My 1958 jalopy needs some work!

I have a 52 year old car, I was driving it every day it was not broken, until recently. When a car reaches that age there are parts that are just flat worn out. There are parts that in the normal life of a car just do not normally need replaced, unless you keep it going for 52 years. Recently I decided it was time to do some updating to the old jalopy. The steering was a little loose and when I go around the corners the car leans a bit, the tires do not track tightly and the four wheel drum brakes are nothing but problematic. It was time for some serious updating work. Where to start was the first question and the secondly, and more importantly, where to stop. When the car is 52 years old a person could keep going until he was broke and with more invested in the car than it is worth, I did not want to wind up there.

I love my old jalopy for many reasons, one of which is that it has no payments. With no payment plan, it affords one the opportunity to equate repair funds to the number of car payments it might be if I bought a new car. If I could get all the parts for less than 6 months of car payments I figured it was worth it. I have not had a car payment for a long time so I based it on what my last car payment was, about 500 bucks a month. That gave me a budget of three grand to get this work completed, luckily I can perform the work myself, at least most of it so I am hopeful I can stay on budget. Back to where to start, a tougher question than I thought and it made me realize I needed to know where I wanted to go before I could answer it.

First order of business was to run through the rear suspension and start replacing worn items. It did not take long to see that most all the parts there were in need of some updating and replacement. Front and rear leaf spring bushings and the anti-squeak buttons. There were the shocks and shackles, there were the wheel cylinders and U bolt washers. I also had to completely rebuild the rear brakes, new wheel cylinders, new brakes shoes, new springs and new emergency brakes cables. I was amazed how much dirt, grease and other debris builds up over the years. I laid down plastic sheeting on the garage floor to catch all that mess instead of then having to clean up the garage floor. I will be using the same technique when I get to the front suspension and steering components.

Next, I knew I wanted to install disc brakes to improve the stopping capabilities, simple sounding enough right – WRONG! Disc brakes will not fit inside of a 14” rim, like the ones installed on this jalopy from the factory. I would need to change the rims from the stock 14” to at least 15”. This turned out to be a MUCH bigger deal than I had anticipated. It would have been easy except for one thing, I wanted to keep my original ’58 hubcaps. I could have easily just spent some money and gotten a nice set of rims, pimp Daddy it right up – I did not want that. So, how to get 52 year old 14 inch hubcaps to fit on a 2010 15 inch rim? I pondered this question quite a bit and finally with the assistance of Bride came up with an idea that would float the hubcap in the center of the rim and then powder coat what is visible the same color as the red on the car. It was her idea but I am attempting to take credit. Sounds easy right – wrong again. It was going to require some fabrication work and I am a woodworker by hobby so I do not have a fully equipped metal fabrication shop in my garage. After talking to several fabricators I was getting nowhere, no one wanted to do it. I think it was mainly because I stressed the importance of the wheel being balanced when they were done.

I was on my way to visit a park on the west side and passed a place called Edwards Ornamental Iron and thought, why not stop and ask. It was there I met with Mike and this was not a job he was going to shy away from. To the contrary, he made suggestions that were better than my (Bride’s) original ideas. Finally, we agreed on materials, costs and timelines and I dropped off 4 brand new steel rims I had purchased from Jeg’s Performance Auto Parts up in Ohio. A few days later, he called and said they are ready to go. I stopped by on my lunch hour to pick them up and they were perfect. The fabrication work was smooth and clean and the job was perfect. I was somewhat concerned with the balance but he explained they made a jig to ensure the hubcap ring was exactly centered. Later, I had tires mounted and they were perfectly balanced. No matter the project, you ought to give Edwards Ornamental Iron a chance to look at it, (904) 354-4282 and ask for Mike

So once I had the metal work completed I needed to get them painted or powder coated to match the red on the jalopy. I found East Coast Powder Coating, off Beach blvd. He was apprehensive about what I wanted to do. I only wanted the area that would be seen powder coated, I was trying to save a dime. They went on to explain to me that they normally prefer to powder coat the whole rim. Finally I was able to convince him that only the lip needed to be coated and the job turned out fantastic. If you ever have the choice to paint something using traditional methods or have it powder coated – have it powder coated and use East Coast Powder Coating, (904) 645-5476.

The rims now completed I needed some rubber on them. The rims I selected were 15” instead of the 14” in height that came on the car and they were quite a bit wider as well. From a bit over 4 inches wide to a full 8” for the rears and 7” on the front. That small change alone was going to dramatically change to stance of the jalopy as well as greatly improve the handling characteristics. I decided on Cooper Cobra’s and I used Arlington Tire. I have used them for years and recommend them to anyone, (904) 743-6294 and ask for Dave. We worked through several sizes before I settled on 245/60-15’s for back and 215/70-15’s for the front, I am still thinking about those front ones though. Before I could change the rims on the rear I had to rebuild the rear brakes from the ground up, all new bits. With that work complete, I purchased the rear tires and installed them and they look GREAT, in my humble opinion.

I have ordered the first round of bits for the front end, I should say the first 682 bucks worth. It was funny, the box those parts came in was about 5 inches by 5 inches and about 15 inches long, not sure why but I was thinking the box of parts would be bigger for nearly 700 bucks. That gets me most of the parts, still need springs, sway bars and the disc brake conversion kit and probably a couple of more little bits. As I started to examine the front end and read the original Ford shop manual I realize that there is 52 years of grease, dirt and God only knows what else coating those parts. I will probably need to invest in a company that manufactures degreaser because I think I am going to need a lot of that product. Most of my friends and even Bride wonder why I am doing all this and not just buying something that is new and that does not require so much work. To all the critics I say this, I love doing the work, I love driving the car and I love not having car payments so there ya go. This story is going to continue but here are before and after pictures of the rear rims and tires.

