Black Friday – WHAT happens to otherwise normal folks?

I was up at 4:15am on Black Friday – but it was not to go shopping. I was up to go out to the beach and watch the sunrise. I was shocked to find the traffic on the roadways at that time was equal to the traffic I normally see on my drive to work later in the morning. WOW, I could not believe that so many people get up to partake in the ridiculousness of what Black Friday is. The day after Thanksgiving has been understood to be the unofficial beginning of the Christmas season, at least since the start of the modern Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade in 1924. I found the term "Black Friday" has only been around since the 60’s. I found two meanings and am not sure which is accurate so I will include both and let you decide – and NO I AM NOT affiliated with the cable news channel that uses some of those words. The best I can find it was 1966 and that the term originated in Philadelphia and was first used by the Philadelphia Police Department for describing the Friday following Thanksgiving Day. Black Friday officially opens the Christmas shopping season in city center and it brings massive traffic jams and over-crowded sidewalks as the downtown stores are mobbed from opening to closing. More recently, merchants and the media have used it instead to refer to the beginning of the period in which retailers go from being in the red, losing money, to being in the black, making money. Well I for one would not run a business that did not move from red to black until one month before the end of the year. That does not make sense to me, too much risk tied up into one month of the year – Stupid is what I would call that if anyone were to ask me.

So I am jalopy riding to the beach and before I even get to my Gate station to pick up a coffee someone had zoomed around me and almost ran into me. I was on Townsend boulevard, a two lane, and was evidently not travelling fast enough for this freaking bozo in a Toyota Camry that passed me. When he got even with the front of my car he decided he needed to get back over into my lane. I was stunned, it was not like he did not see me, he just passed me for petes sake. One thing one must know about driving an old jalopy is that they do not have fast reaction times. Mine is 51 years old and it does not respond as quickly to input from me as it did for the very first owner all those years ago. Hell, it did not have very good reaction times when it was brand new. So I get to Gate and after getting my coffee and saying my blessing to old Juan Valdez. I say a blessing to him, his coffee bean picking ass and thank them both for roaming the hills of Columbia picking the beans that will eventually be ground and turned into – The nectar of the Gods. Once properly caffeinated I was on my way. There are many ways I can go to get to my desired spot at the beach, that decision is made each time after I have had a sip or two the sweet nectar. Today’s course would take me by a Walmart, that store was not used in making my decision making but I decided that I was glad I picked this route as I drove by, in the very early AM on Black Friday.

This particular Walmart is one of the new all Brick Super stores, everything from toothpaste and artichoke hearts to car tires to mulch all the way to shotguns and underwear. This place IS the hell that is a Mac daddy Walmart store. As I drive by the place is lit up like a military installation might be right before a MAJOR deployment. The parking lot is FULL, it is not even 5am and best I can tell the lot covers 687 acres and from my vantage point there was nary a spot available. I remember thinking, you poor bastards. I do not understanding the urge, do not have the where with all or want to deal with that, just for a few cents off of some trinket, whatever it might be and however shiny it may appear. As I watched, I saw a line around the store to the rear loading area, waiting in an endless line for some trinket that could not be done without, at 5am. I hope and pray that I never understand it. With our shift to a one income family times have gotten tougher than they once were in our home. We can still pay the bills, we still are eating and we still can go out to dinner every now and again. Gone are the days of spur of the moment trips to Daytona or Jekyll Island. With the heady days of dual income no kids gone we have been liberated from the materialistic world that we live in. No longer are we compelled to spend, spend, spend, and now we just get by and enjoy not having to have the latest gadget that does this or the newest fangled gadget for that. Truth be told, it feels great and I never thought it would.

There were days that we spent, spent, spent and not just at the holidays. We pretty much purchased anything we wanted. We were true DINK’s, dual income no kids. Without even knowing it we had been indoctrinated into what capitalism has become – spend, spend, spend. If you do not have the money we will still let you spend, it is simple with this plastic and that plastic. It was the road that lead to the current economic challenges we all face in one way or another. So anyway as I am going by Walmart and another knucklehead swerves in front of me in his black Hummer H2 with gigantic wheels. I assumed they were trying to get over in order to exit and get to that Walmart before all the goodies were gone. Like there should be any fear of that place running out of something. Again I thought, don’t folks know how dangerous cutting off a 51 year old car is? I wished for just a moment that in that swerve the monstrous SUV would flip over and skitter along on the roof. It was just a fleeting thought and I took it back for fear that someone could be hurt if such a thing were to happen. I started thinking about Walmart again and remembered back in the day when Bride and her friends would go shopping on this crazy day. I remember on more than one occasion having to take my truck and go and pick up all the goodies they had purchased because they had filled up the Suburban they were riding in. Do you know how much crap will fit in a suburban? There were only 4 of them and I loaded out 9 televisions, that’s right nine of them along with 6 VCR’s. I guess the fact they were VCR’s tells you how long ago that was. It was crazy when Bride and her friends were doing it and it is even crazier now.

Well I am well past the Super Store from hell and almost to the beach. I was stunned at the volume of traffic, it was bad all the way to the beach. No sooner than I crossed the Intercoastal water way, the “ditch” as those who live out there call it, and some new knuckle head in a green Chevy pickup going about 100 miles an hour cuts me off in order to get over to exit onto Mayport road. He was closest to my car out of the three knuckleheads on this day, but I forgave him the fastest. Why you might ask?? There is not much on Mayport road, except that it dead ends into the Mayport Naval Station. I have been on this very road, moving at a good clip, in order to make it to the Ship on time, it is very bad to be late when in the military. I do not know if that was this persons case but I decided to give them the benefit of the doubt and said a silent, thank you for your service to our country. The rest of the ride I pondered all the rides down Mayport road I had made and how those rides that had no return that evening were the worse. It really sucks being away from family, especially around the holidays. I missed many a holiday in my 10 years of service and I hated missing each and every one of them. The worse one I can remember is my last cruise, it lasted for 189 days and IT SUCKED. It sucked for me, it sucked for Bride and it just plan sucked. The homecomings were FANTASTIC but they did not make up for that hateful day of departure or any one of the other days in between. I want to thank every member of our military, past, present and those who are going in – active duty and reservists alike. Thank you for your service to our great country.

When I get to the beach for the sunrise it is COLD! 49 degrees and with the breeze it was COLD. I was prepared for it though so it was not unbearable. It was a magnificent sunrise, very few clouds and the sheer magnitude of its beauty brought me to tears twice. I love it! After a couple of hours I headed out to make my trip back home, I still had house guests so I did not want to stay out to awfully long. On my way home I saw another indicator of the holiday season – the first Christmas tree strapped to the top of a small white station wagon, a Subaru I believe. I thought, Wow this is only the 27th of November and they have a real tree already. I am not sure what kind of chemical treatments one might have to subject a real tree to make it last for over a month after it has been cut down but I do not think I would want them in my house. In my experience when a tree is cut down it is dead, the leave or needles will start to fall off almost immediately. What must they be putting on or in these trees to make them last so long? Maybe it is the stuff that is added to the water they sit in? What could it be that would have a tree last so long after being cut down? Seems it would get so dry that it would be a severe fire hazard to the homeowner that they would be forced to get an insurance rider for the tinder that is the tree.

Black Friday seems to indeed be the start of the insanity, the insanity of firewood in our living rooms with lights on it, the insanity of the biggest push of goods at us by the manufacturers and retailers and the biggest display of needless materialistic consumption on the planet.

Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas and Hope ya have a great new year.

Thanksgiving 2009, I have a lot to be thankful for!

2009 has had its share of adversity for me, I lost my Mom on March 17th and my Dad on October 24th and on a different scale we lost our 9 year old cat, Sybok, on November 14th. When I turned 18, I left and have not lived with or near my parents since. I finally settled in Florida with Bride starting in 1990 and have lived about 1000 miles from my parents since that time. I guess what I am saying is that I did not have a close relationship with them. That does not mean that I did not love them with every fiber of my being, what it does mean is we did not live close to each other and therefore did not see each other very often. No matter what, it is very hard to maintain a close relationship when there is large geographical distance between folks. As I look back over the last year I find that even with all of that, my heart is light and I am happy, there is a lot to be thankful for. My Bride and I are still in love and after 20 years more importantly we are still best friends. We are ambulatory and have a good modicum of health. We have family on both sides that we love and that love us. We are able to pay our bills and they have not kicked us out of our house. My Niece is living with us now, she started her new life in Florida in July, and she has brought a lot of joy to our lives. She has wanted to move to Florida since she was 12 but at 22 finally found a way, to just do it. She is in school to become a surgical technician and working full time, she is quite an ambitious young woman and we are thankful she is in our lives. We have so much to be thankful for that I am embarrassed. Do we wish we had more, sure but do we NEED more – not so much.

