Key Fob’s, are they an indication of how dumb we have become????

So there I was yesterday pumping gas into my jalopy as I watched a woman come out to her car with a bag of donuts, a cup of coffee and her cell phone jammed into her ear. I thought to myself, self keep an eye on her because I want to watch how she is going to get into her car while trying to juggle all the necessities of her day, car keys, phone, coffee and donuts. So as she gets close to her car I can see her trying to mash the button on her key FOB and I thought I was about to be amused, I am here to tell you I had no idea. By the way it also made me wonder what FOB was an acronym for, what I found was the word FOB could be followed back through time to the low class of the German citizenry when they used the word Fuppe when describing their pockets. A little known and less cared about factoid I know, but there it is.

Anyway back to the lady juggling the necessities of her day - so I see her start mashing that FOB a bit more vigorously, using the same hand she is holding, and talking on, her phone. Now she is within 2 feet of her car her and little does she know her world is about to crumble and spin violently it off its axis. She mashed that FOB no less than 15 times, spilling a bit of coffee on her other hand, her body movements indicated she was in a highly agitated state at this point. When she realized the FOB was not going unlock her door I swear I could see her whole head start to turn red, from across the parking lot.

In her haste and in a critical overestimation of her abilities, without sitting anything down or halting the phone call I might add, she tried to punch her combination into the little keypad close to the door handle. I wished I were closer and I was not sure why, I initially wanted to offer assistance and secretly I wanted to hear what she was saying, thinking that might make the experience more enjoyable for me. Anyway, what happened next ruined her day and is going to keep her pissed for every bit of week, I know this because at this point I could hear her. As she was leaning down to punch the code into the keypad on her car door, her coffee cup lost level and more of the hot contents spilled onto her hand, causing her to drop it. When it hit the ground and splattered all over her feet and legs I watched in horror as the chain reaction started, she also dropped her keys and the phone that was still suck in her ear and there was an immediate and dangerous spike in her blood pressure. I almost dialed 911 in a preemptive attempt to save her from the stroke I knew was coming. She did not seem pleased about it but I was thinking, thank goodness the donuts were safe, the loop on the plastic bag still dangled around her arm.

At this point I decided that I would not offer assistance, I was a bit scared to get close for fear of losing a limb. Strangely enough as I watched this drama unfold, it was not nearly as funny as I had hoped it would be, I was left with a strange and empty feeling. I could empathize with this woman as I have been there. Not that exact situation but I bet we have all story of struggling to make it through the day when it seems God hated us. I almost felt ashamed as I averted my eyes and continued pumping my gas.

Once she collected herself and the essentials of day and left the scene of the accident I started wondering about key FOB’s and what they, in all their various forms, have contributed to our society, and/or taken away from our society in this case I think. I myself have 3 and don’t even have one to do my car doors. One lets me into work, activates the door access system and one that opens my garage door and the third is the coolest. I got it from the local NPR station and when I mash the button it keeps track of the time and the radio schedule of my NPR station. I then poke the thing into a USB slot on my computer it takes me to the site where I can listen to the show that was on the radio at the time I mashed the button. While that FOB is a cool novelty how critical is it in the overall success of my life. If I liked the story on Morning Edition that much I could go to the web site and listen, this gadget just saves me a few clicks nothing more.

I have seen FOB’s that unlock car doors, open said door and even start the car. I have seen FOB’s that disable home alarm systems, turn on the porch light and even dial the police immediately. I have seen FOB’s that open garage doors, act as a television remote and even act as a personal voice recorder. For the love of God man, can’t we do anything anymore, get up and flip the light switch on. These little FOB gadgets seem to contribute to us feeling that we must try to multitask, all the time, every time, even when listening to the radio on my way home. The poor irate woman most likely did not even realize that her poor attempt to multi-task, the coffee, the donuts, the key fob, the cell phone, was actually responsible for her misfortune. I know she blamed the FOB (I heard that part), then the keypad and maybe even the phone but I bet she never even considered assigning some of that blame to herself for obviously trying to do more than she was capable of doing.

Had it been 20 years ago, that woman may not have had a car that required a FOB or came with a freakin touch pad to get into. She most likely would not have been distracted by a cell phone and I bet she would not have locked her car door to travel the 12 steps into the gas station to get a coffee and donut, there is a story in that alone I know it - of course for another day. If we remove any one of her “modern conveniences”, she would have eliminated her entire series of unfortunate events and been happy when she got to work with her coffee and donuts.

So tell me again how much these little gadgets help us?

How many things can you do at once?

Of that list how many do you fool yourself into believing you are doing at even a mediocre level let alone doing well?