Three dimensional television – really? Why do we need 3D TV?

What is it with the rush to adopt 8.65 billion new technologies every year? I work in television and believe me there has been a TON of talk about 3D television, in the trade magazines, at the National Association of Broadcasters show, I mean everywhere. It seems that somehow just simple High Definition television is no longer good enough. HD television is just hitting stride, most programming is now produced in HD and delivered in HD with 5.1 surround sound right to the viewers in their homes. That is a hell of a technological accomplishment all by itself and now we are on to the next best thing – 3D TV. Somehow HD has becomes blasé, as common as USB thumb drives over 10gig and camera phones with 900 billion pixels, like most folks even know what that really means. That seems to be the gist of the message and from a technical perspective 3D is compelling, no doubt about it.

The migration of television to the new formats has somehow brought with it the same sort of expectations of fluidity that all silicon-based industries now have to bear the weight of. I understand that nothing remains the same, that understanding is a tenant that I base my life on, but the obsolescence curves have reached ridiculous levels. I read that TrueCycle recycling says that the average lifespan of a computer in 1997 was 4 to 6 years. Now that time frame is said to be less than two years. It reminds me of that commercial where the guy is driving home with his new computer and he sees that they are putting up a new billboard with the next newer model, that is becoming more and more a reality in our world. Now it seems that the television world has morphed into much the same platform and business model. That is good in that the prices will continue to drop, TV’s are half what they were 2 years ago and the biggest and badest will always be in the top tier, cost wise, just like with computers.

There are the pontificators who swear that 3D TV will take hold quicker than HDTV. They go on about the business model, the 3D format itself will be a multi-billion business within two years time, etc, etc blah, blah, blah. There is an awful lot predicting going on but the early attempts at 3D sports has really left those who saw it with mixed reactions. The common theme was “Some of it was really tough on the eyes.” Some companies are hawking glasses-free 3DTV sets, it depends on the format as to whether they will work, why you might ask? Because there are no industry standards established as of yet. To deploy a technology across the country that will include manufactures, broadcasters, producers and the myriad folks who would have to be involved takes a set of standards. (remember the Bluray and HD-DVD battle?) Those governing most of what we do as broadcasters come from SMPTE (Society of Motion Picture and Television Engineers). Will it be the parallax-barrier technology that wins, that is essentially an overlay or a coating on the screen, to split the image so that it appears to be 3D within a very limited viewing area. Or will it be one of the other methods? Who knows and who wants to invest until we know for sure?

To be fair, over the last year or so there has been a lot that has happened, but there are miles to left to go. In Cowboy Stadium, on Dec. 13 a 3D version of the action on the field was displayed on the venue’s 160-by-72-foot video screen, a good test right – YEP but the results may not have been what was expected. Pupils are a fixed distance apart, and vision converges at around 60 feet, where we naturally see two dimensions. The big-screen 3D effect caused people’s eyes to veer out of alignment. With home 3DTV, this so-called “vergence” occurs at around two feet behind the viewing screen, giving large venues an on-screen appearance of a diorama. This problem is so pronounced that Samsung’s Australian office has issued a warning about the health risks of watching 3DTV. They are taking it very seriously and the dangers must be real for a TV maker to come out with comments such as those. The warning explains that fluorescent lights may cause flicker in conjunction with the active-shutter glasses necessary for viewing 3D television. It recommends turning off “all fluorescent lighting and blocking sources of direct sunlight before watching in 3D mode.”

The advisory goes on to warn that “some viewers may experience an epileptic seizure or stroke when exposed to certain flashing images or lights contained in certain television pictures or video games.” It further advises that if individuals or their family members have a medical history that includes epilepsy or a stroke, they should consult a medical specialist before attempting to try out 3D television. “Viewing in 3D mode may also cause motion sickness, perceptual after effects, disorientation, eye strain and decreased postural stability,” the warning continues. “It is recommended that users take frequent breaks to lessen the likelihood of these effects. If you have any of the above symptoms, immediately discontinue use of this device and do not resume until the symptoms have subsided.” WHAT, decreased postural stability!!!! I do not want a TV that causes me any of those problems, hell that sounds like the disclaimer you hear after a prescription medication commercial. Come on folks, there is nothing on the tube worth enduring any one of those maladies, let alone the whole list.

3DTV is exciting, as much for the technical challenges as for the format itself, which being in the technical side of the business is extremely interesting to me (yes I am a technogeek at heart). But, for me, I do not see it replacing HDTV any time soon. When you consider that half of the TV-equipped households in the country have standard-definition TVs anyway. Yep, some folks have not tasted the cool aid and felt the overwhelming urge to go out and buy a HDTV set – for whatever reasons. Another significant portion of those folks have converters or a pay service hooked up to a cathode-ray tube, it is just the boob tube I mean seriously. It seems to me that the press, under the direction of marketing monsters, will continue to hype 3DTV, as if we were talking about the adoption of cold fusion as a primary power source for the whole planet. I suspect, as with all new technologies it will quickly work its way from novelty to necessity and most likely that will happen at nearly the speed of light and will be available soon on whatever the latest gadget Apple is hocking at that particular moment.

