Smitty gets a gas grill, and gets all sentimental and emotional about his old grill.

Well, I certainly was not expecting to get emotional on my first use of a restored gas grill when I popped the first chunk of meat on it.  There were many choices for the first thing to cook, I even received from suggestions from friends on the Facebook.  I ended up deciding on a garlic and herb pork Tenderloin, which I just love anyway. 

Since this was the very first thing I had ever cooked on any gas grill I was a bit apprehensive.  I did not want to burn the first thing I tried, I also did not want to have it come out undercooked.  I have been cooking on a Weber kettle for so long I just know how much and where to put the charcoal to get the desired results for whatever I happen to be cooking. 

That no doubt came from years and years of cooking on a kettle with charcoal.  I have cooked all manner of things on that old kettle, burgers, dogs, steaks of all kinds, fish of all kinds, vegetables, pork tenderloins, pork loins, pork chops, bacon, veggie burgers, beer butt chicken, I mean pretty much everything.  

I remember very distinctly when I bought my first Weber Kettle, it was January of 1991.  It was actually the first grill of any kind I had purchased.  We had just moved Sandy from Baltimore to Jacksonville and I was being transferred from Norfolk to Bath Maine.  We pulled into Jax with a few items to last until the moving company brought our stuff.

I was able to stay about 7 days before I had to pack up and head to Norfolk and then onto Maine.  On the second to the last day Bride came home with an AMAZING looking rack of ribs and a disposable tin foil one use grill, supposedly to cook them on.  I kept saying no way and she ended up going out on the patio of our apartment and fired up the “grill”.

It did not take me long to wander out with a bucket of water to dump on that pitiful thing, she had not put the ribs on there yet.  I then proceeded to a Kmart that was only a few blocks away, where I found a Weber Kettle for 59 bucks. 

At the time we were young and poor as dirt and had like 100 bucks until my payday and she did not have a job yet.  Regardless, I bought that Weber and cooked those ribs and they were MAGNIFICENT!  We could ill afford that grill at that moment in time but the thought of those ribs on a tin foil grill, well I just could not do it, not for what she paid for the ribs in the first place.

That first kettle was with us for 17 years before one of the aluminum legs finally gave up on me.  It sat outside in the elements, pretty much ignored as far as maintenance and protection went for its whole life.  I remember writing Weber to articulate my disappointment in their product, lasting only 17 years.  My true hope was to convince them to provide me a coupon or a deeply discounted offer for a new one.

That is not what happened at all.  I got a nice letter back singing my praises for my love of their grill, I had spoken in my letter about what a loyal and faithful servant it had been to me over those years.  And then, in the last line of the letter they reminded me that the grill comes with a 15 year guarantee and that was it, no break on it replacement was to be had.

I was undeterred, I went out and bought another, identical to the first with the exception of improved air vents on the bottom.  Instead of three separate vents operated independently there was now one handle that controlled all three vents simultaneously, I feature I grew to appreciate.   

It was not long after buying this one when I switched over to a cast iron replacement cooking surface.  The wires ones that come stock would only last a year or two before needing replaced and initially I just wanted a longer wearing part.  Little did I realize how much better the cast iron would be to cook on.  more consistent heat, easier to clean and never wear out – I was happy.

Back to today, as I was turning on the gas for the new grill I started contemplating, I wondered how many pounds of charcoal had I purchased and used over the years in my Weber kettles?  How big would the pile of Kingsford briquets would that be?  I am a Kingsford dude exclusively for the charcoal.  How big would the pile of ashes be?  How much money had I spent on all that charcoal?  I determined the answer to all three of those questions was a shit ton and half.

Then I started thinking about all the things I had cooked over the years.  How many hamburgers, how many steaks, how many pieces of fish and how many beer butt chickens.  The only one I knew for sure was beer but chickens, it was 2.  How many slices of cheese for the burgers, how much relish for the dogs, and how much marinade for the steaks? 

I am sure I have ruined many things on those kettles over the years, although none come to mind immediately.  How many things did I over cook?  How many were undercooked?  And how many times did I empty the ash holder that hung precariously below the three vent holes?  SO MANY unanswered questions, in some ways I wished I had kept track, that’s the engineer in me, I think.  In other ways, I am glad I didn’t.

I then started thinking about how many of my friends and family have eaten things I cooked on those kettles.  I suspect over time pretty much everyone I know had something off one of both of those grills.  How many good times, how many great times, how many pool parties, how many family gatherings, how many intimate moments with friends.  Too many is the answer to that question.  I have been so blessed with so many great friends in my life and that is a fact.

