Flying – What has it come to in the day of discount Airlines?

So there I was minding my own business and the next thing I knew I was receiving an itinerary for a flight to Ohio. With my niece moving to Florida we were on again off again on whether I would fly up and drive down with her. The initial plans had her renting a U-haul truck with the trailer for towing her Honda behind it and we would be driving that over the 900+ miles, what fun I thought. Don’t get me wrong I was very excited about my niece coming to live with us but as anyone knows a quick flight and driving a U-haul with a trailer over 900 miles through the mountains of Kentucky and Tennessee is not really a vacation but more like a job, one you do not like. So my niece traded her old Honda in and got a Scion TC that was only a year or two old so that started to change the plan. There were a number of iterations of the plan, or lack of plan I called it, in the months leading up to the big move. In the final week the plans were getting nearly finalized, my niece was just going to pack all she could in her new car and just drive it down. After talking to her she indicated that she would just drive until she was tired and then stop at a rest area and sleep, obviously I made her promise me that she would not do that and she would get a hotel when she stopped, which she promised me she would do. I felt better about that part anyway.

With only a few days before she was to depart I was not flying, no flight and no 15 hour drive in a Scion TC (a small car for an old fat man) and I was thinking that is OK with me. The plan had changed so many times that I told my niece and sister that no plan was fine with me, until it started to interfere with my plans. Well after a last minute conversation with my Sister, it was decided I would fly up and drive back with her. My Sister jumped on Expedia.com and asked what time I would prefer to fly, I indicated the earlier the better. She pecks on the keyboard for a few minutes and then asks, how about 7:50 with an arrival of 11:47 to which I respond that would be great, it would give me a day to see my Dad and hang out before we left first thing in the morning. It was only 121 bucks - what a bargain. Bride and I walk every morning and on Monday morning she asks me what time do you leave, and when I got back to the house I pulled up the itinerary and realized that I was in fact leaving at 7:50 PM and arriving at almost midnight in Dayton. I called my Sister and thanked her for that, I hate flying on the last flight of the day because there is no room for error and there are always errors. I realized that Air Tran charges for each bag you check and I HATE to carry bags onto the plane, other than my I-Pod and a composition book so I can write in. I FedEx’d a box to Ohio with my stuff, I thought if I have to pay anyway I might as well use someone who would not lose my stuff.

I get a ride to the airport on Wednesday night for my 7:50PM flight and when I start to check in the attendant tells me that the flight from Jacksonville to Atlanta was delayed by 1 hour. He then indicated that while they could get me to Atlanta my flight to Dayton would have left by the time I got there, great I thought. I tell him I would rather not sleep in the Atlanta airport and ask him to get me on the red eye in the morning, which luckily there were three seats left on. I let out a sigh of relief, there were like 20-30 people behind me, all getting screwed because they picked that cheap flight, cheap because it was the last one of the day. My flight would be leaving at 6:20am so they told me I needed to be there 2 hours ahead, 4:20 AM – holy cow I would be getting up early. I ask him if he could at least get me my boarding passes now so I do not have to do that in the morning, he was great and printed them up for me, even though they had not even assigned a gate number yet. I thought OK that should allow me to get there closer to 5:20 instead. So I call my ride and go back home.

I am up at 4am and off we go, I arrive at the airport at 5:15 and HOLY COW there are thousands of people, little did I know that every single airline has a red eye to multiple places each weekday. I immediately got nervous and proceeded directly to the TSA screen area. I instantaneously realize I am in trouble as I become cattle and traverse the little roped off lanes that go back and forth, back and forth, back and forth and back and forth again. When I finally arrive at the front of the switchbacks someone scrutinizes my ID and boarding pass with more of a jaundiced eye than was required for me to get a top secret security clearance when I was in the military. I dared not say a word because Lord knows you can’t joke about ANYTHING while standing in that line for fear of being hauled off to camp X-Ray in Guantanamo bay Cuba. Well I assume they have some facial recognition software being fed a high definition video feed because it picked me, I can only assume my face was screaming nervous (about making my flight) pissed off (that I was not able to get a coffee this morning) and probably a general malaise about flying anyway. Of course, I was pulled aside for some additional scrutiny – grand I thought. I will not go into the details of that indignity but trust me when I tell you folks keep a freaking smile on your face while going through that line!

I arrive at the gate as they are shouting out last call for boarding my flight, I get on the plane, on my way down the little movable square tube that goes down to the plan I was praying they did not give my seat to someone else. The plane was completely full, with the exception of seat 10C – hot diggity I thought. Off we went to Atlanta, I listened to my I-pod and slept for 47 minute flight. In Atlanta I came in on concourse B and was departing on D and had about 23 minutes to get there. I walk at a good clip and catch the tram to D concourse and when I get to the gate they are barking out last call to get on this plane as well, again the plane was FULL, except for seat 10B – I thought, I am free at last, free at last. The flight to Dayton was uneventful and I wrote on that leg of the flight. When I get off the plane I call my Sister, straight to voicemail, one more time, straight to voicemail again. I thought damn, I am going to be stuck because when I talked to her last night her, my brother in-law and niece would all be making the trip. I call my niece and wake her up, I really get nervous now and immediately call my brother in-law, I know he will be there and he was. Away we went to Urbana, we picked up my Sister and niece and then went to my Dad’s to get him before we went to lunch. After lunch we immediately get on the road, I wanted to make it to Atlanta before we stop today. We stayed with some friends in Atlanta, thanks again for that and then on Friday we were home by noon. Quite a trip really and in the end it all worked out and that is really how you have to judge an ordeal like that. I am somewhat anal and develop plans when traveling so the complete lack of and constantly changing plans were challenging for me to understand but it did not really interfere with anything so it was great.

If for some reason you ever get me a plane ticket, I like to fly in the AM and not the last flight in the PM