I also wanted to talk about what might be next as well, if we are now contemplating 3D television what about implementing 3D in other parts of our lives, for example – cell phones, point and shoot cameras, toe nail clippers, coffee pots and even letters from our creditors. Why has no one thought about 5D electricity, right into our homes at a blazing 400meg download speed. What about a 500” LCD display that has 18.9 billion colors that it uses to reassemble the picture, how damn cool would that be? What about a 3D visioning system that can park our cars for us, oh wait we already have that so nevermind that one. I would like to wear 3D glasses all the time and think everything we see should be in 3D. I mean aside the stylish and fashionable look imagine how EVERYTHING in the world would look in 3D with 23.9 surround sound, mainly because 5.1 surround is so passé right?

3D television my ass!

How to simulate a six month cruise at home - from back in the day when I was in the US Navy

How to simulate a six month cruise at home

By ET2 Duane Smith

1. When commencing this simulation, remember to lock all friends and family outside. Your only means of communication should be letters that your neighbors have held for at least three weeks and thrown away one of every five.

2. Surround yourself with 400 people you do not like. People who chain smoke, fluctuate loudly and fragrantly, often snore like a Mack truck going uphill and use foul language like a kid uses sugar on cereal.

3. Unplug all radios and TV’s from receiving signals other then from your VCR to cut yourself off completely from the outside world, but have a neighbor bring you a time or Newsweek from 2 month’s ago and a Playboy with all the pictures torn out.

4. Every morning write yourself a POD (plan of the day) for the next day. Outline all events that will happen and all the things you have to do (account for all 24 hours). Then ignore it.

5. Wake up at 6am every morning and eat breakfast at 7:45 read the plan of the day to yourself.

6. Call the electric and water companies and have them randomly cut your water and electricity off for approximately 4-5 hours a day three times a week.

7. Have all your friends call you at all hours of the day and night asking stupid questions that have absolutely no relevancy to anything.

8. Drink only bug juice, to simulate bug juice, buy four one-quart packages of cool-aid, make them with one quart of water and 8 cups of sugar.

9. Ask all your neighbors to send over all five to seven year old children to boss you around all day, this will simulate the officers. (Same mentality)

10. Monitor all appliances hourly, recording all the vital information, (i.e., is it plugged in, does the light come on when the door is opened etc, etc) if any appliance is not operating correctly, cover the unit tags that say, “DANGER DO NOT OPERATE”.

11. Do not flush the toilet for 5 days to simulate 40 nasty people using the same toilet, afterwards flush only once a day.

12. Lock the bathroom door twice a day for a 4-hour cleaning period.

13. Have week old fruits and vegetables delivered to your garage and wait 2 weeks before eating.

14. Prepare all meals blindfolded, using all the spices you can grab or none at all. This will simulate shipboard food; eat it all as fast as humanly possible.

15. Install a device that shuts off the AC in the middle of the night, as soon as you start sweating and uncover have it come back on.

16. Wash all dishes with no soap and on the economy cycle, leaving large chunks of the last meal to be savored later.

17. Have your neighbors send you tapes of your favorite shows, insure they only tape half of the show and never the part one of a “to be continued”.

18. Place a magnet, hanging from the ceiling, beside your television to remove all the color from the picture and to make to images move around while you are watching.

19. To simulate a refueling at sea go to the local gas station and volunteer to pump gas for 3-5 hours daily, always stretching the hose as far as it will reach, spilling gas all over yourself.

20. Wear only military uniforms, even though no one cares. Clean and press a dress uniform and wear it for twenty minutes, after which you can change back into the uniform of the day.

21. Cut your hair weekly making it shorter every week until you are bald or look like you tangled with a weed eater on crack.

22. Work in 18-hour cycles, sleeping for only 4 hours at a time to ensure your body no longer cares if it is night or day.

23. Call the grocery store and have them deliver forty pallets of flour, sugar and rice. Unload all of this manually and store it in an extremely small place such as a bathroom or closet.

24. Repaint your house inside an out at least once a month, whether it needs it or not. Use old paint that was discarded by the supplier.

25. Ensure the hot water heater is connected to a device that provides water at a rate varying between 0-25 PSI and the temperature should vary between 32 and 320 degrees.

26. When eating with a spoon, make sure it is the kind that will hold as least a ½ a cup.

27. Remember, the lowest bidder built everything you own and work on.

28. Cut a very thin mattress in half, making it only 22 inches wide, enclose three side with sheet metal and add a roof that prevents you from sitting in any position (ten inches is good). Place this whole contraption about 4 feet off the floor, place a dead animal under the bed to simulate your bunkmates body odor and funky feet smell. Attach a set of keys to a string hooked to the ceiling fan to slap against the side all night long.

29. Make up a qualification for all things in your house, including how to flush the toilet. Now compile a list of people who can qualify you in each area, ensure that those people are dead or hate you.

30. Invite 40 people over to watch your favorite 2 month old ½ a show and let them sit on the furniture while you take up a seat on the floor only to have them change the channel immediately.

31. Ensure the movies your friends send you are all old John Wayne movies with tracking problems, watch these twice a night.

32. Have the grocery store deliver 2 pallets of single serving boxes of stale bran flakes, to be eaten only with semi fresh powdered milk or cottage cheese.

33. Every evening at 20 hundred, no matter what you are doing, stop and place an Oral Roberts tape in the VCR and watch for about 5 minutes. After this is over resume normal activities.

34. Set your alarm clock to go off at 5-minute intervals for the first hour of sleep to simulate various times the watch standers and night crews bump around and wake you up. Be sure to set you bed up on a rocking table to ensure you are tossed around the remaining three hours. Alternately use a custom clock that simulates fire alarms, whistle blasts and flushing toilets.

