Separation makes the heart grow fonder - my ass!!

It has been better than a couple of weeks since Bride went out to Texas and over a week since I was in Vegas. Seems it has just really started getting hard for me to think about not seeing Bride when I get home from work. I guess the first few days were cool, house to myself and all of that male machoness. Then I went to Vegas and was busier than a one legged man at an ass kicking contest, with an arthritic knee by the way and I did not have time for it to sink in. When I first got back I was busier than a one armed paper hanger, one who suffers with tennis elbow no less, so it still had not really sunk in. Now as I sit around that house and there is no Bride and I am sad. There is no one to tell about how my day was and I am not getting to hear how her day was. It is a routine we have and evidently I have taken it for granted because I really miss that first sight of her when I walk in and my heart still leaps. All I have now are the critters. Don’t get me wrong, I love them all but they are not bride.

I think Bride and I have the best marriage on the planet, I suppose everyone thinks that about their marriage, and I think we communicate very well. It is almost scary that she can anticipate, with a VERY high degree of accuracy, what I will do in almost any situation I find myself. I am pretty in tune with her in the same way. That does not mean we still do not communicate very well with each other, just that we do it not only verbally but using all the other ways as well. I can tell by the sound of her voice if she is happy, sad, upset joyful or freaking out about this or that, Hamster fits we call. Hamster, now there is a funny nickname with a funny story. I will give you the short version. One day while we were dating I was trying to call her Honey and Sam (I nickname from early in her life) well it came out Ham and well, I am sure you can figure out the rest. So she is the Hamster and sometimes when she is pissed, she has Hamster fits. I am laughing even writing about it.

Seems like we have always been together and I can remember Hamster fits as far back as we go together. I love her so much and in so many ways and I know that she loves me in the same way. It is so cool to me that I have found not only my life partner but my soul mate. It is like we were destined to be together, we laugh all the time that “no one else would have either one of us” so at least we got that worked out. We are so different and we are so a like, seems weird to say but it is true. She completes who I am and I complete who she is and I could not imagine my life without her in it.

I think the mix of both of our combined dysfunction is what makes it work. We both have a good number of idiosyncratic behaviors but we know what they are and ya know what – they are just not important to us. We do not have to be alike or like all the same things. That is where I see the slippery slope in some marriages that have ended. Two people are not going to always like the same things and that is OK. I could not imagine us both liking ALL the same things, how crazy would that be. For those who know Bride just imagine for a second her out in the garage laying in a pool of grease with half Jalopy’s transmission laying on her chest while I was attempting to align the clutch plate. Hahaha, I don’t think she would be a very good helper, let alone a mechanic. It makes me laugh just thinking about it. But there are things that Sandy does that I would be just as inept doing. The point is we do our own thing and we do our thing together and it is OK, we are different people. We are different people than we were when we started dating but we grew into our current selves together (however dysfunctional and bizarre as we might be). 

Plus when we are pursuing our individual interests we get a break from being on top of each other, I don’t mean that in a bad way at all. I am just saying as much as I love Bride I could not spend all of my time 24/7 with her, and she most assuredly could not deal with me in chucks of time bigger than 3 hours at a time (ok she could most likely handle more than 3 hours but not much more). A relationship expands and contracts over time, and that is OK. We just have to recognize when the ebb and flow are happening so we can recognize and accept or change what is happening. I miss her, she gets back on Tuesday and find that I can hardly contain myself or think of anything else. I am planning (probably too much as that is my way) our reunion. Funny that she knows me well enough to have anticipated my over complicating things and has a better plan in place that she will, when it is said and done, have convinced me that it was my plan all along.

Our relationship is the most special thing in the world to me, it is so wonderful to be so committed to another that who you are blends into who you are together. There have been many others who can better express themselves and their love via the written word but I do not think any have felt the way I feel about Bride, the “Technicolor Rainbow” and it describes my feelings pretty well.

A life changed, Contorted, warped, painted as a Technicolor rainbow, And spun three hundred and sixty degrees.

You’re a magician, a creator, a vision, an artist.

You recreated me completely, drew me in with your seductive scent.

You smell of the rain, peppermint, and lust.

An aroma which clings to the air I breathe in.

Your embrace is a comfort I had eternally craved, and now I have,Like the warmest of blankets in the coldest of winters.

So warm, so strong.

Together each day will fill in the spaces, and remove all the grey.

Redecorating our lives for a more homely stay.

I’m right where I should be, and it’s all thanks to you, In our castle is where we will stay happy, alive, together at last.

Kiss me, hold me now, my sweet, my angel, a darling Princess.

I am in love.

Amen, I am in love with Bride and that sums it up!!!