draw undue attention. The new regime does not feel that way, undoubtedly due to pressure from the United States to crack down on the “War on Drugs”.

I am not sure what the answer is, but it does not (or should not) take anyone long to see that building a 25 foot tall wall along parts of the border is not the answer. What is this wall costing to build? What will it cost to maintain? What will the costs be in human lives? For the wall in Germany, the costs were too high on all fronts.

So I say to you Mr. President, tear down this wall