So what is it with Vegetarians????

I do not have any real issues with vegetarians but I am not sure I understand the reasoning. Is it because we don’t want to kill defenseless animals, is it due to health reasons, is it just as simple as you don’t like it. I don’t know and I can not imagine a set of circumstance that would render me a vegetarian. If for some reason that happens to me I want you to come and kill me, with a horn you get from a dead Texas long horn bull. So let me remind you why eating meat is responsible for our being here in the first place.

First, the earth cooled, whoops let me fast forward a bit. During the Pleistocene age, the planet was going through a cooling cycle. The planet warming and cooling is a cyclical thing that has been going on for about 4.2 billion years – that is a story for another day though. The cooling cycle I am speaking about not happened about a million and a half years ago. At that time at least two of hominans emerged and were wandering the eastern and southern African continent. The two I speak of are Homo Ergaster and Homo Erectus. For those of you who studied a bit know that Homo Erectus were our fore bearers and you have probably never heard of Homo Egastor. Well let me just tell you a bit about why.


Both fashioned crude tools and both lived in the same neck of the woods, that is where the similarities end, in my opinion. Actually in this day and age Homo Egastor is consider a subspecies of Homo erectus. So there is that, he was kinda the red headed step child of the Pleistocene if you will, and of course I would. He also had thinner skull bones and experienced sexual dimorphism as well as having a brain cavity that averaged about 700 and 850cubic centimeters as compared to the 850 to 1100 cubic centimeters for Erectus. A study of their teeth revealed that Egastor was most likely a plant eater while Erectus was a meat eater, probably not a medium well steak eater but being at the top of the food chain afforded him some options.


If we fast forward a bit more to Neanderthal Man, which finally died out about 30,000 to 250,000 years ago, some argue whether he was a descendant of Homo erectus but you can bet he was also a meat eater. While he may seem like a joke in Gieco commercial today he was the “Alfa” species of his day and shared the top of the food chain with very few. He did not get there eating the flora that surrounded him, he was a meat eater. I know some will say he is a separate species from the Erectus before him and the Homo Sapiens that followed, it is not important for this argument, the point is they were meat eaters.


It is believed by some that this change in diet is what allowed our brains to develop which allowed us to becomes better hunters and continue moving towards the apex of the food chain. Once we had firmly established ourselves at the top of the food chain further evolutionary advances were not as dramatic and happened on a slower scale. Still, eating meat is what made us who we are as the human race. Now today we do not have to forage and hunt for our dinners, although some still do we don’t have to. Hell we can get 5,534 different flavors of coffee at the big name coffee houses, we do not need to hunt.


So the question becomes do we need to continue to eat meat to further our evolutionary path? I don’t know the answer to that question but my feeling is that eating meat has brought us pretty far and I for one see no need to stop now. As always, nothing is bad for us if we use moderation

Although I am still betting it has been the lettuce and the water that is killing us, you wait and see.

So are you a vegetarian?

“Every man I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learn of him” - Emerson

Would you rip someone off for sixty four cents? How my morning Coffee will be forever changed

I stop at a Gate gas station on my way to work every weekday and Saturday to get my morning cup of coffee, I do not do well without my morning coffee. Now I have been stopping at the same Gate for nearly 10 years, I have seen five managers come and go and a countless number of clerks pass through. So many in fact, that I feel when I get a new manager or new clerk they are coming into MY Gate station. So you can see how I feel obliged to give them some instruction on how things in my Gate station are supposed to work. I have made more pots of coffee in that Gate station than the current manager has, I got that routine down pat and could probably do it in my sleep.

Now Gate, as do many stores of that nature, offer a discount on a refill as compared to a new cup. I have purchased a countless number of Gate travel mugs, I have received another countless number of travel mugs from vendors and various trade shows. I am not sure why but I can never seem to keep one with me, I left it at work, it is in the dishwasher, I left it in someone’s office. I have some suspicions about the why but that is a story for another day. Anyway I have found that when I get their Styrofoam cups I seem to always have one handy. Don’t know why but I seem to have a few in each car, a few at home and few in my office.

The way my morning works is as follows, I go in, walk around to my left, away from the counter and pour the cream in my cup and then walk around to where to clerk can see me pour the coffee into my cup. I then get in line to pay, 1.60 if I need a new cup, .96 if I am refilling an old cup. Seems like an insignificant amount but let me explain, I get a cup of coffee from that gate station 312 days a year, 6 days a week. I have found that the Styrofoam cup can be reused, after the initial 1.60 cost, at least 5 times. With a bit of simple math you quickly see that is almost $500 a year if I used exclusively all new cups and close to$325 if I refill each one 5 times, that is about $175 a year I save reusing my cup. I have had a cup last as many as 11 refills so the $175 savings is very realistic and I usually come out even better than that.