I am not sure how it started but at some point we reached a tipping point that had 14 people coming to our Thanksgiving day feast. At first I was thinking no big deal, we can do this. The closer we got to the date, probably 3 weeks out I started really wondering, what does it actually take to feed 14 people. Our record for a dinner at our house was 7 and that seemed easy by comparison. I started thinking about things like, how am I going to sit 14 people, how much food will it take to feed 14 people and what kind of tables will I use to seat those 14 people. Bride and I are not big party throwers, we do not entertain large numbers of people so we had no point of reference for it. While we do cook great meals at Thanksgiving we just have not done so for so many people. Well about a week and half out my anxiety was kicking into high gear. We started calling my sister in an attempt to ask questions, how much turkey, what about gravy and how many pounds of potatoes. She was more than mildly amused, she did however give us good advice and was EXTREMELY helpful in the weeks leading up the big day. I was looking around on the internet as well, Butterball.com is a pretty helpful sight. Once we had finally finalized the menu we thought we were ready and all the items were purchased.

The closer we got I started to calm down, we knew we would have help, my sister the gourmet and others who know more about cooking than Bride and I. We would be having Fried turkey, two 12 pounders along with an 8 pound ham. Ten pounds of red potatoes would be whipped into two batches of mashed, one with skins on, one with skins off. Stuffing, Gravy, yams, broccoli and green bean casseroles and brown and serve rolls would round out the menu for the big day. We would also be having pies that were ordered from the Village Inn. Have I mentioned that Bride and I are not big on the cooking front, I really prefer Stove Top and brown and serve rolls to fancy smancy homemade stuffing and I will not take all the time it takes to make my own bread. Sorry but that is the kinda man I am, I believe that is one of the things about me Bride liked – a simple palette. Bride was pretty sure she would be able to handle the kitchen duties and I would be performing the manly duty of frying the two 12 pound turkeys. We made the casseroles the evening before as well as my world famous homemade cornbread, it is true that I do make a few items from scratch.

So at T-1 day we were feeling pretty confident, tables and chairs were acquired and standing by in the garage. Food was all purchased and as many items that could be made in advance were already prepared. That afternoon I had picked up the first of our visitors at the airport, my Nephew and his Girlfriend who had flown in from Toledo Ohio. We spent the evening relaxing and enjoying the company. T Day, how about that, the T could mean Turkey instead of Time so maybe I was sub subconsciously counting down to Thanksgiving day, who knew. My Uncle and Aunt showed up at about a quarter to 11 and my Sister and her Husband showed up a few minutes later. An hour or so later my other Nephew and his wife and two kids showed up and another friend showed up about the same time. There were several rounds of poker played and much story telling of past times, it was a very enjoyable time. All hands present and accounted for, it was time to leap into action on the meal. There were several items that would take in the neighborhood of one hour in the oven. The potatoes were simmering, chicken necks for the gravy were boiling and that is when everything kicked into high gear.

There were a few speed bumps in that last hour but nothing that could not be overcome. I had inadvertently givien my Sister a container of Bisquick instead of regular flour and that was not reacting in the gravy in a way that she was anticipating. We had a boil over of the potatoes onto the stove. The two birds took about an hour to bring them to fried turkey perfection, and in taste and color they were perfect. My Nephews had moved the furniture out of the living room and set up two 8 foot long tables with table clothes with doilies and silverware. Bride had a lot of welcome help in that last hour in the kitchen and everything came together. My Brother in law and I went to whacking away on the birds and we were dangerously close to sitting down for dinner – I was very excited. We were setting all the food up in the eat in kitchen and on the kitchen counters and everyone would make a trip through with their plates. Before we started I want to say a grace, I had been thinking about it for a few days, for some reason I wanted it to be perfect. I was reviewing it over and over in the days leading up to today. I knew I wanted to thank those farmers that grew and raised the vegetables and animals. I also wanted to thank everyone for making it and I was thankful that everyone could make it. I wanted to thank the men and women in the military and their families for suffering through the holidays without their loved ones. I also wanted to thank the manufactures of the boxes, bags and cans that all this food come in. That was kind of a joke for my Sister, she makes pancakes from scratch and would never consider using Stove top stuffing from a box.

Anyway after the blessing we all got our plates and Bride suggested we go around the table and each tell what we were thankful for. I was unprepared for this and she asked me to go first. I talked about the adversity we had suffered through this year with the loss of both our parents. I also was thankful that we were able to get together and laugh and enjoy ourselves and a few other comments followed. For some stupid reason I did not say I was thankful for my Beautiful Bride. To me that was a “goes without saying” but as I listened to all the other husbands describe how thankful they were for their wives I started feeling bad about that. I love my wife more than ANYTHING and felt bad for slighting her, she did not mind either but I felt bad.

Dinner was fabulous and everyone ate well, there was plenty of leftovers and I was happy about that as well. It ended up being a GREAT time and a good time was had by all. All of my initial anxiety was not founded and I hope we will be able to host a dinner like that again.

Most things in life are truly shades of gray, and they are beautiful for being gray.

I went out to watch the sunrise and some might think it would be disappointing because it was overcast and gray, not me. In the fall we get more fog in the mornings, it is a normal thing. In the fall the air cools quicker than the ocean and as such the air tends to pick up more moisture. Evidently, that additional moisture then hangs in the air as the breeze blows it inland. I am by no means a meteorologist but I have stayed in a Holiday Inn Express, all kidding aside I have no idea why that happens I just know it does. On this morning, I was pondering the shindig that Bride and I will be throwing on Thanksgiving – 14 people is still a bit intimidating for us. I am thankful that I have the rest of week off, vacation time had to be taken or possibly lost and I ain’t losing no vacation time. I also was thinking hard about some additional turmoil in my Texas family life. When I arrived at the beach today I was again surprised by how brightly lit the beach is when it is foggy. The lights from hotels, homes and businesses reflect off the low hanging clouds and light the beach up, almost as if it were day time, it is a weird phenomenon. As I watched the sunrise, I received only 2 minutes to see the sun. It was a dim red globe, barely visible shooting up from the horizon and into the low hanging clouds.

In that moment, I began to ponder why folks may have problems with coming out on a day like today, foggy and overcast because there is never any real colorful light display. Usually when it is not overcast there is a magnificent display of lights and colors that is different every day. As much as I love that show, I love equally the gray and colorless days sitting in my plastic chair. For me it does not matter if it is sunny, overcast, raining, cold, warm or foggy I love coming out here in the mornings. This morning, even though the sand was lit up when I looked out to the ocean it was pitch black – VERY DARK. It was beautiful to watch going from pitch black through shades of gray all the way to blue gray. So here I was back to shades of gray again. I again started thinking about the current family turmoil swirling around a Christmas get together. I know that most of life is lived in various shades of gray. There are very few things that are truly black and white, other than our moral and ethical foundations. For most of us, our moral and ethical grounding comes from our belief systems, the 10 commandments, the 5 principles for the Hindu and the 10 precepts for a Buddhist and the Decalogue for my Muslim friends. I have obviously oversimplified those belief systems into one sentence but you get my point. Those are the only things in my life that are truly black and white, everything else – shades of gray.

Earlier in my life, I summarily dismissed the beauty of all the various and subtle shades of gray. I suspect that may have had something to do with serving 10 years in the United States Navy and the ships were gray. There was also a horrible saying, “haze gray and underway” that was used when discussing what the ship was doing. Basically, it meant we were always gone. It took a long time for me to come to grips with the gray, the gray of all kinds. The gray days, the gray areas that always pop up in relationships and work and every other part of our lives. They can be a depressant if we are not careful and if we can not see gray for what it is, just another form of beauty it can cause problems for us. Those gray areas are where we all live our lives, there are always bright sunny days in our lives, literally and figuratively. There are many, many more gray days in our lives than bright sunny ones. I mean when we think about the days that are truly bright and sunny there are just not that many. We only have a child so many times, we don’t get married every day, we can only get promoted some many times. The truly big events don’t happen every day. Don’t get me wrong, I savor the bright sunny days, I love them but most days, we all live in shades of gray.

So what to do, what to do. Start looking at the gray and learn to live on the gray and love it just as much as the bright colors! What the heck does that mean? Well to me this is what that means. It means we need to be understanding, knowing that each point has a counterpoint, each opinion has a dissenting view and each argument is settled with compromise. When we approach an argument from a black and white perspective it makes it difficult to find common ground. Common ground is where all arguments are settled, the various shades of gray. Black and white will never end well in the face of diverse and sometimes tightly held beliefs. The funniest part to me is this, sometimes we hide behind a cloak of ethical and moral righteousness based on our belief system BUT holding onto something so tightly that we are not able to have a civil dialog, is the inverse of what every belief system I have studied teaches. I am just saying, where is the love. Black and white never ends well, and it is because there is not much in life that is not some shade of gray. I have found that it is easier to “agree to disagree” if I am unable to find any common ground. If we are talking about one of the life rules that can not be broken than we have to agree to disagree, continuing the argument past that point is, well pointless. If it does go past that it will continue to escalate and most likely things will be said that can’t be unsaid.