After our first pork tenderloin Bride says it is probably time to get rid of the charcoal grill.  She says that right out of the blue and with no deference to the service that thing has provided us.  Get rid of it, I just can’t do it.  Maybe someday I will or could, but I don’t see that day any time in our near future.   it will be getting a good thorough cleaning and the cast iron oiled up really well this weekend and tucked away in the corner of the shed for the time being.

I am sure I will build the same relationship with this new to me grill.  It is a 2001 model of the Weber Genesis gold and after refurbishing it has done a fine job so far.  I have cooked one pork tenderloin, eight Hebrew National hot dogs and about a pound and half of thick cut applewood bacon and it all came out fine.  I look forward to cooking for friends on this and building those memories with friends to cherish.   

Might throw some salmon on this weekend, anyone want to be the first guest who gets something I cooked on my new grill?

  

I am so fucking conflicted about Afghanistan right now.

 

So much loss of life is what is standing out for me today, in the longest war that the United States has ever been in.   Vietnam is very close in second place in duration, we spent 19 years and four months.  Compared to 19 years 10 months for Afghanistan.  Just as comparatives, the Revolutionary war where we fought for our very country lasted 8 years 5 months and we had very little by way of technology to fight that war.  WW2 was a scant 3 years, 8 months, WW1 was 1 year, 7 months. 

 

Russia spent 9 years and one month in Afghanistan starting in 1979.  They lost in the neighborhood of 15,000 troops with 35,000 injured.   35,000 Russians officially injured, wow.  Since we arrived in Afghanistan, nearly a quarter of a million people, including everyone on all sides, have died.   Somewhere north of 70,000 of them were civilians.  2448 American military (as of April 2021) and another 3846 American contractors.  Over 1,000 NATO and allied forces, over 400 aid workers, and 72 journalists

 

We sent over 775,000 American service men and women into that country over the time we were there.   I have read stories of fathers and sons both serving there, sometimes at the same time.  I ask you to ponder that for a moment and let it sink in.   384,000 of them did at least one tour, 222,000 did two tours and nearly 100,000 did three.  40,000 did four tours, 16,000 did five and over 1,000 did more than 5.  More than 5 tours, these Brothers and Sisters deserve even more credit.  I mean even the freaking coast guard was there for fucks sake!

 

The numbers we claim were injured are closer 21,000 but I would argue strenuously that number is 100% complete bullshit.   War is hell as we have heard and EVERY SINGLE service member who spent time there was impacted (injured) in one way or another whether the wounds were visible or not. My heart of with you hero’s who struggle every day and I pray to the universe that you don’t wind up being one of the 22 every day who decide, for whatever horrific reasons, to take their own life.

 

Think about the rippling effects of that number, 775,000 service men and women.  A big ole bunch of them had two parents, probably some siblings.  A big ole bunch had spouses and children, there were many, many  friends and loved ones.  If every service member had just 5 people who cared about them that is 3,875,000 who were impacted, in one way or another, by the down stream effects of the war there.  Then think about all the folks who took care and are taking care of our veterans, hundreds of thousands more folks impacted.  I simply cannot imagine any American does not know someone who was there or who was impacted by the down stream effects.

 

Then we get to the money, because that is always in the mix in one way or another.  The US has spent a big ole bunch of money.  The defense department is north of $820,000,000,0000 and reconstruction projects by other government agencies have spent north of $131,000,000,000.  Germany and the UK have sunk nearly $50 billion and NATO spent about $72 million worth of supplies and equipment.  All dumped into a country roughly the size of Texas.  Afghanistan is 252,071 square miles and Texas is 268, 956 square miles. 

 

I cannot help but wonder why.  Why did so many have to die?  Why did so many have to be injured, visible or not?  Why did so much money need to be spent?  Why all the suffering?   This makes me sad, sad for the world as no one I suspect was left unscathed in one way or another by this war.

 

While I am overjoyed that our direct involvement is over and super saddened by what this means for the loved ones of those who lost their lives.  What does it mean for those families who are living with the injured service members, some severely injured.  I am saddened by the thought of all my Brothers and Sisters who lost best friends, who lost good people they loved and respected both up and down the chain of command.  I just cannot imagine the confusion and pain that they must be left with, what was it all for? 

 

I am also super saddened and afraid about the progress made for women in Afghanistan, that has come to an end and the burqas will be right back.  Not sure if the personal freedoms of women there is the saddest thing but it has to be near the top of the list.  Imagine gaining that level of freedom and then have it yanked away.  Who do ya think they will blame, the Taliban?  The United States?  ANYONE else who brought them a false hope of a future that is simply not to be.  And we wonder why so many in the middle east hate the United States, how many times would it take you getting the rug pulled out before you rose up in rebellion?  It just fucking saddens me!

