Do you have a favorite place in the world?

The other day I was talking with a good friend of mine, his Momma just went into Hospice care and they had stopped at his favorite place in the world on their way. We started talking about favorite places and he asked me what my favorite place in the world was. I was not prepared with an answer, I truthfully have never thought about pinpointing a favorite place in the world. In the context of our conversation it seemed odd to me that I did not have one, I have been all over the world when I served in the United States Navy. I stood there for a few moments thinking about it and could come up with nothing.

His favorite place in the world is Pope’s Landing and Marina in Danvers Massachusetts. I have heard stories about Pope’ Landing for years so I knew it was an important place for him. He spent some of his youth working there for a man named Iggy Gagnon (I think that was his last name), who was the Harbor Master. I heard great stories of the mentor that Iggy was and I heard horrific stories of finding a dead body while diving down to a car that went down the boat ramp and sank. He told of working with Iggy to get a dock built that was questionably based on the set of prints used and his first time driving the Harbor Master’s boat. We looked on the internet at the place that morning and he showed me his favorite place. He even showed me the bench where his brother had taken his Momma that morning. I know that one day he will be able to go and sit at that bench and smile, remembering his youth, his mentor and his Momma.

So, we talked more about favorite places and he asked me again, so what is your favorite place. I stammered through my memory and found nothing that I considered my favorite place in the world. I thought about gazing up at the Sistine Chapel ceiling, I thought about chasing girls in Rio de Janeiro, I thought about a picnic table in Kiser Lake state park, I thought about wandering around the Great Pyramids, and I thought about the spot Bride and I go in the evening to watch the sunset. Nothing was popping out as my favorite place in the world. I told him I would ponder on it a while and let him know the next day. That evening I thought about it some more and still nothing. I remembered being on the beaches of Barbados, wishing I could smoke dope with the locals in Jamaica and snorkeling in Puerto Rico. I thought about all the cool places that my life has taken me and still could not pick a favorite.

That got me to thinking about the ones I went back to more often than others. I remembered lots of places but still I did not look at them as favorites, only that my life had carried me back to a place that I liked and in some cases loved. So, what makes a favorite place in the world? I then actually started looking at exactly what favorite meant and came up with, 1) a person or thing regarded with special favor or preference, 2) a competitor considered likely to win. 3) a person or thing popular with the public and 4) a person treated with special or undue favor by a king, official, etc. So I realized definition #1 and 3 are what I am thinking about. Don’t get me wrong, I am not without favorites. Vanilla ice-cream – favorite, Strip steaks – favorite, peanuts – favorite, but the words most favorite in the world add a new dimension to the decision making process.

So that got me to pondering some places that I really liked and there was one constant that ran through them all. It was not clear at first but after some pondering it popped right out as clear as day. I was having trouble picking a favorite spot in the world because the one thing that does not change is the fact that impermanence rules everything , the constant is change itself. Each time I visit a place, it is a new experience, things have changed since my last visit. It may be fall now instead of spring or there may be an event going on where more people are present or that it is morning now instead of the evening. There could be a breeze one time with no bugs and the next time no breeze and lots of bugs or any other number of factors – nothing in life is EVER the same when we see it next, at least not for me. We have to take the time to examine our surroundings, to notice that things are different.

So knowing that, a place may have been my favorite while I was there but the moment I left, it could no longer be my favorite. That got me to pondering the question from a bigger perspective and I realized that maybe I was mistaken in my initial determination that I do not have a favorite place in the world. I realized that my favorite place in the world is where ever I happen to be when the question is asked. Like right now my favorite place is right here, pecking on the keyboard talking about my favorite place. As I sit I can look to my right and see Bride watching the TV, I can see the animals doing what they are always doing and I can see outside, the greenery and the pool.

I think we spend too much of our lives looking to the past and wondering what could have been and too much time looking at the future wondering what it will be and we miss the right here and the right now. This, the right now, to me, is the only moment that matters, what we do and feel right now is the thing we truly have control over. The past is history, we can not go back and change it, all we can do is reminisce about it. The future, well we have to plan but it is really more up to sheer dumb luck and cosmic coincidence than anything to do with plans that we may think we are making. Why is that, why are we so rushed through our days that we miss the here and now. Sometimes I used to miss it because the experience is not always pleasant, to sit in mourning for the loss of a parent sucks, I have done that twice and it sucks. So maybe we try to get on past it by remembering the past and planning for the future. Who knows??

For me my favorite place is where ever I am when you ask me. Yesterday on my way home from work my favorite place the corner of Jim Tom and University club, that is where I jumped out of the car and ran over and picked a flower for the Bride. When I got home, my favorite place was watching Brides face when I gave her the flower, and the treat from Dairy Queen. Last week when I was crawled under the jalopy grumbling about how greasy things were, you got it, my favorite place. When I am sitting on the beach watching the sunrise, yep favorite place to be. When I get to cuddle with bride and read aloud, another favorite place. When I was attending my Dad’s funeral, still it was my favorite place. I think whatever you are doing or where ever you are, that should be your favorite place. Enjoy the moments that we get along the ride, where we have been and where will are going is most assuredly taking care of itself. Slow down, get out of your car and smell, then pick that flower and give it to someone special to you and savor the look on their face, it will be your favorite place.