So are you as curious as me about when lunches will be free?

In the age of economic disaster, I have noticed what appears to be a very competitive rivalry between the sandwich joints. I believe it all started a few years ago with a couple of the burger joints, ya know the 99¢ menu. You could get a 99¢ burger, a 99¢ fry and amazingly enough you could even get a drink for nothing more than an additional 99¢– truly remarkable! Before long all the burger joints had a reduced price menu, even some of the chicken joints were getting in on the action. For me I always wondered what was wrong with the food they were selling for what seemed like less than the cost? It was almost like maybe we were getting day old donuts, you know the ones that are a bit stale but cheap and if you warmed them up there were at least edible. For obvious reasons I never bought into or partook of the 99¢ menu.

As we have progressed through the current economic mayhem the food joints have really stepped up their games. No longer are the GREAT DEALS only at the burger joints, the sandwich shops have watched what the others were doing and seem to have turned it upside down and put a whipping on them. I think it started with the 5 dollar foot long, we were inundated with stupid people singing a stupid song about a stupid foot long submarine sandwich for stupid 5 bucks. It even digressed into what I considered a sexual thing when the women started holding up their hands and smiling devilishly when they sang foot long. I was embarrassed for them. I thought they could not get any stupider when they had the guy who lost a bunch of weight eating nothing but Subway sandwiches but low and behold it did. Maybe it was not so stupid, I am sure they are great marketing ploys that are very well thought out to convince us that a subway sandwich will change our lives for the better – I say bull shit!

Another sub joint is now leading the charge on the sub sandwich advertising attack being perpetrating against us. It started with something called a torpedo I believe and it was only 4 dollars, you heard me right just 4 dollars for a sub sandwich, I could hardly contain my excitement. I did notice that in the commercial they rarely put that sandwich next to anything that we may be able to reference the actual size of the 4 dollar sandwich and I personally believe the hand holding the things belonged to a three year old. While that sandwich was a foot long, I seem to remember but don’t quote me, it was about as big around as a small chair leg, but it only cost 4 bucks. When you think back to the burger joints 99¢ menu, we could get a burger, fries and drink and apple pie for 4 bucks so just how good a deal was it? It did not take long for the war to begin, a say war because it is nothing less than war the way they are advertising at us. Well no sooner did I come to that realization they came out with another sandwich for 3 bucks, no kidding 3 bucks for a the sandwich. I have no idea how big this thing is but I am guessing it equates to about a slice of bread, probably the heel, and one thin slice of meat and about one half a Kraft single slice of cheese.

Just when I thought it could not get any worse one of the chicken joints came up with what they call a five dollar fill-up box. When they show the guy eating one his partner is eating a five dollar foot long. That sub looks terrible, I bet they could not have made that five-dollar sub look worse and personally I believe they leached the color out of it during the editing process. I work in television so I know they can do that. Anyway the colors of the box, the drink and the food in the fill-up box was extraordinarily vibrant in color, it was shameless I tell ya. So in this fill-up box there were 2 pieces of chicken, both looked small, a biscuit which had to be small to fit on the box and one side, it looked like enough cold slaw to fill up 2 normal tablespoons and then a medium drink. Medium drink my ass! There is no such thing as a small drink in these places, it is medium, large and the 44 ounce super size. The size small does not have a nice ring to it so they just up and changed the name of the small drink to medium. Pizza Hut is in the game as well with a variety of 5-dollar lunch fare. The P-zone is touted to weigh a pound, that is just what I wanted, to buy my lunch like I might buy feed corn or a 40-pound bag of dog food.

I have never been a fast food kind of guy anyway and since I have been losing weight that is definitely not on my list of approved food items. Don’t get me wrong, I like to enjoy a sub every now and again but the ones at Publix (our grocery store) are WAY better and while they are not playing games with cost, which reduces the amount of food on the sandwich, they make a fabulous sandwich for a fair price.

Please folks DO NOT let them suck you with the absurd advertisements.