I DO NOT GIVE A DAMN!!!

I have not looked at the TV much since the crazy MF’ers up in Boston set off a bomb at the finish line.  There have been some stories rolling through my facebook feed telling stories though.  I consider myself ill-informed on the topic of the Boston bombing.  I have raised up some prayers for those who were killed and those who lost loved ones and for those who were injured and will carry the scars of that day with them forever, whatever form those scars take. 

I saw something attributed to Mr. Rogers on the old interwebs.  Here it is. 

When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping." To this day, especially in times of "disaster," I remember my mother's words and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers – so many caring people in this world."

There were hundreds of helpers!!  

I also saw something from Patton Oswald, who by the way I have never thought was that funny but this was poignant.  Here it is. 

“I remember, when 9/11 went down, my reaction was, "Well, I've had it with humanity."

But I was wrong. I don't know what's going to be revealed to be behind all of this mayhem. One human insect or a poisonous mass of broken sociopaths.

But here's what I DO know. If it's one person or a HUNDRED people, that number is not even a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a percent of the population on this planet. You watch the videos of the carnage and there are people running TOWARDS the destruction to help out. (Thanks FAKE Gallery founder and owner Paul Kozlowski for pointing this out to me). This is a giant planet and we're lucky to live on it but there are prices and penalties incurred for the daily miracle of existence. One of them is, every once in awhile, the wiring of a tiny sliver of the species gets snarled and they're pointed towards darkness.

But the vast majority stands against that darkness and, like white blood cells attacking a virus, they dilute and weaken and eventually wash away the evil doers and, more importantly, the damage they wreak. This is beyond religion or creed or nation. We would not be here if humanity were inherently evil. We'd have eaten ourselves alive long ago.

So when you spot violence, or bigotry, or intolerance or fear or just garden-variety misogyny, hatred or ignorance, just look it in the eye and think, "The good outnumber you, and we always will."

For me, that sums up what it is to be an American, we are helpers and we outnumber the evil bastards that roam our planet with us.

Something I saw today on the facebook got me riled up again about the way the media reacts to such things.  It is fucking shameful that they glorify the worthless bags of shit that perpetrate terror on our society.  Even the word terror pisses me off!  These guys, foreign and domestic, are mass murders, no different than Hilter, other than in the numbers.  They believe in something and are committed to their  cause, as committed or more than we are to protect our way of life.  When was it changed, changed from what it is, mass murderer, to terrorist and why?  Terrorist is word used by the media to get ratings.  It is used by the government to identify certain of those among us.  I believe the word is already overused and when a word gets overused it loses its effectiveness.   These people are killers, plain and simple and I don’t need the White house or the media to tell me that is was terrorism. 

Another thing, I could case less, less than I would a puss filled festering boil on some nasty toe, about ANY BIT OF information about these two shit birds.  The media hypes these guys up and they have gotten their 15 minutes of fame.  Our young people see this and it is a way for them to get their 15 minutes of fame.  It becomes the “norm”, my life is just like his, maybe I should do the same thing.  I think it the most terrible of disservices we can do, talk about the murderers.  Other than to let us know what the sentence was and when they have been executed.  I don’t want to know, and REFUSE to watch anything else about them.  Don’t care where they are from, don’t care why they are here, don’t care about their parents, uncles, neighbor’s friends or teachers.  I don’t give a shit!!     To give them anything more than that is to give them what they want, perpetual news coverage and an extended bit of fame for a cowardly act.      

I know there have been lots of stories about the helpers, and I appreciate that.  I wish there was a way they could come back in a few months’ time to talk to survivors, folks who helped out and were fearless in the face of adversity.  I would like to know the impact this had on their lives, how did it affect them at work, at home, in church.  I want to hear the story of the guy whose leg had every bit of flesh blown off of it.  How will his recovery go, will he become friends with the man in the cowboy hat who saved his life?  Tell me the stories about us, because Damn it there are more helpers and people who stand facing the darkness of the world around us – and there will always be more of us than there are them and that is what I care about.    

On a lighter note, I did see something about Boston.  I can’t remember exactly but basically I will not act up when I am Boston.  They will shut the city down, everything will stop – buses, subways, public and private transportation, work, schools everything and then ask the citizenry to lock themselves up while they will bring in whatever resources necessary to hunt you down.  Talk about the American way, props to the mayor of Boston! 

