I do not even know his first name

I was listening to a commercial on the radio today talking about heroes and it got me to pondering and scanning through my own life looking for my heroes. I scanned back to 1977 and found a man I used to deliver the newspaper to, his name, as I knew it, was Coonie Urschel. He was a mean SOB, never a nice word from this guy and by no means a tip at Christmas time or a thank you when the snow was deep. I really did not like this customer, I was forbidden to walk on his grass, “up the drive, turn right on the sidewalk and deliver the paper in that yellow box under the mail box and then reverse the course”. Those were his exact words, I heard them over and over again, mainly because I seemed unable to comply. That open defiance of authority evidently started early for me. I walked on his yard in defiance, I placed his paper in the mailbox in defiance and when he made me really mad I threw his paper inside the screen door in a way that all the sections came apart. Yes, I was a hellion but he was a mean and nasty old man. As I look back, I would guess him to have been about 50-55 at the time but to a 12 year old, he was just an old man, who was mean.

So why would he be a hero to me you might be asking. Well the event that changed my life happened one day and I bet he never knew he had an impact at all. He would never have guessed that 34 years later I would be writing about him and the positive impact he had on my life. He probably did not even know then that he had a huge impact on my life. Now I have to credit my ability to do anything to my Mom, she told me that as long as I worked hard and gave 100% I could do anything in life. Well without that mean assed Coonie Urschel I may not have developed the unshakable confidence I have in myself and my absolute surety in who I am as a person. Wow, all that from some mean old man I delivered the paper to, yep! At that time, my Mom had recently remarried and we moved away from where we grew up and I was having some adjustment issues. I was shy, not confident and always walked around with my head hanging, looking at my feet. I was a troubled yute, as said by Fred Gwynne playing the judge in My Cousin Vinny. So how in world did it happen? Well what he did might land him in jail today but back then things were different and I never told a soul about it.

So there I was one day, walking through the snow delivering the 115 papers I had to pass out every day and without even seeing him I bumped into him, literally. Well he grabbed my face, hard enough to leave marks and jerked it up. He held my face very close to his, within an inch or two and I could smell the liquor on his breath. He then proceeded to explain to me that I had nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed of and that I should not walk around staring at my feet. I was to walk around with my head held high, no matter what was going on or where I happened to find myself, it was an order. I was not to look at my shoes, other than to ensure they were tied. He was almost screaming this at me while he had a vice grip on my face, holding it right up to his. I was so scared I was frozen into immobility and was unable to even say anything to him. I do not remember everything he said but those words made an impact, he got through to a scared kid who was trying to figure out his new life with a Step-Dad now in the picture.

Well you can imagine the impact of that conversation, I remember once he let go of me running away crying. I had to deliver the rest of the papers though so I continued my route, trying not to be crying when people saw me or came out to get their paper. Over the next hour and half I started contemplating what he had said to me. He was right and many things changed in my life, it was the last time I walked around staring at my feet for sure. It was also when I realized that quiet contemplation is a key component of making it through the days of our life. That is when I started what I call meditating, what I do does not really fit into a category of meditation but that is what it is to me. Another thing I learned from him, just because what I am doing does not fit into an accepted mold does not mean that it is wrong or does not work. Even at that young age, I contemplated the words from that mean old man for hours, days and even months, he had made an impact!

I remember thinking to myself that he does not understand my situation, new head of the house, new city to live in, new rules, new school, new this and new that. I had a lot going on in my young life and who in the hell was he to talk to me like that. Well looking back he got it, he was right and I did not get it, at least not immediately. What I learned is that there is always crap in our lives, how we react to it is the important thing. We could let it beat us down or, like I learned, recognize that our lives are full of hardships, trials and tribulations and the thing we must know is that the effects of that can not be allowed to change who we are at our core. No matter the adversity, I have faced it with my head up, not looking at my shoes. Another advantage of keeping your head up is that you can see what is in front of you, literally and figuratively. Literally so you do not bump into things, such as a mean old man and figuratively you can see the what lies ahead of you, your boundless future. Sometimes I think he would be amazed at where I have come to in my life with his inspiration and sometimes I wonder if he was just pissed that I literally ran into him and he was bitching at me for it. It matters little to me now because whichever reason he decided to grab my face and tell me about it the impact was immediate and long lasting.

There have been a lot of folks who have had an impact on my life in one way or another but old Coonie Urschel made a BIG splash and he is one of my heroes for doing it!