35. Periodically shut off the power at the main fuse box and run around shouting, “fire in the main space”, do this until you lose your voice and then restore power.

36. At least once a week force the toilet to overflow on the bathroom floor. This will simulate a shipboard toilet backup. (The equivalent of back flushing the entire city sewage system into your home.

37. Remove all plants, pictures and decorations. Paint all furnishing and walls gray, white or the shade of pea green used on hospital smocks.

38. Study the owner’s manuals for all house hold appliances, at regular intervals take each one apart and put it back together again for no reason at all.

39. Buy a gas mask, smear it with rancid animal fat and scrub the faceplate with steel wool until you can no longer see. Wear this two hours every 5th day, even to the bathroom.

40. Purchase 50 cases of rolled cardboard (fake toilet paper) lock up all but two rolls, making sure one is always wet

41. Every two days, smash yourself in the forehead and the shins with a hammer to simulate collision injuries sustained on Naval vessels

42. When making sandwiches, leave the bread out about 5 days or until it is hard and stale, whichever comes first.

43. Every 10 weeks simulate liberty in a foreign country. Go outside, go directly to the city slums wearing your best clothes. Then go into the worse looking place you can find and ask the bartender for the most expensive imported beer he has. Drink as many of these as you can in four hours. Hire a cab to take you home using the longest possible route he can find. Tip the driver after he charges you double rate because you dress funny and don’t speak right.

44. Use semi fresh milk for only the first week, after a simulated liberty port

45. Keep the bedroom thermostat set at 39 degrees F and use only one wool blanket and no sheets

46. Take all of your belongings and stuff them into two little lockers (similar to, but smaller than, bus station lockers.

47. Place a device on your shower head that puts so much chlorine into the water that your eyes sting for hours after your 2 minute Navy shower

48. Buy a computer at an outrageous price, but do not use it. This is for the officers (the 5-7 year old kids)

49. Hook up an air compressor to ten whistles throughout your house and blow them for 25 seconds every 10 minutes – 24 hours a day

50. Have a neighbor shoot at your house with a high powered rifle at least twice a week, this will simulate an attack and general quarters, at which time you will practice closing all the curtains, doors and securing the power 

51. If you happen to get sick call your mother in law, the one who hates you. She knows all about medicine (including setting broken bones and fixing teeth) and have her come take care of you.

52. At least four times a week you will get no sleep because you will be on watch. This involves sitting around doing nothing except you can’t sleep, read or eat for eight hours at a time. This will be done with extremely uncomfortable headphones which weigh 13.34 pounds.

53. Tear all the carpet out of your house. Now tack down 50 grit sandpaper everywhere, this will simulate our non-skid decks.

54. If you are a smoker and want a cigarette, first buy a walk in refrigerator and install it in a friends house, at least three miles away from your house. Next walk over to that house and walk into the fridge and smoke one cigarette, repeat at needed.

55. After thoroughly cleaning your house for 3.5 hours a day, invite the officers to come over and tell you how filthy it is, do this every day except Sunday.

56. If a prepared meal by chance does turn out to be tasteful, never allow yourself more than one small portion, three ounces and toss the remaining portions in the trash.

57. Once a month, issue medals to the officers for all that you have accomplished.

58. To simulate chief petty officers, have the neighbors send the oldest, fattest living relatives to come over and talk about the way things were done at their last house.

60. Drink at least 5 gallons of coffee a day to ensure a maximum state of alertness while on watch. The temperature of the coffee should be no less than 1987.45 degrees and no warmer than the temperature on the surface of the sun. this coffee must be allowed to ferment for no less than eight hours, proper planning is in order.

61. Store all trash in the dining room for a minimum of three weeks before throwing it into your back yard, ensure you separate food contaminated plastics from regular trash

62. Wash your clothes in the cheapest detergent you can find (usually comes in 800 gallon barrels for two bucks) this will simulate shipboard laundry by making all your whites pale and yellow and shrinking everything else by three sizes

If by chance you want to quit – TOUGH, you have 5 months and 29 days left!

This is written to help you, the family member or friend, understand the joys of an extended period at sea and give you a chance to give it a try.

Good luck and happy sailing.

Have you seen that movie, Where the Wild Things are yet?

That was my absolute favorite book when I was a kid, I made my Mom read that too me every night for what I seem was years. I loved it! This book, by Maurice Sendak became a classic long ago. It was the winner of the 1964 Caldecott Medal as the "Most Distinguished Picture Book of the Year," it was first published by HarperCollins in 1963. When the book was written, the theme of dealing with dark emotions was rare in children's literature, especially in picture book format for young children. For some reason I do not remember the book being dark or dealing with dark emotions, I remember it being about a great adventure story about redirecting anger to better pursuits. Some things I was desperately in need of as a young kid, as my Sister if you don’t believe me. It has been over 40 years and that book is still popular, why I ask.

I do not think it is the impact it had on the field of children’s literature but had more to do with the impact of the story and the illustrations on kids. The book was based on the consequences of one little boy's mischievousness and that was, and in some ways still is, ME. It all starts with Max dressing up in his wolf suit doing all kinds of things he shouldn't be doing. He is chasing the dog with a fork when his Mom scolds him and calls him a "WILD THING!" Max, in turn, gets so mad he shouts back, "I’ll eat you up!" This little outburst results in him being sent to his bedroom without any supper. I have been there, done that and wore out that damn tee shirt. I was a horrible kid and maybe I liked this book because it was the story of my life. No Dad present in Max’s life, no Dad present in my life. Max was a hellion who did whatever he wanted to do whenever he want to do it, hummmmm, that has a familiar ring to it. Well, once in his bedroom his imagination runs amok. He is able to transform his bedroom into an extraordinary place, with a forest and an ocean and a little boat. A boat he takes to a land full of Wild Things, just like him.