 

How did fighting there strengthen our place in the world?  How were we protecting our freedoms here at home?   How have we made the world a better place due to our leadership?  I don’t have those answers, I don’t think those answers exist truth be told – at least not to normal folks.   Now for those who profited from it, that is a different story.  Those whose purpose to build war fighting things, planes, tanks, bombs, guns and all the rest – now they probably don’t have any issues, other than the cash cow teat just dried up – hopefully.

  

They are the likes of Lockheed Martin, Raytheon Technologies, General Dynamics, Boeing, Northrup Grumman round out the top 5 with a total of 158,000,000,000 in contracts with the defense department.  Be wary in the coming months and years for a new enemy to miraculously appear that will require the services of these companies.  You can predict it but watching the stocks of these companies, they will hit a point and their lobbyists will go to work with a campaign that will be even easier to perpetrate now we have the insidiousness of social media – WATCH OUT FOR IT!

 

So what are lessons, what are the takeaways from all of this.  Well we have all heard that if you don’t understand history you are bound to repeat it.  There are a lot of debates about the attribution of that phrase.  The Irish statesman Edmund Burke is often misquoted as having said, “Those who don’t know history are destined to repeat it.” Spanish philosopher George Santayana is credited with the aphorism, “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it,” while British statesman Winston Churchill wrote, “Those that fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it.”

 

Regardless who said it first or best what will our lesson be here?   We OBVIOUSLY did not learn a fucking thing from the second longest war, Vietnam.  What will stop us from a three peat of the absolute misery that is war?   So many pictures coming out of Afghanistan that I have seen before as Saigon fell.  Another time we quit because of whatever reasons, what the fuck.  Another instance of what in the fuck were we doing there in the first place.  One does not have a shitty exit from a shitty situation if one does not play in the shitty game in the first place.   

I don't know how many of you recall a man named Charlie Wilson, you should read the book Charlie Wilsons War - get one printed before they made the movie.  The Taliban is really nothing more than the Mujahideen that we HEAVILY supported and funded in Afghanistan during time Russia was fighting in the country.  Reagan not wanting to cede any ground to the evil empire as he called the Soviet Union.  They are an enemy of our our own making and the United States bears a great deal of responsibility for their existence and actions over time, including what is going on now.  

      

I wonder if we will ever learn that Democracy can NEVER work as a top down approach.  Democracy can ONLY work when it comes from a ground swell of the people.  There are more than enough examples of that to prove it.  I wonder where the lines are about leading in the world with American values starts and where it stops.  We cannot be the police for the world, that much is clear.  I wonder if we ever learn that regardless of what we might think about how a country governs itself, it is their’s to govern – period. 

 

I mean the very tenants of our country talk about freedom – that means the right to choose and do as we want.  Shouldn’t that hold true for others in other countries?   Where is the line, when do we go in to make a difference and where is the line where we walk away and not get involved?   As a Proud American and Veteran I struggle with this one.   If the majority of Afghanistan people support the Taliban and their rule than who are we to interfere?  I think the speed at which they took their country back is evidence that most want that in their country. 

 

But the suffering and oppression, especially of women, how do we reconcile that?  I have no idea!  One thing I know is that we cannot go back and change our involvement in the war in Afghanistan so maybe it is more of a theoretical argument left to the scholars to sort out in the decades ahead.  There will be no lack of opinions on that I am sure.  The lessons learned are for preparing you for what is next and what we do next time something like Afghanistan pops up. 

 

I am praying to universe that it does not happen but I suspect it will, even in my lifetime.  I mean why wouldn’t I?  The United Stated has been at war with someone for 222 of our 239 years of existence.  I am by no means an isolationist but I really do feel we the people ought to be a HELL OF A LOT MORE VOCAL when our elected officials want to engage in these sort of my dick is bigger than your dick arguments turned into a shit load of war which has really only benefited those building the war fighting staff.

 

I am saddened and confused.  My heart goes out to all of my Brothers and Sisters who served there.  My heart goes out to all of my Brothers and Sisters who died there.  My heart goes out to all of my Brothers and Sisters who came back broken or injured, seen and unseen.  My heart goes out to all the families of those brave military members.  My heart goes out to all the friends of those brave military members. 

 

We should EXPECT better and we ABSOLUTELY deserve better and should DEMAND better from our elected officials!  We need to get them out of the pockets of those in the military industrial complex that Dwight Eisenhower warned us about way back in the 50’s.   I am sickened and saddened by it all, they loss of life, the waste of money, the inability to learn from our past, all it!