And ya know what makes all that worse? EMAIL. Email is such a one dimensional method of communication and it sucks on a good day. There is no way to understand fully the context. Why, because we can not use the tools we were given to discern context. We can not see the furrowed brow, we can not hear the anger welling up we can not insure our intention was actually understood. And with email sometimes the simplest of messages are misunderstood. So we take the worse possible way of communicating and use that to effectively wage an argument. That is crazy if you ask me. Why do we do it then? We will say things in email that we would not say in a million years to the persons face. Is it that we are cowards or chickens? Is it that in the privacy of our living room it is easier to whip up some righteous indignation? It is so easy to get negative in email and write things that can not be unwritten and really hurt folks feelings. Ya know it just dawned on me, email on the computer is also black and white – what to do? I think I will change the default in my Word and Outlook program to apply a gray color to the font instead of black. Silly little thing, but I will know and I guess you will too.

I guess what I am saying is that no matter the colorof things, love it, live it and for petes sake enjoy it - ALL OF IT!

Somehow, our usually small and simple Thanksgiving day feast turned into a banquet for 14.

So Bride and I usually have a small Thanksgiving day feast, we invite some of our single friends over and it is just a casual and intimate evening. Well not this year, I am not sure how, exactly, it happened but this year we are hosting a family party of 14. We are very excited to get to see everyone who is coming, not very often do four generations of my family make it to Florida at Thanksgiving, as a matter of fact it is a first. With just Bride and me in our home, we are not used to having a large group over for dinner, our families are in Texas and Ohio. For the week before Thanksgiving we were both kinda thinking holy cow, we were not even sure how much food to prepare for that many people. I found myself on Butterball.com looking up how much turkey to prepare. We were scouring the internet for recipes that were suited for feeding the masses that could be made by the novice cooks we are. We were freaking out! We have always had a disclaimer at our house, and if you have eaten here you know, if all does nto go well we can always order pizza. I am hopefully optimistic that it will not come to that.

So let me tell you about our traditional Thanksgiving. About 10 years ago we got together with some friends and started frying turkeys and that is the BEST way to eat turkey. There are some drawbacks to frying, those were resolved by my friend’s ingenuous idea. The biggest drawback is cost, the peanut oil to fry one bird make the ordeal not very cost effective. On top of that, you need the frying rig and what to do with the oil when you are done. Anyway the answer my friend came up with was - Fry multiple turkeys. Well how do you do that on Thanksgiving day, ya don’t. The birds are fried the night before. The sheer simplicity of the idea is what made it brilliant. Best I can recall it started with three of us in the driveway the night before. Over the years my friend has turned it into something completely different and WAY better. Just as a point of reference, last year I believe there were nearly 20 turkeys that got fried the night before, we had three pots going. Everyone brings a side dish and the first couple of birds are chopped up and with all the sides we get to have a gigantic Thanksgiving day meal, but we get to have it with friends the night before. Everyone knows Thanksgiving is spent with family so this early start with friends is just wonderful. The fried gobblers are then just warmed up the next day to be eaten with family, yes another Thanksgiving Day feast. I love my Buddy and his Bride for hatching this fabulous plan and hosting the annual event.

So that is how our Thanksgiving turkey is handled. With my family up north and Bride’s out west we usually just invite some friends who have no family in town over for dinner. Some years it is just the two of us. I believe the biggest bird we have had was about 10 pounds and that usually provided enough leftovers to allow us our fix of turkey sandwiches the next day. When Frying turkeys there is a limitation in the size, this limitation is set by the physical size of the cook pots. The larger pots could hold larger birds but it comes back to the cost of the oil and efficiency of the operation. Yes, it is a well orchestrated operation. There are those inside who are preparing the birds, various rubs and injections of flavoring fluids. There are those who are pot tending, that mainly falls to the host and that involves the actual dipping and removing from the hot oil. There are those who maintain the oil temperature by modulating the gas flow and air flow to the burners. And then there are the timers, those who calculate the time each bird is to stay in the oil and lastly there are the timers, those clock watchers who ensure each bird spends the required amount of time frying. It is pulled off with an ease that belies the complexity of it all. I love fried turkey. I have, over the years, spent time on each of the posts, although I have to admit that my favorite is the timer/clock watcher in one.

Sorry, I got carried away with the fried turkey story, my mouth is literally watering right now, I love fried turkey and I love hanging out with my friends frying them. Anyway, we have picked up the meat for this year’s family feast, what seems like a lot of meat to me. We have two turkeys, one is 11.74 pounds and the other is 11.16 pounds and we got an 8 pound spiral cut honey glazed ham. Each person I talk to tells me a different story about how to feed that many people. My Brother in law told me that for his small family they cook a 25 pound bird, I was shocked but I also know he LOVES turkey. Others indicated I needed at least 30 pounds of bird and a ham, others still thought 17 pounds of turkey alone was enough. Well I do know this, I ain’t buying no more meat, if what I have is not enough I will order that pizza. As I sit here writing this I can hardly contain myself, I am very excited about getting to see everyone who is coming. We will be having a relatively traditional menu, turkey, ham, mashed potato and gravy, stuffing, green bean casserole, cornbread, some sort of cranberry something or other and of course the pies, pumpkin, cherry and pecan. I am sure there are some other items that will make it to the menu but that is a good start.

So back to how to deal with 14 people? Bride suggested we contact FEMA and the Red Cross to help us, we, of course, have no adult supervision in our house so how could we possible make this work. Bride and I have 2 small tables, each seats four, always seemed big enough with just the two of us. After considering how to get 14 in here and after a friend suggested, "Start with enough chairs! Roll with the rest...." I decided I would have to get some tables from work. I spoke to our studio manager and after telling him of my quandary he helped me figure out how many tables I would need and how to arrange them after I drew out our floor plan. I also do not own 14 chairs, he agreed to let me borrow those as well, whew, I was relieved I could at least give everyone a seat without putting someone in a lounge chair out by the pool. I am not sure what I am going to cover them with but I got seating and I got table space, for 14 people. Although there will be 2 tables, one in our dining room and one in the adjacent room that we use as our den. I suppose all the grub will be on the counters and the table in our eat in kitchen. Our initial terror past, we continued preparations and shopping. We have most of the things we need to complete a fabulous meal, and have verified that Papa John’s pizza will deliver on thanksgiving – just in case.

Once the initial terror disappeared we got back to being excited about everyone coming, we will have 4 generations here. I am primed for picture taking! Like I said the guest list includes 4 generations. My Aunt and Uncle, Dad’s Brother and his wife are coming and then there is me and Bride and then my sister and her Husband from our generation. My Sisters Son and his wife and their 2 daughters cover the 4 generations. My Niece will be attending as well as my Nephew and his girlfriend. A local friend will also be joining us. Totaling 14, at least today, if any of our Jacksonville friends want to come over, let me know, I can always get some additional chairs. Bride and I are very excited and can not wait to see everyone. Even though there has been some personal adversity in my life this year, I have A LOT to be thankful for. I am first and foremost thankful that I am able to host a family Thanksgiving this year, our first and hopefully not our last. I am thankful for my family and friends who have helped me cope with the loss of both my parents this year. I feel so blessed and have never been happier that Bride can still tolerate my dumbassedness. I am thankful for all the men and women serving in the military and sad that many of them will not be able to be with their families this Thanksgiving. But mostly I am just thankful that I have been given one more day on this side of the grass.

I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving.

A longer than expected layover in Atlanta on my way to Ohio – AirTran, quite amusing

So, recently I had to make a trip to Ohio, my father passed away and I was on my way to the funeral when I stopped in Atlanta for what was supposed to be a 40 minute layover. That quickly turned into nearly a two hour layover with the craziest airport layover story I have ever heard, so I will share it with ya’ll. The flight left Jacksonville early, 6:20 am, which means I had to be there by 5am, which means we left the house shortly after 4am. Needless to say, I was tired when we got there, my Gate station does not open until 6am so there was no coffee for me. There was a coffee place in the airport so I was able to get a 6 dollar cup of coffee and a 4 dollar banana nut muffin, neither were particularly good but they would sustain life and provide some caffeine. We headed to gate A4 and got settled, the wait was not long and when zone 5 was called we boarded the plane. A Boeing 717-200. The flight to Atlanta was uneventful, all 43 minutes of it and I was able to get some sleep. I knew we had a quick turnaround in Atlanta and was hoping we were at least on the same concourse. Hartsfield International can be an intimidating if you have never been, it is really easy and efficiently laid out though. I like the occasional train ride and even walking between concourses to gander at the art that they always have on display there.