All of these monsters look and sound very fierce, but Max is able to tame them with a single glance. Even the monsters realize that Max is the most wild thing of all and when they do they make him their king. Max and the wild things have a great time creating a rumpus until Max wants to be where someone loves him. That days fantasy ends when he smells his dinner. Despite the wild things' protests, Max sails back to his own room where he finds his supper waiting for him. This part of the story is telling for me, Max is in conflict, conflict with his mother AND with his own anger. HE is still angry when he is sent to his room but he does not continue getting into mischievousness, instead he gives free rein to his anger through fantasy. He is then able to come to the decision that he will no longer let his anger separate him from the people he loves and that love him. Young Max is engaging character, his actions, from chasing the dog to talking back to his mother are very realistic and very similar to my childhood, poor Timmy the dog – sorry Karen. His and my emotions at that time are also very realistic. It seems it would have to be common for kids to get angry and fantasize about what they could do if they ruled the world and then calm down and consider the consequences. This character is someone that most kids can readily identify with.

I think this book is a GREAT lesson in the power of imagination, it can take you anywhere and it becomes even more important in adult life as well, at least in my opinion. Even though it may seem cloaked initially, there are strong themes of unconditional parental love – Max’s Mom never stopped loving him, no matter how bad a hellion he was. I feel Max was a great model of a boy being able to draw on his imagination. I still to this day think this is a fantastic trait to have, it allows us to just be by ourselves and be happy. We also learns some lessons as well, when he misbehaves around the house and is sent to his room without any supper he in turn sends the wild things to bed without their supper. It could be said that perhaps his behavior toward the monsters meant he understood why he was being punished, making it a touching gesture when his dinner is waiting for him in his room. There was a reason the book won the Caldecott Medal, the writer’s giant monster characters are iconic. While they are described as scary in the book, their faces and lumbering frames make them appear almost jovial. As you read along you can almost imagine the room shaking when you watch them playing (wild rumpusing) in the forest. Max and his new friends dance and play through some of the most whimsical, enchanting, and unique artwork in children's literature.

I can relate my ability to deal with the anger of my youth, and adulthood to some degree, to learning from Max and maybe my Mom learned a thing or two as well in how to deal with me. What an empowering, psychologically accurate parable about a child learning that his anger, while sometimes overwhelming and scary, can be safely expressed and eventually conquered. In a world where yelling and meanness and hooliganism is the norm, maybe, just maybe where the Where the Wild Things Are should be required reading for all adults. The message we should all take away from this book is, unconditional parental love is reassuring to kids and a perfect ending to a story does not hurt either. Even if the story does not have a perfect ending, one can learn to imagine a perfect ending. If one is unable to imagine the perfect ending to the story of our lives, how then are we to get to that perfect ending? The book is, in my opinion a subtle masterpiece, a masterpiece of story, writing, and art that will have kids asking for repeated readings, I sure did. The colorful language and a world of imagination make this wild adventure a fun learning experience about how to get through the days.

Well that brings me to the movie, WOW! The movie was WAY different than I remember the book to be. I am 45 and some of those characters scared me, not like the lovable characters that were illustrated in the book. When I first heard Carol, voiced by James Gandolfini, all I could think of was Tony Soprano strangling that guy in a Christmas tree lot while traveling with his daughter to visit some college. That was not what I wanted to see when I looked at the lovable Wild Things. There were a lot of great voices in the movie, Bride and I always try to guess the voices in cartoon movies or movies where you can not see the people and we did pretty good on this one. I thought the movie missed the point though – it was way more scary than I think the book was intended to be. If I had kids I would read the book to them but I do not think I would let them watch the movie. The two were NOT the same. I am not sure what kind of ratings the movie got but for me it was a dud, not worthy. I can’t imagine taking a 40 some odd page book and turning it into a full length feature movie – not enough material to stay true to the original story. But for me that is the point of it, the story of the book is fantastically concise and tells such a great story, with both words and pictures.

Love the book, did not like the movie, what did you think?

This is a crazy story about an acquaintance of mine who was helping a woman at a gas station

So I met this guy where I work, the company he works for was performing some work on the air conditioning system, his portion had to do with duct work. He worked in my areas of the building for a few months and we worked together a lot coordinating air outages and temporary feeds and other details that need dealt with when replacing ductwork. He was a good supervisor and a conscientious worker and I was impressed with his attention to detail. That was several months ago and when our job was complete he was onto the next job. Well, we have been saving to replace our air conditioning ductwork at the house, we replaced the unit a couple of years ago and they told me then the ducts were leaky and the wrong size and needed to be replaced. At that time we could not afford the new unit and the ductwork and since the unit was dying the decision was made for me. We did see a drop in our electric bill but I knew we were not seeing the true efficiency of the unit with the crappy and leaky 37 year old ductwork.