So you may be asking why doesn’t he just make his coffee at home, that would save even more money. We used to brew coffee at home and we still have a machine but here is the deal. We both enjoy the flavored creams in our coffee and we found that we always had to have “our” cream in stock or we just did not want to have a cup. I know we are spoiled little sissies, can’t have coffee with out fancy cream. I have no defense, I am a sissy and have somehow been trained by corporate America to believe I must have flavored cream, as much as it pisses me off, they got me, it worked. So you can see why I do not make it at home, to risky – I could hardly afford to run out of cream and due to shelf life and limited refrigerator space I could not guarantee my coffee would “right”

Anyway, the other day I go in to get my coffee on my way to breakfast and low and behold, I had a new clerk working. You can imagine my surprise, I was not even involved in the interview process. I was rung up at 1.60, I calmly reminded my new clerk that I had brought my cup back with me so that would actually be .96. I was directed to a small sign on the front door indicating that any cup for refill need to be shown to the clerk prior to refilling. I was stunned, amazed dare I say dumbfounded and most importantly I had not had my coffee so it all seemed surreal to me. Instead of making a scene with a new employee and with customers in the store I paid the 1.60 and went on my way.

So after I got my coffee down the cob webs cleared and I really became concerned. I immediately wrote on all my Styrofoam cups “this cup is used” in large letters with a black sharpie. I was sure this would eliminate any problems that might arise if I forgot to travel to the right and show the clerk my cup prior to filling it with cream and coffee. Keep in mind the whole operation is auto piloted for me, I have not had my coffee yet and I have been doing the same thing for a long time. Oh no the next trip in the manager is at the register and I forgot to show my cup prior, accidently of course. Well she wanted to know which pocket the Sharpie was in, I had taken a sip while I waited in line so I had a snappy comeback for that. I told her that I left it on a string over by the new cups so others could use it. Well as snappy as I thought that was with only one sip of coffee I neglected to realize I had not gotten the refill price yet. I have since changed my answers with the manger.

So I tell you all of that to tell you that they implemented that rule because people were ripping them off .64 cents by saying they had a refill instead of the new cup it actually was. What kind of person rips off a Gate station for .64 cents??? I have done the math and unless I have a better than 98.7% chance of getting away with 16.8 million dollars I am not ripping it off. I am still not happy about having to show my cup but I understand why they did it, what I do not understand is what kind of person would steal a cup of coffee. Knowing how important coffee is to me I would buy anyone a cup who needed one, at anytime. I joke with my new manager but she is good to me and provides me with a very consistent cup of coffee, 6 days a week, 312 days a year, what more can a man ask for.

Where do you get your morning coffee?

Are you a real person or are you “What you do” for a living?

Have you ever noticed at an outing meeting new people we tend to ask and ask ourselves, “what do you do”? We tend to immediately go into (in agonizing detail sometimes) what we do for a living. Why is that? I am guilty of it myself, but I recognize it as a trend and that concerns me. Why is it that we respond that way? Do we seek to be accepted? Do we want people to know how important we are? Do we need to justify to ourselves what we do for a living? Do we secretly want people to know how much money we make? I am not sure and I have pondered it quite a bit. So why do we do that, looking at the bigger picture, what difference does it make? That small distinction is HUGE for me.

I do not want to be defined solely by what I do for a living, I would much rather be defined by what kind of human being I am. Don’t get me wrong here – I love what I do and where I do it. I work in the non-profit sector and working at a mission based organization is very rewarding for me professionally. I derive a great deal of personal satisfaction from being able to do things because they are the “right” thing to do more so than just because it might be profitable. When I win the lotto I will not be working anymore -- that to me is proof that any job is nothing more than a means for me to support the life I lead.

So what is the right answer to the question, “what do you do?” For me, I am going to try very hard to answer like this.

What do you do? I love my wife and feel blessed she married me, I am fortunate that both my parents are still with me, and I have three siblings that I love. I try to thank all the people who are involved in getting me the food I eat, kinda like saying grace if you believe in that. I have, since my grannie’s funeral, been very successful in getting a stranger to smile very day. I volunteer for things bigger than me. I try very hard to do that at least 10 hours per month of volunteer work in my community, although right now I am between projects. I still stop to help people who are broken down along side of the road, I drive a 51 year old jalopy so I have been there and have a great number of those tee shirts. I laugh about what I will do with my lotto winnings for at least a half an hour a week -- where else can you get that much entertainment for a buck? And that is “what I do” I assure you that answer will make the asker take a step back.