So we get in at gate C7 and our departure gate is C2. Whew, what a relief we will not have to run to our departure gate I remember thinking. We get there and they just call for zone 4 to board, hey that is me so on I go. As I made my way down the aisle in the plane, I was struck by the fact there is no row B. The seats were A, C, D, E and F. I found out that they call that “providing only one middle seat per row” and understand that part of it for the end user perspective. I mean less middle seats for the airline to try to sell, I mean come on – everyone hates the little tiny cramped middle seat. What I could not understand was the naming convention, A, C, D, E and F. I would later find out that it has nothing to do with the plane but everything to do with the reservation system. Seat A is always a window seat, seat C is always an aisle seat and seat B is always a middle seat, I was in seat C on the aisle and Niece was in A by the window. Anyway, we are sitting on the plane, it is almost completely loaded and I notice that the woman one row up and on the opposite side aisle seat has a nervousness about her. Squirming in the seat, nervously looking around and having what I swear was a sheen of perspiration on her forehead, she looked vaclempt, which means she was expressing anguish over some particular situation. Great I remember thinking, what are the little old ladies now terrorists? I remember making the argument on numerous occasions that little old ladies should not have to suffer the indignities of the preflight security checks. Now I have proof I was WRONG.

The next thing I know she is talking with the flight attendant in hushed tones, believe me I was trying to make out what they were saying. If she was a terrorist, I was ready to use my composition pad and ink pen to take her out! I got nothing and the flight attendant walked up front. A few minutes later, the captain of the plane is making his way back to seat 26D. Again with the hushed tones and I could still not make out what they were saying. I remember watching an episode of MacGyver in which he used a gum wrapper as the solution to an extraordinary problem so I pulled out my gum and started chewing a piece. As they were finishing their conversation I was ready to leap into action to save the plane, I then heard what they were talking about, she had seen a mouse under her seat. A mouse, I remember thinking - so what. But since that mouse did not pay for a ticket they were not leaving the Atlanta airport with this stowaway. Well you can imagine that this news made its way towards the front and towards the read of the aircraft at the speed the plane was capable of flying - at full throttle. It was amusing for me to watch, hushed whispers, row by row and people looking around and shuffling back and forth in their seats. I thought, if he comes through my row I would just step on him and we would be on our way.

Well before long, there were three employees of the service used to clean the plane, SkyClean. One had a little broom about 4 inches wide, one had a dustpan and one had a stick. I thought to myself, this is going to be fun to watch and guess what, it was. Three grown men, lying on the floor, looking under the seats, all of which were full of passengers. The backs of their overalls emblazoned with “SkyClean” and under that their motto “plane clean”. I remember thinking, not so “plane clean” if we have mice on board. Well as these three very dedicated employees were trying to look for the mouse it turned into what I thought resembled a game of demented “whack a mole” either that or the plane was infested with mice. One person would squeal and jump up in the front of the plane, the next second someone in the rear on the other side would squeal and jump up and the next thing ya know all over the plane people were squealing and jumping up. Most of them obviously just thinking that something touched their leg or wherever else they thought they might have felt it. What started out as amusing slowly turned into the ridiculous, here we were, 35 minutes later still playing games with a mouse. Don’t get me wrong for the first 10-15 it was very funny but then the novelty wore off and I just wanted to depart so the folks picking us up in Ohio would not have to wait extra time. After a good 45 minutes I heard one of the SkyClean guys mumble “I have a college degree and here I am crawling around on a plane looking for a mouse”. And with that he got up and said “that’s it were done and you will have to fly with him” and the three of them departed the plane, never to be seen again.

A few moments later, the pilot comes on and tells of a problem with the plane, never once mentioning what everyone already knows, and tells us that we have to deplane. We all shuffle off the plane, thinking that it would be easier to catch the little bugger with all the seats empty. As we are waiting in the gate area I hear folks talking about it with other passengers, it is still rather amusing. I take out my composition pad and start taking some notes so I can remember the highlights of this ordeal. They then tell us we are going to moving to a new gate and getting on a new plane and that they would announce where soon. I am standing by the window looking out at the plane, tail number N312AST, just as an F150 pulls up under the walkway to the plane. I thought, here come the reinforcements. I then got to wondering about where that little guy came from. The Atlanta airport is not really a place that is conducive to mice. I mean I do not know how many acres of tarmac there are but there are just not a lot of places for a field mouse to live and play. Unless there were city mice, able to live among the concrete, steel and buildings as well as ducking fast moving aircraft ranging from the smallest up the larger 747’s. So where did he come from, I heard mummers in the crowd that he may have come in with the food carts. The food carts, they do not serve food on the flight from Atlanta to Dayton Ohio, we would be lucky to get peanuts, of which I will never eat on a plane again. No idea and I thought, speculating how he got there would not end with a warm fuzzy feeling for me so I dropped the thinking about it.

So as I was looking out the window I see the bags being unloaded from the cargo holds, down they came on a conveyor belt to a waiting tow motor driven baggage train. All of the sudden I see a bag, one that looks suspiciously like mine, drop from the plane and bounce onto the tarmac. I asked those around me if they saw that, to which I got a resounding yes. I was reminded why I usually FedEx my bags ahead of me on a trip. My thinking on that is if you have to pay for a bag, who is least likely to lose it, FedEx or AirTran? Due to the short notice for this flight I did not have the time to Fedex them. Anyway an AirTran employee runs over and grabs the bag, just as he is ready to turn to place the bag on the train he glances up and our eyes meet, he knows he is busted. He quickly tosses the bag in and scurries out of sight. They come over the announcement system and tell us we are moving from gate C2 down to gate C14 and off we go to our new gate. When we get there a different flight is already waiting to board the plane, they are being moved to another gate as well. I listen and laugh as someone from our plane relates the story to someone waiting at this gate, waiting to find out what gate they are going to. Well wouldn’t ya know it after telling this woman the story, including what gate we had come from, the announcement came, those passengers are to report to gate C2. I almost laughed out loud and thought should I tell her the tail number of the mouse infested plane so they would know if they even switched plane – no I thought, no sense in causing hysteria at the Atlanta airport. We boarded and the flight to Dayton was uneventful.

I leave you with one piece of advice friends, when they ask if you want the peanuts – PASS.

Sybok kitty, Lost to kidney failure 11-14-2009

Bride and I have had at least one cat since before we were married. We got Zappa when we moved into our second apartment together in Pasadena Maryland. Sybok was the last in the line of 4, Zappa, Junior, Pike and Sybok. We had Zappa and Junior together and then Junior and Pike together. Later Pike and Sybok. Pike was 14 when we lost him to kidney problems as well, that was 2 and a half years ago. We had talked about getting another kitty after he died but I just could not bring myself to do it. Pike was my kitty, he slept with me on my pillow every night for most of his life and losing him was terrible. When we took Sybok back to the vet yesterday morning he told us it was time and if we waited we would be prolonging his agony and that was not fair. He told us that we had done all we could do for him and even if we were millionaires we would not be able to do any more to save him. That is the second time we have had to euthanize a beloved 4 legged member of the family and as much as it sucks at least they were not suffering an agonizing death. DAMN this sucks, I can’t seem to stop crying thinking about what a great member of our family Sybok was, and on top of that this is the first time since 1989 that we have not had at least one cat.

When we moved into our current home we had only one cat, Pike and we were waiting to get another one until we got into this house. We moved in on our 10th anniversary in September and in November Bride started visiting the SPCA. She went back three times before she told me that she found our next kitty. She told me stories of how his colors complimented our house and how big his feet were. We wanted a big cat and have found that their feet, when kitty’s, seem to be a good indicator of their size when they grow up. We finally went to look and talked about just looking, well of course we picked up Sybok and immediately brought him to our vet for all the tests and shots before bringing him home. After about 4 hours at the Vet’s office he was introduced into our home. It was the day we were going to attend a John Prine Concert at the Florida Theater later that evening. It was a great concert and we rushed home to see how things were going with the animals. When we returned home it was apparent that Sybok was the Alpha male of the house. He was about 10 weeks old and he was the boss over the 4-5 year old cat and the 2 year old dog and he remained boss all the way through his life.