I started to get quotes, not thinking about my buddy maybe doing the work on the side. All of my ducts are in the attic and it is not a large attic, it was going to be crappy job for whoever was going to do the work. The first bidder showed up and spent about an hour crawling around the attic and a few days later emailed me a quote, $3,800 bucks and 4 days to complete the work. When he was here, he indicated that hard duct was the correct way to do this job and did not have one good thing to say about the flexible duct that is so common today. I suspect that is due to the price. Anyway, his stunning quote also indicated he would be using flex duct and that he would not be responsible for toting off the debris. Having run my own business I immediately realized that he did not want to do the job, I bid stupid high when I did not want the job and this was an obvious example of him not wanting the job. It seemed strange to me in this crappy economy, but I suppose he had enough work that he did not need my money. The second bidder was a similar story with some differences but basically it was the same story being told by another company. That was more than I had budgeted for the replacement so I was in a quandary.

So that is when I was reminded of the guy who was working at the station so I tracked his number down and called to see if he was interested. He was, as a side job, there is good and bad to that and I knew that going in. No company to back the work if there are issues and insurance and worker compensation issues but I knew without those I would be able to get a better price, and I did. I still do some side work so I understand how that works, risk mitigation is key and one must understand that going into a deal like that. He came out with his helper and crawled around the attic and told me he would give me a call to let me know on a price. A couple of days later he called me back with a price, $1,700 and he was going to be using all insulated galvanized steel ductwork. I was stoked, he said due to cash flow he would need some money for materials. How much I asked and he said a grand is a good start. I was stunned that he was going to do the work so cheap. When we met up to give him the money I asked for clarification. $1,700 for the work plus the materials right I asked. The $1,700 was labor and the materials would be in addition to that. I was bummed but that was still better than the other guys and they were all going to use flex duct. I was still happy.

So after I give him the grand for materials and we set up for the Saturday to get started I was syc’d about getting the work done before it got hot. Anyway, Saturday morning came and went and he is a no show. I call and get the machine. I was not worried at this point, maybe a miscommunication and I would call him during the week. Well he disappears for a few days and I could not get in touch with him at all. After a few days and many calls and many messages I was beginning to wonder if I was just duped and what actions I might take to get my money back. . Come to find out he had spent a bit of time in jail. This is not the first person I know that has spent some time in a jail cell, I include myself in that list from back in my younger days when I still drank. In my case, I deserved it, my own stupidity and at that time I vowed never to bail anyone out of jail because if they were there, they did some dumb assed thing that got them put there. This held true about 15 years ago when a friend of mine called, from jail, asking to be bailed out. He knew my stance on this before he called so I am not sure why he wasted his call on me. I did not bail him out and we are still great friends to this day. I do however have a bit of empathy for the guy in this case and it scares me that I think I would have been in his shoes had I been presented the same situation that landed him in jail.

So, here is the scenario, he pulls into the gas station in his company truck with his son to get gas. He is pumping his gas and the couple in the car in front of him is arguing, very loudly. He attempts to ignore them and their foul language, even though he was concerned because his son was being exposed to this ridiculousness. Well, this lead to that and then the man slapped the woman on the face, she struck him back and they were into it. My friend at this point starts hollering at them to stop, not involved yet and still pumping his gas. There was an exchange of words between the two and then the man turns his attention back to the women he was berating. The next thing was stunning by anyone’s sensibilities – the man pulled back and punched the woman in the face and she hits the ground like a sack of potato’s. At this point he can take no more and as she is getting up he gets in this woman beaters face and that escalates quickly into a fist fight. Well this dipshit gets his ass kicked by my friend and the woman he just punched gets up defending her man and almost immediately the cops show up, called by the station attendant earlier.

Well like so many domestics you see on the TV show cops it never ends well. Both the man and my AC man are hauled to jail, where he spent 7 days. Since they take your belongings he did not have my number that was in his cell phone so that is why I did not hear anything. So, the day he gets out he calls me to tell me this story and it really scares me because had I been presented with the same exact situation I would have responded in the same way. It makes me wonder if “getting involved” is just not worth it. That really makes me mad when I think about it! Just like we are not supposed to stop and help people who are broke down, they may be the boogey man. I still stop and help people who are sitting on the side of the road, I am very careful to survey my surroundings before I get out of my car but I still will help. I am mad about it because our society is almost ingraining into us NOT to help our fellow man. I am so diametrically opposed to that position that this example just simply infuriates me.

He explains to me that he will refund my money if I want but he would appreciate the work, especially now he has legal bills to pay. I still needed the work done so he spends a couple of weekends in my attic, 2 days one weekend and two more days the following weekend. As they were pulling the old ducts out I realized they were worse than I thought. There were numerous holes and nothing was screwed together and the crappy tape they used in 1976 was long deteriorated and I was losing a gob of air into my attic. I was conflicted, pissed at the crappy work all the those years ago but excited by the prospect of a quicker return on my investment by blowing more cold air into my house and not into my attic. I feel for my friend and I have been contemplating that situation. I still believe I would intervene given a similar situation, I just think that could be someone’s sister or daughter or friend and I would go ballistic if I saw such a thing happen to my wife or sister. I hope that a situation like that never presents itself to me because the idea of going to jail and having to deal with a situation like that scares the shit out of me.

Be careful out there friends, call 911 early and holler for others to help as well, but please do not turn the other cheek, picture your sister or your Mom and you will do the right thing, no matter the consequences.

What in the world is going on!

So this morning I was checking in on my Facebook, I did not look much over the weekend and found a CRAZY, SCARY and DISTURBING story posted by a friend about a situation her husband found himself in. It made my heart sad as I read it. Below is my friends post and after that are more thoughts from me, I have removed names as a courtesy.
A lesson learned, that I must share with my friends.


Hi Friends! I want to share with you what happened to my husband last week. I want to share with you so that you can learn from his experience, and in turn pass on the caution.