Ya know I’m sure President Biden will take a shellacking for pulling our troops out.  But if we remember back President Bush couldn’t get us out in his second term, which I recall he said he would.  President Obama couldn’t get it done either, in either term, even though he said he would.  president Trump said he would as well, and couldn’t get it done.  So before we cast a bunch of stones at the current dude I just remind us other said they would and we supported them for saying it.  At least this one had the courage to do it, and he will no doubt pays high cost for that decision.

  I feel like I have more words, but I am going to stop here. 

What in the heck is Neck Hugging?

For those who know me I am sure you have heard me say I wanna “hug your neck”.  I wanted to type for a second about what that means to me, especially since it has all been so loudly amplified by the COVID times restrictions on our lives.  It means WAY more to me than just the physical actual act of giving someone a neck hug, although that is an important component of it.

 Like y’all, we have not been a fan of the isolation that has accompanied COVID times – AT ALL.   We are not happy about all of the things that we had to mash the pause button on in an effort to ensure we were not contributing to spreading the virus. We both felt strongly that we have to do our part as good citizens who live in society, supporting the greater good of our country is how I think about it. 

 It does not mean we have enjoyed any part of it, we feel it is our obligation as an Americans to contribute to the solution rather than compound the problem, regardless the situation.  The Rona is no joke, it is not the flu, it is not a hoax, and there are literally centuries worth of data showing masks reduce risk of airborne virus’s – I fucking hate wearing em, unless I am sanding things in the wood shop, but it is silly to argue about their efficacy.

 Anyway, we have now recognized many of the things we simply took for granted that were very important components of our lives PC (pre-COVID).  For example, the simple act of going out to eat.  We love local places that have unique and fabulous dishes.  To spend time enjoying a meal prepared by a friend or loved one who puts their heart and soul into making it is an art form in my mind. 

 It is a blessing and I will even say a spiritual experience, I mean what truer form of love is there than creating something from ones heart that literally sustains us?  A fabulous meal is a blessing for many reasons, whether it be at someone’s home or in that small local restaurant where you know the cook. 

 Or simply enjoying live music, regardless the venue.  We have always enjoyed live concerts, mostly in the smaller more intimate settings rather than large music festivals.  Music is such a huge part of my life, I have it going all day at work, I have it on in the car and we mostly watch music videos on the boob tube, don’t google that by the way 😊. 

 For me, at its core, neck hugging is about sharing space with people I love and care about.  In the later parts of last year Bride and I started evaluating our risk profiles as it relates to the Rona.  We have many loved ones who have been in isolation as well, some alone and some with their families.  We made the decision to see if there was a safe way to connect with them in the flesh.

 That led us to allow a select few people we love into our home, friends new and old.  The simply act of enjoying a meal together, the small talk that happens around a dinner table or outside at a restaurant on the couch with paper plates eating wings is one of my favorite things and is included in my definition of neck hugging.

 To be able to sit around playing games, be that playing pool, playing Yahtzee, or Rummy or even a new game.  Over Christmas we learned a new game from a dear friend called five crowns, which is sort of rummy like but requires much more strategic thinking – we liked it.  Again, this is included in my definition of neck hugging.    

 Or just sitting around talking about meaningless things, making fun of things or providing color commentary on something or someone.  Having a cold or iced beverage and being silly with each other.  Making fun of my painted toes without ever asking why I paint them.  hahaa, the idle intimate chatter and banter is pure gold and also neck hugging.  

 The stories, old and new, that are shared, both good and bad and painful, all make up who we are.  The experiences and stories from our individual, shared, and collective journey’s through life can be so intimate and meaningful, especially when shared with ones we love.  They rest at the heart of exploring the human condition in my opinion.      

 The 4 people we had in our home late last year, each brought with them love, for themselves, for us and for life.  It seems like such a silly thing to have taken for granted pre COVID.  And maybe I didn’t and maybe the absence of it for so long amplified the importance to me.  I want to thank Jen, Kathy, Joni and Kim for bringing with them the reminder about the importance of sharing space with those we love and pushing that back to the forefront for me, isolation has warped all our brains.

 Sharing space with those we love, is simply the best part of life.  Being able to be our true selves, with all walls and facades removed.  With our flaws, the true weirdness, the foibles, the greatness and the love all exposed is my favorite part of this game called life and our journey through it.

 So, if you hear me use the term Id like to hug your neck or I need some neck hugging now you will understand that for me it means so much more than the physical act, although I LOVE that part as well.