Sybok, weird name huh? Those who are Trekkies already know who that is but for those who are uninitiated, that is also the name of Spock’s brother. Pike was also named after a Trek character and for those who know ya know, for those who don’t, oh well. Pike seemed to tolerate Sybok and there relationship was an odd one, not unlike everyone’s relationship with Sybok. He was a weird assed cat and I loved him for it. Sybok was a great cat and he grew quickly. He was NOT a lap kitty, at all. When he wanted some affection he would come to get it, it mattered little to him what time of the day or night it happened to be. He liked being in the same room as us but never on our laps, never relaxing with us petting him. He would come around and let us pet him and then he would leave. He was the same way with the other animals in the house, especially Newton – our Boston Terrier. He would torment the dog, follow him around and bump into him. He would lull the dog into a false sense of security but licking his face or ears or leg and then CHOMP. He would bite him and the dog would yelp and run away. One of the funniest was when he got a hold the dog’s jowl and when he tried to run Sybok would not let go. You can imagine the hilarity of it, a little cat holding on to the lip of the dog that was bigger than him.

I remember when I first installed my HD projector to shot down in 89” high definition glory, it did not take Sybok long to show us he liked it. We were watching a discovery channel show, Planet Earth, and it was the ones showing birds. When the screen was covered with birds flying to God knows where Sybok came flying, literally, out of now where at the screen in an attempt to catch him some birds. After the initial attack, he realized they were not real but he would site on the table in front of the screen and just watch. Depending on the action he would stretch up to paw the screen, just to verify once again that it was not real. I wished I had a camcorder, that would have been a perfect commercial advertising the realistic clarity of high definition television. This is so hard to write out, I vacillate between crying and laughing, I miss my kitty so much. He was a great cat and he lived out a great life, not as long as I wanted but he gave us 9 years of happiness. We gave him 9 years of spoiled rotten existence, we did not get animals to show folks what great disciplinarians we were, we got them to spoil them and that is what we did.

I remember once when he was a kitty him and Pike got out, they pushed a screen out while we were taking a nap. When I got up I started freaking out because I could not find them. I saw the one of the screens ajar and my heart sunk, I went to the window and there they were. Both of them just sitting outside the window, the look on their faces was one of shock. It was as if the moment they went from the air conditioned comfort to the Florida heat the realization set in. HOLY SHIT it is hot, let’s go back in, but the screen flopped back and would not allow it. So there they sat, staring at the window, no doubt trying to figure out how to get back in. After getting them both back inside I knew that they never, ever wanted to go out again. Even when the door was left ajar, neither of them ever walked outside. They knew where the good life was and had zero interest in fending for themselves in the wild. Sybok was a great cat, I miss him. He would, EVERY night, come into the bedroom after we got into bed. He required about 5 minutes of loving before we went to sleep, every night. It was really weird because he did it every night and it was right after we got into bed. He would come up on my side and demand some loving. I would pet him and he would bite at my fingers and we had our good nights, every night. Every night that is except the last 2 nights, he was feeling so puny he sat under the table in the kitchen or the coffee table in the living room. I am not looking forward to going to bed tonight, I may sleep on the couch to avoid the inevitable.

Speaking of the bed he had another thing he loved to do. Whenever we were making the bed he would run under the covers as we flipped them over the mattress. Once we were able to get the bed made and leave he would, somehow dig his way under the covers and crawl to the middle of the bed, nothing more than a lump under the covers. He would sleep there, in the middle of the bed, under the covers for hours. It was amazing because we never figured out how he got in there. None of the covers were skewed, nothing out of place. It appeared that he was there when we made the bed. I remember once coming home, he would always come to the door from the garage to see who was coming home. One time as I walked by the fridge I see him, sitting up there and he takes a swat at me. Not sure what he was doing up there or how he got there for that matter but there he was. He did not do that ever again that I can remember.

I know there are kitty’s in our future, I just do not know when. The sting of loosing Pike still hurt and now with Sybok gone I feel lost, no cat for the first time in A LONG time. Maybe two kittens, maybe one, maybe soon, maybe it might take a while. I miss my kitty and found myself crying through writing most of this but he is not suffering and he lead a damn fine spoiled life. Here’s to you Sybok

Veterans day and Fox Sports – WHAT?

I first want to thank EVERY one of the men and women who are now serving and have ever served in the military of this great country, from the bottom of my heart - Thank you.

So when I look at Veterans Day lately I see a day that means little to most, I am not sure how I feel about that. I was watching the Fox football pregame this past weekend and Curt Menefee, Terry Bradshaw, Howie Long, Michael Strahan and Jimmy Johnson and Jay Glazer did the pregame from Afghanistan with the troops. I do however, know how I feel about that! Having been deployed I know it is AWAYS nice to see other Americans, let alone a performer or even a pregame football show host, but…….. I wonder about the sincerity of the performance. I do not know, and probably never will know if that was their idea or the network, trying to drum up ratings by looking patriotic. Do not get me wrong, it is a great thing ANYTIME the media can show, even in a controlled and narrow view, what America’s military men and women have to go through, it was a GREAT thing to see the troops happy. I am glad that the troops enjoyed it, that is the way it appeared anyway and anything that makes them feel good, about anything is GOOD by me. Fox Sports Chairman David Hill said, “Our men and women in the military put themselves in harm's way to protect everything we hold dear, and none more so than those who are stationed in the Middle East.” “It is our privilege and honor to take Fox NFL Sunday to them in November, right before Veterans Day. Amidst the fun and football, it's our hope to showcase the dedication of these men and women who have to defend a lot more than the wildcat.” DAMN RIGHT David, it is your privilege to be allowed to take your silly football show to our troops serving in Afghanistan.

A New York Times article mentioned that, “it’s too bad Bob Hope isn’t part of the Fox NFL Sunday crew”. I would hope that Bob Hope might have been able to do something with Sunday’s program, broadcast from Bagram Air Field in Afghanistan. A program, glorifying wanna be warriors and their game, yes football is a game to the these real life warriors. This pregame show was playing to a crowd of real fighting men and women locked in an eight-year-old conflict, a real war with real consequences! One can only imagine the disdain Bob Hope might have had for such blatant attempt at comparing football players to members of our military, especially ones serving in an actual war zone. The hosts were laughing and yucking it up, while wearing some facsimile of a uniform, I was not happy – AT ALL. Jokes and comparisons like “You grunts think you’re the only ones worried about dodging bullets?” one said. “Heck, Plaxico Burress gets nervous every time he sticks his hand in his pocket. You flyboys and gals think you’re taking risks? Michael Vick got shot down in a dogfight, and he never even left the ground.” They are not worthy of even sitting in the same room as our fighting men and women is all I could think as I watched this ridiculous show of asinine behavior by men pretending to care. Could not these television star dunder heads taken a couple of hours of sensitivity training, comparing Plaxico Burress and Michael Vick to these hero’s literally turns my stomach, especially since nearly 1000 Americans have actually died in that god forsaken country. While Sunday’s show was a nice gesture by Fox in advance of Veterans Day and they were surely well intentioned but for me - it was a disgrace. The complete and utter stupidity and insensitivity of the people who host that show was worse than a carnival act. Like the Times article said, by the end of the two-hour broadcast a visitor from another planet might easily have concluded that football and warfare were the same thing – SHAME ON YOU FOX SPORTS!

I guess, somehow, I am somewhat jaded by the whole thing, I DO NOT think we should be in Afghanistan or Iraq. I sickens me that young men and women are dying in a far away land and I still can not figure out the what for. Hell there is not even oil in Afghanistan, their cash crop is poppies – which we should not be fighting for. I want you to think about that for a minute. What is the reason we are there? I have even asked my Nephew, who has been in Iraq as a Marine during the invasion and later, for the second time, in the Coast Guard. He was able to describe the missions of the individual units but was unable to sufficiently explain the overall mission, at least in a way my simplistic mind could understand. What is the goal of being in Afghanistan? If you know, please tell me. Maybe it is to bring stability to the region, OK say it is, why and how did that become our problem. If they want to decimate their neighbors, why is it incumbent upon us to police the area? I am a life long Republican and for the first time in my life I voted for a Democrat in the last presidential election – let me tell you why. I was very upset at my offerings, on both sides really but I was upset that I was forced into being a one issue constituent. My one issue was getting our fighting men and women out of harms way – out of Iraq and out of Afghanistan. The current resident of 1600 Pennsylvania avenue talked a good talk about bringing the troops home, much better than the Republican candidate. He, while on the campaign trail, seemed to always be defending his statement that U.S. troops could spend "maybe 100" years in Iraq -- saying he was referring to a military presence similar to what the nation already has in places like Japan, Germany and South Korea. Dude, my Mom used to say, just because someone else is doing it does not make it right and if they jumped off a bridge would you follow them. WHY ARE WE THERE? Well, as evidenced by the fact we are still in Iraq and might be expanding the forces in Afghanistan the guy who got elected was full of shit on that subject, or more likely he just misunderstood the power of the military industrial complex.

