There’s an App for that – MY ASS there’s an App for that!

As everyone not living in a cave knows, the I-phone and others are hocking these apps for their electronic gadgets, we have all heard “there’s an App for that”. I am not sure why it has been on my mind lately. I guess because I am investigating a new phone plan for the place I work and you can hardly just get a simple cell phone anymore. I have been indoctrinated, indoctrinated into the world of App’s by the various vendors as they court me for our business. Oh, you need to have the touch screen of your Storm turn into piano keys so you start taking piano lessons again. The Blackberry, of course, has an app for that. Oh you need an app to go on a breathtaking exploration of the solar system with an app where all you have to do is tap to travel through time and see astronomical events from the past or future. The I-phone, of course, has an app for that. Making a decision based on the business needs for our folks is proving challenging for me. I personally HATE the things, nothing but an electronic lease as far as I am concerned. Don’t get me wrong, I like having a cell phone and I like it that my Bride carries one but……….. There are times I do not want to be reachable. I also personally think the I-phone is the coolest piece of technology to come along since the I-pod. Apple was first in both those markets but others are fast catching up, although I feel Apple is all over the consumer electronic gadget business and can hardly wait for whatever they put out next.

So back to searching for phones at work. All these gadgets have their pro’s and con’s but the functionality of some is just incredible. Truly amazing pieces of technology. BUT, do we really need them, and I ask that both personally and professionally. How connected do we really need to be? Do we need to check email every 10 minutes all day and night? Do we need to be doing work with these little gadgets while at dinner? One phone that we will never have is one with that stupid walkie talkie feature. It was bad enough when we heard one side of a conversation, with those stupid things we get to hear both. Since there are no etiquette classes on gadget usage, some idiots will be walkie talkieing while eating dinner out, what joy it is to hear both sides of some Neanderthals argument with his boss, while you are trying to enjoy a dinner with your spouse – priceless. Cell phones have made us, as a whole, very rude and here is an example. You are standing in front of someone talking about whatever you may be talking about and their phone rings, 99 times out of 100 they will stop and look to see who is calling. Even if they do not stop, they will look to see who it is. There might be the chance that the someone interrupting the actual face to face conversation may have a higher importance, and then what? We will, more times than not, be relegated to the “not quite as important” realm. It is similar to the 9th level hell, the dreaded Cocytus – where it is purported that Satan himself resides. Usually they will just put up a finger and walk a few steps away. They might as well be throwing up their middle finger at you for all the disrespect they just showed you. Any teachers out there, PLEASE advocate a cell phone etiquette class for the youths of America.

So back to the Apps. One App I found alarming was an app, I think called, I-phone tracker. This little application would use the built in Global Positioning System to follow your whereabouts, and then produce and post on the internet a map showing what you have been doing. There is even a feature that will allow you do that in real time. The first time I saw it a friend of mine was using it, he would plot out his bicycle route. It would show his course and the distance traveled and if memory serves me it would also tell how long it took. Cool I remember thinking, that could be a useful tool for training or keeping track of your workout progress. My friend is a radio personality in the local market and one day he posted a comment about almost being hit by a car. I was glad he was OK and unharmed but the first thing that came to my mind was, maybe someone was tracking him with his seemingly harmless app. I doubt very seriously if that were the case but depending on who you are and what you do it is possible that some nefarious end could come from the use of that app. I asked my friend about that and the thought had crossed his mind as well and to my knowledge he has not posted one of those since. That feature was explained to me by the phone vendors as well, I could keep track of where people were. He looked confused when I simple asked – why? It had not dawned on him that I would not have ANY interest in knowing where someone was at any given time. Who cares is all I could think. He was undeterred and continued on his sales pitch – nice recovery I thought.

Not long ago, I read a portion of a commencement speech given by Google CEO Eric Schmidt at the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia earlier this year. He urged the students to find out what is most important to them — by living analog for a while. Living analog for a while huh? He said "Turn off your computer. You're actually going to have to turn off your phone and discover all that is human around us” and that "Nothing beats holding the hand of your grandchild as he walks his first steps." I agree with him whole heartedly! Many of us get all hung up on the gadgetry of it all, adopting technology just for the sake of having the latest and greatest thingamajig. We rarely ever look at the real benefits, the pro’s and con’s, of a new technology. Do we weigh the cost of that 52 inch LED flat panel television with the reality of how much TV we watch. Is the picture really that much better or do we just think we have to have it because it has 120 hertz. 120 hertz of what? I have even asked a sales guy at a consumer electronics store that question, and only one could tell me what the 120 hertz was related to and even he could not explain why 120 hertz was better than the other options available to me. That number, by the way, is referring to the refresh rate of the screen. Ask them next time if that is adjustable and to see the difference when it is switched from 60 to 120. Most folks, short of someone with a bionic eye, will never be able to see the difference. Try changing the refresh rate on your computer monitor if you do not believe me. We tend to adopt because the Jones’ are adopting, not because of an exploration and understanding of the applications of that technology and how that would be useful in our lives. That is not good or bad it just is.

So back to new phones at work, I have narrowed it down between I-phones and Blackberry’s. Both have a good list of pros and cons and I assume the decision between them will come down to a financial one, whatever is the least expensive. They will be a bit more than just a simple phone plan, the smart phones have higher charges because of the need for a data plan. That is to be expected, but that additional cost in my case can be easily justified. We have an on call engineer, and if he can use a smart phone to get into the work systems and correct an issue without having to drive in, the smart phone will quickly pay for themselves. I even project enough savings in overtime to actually come out ahead. There will be no GPS tracking in them, who cares about that. I do have a wish list of apps. I would like an app that helps me explain the benefits of a new plan to senior management. I would like an app that makes up for all the time that will be wasted while folks get used to their new gadget and suspect that will be high initially. I would like an app that somehow makes my job easier, it will take more than the app that lets me exchange contact info by bumping the gadgets together. That is cool but…….. I would like an app that shut the thing down and not let it turn on until you visited a park or went for a walk or just plain old talked to a friend or loved one without the interruptions. That is an app I would pay more than 99 cents for!