So today I finish as Ms. Oatmeal experiencing “as seen on television” products

So I finished all my personal grooming after a quick ouch up with my “Flowbee” the revolutionary home haircutting system that cuts my hair evenly with recessed blades and trims it precisely. The results are a refreshing vacuum haircut. I am now ready to start getting dressed. I first retrieve my bra from the “Bra Baby”, that incredible little gadget that saves money and makes bras last much longer, it saves time, no more hand washing and it keeps bras clean and looking like new, wash after wash. It has eliminated ripped lace, twisted underwire, tangled straps, or crushed padding on all of my bras. Once I have spent $20, $40, or even $60 for a single bra, I did not want to toss it in the washing machine where it will get ruined. The answer to all my bra woes, the Bra Baby! Once I get my Bra on I reach for the “Strap Perfect”, I have found that it gives my cleavage a firm and youthful lift. The custom fit flatters me in any outfit and gives a beautiful instant boost to my silhouette. I have found that my “Inflatable Husband”, who is a low maintenance partner for a stress free, easy life, really likes the Strap Perfect because it redistributes the weight from my chest and guides my shoulders back for more perfect posture. He says with a lift like that he thinks I look at least one cup size bigger! My Inflatable Husband is otherwise totally silent, this big hunk of love has eyes only for me. That's right, no wandering eyes, ogling other women, and general bad behavior and he floats, is always faithful, never breaks wind, doesn't watch football, and is always willing to please. I then apply “Dream Lips”, the vitamin-enriched conditioner that softens my lips and diminishes fine lines. Dream Lips works to help make my lips appear plump and fuller and I can even wear Dream Lips under my lipstick as it won't effect how the lipstick goes on or the color.

I then slip into my “Slimming shapers”, the slimming Shaper instantly make me look pounds thinner, with smooth, toned, sexy curves in all the right places. I have found that unlike other shapers, Slimming Shapers firm all my trouble areas, from under my bra to above my knees, for completely comfortable control. I no longer worry about those unsightly bumps and bulges because with Slimming Shaper I feel sexy, beautiful and confident even in the clinging knits. Before getting the rest of my clothes on, I quickly and easily apply some “Salon Bronze Sunless Airbrush Tanning Spray”. I find Salon Bronze is the perfect sunless tanning system that gives me a deep, natural tan that can't be washed away. I enjoy a gorgeous tan without harmful UV rays by simply using the even-mist applicator. After a quick straightening of my hair with the Maxiglide Hair Straightening Iron, Straightening hair has never been easier by the way, I reach up to my “Hollywood Purse Hook” that keeps my “Buxton Bag” off the floor. Immediately I am thankful that the convenient, strong, portable hanging system has a nonslip grip. I look longingly at my “Purse Brite Organizer”, the lighted purse organizer that comes with 10 expandable and retracting pockets for my keys, glasses, checkbook, cell phone, makeup, mints, mirror, coupons, business cards, credit cards, pens, sunglasses, pills, personal items, etc. When I combined it with the Buxton Bag I found I could expand on the already very impressive Buxton over shoulder organizer, the all-in-one over shoulder sling bag that holds it all! It already featured an abundance of spacious pockets and compartments for organizing personal items, travel gear, make-up, CDs, cell phone, mp3 player, and GPS navigation devices.

So out to the kitchen I go to make breakfast for the kids and I immediately break out the “Bacon Genie”, that stylish, dishwasher safe, cooking tool designed to hang bacon vertically while cooking, 12 delicious crispy bacon strips at a time. I also pull out my “Bagel Biter”, the best guillotine bagel slicer cutter on the market today. I am impressed with the safety first approach, I never worry about cutting myself, it is also top shelf dishwasher safe and has a non stick coated blade for easy slicing & easy cleaning. After I get the bagel all set I reach for my “Egg Genie”, the egg cooker that gives us perfect eggs everytime, it is easy to use and clean up and has a built-in steel piercing pin and is also great for steaming vegetables or cooking up to seven eggs at once. The auto off & built-in cooking timer is a big safty feature and the clear top allows me to view eggs while they are cooking. Once my eggs are done cooking they go directly into the “5-in-1 egg slicer” this thing is NOT an average Egg Slicer, it can handle slippery hard-boiled eggs, cutting the eggs into attractive slices. I also grab an apple and a banana from my “Banana Tree Fruit Bowl”, it combines style and function in my kitchen, it is an elegant chrome fruit basket that elevates items to prevent bruising. From there my goodies go into the “Bonzai Food Chopper” to be chopped, diced & minced. Even though I hate chopping vegetables food preparation with the Bonzai Food Chopper takes only seconds, rather than minutes. I coat the kids whole breakfast with honey from the “No Drip Syrup & Honey Dispener” the attractive all glass beehive design has an 8 oz capacity that dispenses the exact amount needed. When I was done with breakfast I looked at the “Smart Spin Kitchen Cabinet Organizer” for a container to store the leftovers, this thing was designed to handle all my kitchen organization needs in the space I reserve for my coffee maker, about 1 square foot. With the Smart Spin I never worry about fumbling with lids again with the same size locking lids.