I feel very passionately about our military, they should not be used as pawns in some global political game. When they are, and I think they are, it pisses me off. While in the Navy I enjoyed a lot of safety from any actual fighting. I served on a Spruance class Destroyer and later on an Aegis Cruiser, both of which were more than capable of defending themselves so I never felt the anxiety that accompanies the lead up to battle, I can not imagine what that must be like. But I do recognize that it exists and it breaks my heart that some of our fighting men and women have to feel it, ever and especially in the current conflicts. My heart goes out to each and every member of the military and, AND the families left behind to deal with the day to day mundane task of living life without their spouse, mother, father, son or daughter. They live with anxiety as well, maybe even more than the folks who are in theater. I can not even imagine the feelings when a chaplain shows up to the door to tell you your loved one has been killed – FOR WHAT!! I know the military is still a 100% volunteer organization and that speaks countless volumes about the men and women serving, I am proud of each and every one of them. They all want to be doing this work for the country, the shittiest of work, for us, while we sit back and watch our big screen TV’s and watch the dumbasses on Fox sports degrade them, and in my humble opinion that is what they did.

I for one want to send my heart felt appreciation to every member of our military, at home and abroad. I think we owe them that much and much more.  Maybe you should write your federal representative and ask them, why are we there and see if you can get an answer that satisfies you and more importantly justifies even one American military members life. Let alone the 4,359 who have died in Iraq and the 916 who have died in Afghanistan. Those numbers DO NOT take into account the 31,557 who were injured, all manner of injuries from broken bones to missing limbs and missing eyes and loss of hearing and the silent, mostly unreported injury, the emotional damage that war ALWAYS imposes on its victims. Those are just the American casualty and injury numbers (according to http://www.antiwar.com/casualties/). That is not including the estimate of over 100,000 other HUMAN lives that were unlucky enough to be Iraqi or Afghani that have been lost on what appears to me to be nothing but cattle feed for the private companies who are profiting wildly from these misdirected military actions abroad.

I am glad our military men and women got a reprieve from their daily drudgery while the football show visited and I hope they enjoyed it. Instead of sending sports announcers to see them why don’t we bring them home? Bring them home and buy each one of them a big screen LCD so they can watch the game on their own television, if they had those two choices which do you think they would prefer? Maybe I am reading something into that show that was not there but, I cannot help how I feel and that is how I felt.

God Bless you, each and every one of you serving our Country in the military you and your families are and will continue to be in my prayers!

The sunrise explained step by step, I wrote this in my notebook the day before I got the call about my dad

So I get to the beach when it is still dark out, at least an hour and a half before the actual sunrise. The actual sunrise is actually sort of anticlimactic in my humble opinion. The hour and a half that leads up to the sunrise is actually where the good stuff is at. I also take my own plastic Adirondack style chair, I hate sitting on the cold sand. Since we have gotten the little Nikon CoolPix S220 I also take that with me, along with the tripod. This camera has a setting that allows it to automatically take a shot every 30 seconds until you stop it. That is great for the time lapse videos I post after watching them. So right now the sunrise is happening about 7:30 so I am leaving the house about 5:45, this leaves me time to stop and get a coffee at the Gate Station and still make it the beach by 6:15am. It has been cold lately so I am bundled up in sweats and hoody and gloves, quite a sight I am sure. I pack up, chair balanced on my right shoulder, tripod with camera mounted and flash light (Maglight for protection) are in my right hand and my nectar of the gods is in my left hand. My phone and wallet and in my pockets and my composition book is tucked into the back of my pants. Like I said, quite a site I am sure but what do I care.

So this oratory is actually about the sunrise on Saturday morning, when it was coldest and cloudiest. I get out to my spot, sit my coffee down and then drop my chair. I set up the camera on the tripod about 10 feet away and get it started taking pictures automatically. Like the Ron Popeil line for some cooking gadget he used to hock, set it and forget it. I then get my chair situated, I dig the back legs in a bit because I like the chair to be raked back even more than the plastic Adirondack style already offers. This also puts me closer to the ground so that when I make a sand cup holder for my coffee, it is very close to my right hand, a very important detail I might add. I sit close to the reeds or saw grass whichever you want to call them, I had someone sneak up on me from behind once so I sit where that would be very difficult to do. Call me a pansy if you must but you never know what kind of crazy might be lurking around out there. So once I am settled in I start to clear my mind of all the non relevant things, the drive out and whether there is anyone lurking. That took about 5 minutes, in which time I was thoroughly enjoying my coffee, and wondering why I did not pick up two cups today with as cold as it is.

So there I sit in my quiet solitude, nothing but me, the sand, the crashing waves in the darkness. I find it very relaxing and invigorating. So there was only a sliver of moon to provide any light so it was really dark, I do know from my camera that the first light it saw was at 5:37. That camera uses the time and date for the file names of the pictures. Up to this time I had seen 2 folks, one running and one walking, I do not think either saw me sitting up by the dunes. As is starts to get light I start to notice some of my surroundings in a bit more detail. I can feel the wind is whipping down the beach, coming out of the northeast. With it, I see it brings little blobs of sea foam. With the wind blowing this hard, it is whipping the ocean into a frothing monster. The sea foam would dislodge and zoom across the smooth sand going very fast, it would then collide with the rougher sand that was not smoothed by the surf and then start to slow and degrade into nothingness. I remember thinking that I was not sure what caused sea foam to be created in the first place and thought I would look that up when I got home. I found that it is actually the remains of colonies of phytoplankton. As they mature, they form globular colonies. When these colonies die and are picked up by the wind they form the foam you see washing up on the shore – WHO KNEW THAT?

So with some light I could now see the cloud cover was low and very grey, I started to wonder if I would get wet this morning. As the earth rotated at nearly 17 miles per minute it quickly revealed I was not alone on the beach. There were many, many little crabs scurrying around, digging the holes that would protect them during the heat of the day. I watch in amazement as “panfry” furiously digs into the sand, I nicknamed him panfry – it that so wrong? I also learned panfry had another trick up his sleeve. Now old panfry’s eyes stick straight up off his head and he can lean them over, independently of each other, to clean them. That sounds somewhat normal now I am typing it but – that is crazy to watch with your own eyes – truly a magical moment of nature. As panfry gets all dug in I go about watching the grey overcast sky ad it lightens up. It was amazing, the clouds began to thin and part, right above my head. It was like an old bear trap opening to the west on one side and the east on the other. The clouds over my head and to my rear receded to the west and the clouds above and in front of me receded to the east and all the sudden, the splendor of a blanket of stars was revealed to me in a very dramatic fashion. One minute clouds so thick, low and grey I thought I could touch them, the next a sky filled with twinkling stars – how cool it was!

As the clouds receded and the sun continued its progression in the sky I start to notice other things. Like every morning, the little birds start showing up. I am not positive what kind of birds they are, sand pipers I think, but they are first of the flighted to show, every morning. I say flighted in the loosest terms, I have seen them fly but I believe they prefer to walk and walk they do my friends. They are scampering about looking for whatever little bits of food have been washed up on the shore. They walk really fast, no I mean REALLY fast! They can cover ground at an incredible rate, moving faster than any Olympian ever dreamed of running. They are fun to watch, you can not even see their legs moving, only them, zooming along and then they stop, peck on the sand, go again. Hilarious I tell ya. It is about this time that I start to contemplate the waves. Their never ending procession towards the beach to crash violently to a watery end, delivering food for the little birdies. Their progression is as constant as the march of time, time that seems to be slipping away, falling through our fingers like the sand on the beach. It reminds me how important it is to do and say the things we want to say and do, who knows when our hour glass is going to run out of sand. Some folks fear the reminder that our time is limited, me I think Soren, from the Star Trek movie said it best, time is the fire in which we burn. We have a supply of fuel and we had better live like we mean it and at least try to get it all done before that fire goes out because when that happens, our time is up.

The sky continues to lighten and the next of the flighted begin to arrive, the rat with wings, or seagulls as so many like to call them. They make their presence known with the constant squawking, them and waves go hand in hand when you go to the beach. They are inseparable, at least after the sun comes up. Next are the pelicans, the larger of the morning flighted ones. One thing I have never found is why they always seem to fly from the north to the south. I have never seen one going from south to north as long as I have been coming out to the beach in this location. I can find no information that explains it either, I suppose that will continue to be one of the great imponderables of my life. It is now that it is light enough to see most everything and everyone on the beach. I notice the piles of seaweed laying around everywhere, the weather has ripped it from it mooring, beat it into a wet spinach consistency and scattered it all over the beach, poor seaweed. By this time my friend Roy is back from his walk, has retrieved his chair, and joined me to see the sun come up. It was still pretty cloudy but I was sure we would see it.