If the questioner continues with the follow up questions, you can continue defining yourself. Questions such as “no I meant what do you do for a living”? The answer, for me, could be I work at a place that provides programming and services that celebrates human diversity, encourages joyful learning and promotes civic participation all to empower citizens to improve the quality of their lives. That is the mission statement of where I work. So if your inquisitor has not gotten the point yet and asks no, no what do you actually do for a job? The reply could be as simple as, I work on a team that hooks up wires and operates the electronic systems. So hopefully by now the questioner will get the point. I will not be defined or allow someone to define me on their mental charts of what my status or ranking is or where I land on the socioeconomic ladder.

I have lead a very blessed, fortunate and fulfilling life and that, is NOT directly related to what I did to make the money that made that life possible. Anyone reading this also has lead a blessed and fortunate life, a computer an internet connection are not rights and many millions in the world do not have those “conveniences”, dare I say it, “luxuries.” When we put the small things we take for granted into perspective we begin to realize just how very lucky we are, or at least we sure should, and it usually has very little to do with “what we do”

So the next time someone asks you “what do you do” see how long you can hold them off.

In these economic times, what would you do for 50 bucks?

So there I was, eating my oatmeal and reading a comment on my blog about the value of 50 bucks and it got me to thinking, what is the value of a dollar these days. First, I do want to say that for the right amount of money I will do anything, in most cases I would give you up to an hour to draw a crowd to watch before I did it. As far as the example in the comment it was jumping in the cold pool. I get in mine all the time when it is cold and even perform the chicken dance for my Bride to get her to come in, occasionally she will most times she tells me my village it looking for its idiot, I see that as a compliment because it means someone needs me. Oh well, so this would be one I would give you time to draw a crowd and not even charge for it.

I digress though, what is the value of the dollar these days……… Not much now and not much in sight that improves that outlook. Some might say we should be lucky, at least gas has gone down in price, to them I say B.S. and here is why. If you track the cost of a barrel of oil as gas prices were on their way up and compare it to the cost of gas on its way down, we are still paying way more per gallon when compared to the cost of a barrel of oil. Almost every day I hear on the radio that this company or that company is reducing workforce by whatever amount of people and it makes me wonder, where does this end. If I hear the analyst’s right I am part of the problem because I have NO confidence and am not spending money on anything that is not food, who knows I may need that money for food later. I do not know what the answers are but I am concerned about the fact I see no end in sight.

So where I work we had some reduction in forces a few months back as a preemptive attempt to properly manage the shaky economic times. Later we were asked to take a cut in pay, for salaried employees we received a fixed cut based on a percentage, for hourly employees it was a reduction of hours, from 40 per week to 37. Again these steps were taken as a preemptive attempt to properly manage the business during these even more shaky economic times. Depending on what is next it will become more and more difficult to make ends meet. In the end I see a depression of wages and therefore the cost of products but in my experience the wage cuts came first and I have not seen a reduction in the costs of my tub of oatmeal yet.

I am very glad to have a job, period, let alone one that I love at a place I love but I wonder if the choices I have made throughout my life have put me on the best economic footing for an event like the one we are going through right now. I like most of my friends are scared about where we are heading and think the main factor is we can not and do not see an end in site. What is it that will fix our problems, who knows but it makes that 50 bucks for jumping in the pool even more important, 50 bucks for anything seems more important. That 50 bucks would pay one 19th of my house payment, it would pay 50% of my monthly car insurance bill, it would buy my steak and potato dinners we have every Sunday for a whole month and it would allow me 50 chances, almost a month, at the big money win in the Florda lotto.

I think we are all going to be thinking more about our money and exactly what and when we do with it. I hope I will be able to bring my commenter happiness knowing that $50 is still worth something to me.

So what would you do for 50 bucks?

The perfect meal, a steak and baked potato

Well for all of you who may not eat red meat, I am sorry for your loss. To me the perfect meal is a medium rare steak and a potato. The only other items needed are marinade, sour cream, chives, and butter. I am not a nutritionist so I am not sure how this meal falls into someone else’s categories or the food pyramid; but, I do not really care about that, to me it is the perfect meal. Period. Those of you who have had a steak and potato I have prepared can comment, but I do not recall anyone I served this meal to not eating it and being happy.

So why is this the perfect meal you might be asking, duh it is a steak and potato I really should not have to say more but, I will pontificate a bit anyway because, that is the point. My favorite cut of our bovine buddies is the New York strip steak. Some feel this is an inferior cut to the T-bone or some other choice cuts. Here is why I think that view is mistaken, there are many reasons so I will limit this list to the top few.