It was then on to finish the house cleaning, I grab my battery powered “Go Duster”; it was designed for comfort with an ergonomic and balanced handle that has an almost effortless feel. The rinse and air dry brush heads clean easily and quickly, picking up dust in a fraction of the time. After getting most of the dust up I still had the dreaded blinds to clean, I temporarily forgot about the machine washable “Fuzzy Wuzzy Blind Cleaner”. The innovative Fuzzy Wuzzy microfiber blind cleaner by Evriholder Products is the easiest way to keep my mini blinds clean and dust-free. The Fuzzy Wuzzy blind cleaner is designed to reach in and through the slats of blinds of all kinds whether metal, aluminum, wood or vinyl. I move into the front room with my “Rejuvenate Restorer” kit because I found it is never too late to rejuvenate. My floors looked tired and worn out so I love Rejuvenate Restorer, in just one quick, easy application, I made my floors look new again. Rejuvenate fills in scuffs and scratches and seals surfaces to protect against wear and tear. Once complete with the floors I really needed to relax a bit, a glass of wine I thought, the “Penguin Wine Opener” adjusts to fit larger bottle sizes, that I like. It is smooth, lightweight and easy to use and comes with a 10 (TEN) year warranty and is the world's easiest wine opener. I simply raise the handle, place on top of a wine bottle, lower the handle to insert the magnesium corkscrew, lift the handle to remove the cork without twisting. My feet were really bothering since I was on my feet all day long, the constant pounding make my feet, ankle, knees, hips and back just ache. I realized I forgot to install my “Impact Gel” insoles and inserts that soften the blow and relieve the pressure on heels and balls of my feet by absorbing the shock and redistributing my weight from under sensitive pressure points. They are perfect for tennis shoes, dress shoes, work boots, hiking boots, cowboy boots and almost any footwear.

I was syc’d about trying the Bamboo Steamer Basket, the10 inch diameter with slatted bamboo bottoms that includes two baskets and one lid. It is great for vegetables, poultry and seafood and with the domed lid it traps in moisture and retains flavor and with the larger size is perfect for families or entertaining. I also loaded up the culinary award winning “Flavorwave Oven”, the infrared oven that cooks food evenly from the inside out. It cooks frozen steak, chicken, and any other meat faster than a microwave - without having to thaw out. I was amazed at how quickly I could cook a great tasting meal. I threw some corn in the “Microwavable Quick Cobs Corn Steamer” this microwavable corn steamer quickly steams 2 full size ears or 4 mini ears. No more waiting for water to boil. It will steam corn quickly in the microwave and this gadget that has a limited 5 year manufacturer's warranty and patented material that transfers heat to food. We were wanting some pasta for dinner so I pulled out my “Fasta Pasta Microwave Cooker”. It is, of course, microwave and dishwasher safe, cooks all types of pasta, and has a strainer and measure built in the lid, all I had to do was add water and cook in microwave. I found it saved me time and energy and I was glad it was proudly made in USA. For dessert I plugged in the “Hershey's Kisses Dessert Fondue Pot” that is cool, collectible & a great conversation piece. It never fails to bring family and friends together to enjoy a fun treat, it is ideal for chocolate & other dessert fondue recipes.

But wait there is more, just not today. I am telling you I laughed harder working on these 5 days of blog posts than I have in a long time. The funniest part is I did not make ANY of this up, it all comes from the ads we all see on television. The second funniest part is there are still hundreds of products I have not talked about so there will be more of these, probably in a one day version.

How many of these products have you heard advertised? How many have you bought? How many have you thrown away?