Black Friday – WHAT happens to otherwise normal folks?

I was up at 4:15am on Black Friday – but it was not to go shopping. I was up to go out to the beach and watch the sunrise. I was shocked to find the traffic on the roadways at that time was equal to the traffic I normally see on my drive to work later in the morning. WOW, I could not believe that so many people get up to partake in the ridiculousness of what Black Friday is. The day after Thanksgiving has been understood to be the unofficial beginning of the Christmas season, at least since the start of the modern Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade in 1924. I found the term "Black Friday" has only been around since the 60’s. I found two meanings and am not sure which is accurate so I will include both and let you decide – and NO I AM NOT affiliated with the cable news channel that uses some of those words. The best I can find it was 1966 and that the term originated in Philadelphia and was first used by the Philadelphia Police Department for describing the Friday following Thanksgiving Day. Black Friday officially opens the Christmas shopping season in city center and it brings massive traffic jams and over-crowded sidewalks as the downtown stores are mobbed from opening to closing. More recently, merchants and the media have used it instead to refer to the beginning of the period in which retailers go from being in the red, losing money, to being in the black, making money. Well I for one would not run a business that did not move from red to black until one month before the end of the year. That does not make sense to me, too much risk tied up into one month of the year – Stupid is what I would call that if anyone were to ask me.

So I am jalopy riding to the beach and before I even get to my Gate station to pick up a coffee someone had zoomed around me and almost ran into me. I was on Townsend boulevard, a two lane, and was evidently not travelling fast enough for this freaking bozo in a Toyota Camry that passed me. When he got even with the front of my car he decided he needed to get back over into my lane. I was stunned, it was not like he did not see me, he just passed me for petes sake. One thing one must know about driving an old jalopy is that they do not have fast reaction times. Mine is 51 years old and it does not respond as quickly to input from me as it did for the very first owner all those years ago. Hell, it did not have very good reaction times when it was brand new. So I get to Gate and after getting my coffee and saying my blessing to old Juan Valdez. I say a blessing to him, his coffee bean picking ass and thank them both for roaming the hills of Columbia picking the beans that will eventually be ground and turned into – The nectar of the Gods. Once properly caffeinated I was on my way. There are many ways I can go to get to my desired spot at the beach, that decision is made each time after I have had a sip or two the sweet nectar. Today’s course would take me by a Walmart, that store was not used in making my decision making but I decided that I was glad I picked this route as I drove by, in the very early AM on Black Friday.

This particular Walmart is one of the new all Brick Super stores, everything from toothpaste and artichoke hearts to car tires to mulch all the way to shotguns and underwear. This place IS the hell that is a Mac daddy Walmart store. As I drive by the place is lit up like a military installation might be right before a MAJOR deployment. The parking lot is FULL, it is not even 5am and best I can tell the lot covers 687 acres and from my vantage point there was nary a spot available. I remember thinking, you poor bastards. I do not understanding the urge, do not have the where with all or want to deal with that, just for a few cents off of some trinket, whatever it might be and however shiny it may appear. As I watched, I saw a line around the store to the rear loading area, waiting in an endless line for some trinket that could not be done without, at 5am. I hope and pray that I never understand it. With our shift to a one income family times have gotten tougher than they once were in our home. We can still pay the bills, we still are eating and we still can go out to dinner every now and again. Gone are the days of spur of the moment trips to Daytona or Jekyll Island. With the heady days of dual income no kids gone we have been liberated from the materialistic world that we live in. No longer are we compelled to spend, spend, spend, and now we just get by and enjoy not having to have the latest gadget that does this or the newest fangled gadget for that. Truth be told, it feels great and I never thought it would.

There were days that we spent, spent, spent and not just at the holidays. We pretty much purchased anything we wanted. We were true DINK’s, dual income no kids. Without even knowing it we had been indoctrinated into what capitalism has become – spend, spend, spend. If you do not have the money we will still let you spend, it is simple with this plastic and that plastic. It was the road that lead to the current economic challenges we all face in one way or another. So anyway as I am going by Walmart and another knucklehead swerves in front of me in his black Hummer H2 with gigantic wheels. I assumed they were trying to get over in order to exit and get to that Walmart before all the goodies were gone. Like there should be any fear of that place running out of something. Again I thought, don’t folks know how dangerous cutting off a 51 year old car is? I wished for just a moment that in that swerve the monstrous SUV would flip over and skitter along on the roof. It was just a fleeting thought and I took it back for fear that someone could be hurt if such a thing were to happen. I started thinking about Walmart again and remembered back in the day when Bride and her friends would go shopping on this crazy day. I remember on more than one occasion having to take my truck and go and pick up all the goodies they had purchased because they had filled up the Suburban they were riding in. Do you know how much crap will fit in a suburban? There were only 4 of them and I loaded out 9 televisions, that’s right nine of them along with 6 VCR’s. I guess the fact they were VCR’s tells you how long ago that was. It was crazy when Bride and her friends were doing it and it is even crazier now.

Well I am well past the Super Store from hell and almost to the beach. I was stunned at the volume of traffic, it was bad all the way to the beach. No sooner than I crossed the Intercoastal water way, the “ditch” as those who live out there call it, and some new knuckle head in a green Chevy pickup going about 100 miles an hour cuts me off in order to get over to exit onto Mayport road. He was closest to my car out of the three knuckleheads on this day, but I forgave him the fastest. Why you might ask?? There is not much on Mayport road, except that it dead ends into the Mayport Naval Station. I have been on this very road, moving at a good clip, in order to make it to the Ship on time, it is very bad to be late when in the military. I do not know if that was this persons case but I decided to give them the benefit of the doubt and said a silent, thank you for your service to our country. The rest of the ride I pondered all the rides down Mayport road I had made and how those rides that had no return that evening were the worse. It really sucks being away from family, especially around the holidays. I missed many a holiday in my 10 years of service and I hated missing each and every one of them. The worse one I can remember is my last cruise, it lasted for 189 days and IT SUCKED. It sucked for me, it sucked for Bride and it just plan sucked. The homecomings were FANTASTIC but they did not make up for that hateful day of departure or any one of the other days in between. I want to thank every member of our military, past, present and those who are going in – active duty and reservists alike. Thank you for your service to our great country.

When I get to the beach for the sunrise it is COLD! 49 degrees and with the breeze it was COLD. I was prepared for it though so it was not unbearable. It was a magnificent sunrise, very few clouds and the sheer magnitude of its beauty brought me to tears twice. I love it! After a couple of hours I headed out to make my trip back home, I still had house guests so I did not want to stay out to awfully long. On my way home I saw another indicator of the holiday season – the first Christmas tree strapped to the top of a small white station wagon, a Subaru I believe. I thought, Wow this is only the 27th of November and they have a real tree already. I am not sure what kind of chemical treatments one might have to subject a real tree to make it last for over a month after it has been cut down but I do not think I would want them in my house. In my experience when a tree is cut down it is dead, the leave or needles will start to fall off almost immediately. What must they be putting on or in these trees to make them last so long? Maybe it is the stuff that is added to the water they sit in? What could it be that would have a tree last so long after being cut down? Seems it would get so dry that it would be a severe fire hazard to the homeowner that they would be forced to get an insurance rider for the tinder that is the tree.

Black Friday seems to indeed be the start of the insanity, the insanity of firewood in our living rooms with lights on it, the insanity of the biggest push of goods at us by the manufacturers and retailers and the biggest display of needless materialistic consumption on the planet.

Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas and Hope ya have a great new year.