Across the horizon was a wall of clouds with a very flat top, it looked like a giant grey wall that went from horizon to horizon. For those who have ever been to Berlin, before the wall came down, it reminded me of that. East Berlin was the communist side and it was very drab and grey, when looking across from the west it appeared very dreary. The west on the other hand was clean and shiny and as I looked at this cloud bank this side appeared very dreary and over the wall of clouds I could tell the sun was back there. Blue sky’s and white puffy clouds all over the place. When the sun popped over the clouds it provided instantaneous warmth, warmth I could feel on my face. I remember thinking the residents of east Berlin must have felt a similar warmth when the Berlin wall came down. I sat and basked in the glory of this beautiful day for about another half an hour and then was headed on home. Another morning spent purging my mental storage facilities of all the gunk that builds up – Beautiful!

The unenviable task of cleaning out a parent’s place, after they die, let me tell you - it sucks!

I have now lost both parents, but with Mom we did not have to clean out her place, she left behind a husband. With Dad it was different, he was by himself and I had no idea what thoughts the seemingly simple task of cleaning out an apartment would bring. The task was scheduled for early AM the day after Dad’s funeral, I was not looking forward to it – at all. Even when we first walked in I got an eerie feeling, like we were violating his privacy. Here we were going through his things, all of his things and it made me ponder for a moment what someone will conclude when my things are gone through. I was having weird feelings about this for sure. Dad was a private person, not many people really knew him and even on this day, I was learning more about him. He had been living in this apartment less than 3 years so I knew everything here was brought here, nothing had been lingering or tucked away in a corner and forgotten years ago. It was all here because he brought it here with him when he moved here. I was convinced before, but am even more so now, that Dad was one of those people that no one could never truly know, not in a meaningful way anyhow.

As we divvied up the duties and got to our tasks it all seemed a bit surreal to me, I was going through his drawers. Before you think something weird, he had this cabinet with drawers that had traveled with him for quite some time and that is where he kept his stuff. His papers, his others papers, little items that he collected through time. He kept his rolodex on top, along with his little TV and other miscellaneous items. My sister was in the kitchen, cleaning out the cupboards and refrigerator, my Brother in law was moving heavy things out, the two mobility carts, a few boxes of tools and other larger items. My Nephew and his wife were going through the bedroom and bathroom. We had decided that all the clothes would be donated to the Vets and all the kitchen items, save a new coffee pot, would be donated back to Rotary Manner, the place where Dad lived out his last years. We had boxes for stuff we were keeping, we had white bags for trash and even bigger black bags for the items that would be donated. I remember thinking it seemed like a military operation, there were X number of tasks that needed to be completed and there were X number of people to complete said tasks and even though it was never mentioned it seemed like we had X number of hours to complete the task. Weird I tell ya.

As I started through the drawers I mostly found paper work, none of which would be thrown away, it would be boxed up to be examined later. I knew that later review would be left to my Sister, in some way I was glad, in another way I felt guilty leaving it for her to deal with. There were all manner of things in those drawers, I found my Uncle’s dog tags and then I found my own. I do not even remember giving them to Dad but there they were, in his drawers. I again got the weird feeling I was invading Dad’s privacy, I would never dream of going through his drawers when he was alive. As I rummaged through the bits of his life, the life he collected, in his drawers I kept thinking how weird this was. With each new item I kept asking myself, what an odd thing to keep, what meaning could this possible hold for Dad. I knew that each and every item here had some meaning, reminded him of some experience or it may have been something he just liked. I tried to pick which category each item was in as I picked through it and placed in its appropriate location. These things were Dad’s things and each had meaning, I wish in some way that I knew the meaning of each, in another way I am glad I don’t know the meaning. I found all manner of what seemed to me to be worthless junk, a box of Revco band aids I thought was holding something other than band aids – nope it held band aids so old that the glue had long ago disappeared and the plastic strips themselves were disintegrating, this was really weird. After the band aids I had to take a break, I went out the common areas behind the building and sat in the swing. It was an OK day, kind of overcast, gray and chilly. I remember looking at a rose bush that had one bloom on it, here it is.

That rose was the only thing that looked like it was living, the trees were all shedding their leaves, the grass appeared to be all done growing and most things looked like they were getting ready for the winter hibernation. I could not get past my feeling about these various items, they all meant something to Dad, but what and why was this important to me. It all seemed so arbitrary to me, keep this item, toss this item in the trash, donate this item to the Vet’s. Weird stuff I am here to tell ya. I convinced myself I would never do this again, for anyone. It took a big emotional toll on me. I was able to fill up the lid of a puzzle box with items that I wanted to keep, nothing of value just some items that I remember him using or liking. The oddest item was a camera, Dad rarely was even in photo’s and I never saw Dad take a picture in my life. Yet here was a camera I later learned was the Cadillac in German camera engineering, purchased in 1954 when he was serving in the army. Who knew!

After the place was empty and everyone had headed downstairs I stayed behind, I just wanted to take a mental image of the place. It was very odd being here in the first place but now it was empty it was really weird. As I looked out the third floor window I found myself staring at the remains of a plastic bag that was stuck in the top of the tree outside his window. My Sister told me that he hated that bag and gave the place no end of grief about getting it removed. It was torn and tattered and only remnants of it remained but it was still there, taunting Dad even in death I remember thinking. As I turned, the walls looked stark, little hooks remaining where pictures and puzzles once hung. The walls were yellowed, the contrast of white where something was protecting the paint was creepy. It reminded of the scene from the Grinch, after he stole everything from whoville, nothing remained, not even a mouse. I walked into the bedroom, the mattress was stripped of all the linens, the dresser was empty as was the closet. One of the dresser drawers was not closed, just sitting there – crooked. I straightened it and pushed it to as well as picked up the three hangers laying on the floor in and hung them in the closet. In the kitchen all the dishes, pots, pans and utensils were sitting there, all lined up like you might see them at a yard sale. They were ready to picked up by “Ducktape” as Dad called him, I do not even know his real name. He is the building maintenance man I believe and he donated some of these items to Dad when he moved in. Seemed only right that we add to the collection and donate them back to whoever may need them next.

As I stood there staring around the place I was struck by the smell. I swear I could make out smells from his places in St. Paris and Millerstown. You know the smell I am talking about, we whisper about it and call it the old people smell and it is more common than we care to admit, I think anyway. As I stood there I realized what that smell is, it is the accumulation of a life time of events and things. A beer spilled on that chair, a cigarette burn on the table and just years of decay. I wandered into the bathroom, it was bare, except for the plastic shower chair. I stared around and as I looked in the mirror I wondered, what will my end be like. I peed, flushed, turned out the light and closed the door. As a locked the door and walked out of the apartment, not Dad’s apartment anymore, I was struck by the length and darkness of the hallway to the elevator. As I walked out, I pondered if this is what we all have waiting for us, this walk down a long dark hallway. I am not sure that the death of both my parents in the same year has sunk in yet and have no idea what the effect will be when it does but at that moment, I felt I like I needed a shower.

Kmart is the winner in the race for Christmas goodies!

It seems odd to me that I have not even picked up the makings of pumpkin pie yet and we are getting hit with ads for Christmas shopping already. When I first saw the ad a couple of weeks ago it was still 2 months away, or should I say lay away. Kmart, I believe is the only store left that does lay away – or at least they are the only ones who advertise that they do. They are using the same tired commmercial from last year but... Seems the apex of Christmas now is what they call Black Friday, whatever that means. I know it is the day after thanksgiving and that most retailers make most of their annual profits during that time. I know and understand the need for them to bombard us with advertisements enticing us to visit their store and spend, spend, spend. Well this year, I fear, will be an abysmal one for the retailers. Why, because it has been an abysmal year for us consumers. We have no money and for nearly 30 million Americans there is not even a job. It seems to me that retailers are mocking us, mocking us with advertisings of holiday cheer. In all actuality, probably more folks have little to none of the holiday cheer this year.

Seems somehow in our society we have completely forgotten what Christmas is all about. It really had nothing to do with how much crap we can buy each other, it had nothing to do with the endless Christmas specials on television, although I love the 24 hour run of “A Christmas Story” on TNT. It is not about the fabulous parades through Manhattan and it is not about Rudolph and his merry band of reindeer friends. It is not about stories of a fat man who sneaks into our houses through the chimney. Christmas is about the birth of Christ. I am not sure how, over the years, it has been high jacked and turned into the biggest display of consumerism in the world. I suppose the advertising firms have had a little to do with that, folks like, Don Draper, from the AMC Network’s hit show, Mad Men. It makes me wonder, what is Christmas, really? Christmas in modern America has far more to do with materialism and consumerism than anything else. I think there are many meanings to the season ranging from traditional meanings to religious meanings, but I am almost convinced there is no real meaning anymore. The meaning of Christmas is, and should be, whatever people celebrating decide to assign to it. If folks decide to give it a religious meaning, it will be a religious holiday for them. If other folks assign to the day other meanings, such as gifts and family getting together then it will have those meanings instead. And I think either one is fine.