While in Chicago last week for business, my husband went to a bar with some colleagues after dinner. This Irish pub was in a good part of town, visited the night before by the men he was with, and had no warning signs that it was not a safe place to be. When he is out like this, he orders one drink that will take a while to finish so he is sure to not over drink. In this case, he ordered a draft Guinness.

While there, he and the two men he was with were slipped something in their drinks. We assume it was GHB ("the date rape drug"). None of the men have memory of leaving the bar, or getting home. Fortunately, for the other two men, they took forgotten cab rides and made it back to their hotels safely, my husband, however, did not.

With no memory, he does not know what steps he took that lead him from having a Guinness to being assaulted and robbed. What we do know is that the Lord protected him and got him back to his hotel safely in the end.

From the best we can figure he was about 20 miles from his hotel when the taxi found him (the Irish pub was less than two miles from his hotel). We do not know exactly how he got to that place, or how he was hurt. The doctor confirmed that the bruising on his leg and back are not from a fall as they are too deep. He advised that the sprained ankle and shin splints are from walking hard and fast, and far.

What he does remember is being alone and very scared on a dark street when a cab came by. He was barely able to say his hotel's name. The Lord sent that cab. If only the driver knew that he may well have saved his life that night.

Upon arriving at the hotel he was again sent an angel in the form of the security guard who paid the fare and protected him from an irate driver. The guard said that he was shaking and quite impaired in a different way than having just been drunk.

Whoever did this to my husband, took everything off of his person - wallet, card case, receipts, pen, note pad, etc. Everything that was in his suit pockets, with the exception of his room key was taken. In the early morning hours the thieves drained our bank account (and then some thanks to over-draft protection), and attempted to use our credit cards.

In the mean time, as his wife, I knew that something was wrong when I had no communication from him since dinner that night. We have a communication plan in place when he travels so we know each other are safe. And, clearly, by midnight that night, I knew something was wrong. I hope no wife has to experience the fear and worry I did that next morning. I could not find him and could see our bank account had been drained. While on hold with the Chicago PD, he called in. I could barely understand him and at that point he had no idea what had happened to him the night before.

In the end, he was able to fly home thanks to another angel at Delta and very kind TSA officers. The Lord got him back to Montgomery Friday night - shaken and injured, but alive.

We are now dealing with the clean up of all of this...no access to credit, and a limited bank account until the investigation on their end is complete. But...that' just stuff. Our family is still whole. We are struggling emotionally with it right now. Physically he is still very sore and bruised, but was able to walk with no pain today. I am having a tough time seeing him leave in the morning. I always ask the Lord to bring him home safely every day, but had a comfort that him coming home was a given. I now know that is not the case and that at anytime life as we live it can be gone.

I think the Lord was getting our attention to better appreciate Him and each other; and to not be so focused on "worldy" things.

So...here are a few lessons I hope you will take to heart when you travel, or if you are just out one night:


• Have a "buddy"; someone that will not leave you, and you will not leave
• Unless you are with a group, just go back to your hotel after dinner
• Do not accept a drink from a stranger, or leave your drink alone
• If you want an "open" drink, order it directly from the bar tender, watch it being made and have it handed   directly to you
• If you have a waitress, order an unopened beer (we are quite certain the drug was put into his Guinness draft)
• When traveling, keep a copy of your passport tucked safely in your luggage so you have a copy of your id (this with a police report will allow you to fly)
• Do not have an ATM/debit pin number that can be found on your id (his was his birth year)


I pray that none of you experience what we have. And, we pray for the thugs that did this to him. May the Lord's judgment on them be swift. May they not be allowed to do what they did to another. And, may the Lord speak to their hearts to come to Him and away from the devil's ways.

I was sitting there eating my oatmeal almost in tears, for myriad reasons. Mainly I was hurting for my friends and their situation, thank God in the end the Angels were sent and brought him back home. Then I started remembering my days in the military traveling the world, OUTSIDE the United States. We used to have the buddy system, we always went out in groups, we tried to have someone stay sober, we drank from unopened cans and bottles and we carried only our ID and some cash, some in each pocket and some in our socks keeping our ID company. This were in the days before ATM’s and before credit cards were common and even if you had them they mostly did not work overseas anyway. These simple procedures seemed like simple common sense at the time, because we were visiting places like Istanbul Turkey, Cartagena Columbia, Jamaica, Abu Dhabi, Egypt and any other number of places – places that we knew were dangerous and being young and dumb we were always going to the bad areas of town that were supposed to be off limits. It was a “goes without saying” in those places but I would never consider instituting such security policies in Chicago, and I have been to a number of bars in that town as well.

Then I got to wondering about what in the hell is going on now a days in our Great Country. I was talking to another friend about this today and she had heard of this before and that kinda indicates that it might be more common than we know, or want to admit. So, at this point I am just mad, and it makes me sad to hear this story, it makes me sad that I may have to change the way I live my life, it makes me sad for others who may change the way they live their lives. This is the United States of America, we should not have to worry about this type of attack. It used to be that in the bad areas of town you had to be cautious but in a perfectly normal part of town in a perfectly normal bar we did not have to worry about getting slipped a mickey and then rolled. It makes me wonder about how coordinated and obviously well orchestrated this madness was, hell that could have been my fountain drink of diet coke or a sweet tea. I for one refuse to live my life in fear, I am also not a naïve kid and will have a heightened awareness about what I am doing and where I am doing it from now on.  There is another blog coming soon about another crazy situation that is hard to believe.

My heart goes out to ya and Bride and I are raising up some prayers for you and your family and I want everyone to BE CAREFUL out there, it is obviously not as safe as we thought.

