9-11 a day that has been forged into our national psyche – what does it mean, 8 years later.

I remember someone at work saying a plane hit the World Trade Center North Tower and we turned on the TV. I remember thinking how in the hell could a pilot not see that tower. After seeing all the smoke I also started wondering just how big a plane it might have been. The initial reporting was vague, like always reporters talking about something they have zero information on and actually telling us that at the same time. The whole thing was surreal but I remember the 93 bombing of the north tower, the one ablaze right now, and the feeling then for me was sheer amazement. I was amazed that with that much of the foundation destroyed that the building did not fall or even really shutter. I remember thinking then that the design was truly incredible to be able to sustain such a blast. Minoru Yamasaki’s design was a new thing in the 1960’s and the tube frame structural design was heralded when tower 2 was completed in 1971.

I will take to my grave the memory of watching the second plane zoom in and crash, live and in real time into the south tower, I knew immediately that our country was under attack. I remember Bride calling me and we were both just freaking out. Then came word of the attack on the Pentagon and it was like, where is this going to end. It was a scary day and I remember thinking there are military bases here in Jacksonville and was concerned about our local community. Then came word of a plane going down in Pennsylvania and no one really knew what was going on there at the time. Then word came that all air traffic over the country was being grounded, that to me was the slamming the dot on the exclamation point of the attack. It was the most bizarre day of my life to date. When the first tower came down I could not believe it, I remember watching a show on Discovery about the construction of the building that was on after the 1993 bombing and not that I am an expert but it seemed like it would be OK. At that point we knew nothing of the planes fuel explosion blowing off the fire protection from the steel girders, we knew nothing of the now suspect connection of the floor spans to the outside walls.

I remember crying a lot that day, especially when they showed the Pentagon, I guess I will always have a soft spot for the Military men and women who protect this country – I was one for 10 years. I still am amazed that only 3017 people died that fateful day, that is a testament to the brave men and women who worked for the city of New York in various public safety departments along with those in Washington DC as well. 19 of those were the terrorists and most places you look separate them in the count, for me evil or not they were still human beings so I include them in the count. 285 of them were on the 4 planes and a very brave few on flight 93 grabbed their fate and took action to protect others, a harsh interpretation of the saying “the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few or the one” from the Star Trek movie. That sentiment actually originally appeared in the book of John chapter 11 verses 49-50. The most heart wrenching numbers were the 1,609 people who lost a spouse or partner and the more than 3,051 children who lost a parent. Those stats still make me cry, that devastation is unimaginable for me.



I hear that we American’s have persevered and proven to them they can’t stop our culture. I am not sure I believe that, in fact I think it is bullshit. We do not really care, we act as if we do but we really don’t and here is why I think that. I am, for some reason, still stunned that we have not been able to catch a 6’4’’ Arab man who needs regular dialysis. I think we should have stayed focused the terrorist who claimed the attack and not gotten bogged down in Iraq, Saddam was a devil we created and had under control. He had too big of a narcissistic personality to let any terrorists work inside Iraq, no one stole any glory from that madman. 8 years later, I think we as the American people have failed ourselves. Yeah I said it – we have failed to hold our elected officials responsible. NO WAY should we, the most powerful country on the planet, still be looking for some knuckle head that has to stick out like a sore thumb. NOPE we have martyred him and actually created an even bigger monster than we had when it was just him and a small group of rag tag followers. And we have not revolted and tarred and feathered our national elected officials for doing what to me amounts to symbolism over substance or nothing at all really. There is an apathy in this country, it is the only explanation I can come up with, we are more worried about our big screen TV’s and the cost of gasoline and if no one messes with those we don’t really care about the international stage. It almost makes me ashamed to live here. Our short-term memory problems continue to haunt us, we funded and supplied the Taliban (and they Osama’s group) when we did not like the Russians, we funded and supplied Saddam when we did not like the Iranians and just when these folks though we were there friends – here comes the blindside shot. I am in no way sympathetic to these folks cause, there is a special corner in hell for them but we need to have an open and bipartisan discussion about the reality of our own actions before we turn it over to the writers of history because by then it will too late.



I am also disappointed in the lackluster response of our government here at home, threat levels in a color code and taking my damn shoes off at the airport. Do you feel safer because those actions have been implemented, I do not. I am not sure any of the actions taken have helped make us safer, sure they will tell us it did because there has been no more attacks here. Could it be that the bad guys are not coming here again because they saw us in a systematic way dismantle their leadership and have learned their lesson? Could it be some other security measure we do not know about (and do not want to know about) that has stopped them from attacking again? Could it be they already have won because look at all the inconvenience we now have to endure in order to travel. No one will be able to tell you for sure, I liken it to insurance, with it you are covered, without it you may, may have problems. Who knows, I do not fly much but to me it must be safe, even though we can’t have fresh breath anymore because we can’t bring the little bottle of scope with us. It irritates me when I hear stories about the conspiracy theories, the government did it, they knew it was going to happen or caused it to happen. Bullshit I say, the government can’t even balance a budget, no way am I going to believe they could have pulled off something like this. Those conversations piss me off because it diverts energy from finding and catching the terrorists who did do it.



With this anniversary I feel, in a weird way, lost. Maybe it is a loss of faith in our government, maybe it has nothing to do with 9-11 and more to do with the economic situation we all find ourselves in. Maybe I am just mad that they, our government, is spreading billions around like a drunken sailor may blow his paycheck on booze and women (yes I have done that when I was a sailor) and we the people sit by and allow it with little to no dissent! I am politically agnostic and think they ALL, EVERY DAMN ONE OF THEM, from EVERY DAMN PARTY are no longer representing us at all but are furthering their own agenda. Anyway, I do not know but like every year I will pray for each person who was touched in some way by the horrendous tragedy that took so many lives.  I will pray for all the men and women who serve in the Military who are paying the real cost of our countries ridiculous actions abroad.   I will also pray for our leaders that they may have the courage to make sound and just decisions and not be swayed by opinion polls so they can catch the guy responsible for the unimaginable catastrophe that happened 8 years ago.