The process of removing the religious meanings began a long time ago and I am convinced it is too late to turn back the clock now. Things like trees and lights and gifts, and everything else that are attached to it now are far more a part of the Christmas traditions than any of the religious meanings. The earliest reference to being encouraged to spend, spend, spend at Christmas time was, surprisingly enough, from the US government. The image below is based upon a World War II poster encouraging soldiers to buy war bonds as Christmas gifts, but here it has been doctored up. Santa is holding up a "past due" bill notice which seems very appropriate to how people have been indoctrinated to spend, spend, spend during the holidays with no real understanding of what happens if one of the family members becomes unemployed, or underemployed.

The real message that is beaten into us, from a very young age, is to buy, spend, and consume, it is all about economics and has little to do really with anything religious or Christian, other than we can buy manger scenes with a little fiberglass baby Jesus. What is wrong with that picture?

One of the things I hate the most during this time of year are the endless advertising for diamonds. When did they become forever is one question that has not been sufficiently explained to me. Those stupid commercials are designed to make a husband feel like crap if he cannot provide his bride a stunning array of diamond jewelry. They are well designed and very targeted, the older I get the more they seem to be speaking directly to me. The older we get the more affluent we are supposed to be so the ads are targeted specifically for us. Every kiss begins with Kay my ass! I have had A LOT of kisses and never once did they begin with Kay, they may very well end with Kay but rarely do they begin with Kay. How many of you folks have ever bought a car and put a bow on it for the bride at Christmas? If we are to believe the hype, that is a pretty normal thing to have happen. Yeah right, what world do they live in. There are the same targeted advertisements for Bride as well, all manner of the latest and greatest power tools that no man could possibly do without. I know a lot of people who quite frankly should not have or be allowed to play with power tools. And I mean come on, how often is a typical homeowner going to need a 24 volt 200 dollar cordless drill motor?

This Christmas season I think we will be inundated, with retailers most likely freaking out about lackluster profits which will force them, undoubtedly, to pour a ton of money into this, their most profitable time of the year. I think they would be better off not spending all that money, not many people have extra money to spend right now. I know the recession is over, I saw it on TV, but for us normal folk, it aint over and I do not think the fat lady has even started to warm up yet. According the United States Department of labor web site the national unemployment rate rose to 9.8 percent in September, up 0.1 percentage point from August and 3.6 points from September 2008 so I think Christmas will be a hard sell this year. Keep your eyes open for some very creative ads, ones that will pull on your heartstrings and make you feel absolutely guilty if you do not provide your loved ones with whatever they are hocking. I suppose Kmart is not so bad in the grand scheme, by advertising the layaway program they are encouraging folks to stop spending money they do not have. I guess for me, for so many reasons, it is like my friend Tom said in his blog, Everything about the holiday has become mundanely predictable.

October 24th was a terrible ending to what was otherwise a GREAT week.

I took the week of October 19th off, partly because I had to use some vacation or risk losing it and partly because I really needed a break from work. We were not going to go anywhere, this was my time, my time to perform a brain douche, as one friend so aptly put it. I was not going to just lie around and be a couch potato either, I decided I was going to do something every one of the days off. Each one started with watching the sunrise at the beach, and let me tell ya - that is a great way to start the day. I find very calming, it has always helped me get centered and balanced. When I started my week off, I had no idea that before the week was out I would be in Ohio and have another week of vacation. I cannot even remember the last time I was able to take 2 weeks straight. As bad as that was I found I was able to use the two weeks to my mental advantage and went back to work today refreshed and invigorated. I had laid out my days starting with Monday, the Saturday and Sunday were spent doing my normal weekend things.

Day 1 – I spent day one doing nothing but cloud watching. I laid on a lounge chair by my pool, on three separate occasions I spent no less than 2 hours just laying on my back looking at the clouds. I saw all manner of things in the clouds. I saw fish, I saw dogs, I saw gargoyles and I saw ancient wooden sailing ships. Mainly I just pondered a lot. I thought about my childhood on Collins road, how simple life was there, at least through my child eyes. We spent a lot of time outside when we were kids, Mom would not allow us in the house. We played in the creek that was close and we played in the barn that was even closer. We played a lot, no matter the place. We always spent time looking at the clouds for shapes that we could identify and tell a story about. I do not have many, if any, bad memories from this time in my life. Looking back that is a testament to my Mom, she could put a positive spin on ANYTHING. She once even had us build tents in the kitchen while we huddled around the stove because it used propane but we had no heating oil. Now any parent who can make nearly freezing to death into a game to play with their kids is a stellar parent.

Day 2 – I spent the day visiting neighborhoods and nurseries to gaze upon the simple beauty of the various foliage that surrounds us. I visited 5 nurseries and drove around in at least 15 different neighborhoods. I took many pictures, in one case I had stopped the car and was taking pictures of some flowers when the homeowner came out. It was an awkward moment but after explaining that I loved his floral bouquet and was planning an attempt at replicating it in my yard his anxiety subsided. Mainly I just pondered a lot. I thought about my childhood on Collins road. We always had a garden, we had apple trees and pear trees, we had peach trees and a rhubarb patch. We had strawberries and blackberries and even some blueberries close by. We had a gigantic barn and LOTS of trees, large and small. We were in nature a lot, around the house, in the cornfields and soybean fields. We played in a creek that was more of a drainage ditch from the surrounding fields and I think there was a natural spring that feed it somewhere out in Ira Painter’s field. We spent a lot of time in nature for sure.

Day 3 – I spent wandering around several tool stores. My Bride does not understand when I do this but when I get time, I love to do it. Mainly I just pondered a lot. I have always been fascinated with tools, just about any tools really. Anything that we can dream up to help us make or repair something else is a piece of art to me. Talk about the pinnacle of creativeness, to me it does not get any better than that. I look at tools, like a crows foot wrench, and can see exactly why someone designed it the way it is. They have a very specific purpose and just by looking at them, you can tell what it is. I am fascinated by the electronic repair tools as well, an oscilloscope or a spectrum analyzer for measuring amplitude verses time and frequency verses amplitude, respectively. I am fascinated with the creativity of the ergonomic movement in the design of power tools and even the simple hammer. I saw a hammer that has a tuning fork built into the handle, this AntiVibe technology minimizes vibration and shock at impact, and when you couple that with the Patented torsion control grip technology and the Magnetic Nail Start feature it make the simple hammer quite a bit more, doesn’t it. When I have time to just stare and tools it sparks my creative juices as well, what could I do with that cool new tool or how could I use this nifty gadget to help make some other mundane task easier. I love the tools and the stores that sell them.

Day 4 I spent toy store roaming and have already written an oratory about that and day 5 was spent meandering various city parks here in Jacksonville and I plan on writing about that day in an individual oratory later. On Saturday, which was to be day 6, I planned on writing about the previous 5 days of relaxation and what effect they had on me. Day 6 turned out to be quite a different day than I had planned and the outcome of that day in turn drastically changed my day 7. I was at the beach, to watch the sunrise again. This was my 7th day in a row to watch the spectacle and this day was magnificent in its glory. I was enjoying it with my friends Roy and Bruce and for some reason, before the sun came up, I had to go the restroom, I have never done that before. I walked up the convenience store a couple of blocks away and during my return trip is when my sister first called me about Dad, it was 7:29am. She told me they were at the hospital in our small hometown and they needed to transport him to a larger, better-equipped hospital in the next town over. In order to transport him they would need to sedate him and there was a distinct possibility that sedating him would kill him. My Sister was looking for my input. Well thank god I was almost back to the beach where there were bench’s because my knees just about gave out on me and I literally fell onto the bench to listen to her tell me the story.

We decided that we had to try to get him to the larger hospital and they were now on their way. I had a bad feeling, I am not sure if I could hear something different in my Sister’s voice or what but I just had a bad feeling about this one. Dad seemed to have 9 lives, he had been through a great number of issues that most likely would have killed anyone else. They were off to Springfield and she would call me when they had more news. So there I was, sitting on the bench leading to the beach – shell shocked really. I am not sure why I left the beach but I was glad I did, I would not have wanted to receive that news sitting with my friends watching the sunrise. I stayed at the beach quite a while longer on this day than normal, after the call the sun popped into the clouds and we did not see it for the rest of the day. It would be a couple of hours before the fateful call, telling me Dad did not make it into surgery. He suffered a cardiac arrest while being prepped for the surgery that most likely would not have been able to save him. I remember thinking WOW – what a really shitty way to end an otherwise perfectly relaxing week off. I called my brother, before Dad passed to let him know he was having some problems and spoke to him when he called me back, after Dad had passed. We did not have any words for each other and the call ended quickly. Arrangements were made and I was in Ohio the next day.

A worse ending to a great week I cannot imagine.