I watched a commercial last night that is proof the world has gone completely mad.

It is called the SPINLASH™ and the TV offer includes 2 rotating brushes, 2 SPINLASH™ Mascaras and you can choose from black or brownish black. This mascara has a motorized head that gently rotates to create perfect eyelashes every time, I did not know before but it’s a 75 dollar value and it is available to us for the low price of 19.99. It will provide perfect lashes every time that have twice the volume in half the time. It is the first mascara that lines, coats and curls all at the same time and with no more clumps. It gently rotates 360 degrees, in both directions for upper and lower lashes and for righties and lefties, to offer big sexy eyes and of course, the offer is not available in stores. There is a patent pending on the unit that uses the gentle motion of the rotating brush to remove clumps while each revolution separates, coats, lengthens and volumizes your lashes. Of course it is suitable for contact wearers and has not been tested on animals. Did I mention that we are also assured that perfect lashes will be provided every time we use the thing.

Everyone knows that eyelashes are naturally disorganized, this is normal. According to the research clumping is the #1 complaint about mascara. For me that begged the question, why does it clump? Little did I know that clumps are caused by applying mascara to natural, disorderly lashes. To me, attempting to apply traditional mascara to crazy disorderly eyelashes would be analogous to applying hairspray to hair that is tangled, ya just would not do it! SPINLASH™ somehow removes clumps with every turn, and according to the folks at SPINLASH™ you can, for the first time, simultaneously comb and coat your eyelashes giving you perfect lashes every time! Well after knowing all that I was reaching for the phone when I considered, is this thing safe? Well low and behold I find the SPINLASH™ has several safety features, built right in. Things like the Stabilizing Trunk that controls brush movement, allowing the brush to revolve on a consistent axis and the brush itself is pressure sensitive, if the user uses too much force, pushing it to firmly against their face for example the rotating brush stops automatically, saving your eyes from catastrophe. It also has a built in control panel, this control panel automatically reacts to the user, take your finger off the button and it stops gently rotating.

So after learning what a modern marvel this 20 dollar gadget was I started wondering, who would invent such a thing? Well come to find out it was Barbara Carey, who knew. In case you are not a Barbara Carey fan, as I am, she has marketed over 100 of her own ideas, for petes sake she invented the Hairagami, and that friends became an American phenomenon. She is also the creator and President of Dittie, LLC. Dittie is a feminine protection brand and a company that is committed to breaking the taboos that surround periods and the women who endure them. This dynamo has even launched seven different companies, and been awarded over a dozen US patents. On top of all that, she wrote the award winning book "The Carey Formula: Your Ideas are Worth Millions."

I see all this as proof we are all idiots and will buy any damn thing when the person hocking it is good at it, and that friends is a damn shame. What has the world come to that someone can make a living off the backs of actual hard working people by perpetrating a marketing attack on us. The commercial for this eyelash thingy shows the person using the traditional method and she looks like a person who had 23 cups of coffee and is partially blind in one eye and had giant globs of mascara on her lashes. Now I can't say for everyone but that has never happened in the times I have used traditional mascaras. How realistic is that anyway, it is just like the guy who has about 300 feet of weed eater line tangled around his head and shoulders that was advertising a new and improved cutter that assured us that we could avoid this tangled nightmare by simply buying their gadget. What crap, I have been putting string in a weed eater for A LONG TIME and never once have I gotten any of it wrapped around my freaking head! The marketing folks are good, we buy the SPINLASH and we buy all manner of other crap we do not need or really even use after the initial novelty wears off.

Before you buy that next new have to have it gadget ask yourself, would Mr. Oatmeal give you crap for buying it.