As you know all the better cuts, including the strip steak, the porterhouse, the T-bone, the tenderloin and a few others come from what is called the “short loin”. This is an area behind the “rib” section and right in front of the “sirloin” section. This area does not have a lot of heavy use muscles that our bovine buddies use to wander around gobbling up their meals. It is also protected from being bruised by the “yuts” of the world performing the ever amusing cow tipping by the larger front shoulders or the “chuck” as our butcher’s call it and the rear shoulders or “round” as it is known. Those two reasons alone are why I feel the “short loin” is where the best cuts come from.

Now while the beef tenderloin steak is the most tender, the strip steak commonly ranks near the top of that scale. The Beef Top (Inside) Round Steak is the most lean and that actually cost’s it points in my book, no fat at all reduces the flavor of the finished product. Short loin steaks are considered by some not to need marinating due to the already flavorful cuts of meat. I diverge from the experts at this point, I have tried many marinades over the years looking for the perfect flavor.

I have experimented with homemade concoctions and about every brand available. My conclusion is Pirates Gold in either in the gold label or red (hot) label are the best and I use them exclusively, red during the cold weather seasons. I have tried the “dry” and “wet” methods and although most prefer a shorter marinade period (dry) I prefer a longer or wet marinade, about 4 hours in the bag. I find it takes a bit longer on the grill but the results are worth the wait. That entire 4 hour marinade time is spent in a 1 gallon zip lock baggy on my counter so the steaks can assume room temperature before hitting the grill. I have found that makes a difference as well but do not know why.

Well there is really not much that needs said about the Potato, it is a starchy, tuberous crop from the perennial solanum tuberosum that is a member of the Solanaceae family, the Russet variety from Idaho is beyond reproach. The only constant I have found in the preparation of this, the fourth largest crop on the planet, is that the innards need to reach 210 degrees before being served. Potato’s are not inherently bad for ya, it is all the goodies we place on them. I have tried many things from A-one steak sauce to Pace hot picante sauce, I like them all but a dab of butter and sour cream is still the best answer, as long as you do not overdo it.

So what are you having for dinner tonight?

Enjoy and of course to Quote Dennis Miller, “That’s just my opinion I could be wrong”

What I saw in my bowl of oatmeal this morning, the observations of an idiot

So there I was this morning looking into my bowl of oatmeal thanking everyone who made it possible to allow me to have this bowl of oatmeal. Then it dawned on me and I started thinking about how interconnected it is, you know oatmeal is sticky and messy right. Well when I you looked at all the factors that are outside my control with regards to my ability to eat this bowl of oatmeal a new understanding about how everything is interconnected started to form.

For example I thank the farmer who was growing the oats, well then I have to thank the man who assembled his tractor, because without him the farmer would not be able to grow and harvest those oats. I also thank the manufacturer who turns the raw product into something I can eat, well then you have to think about that company’s insurance man, without whom they could not run their business. I thank the man who maintains the machine that creates the cardboard box my oats came in, well then you have to think about the guy who creates the different colored inks that are printed onto the cardboard tub. I thank the truck driver who transported my oats to the grocery store warehouse, well then I have to thank his family because without their support he would not be able to spend that time on the road delivering my oats. Well than I thank the kid who is stocking the shelves in Publix where I buy my oats and well then I have to think about whether he is educating himself to make sure he is going to be a productive member of society or not.

So from that brief description of all the people involved in my being able to eat my breakfast, you can take it as far as you want for each example. So that is only for the oatmeal, don’t get me started on the machine that smashes oranges for my juice or about Juan Valdez and his coffee bean picking ass (I am talking about his burro) because if he slips and falls (you know he does not have health insurance) while he is roaming the hills of Columbia picking the beans that bring us the nectar of the gods my entire world would start collapsing in on me.

So you can imagine my amazement at all of that and then I started thinking about the way the world is today and I realized when a person thinks they understand the complexities of the current economic situation or what might or might not fix it, they are living a foolish dream, no one is smart enough to “do the math” on all the interconnected pieces. If my oatmeal showed me such a complex web of interdependency, the global economic problems are too big to fit into anyone’s head. I hope and pray whatever is done at local, state and federal levels works but if it does it will be sheer dumb luck (I am polictically agnostic) because the odds are better for me to get hit by lightening 12 times this morning or winning the Florida lottery.

Not that I hate all that technology has allowed our society to do (I am in that field) but you have to wonder if we should be more concerned with how little we are actually in control of our own lives, when compared to when we grew a garden and raised a hog for 4h (thanks Karen he was tasty)

To Quote Dennis Miller, “That’s just my opinion I could be wrong”

So what did you see in your oatmeal this morning