Not much to say lately, I guess

Seems it has been a long stretch since my last posting here, I have covered a lot of ground since I repaired my garage door and reported on the USA today article about everyone leaving the social networking sites. I was planning on writing an oratory about turning 45, which on did on Valentines Day, but I did not write. I was planning to write an oratory about passing one year of writing oratories, but I did not write. There have been a couple of other topics I wanted to write about as well, but did not write. Not sure, what is going on with me or maybe I am too engrossed in my Parks project and working on the jalopy. I realize I have been neglecting the Oatmeal Oratory so I am committing to producing more content for it. Yesterday I was not feeling so hot so I completed this today and here it is.

So, about turning 45 – seemed like any other day to me. I think that this is the age that the midlife crazies are supposed to set in right? Have not seen them arrive yet, kind of nervous thinking about what that period may look like for me. I do not want to relive any of my younger days, those oats have been sown and I see no sense in checking in on those fields of amber grain. I cannot afford a Corvette so I do not see me rushing out to buy to a new car. I quit drinking a very long time ago and quit smoking just 3 years ago so I do not see me resorting to either of those. I am more in love with my Bride than I was 22 years ago when I met her and I do not see that changing at all. I am not sure how the midlife crisis will manifest itself with me, that I suppose is why I am somewhat nervous by its approach. Who knows, maybe it will pass me by and I will be unaffected. I suspect that is what will happen and here is why.

Of the folks that I know who went off the deep end at mid life they all had a pretty common theme going on. Regrets spanned over their lives. Regrets about not getting the chance to do this, see that, or date her or the regret of marrying someone for the wrong reasons or even the wrong person. I have none of those issues. I found girls, alcohol and pot at a young age and went full tilt until I could take no more. Being in the Navy afforded me opportunities that my small hometown would not have allowed. Opportunities that proved great learning experiences and others that were somewhat self destructive, they were all there for me to choose from. I took gigantic helpings of both. I tried to go on every tour that was available to us Sailors when we were overseas. I wanted to see the culture of different places in the world. I wanted to sample the drink and the women in all these different places in the world as well, and did. I got to see things like the Sistine Chapel ceiling, I stared for what seemed like days. I got to stand in the valley of the kings and climb on the pyramids. I have been to Rio and I have been to Jamica, I have been all over the world.  Nope, I have not one regret in my life and am the most content I have ever been.

I am more in touch with who I am now than ever before and I like who I have become. I am not saying I liked, or disliked, who I was up until now but today is the best day of my life. That is until tomorrow and then that will be the best day of my life. I have found that this ride is so cool, if we just slow down and examine it. Not for what we want it to be but for what it is. What is actually going on is where we need to look, if we spend our time on coulda, shoulda or woulda’s we are missing the ride. None of that matters in the here and now, it only matters in that you can make changes in your life to make those into realities in your life. So many people get hung up on what they want their lives to be instead of living the lives we actually have – time wasted in my opinion. Today, right now, right this very second is life, it could be gone that quick. Bam a heart attack or cancer or some other litany of maladies that are life threatening and then what do you have – regret. Regret that you were waiting until things were right before you did this or did that – not me friends, I am living each day and each moment and suggest you do the same.

So I also wanted to talk about being at this blog thing for over a year now, 161 oratories down and who knows how many to go. I have been negligent lately but I am rededicating myself to write more, not for you but for me. I find these things very cathartic, a self healing mechanism if you will – and I might. I had no idea this would last this long when I started. I had no idea I would be writing about getting my first year under my belt. When I started I suspected I would run out of things to say after a few weeks. In the beginning I was pounding them out three a week, I do not think I will get back to that volume but I do want to do more of them. The topics will be as they always have been, all over the place and completely dependant on what I feel like talking about. I have talked about all manner of topics, I have even played with fire with a few political ones. Here is a link to that very first one http://mroatmealsoratories.blogspot.com/2009/02/what-i-saw-in-my-bowl-of-oatmeal-this.html

I have started another project that is bringing me A LOT of satisfaction and that is my Day in Park blog at http://www.jaxparx.com/. It has me visiting every park in the largest urban park system in the country – that is Jacksonville Florida. I am a bit over 70 visited out of nearly 400. I started off strong with a ton of visits in that first month but have slowed down considerably. I initially gave myself three years to get it done but have backed off that since then. I am not in a race so why do I need a deadline? I also initially thought that I would become this outspoken advocate for the parks system. I am not so sure that is what I want to be though. I find that every time I brush up against government I get pissed off, be it local, state or federal. In my opinion, all of the politicians (except my Sister who is Champaign County Auditor in Ohio) are crooked and up to something that is not in my best interest. I am so sick of hearing, well it is just not that simple. To which I respond – why not?

Anyway, I fear that if I become an advocate for the park system I will be brushing up against a bureaucracy that will no doubt piss me off. I did not start this project to get pissed off, I am doing it to honor my Mom and Dad. I am convinced now that my goal with this project is to blog about the conditions in the parks, as they are. Not how I think they ought to be or how I think they could be, but how they actually are the day I decide to visit. I am hopeful that someone else picks up the mantle and uses the information I provide on my blog and becomes the advocate, the champion of the cause. I will do the initial work of evaluating but I will have to let someone else lead the charge, someone who is better equipped and can deal city hall to make the system better. We have an outstanding Park system in Jacksonville and I have REALLY enjoyed seeing the ones I have visited so far. I am looking forward to seeing them all. Well that looks like enough for today, more to come my friends and remember – go outside and enjoy the day.