My friend, Alison Bodey - part II

After reading my first blog about my friend Alison, I saw that I had done what the Sherriff had done.  Like him, I made a snap decision and reported the facts.  It seems my first blog was not well thought out and just rambled.  My heart was seared with the immediacy of the pain I was feeling for the loss of my friend.  I want to apologize to the Sherriff.  I know he was just doing his job but man, with the complete shock of losing a friend the last thing I wanted to read as the last line was that she was not wearing her seatbelt.  Like it was her fault because she wasn’t strapped in, who cares about that?  I guess in some way I was defensive of my friend, not wanting people to talk bad about her or hurt her feelings in anyway.

I am amazed by the number of people who reached out to me about my last blog.  I even reconnected with folks I remember from those trips to Morehead State back in the day.  I have had a hard time the last few days, as this has hit me harder than I would have thought.  I suppose one does not really think about such things and how hard they will be when they happen.  I am experiencing a weird mix of emotions.  Every time I think about it, about her, about her kids and about her death it just seems crazy and I am unsure how I should act, what I should do.  I have stared at Google maps looking for where I think it happened, just east of Millerstown road on Zimmerman is what I hear.  I have zoomed in to look at every foot of that road, not sure what I am looking for, and obviously there won’t be real time pictures of the accident.  There won’t be skid marks I could analyze, there is nothing, nothing but the trees and fields, same thing that has always been along that stretch of road.      

I have electronically chatted with her oldest daughter, Caitlin.  I think that is cool – I suppose that is more for my own selfish reasons, trying to hold onto something that was, and is not there now.  Still I think it is cool.  She is the spitting image of her Mom.  From reading some of her posts on FB I suspect she has a lot of the same attitudes, outlooks and life philosophies as well.  Good for you Caitlin because those are some of the attributes that made your Mom who she was.  I received a very nice email from my blog from a friend of Alison’s from Myrtle tree Baptist Church, telling about the influence Alison had on her.  It was a very touching email.   It seems weird for me to even be thinking about Alison and all the times we had back in the day and since we started our journey together but each of us have followed our own very different paths in life.  Her journey took her back to our hometown, mine took me literally around the world and I could never imagine moving back to our hometown.    

Why is it that we allow the wrong things to dominate our lives?  Why are we in such a hurry to go and to do?  Why… why not slow down a bit and realize the stupid shit most of us are chasing is the wrong stuff!  I think Alison understood that better than most.  That syndrome seems to get worse the older we get, our bodies grow old, we get set in our ways and we seem to forget the important things in life.  I hope each of you can hold onto your childhood spirit, be young and mischievous, adventurous and light hearted.  At least try to be that for one day, just one day and do it in remembrance of Alison Bodey!   I had to find it but I remembered a quote from John Steinbeck from “The Winter of Our Discontent” that I liked when I read it and I think is perfect here: 

It's so much darker when a light goes out than it would have been if it had never shone.”

The world just seems a little grayer, a darker place without her in it anymore. 

I suppose the most important question one can ask at times like this is, did they really live life?  I guess at this point in my life I should know, or at least understand what it means to lose someone that is dear to me.  It never seems to fail that when I tell myself that, intellectually I know it to be true, death is the inevitable end of life for all of us.  But loss is not about the intellectuality of things.  Loss is about the gaping hole left in one’s heart when our friends and family pass away.  Sad thing is, one can never really repair the holes this kind of loss brings.  All we can do is to learn to live our lives around the holes.  On more than one occasion after a loss, I have wondered, wouldn’t it be cool if we could have just one more conversation.  One more chance to ask the things we never thought we should, one more chance to ask the things that are important in our lives.  Wouldn’t it be a wonderful thing to get one more chance to make up for the time we think we have? 

I am reminded of a favorite scene from a movie called “Waking Ned Devine” that Bride and I just watched again recently.  One of the main characters, Jackie O’Shea, was talking at a funeral: 

“Michael O'Sullivan was my great friend.  But I don't ever remember telling him that. The words that are spoken at a funeral are spoken too late for the man who is dead. What a wonderful thing it would be to visit your own funeral. To sit at the front and hear what was said, maybe say a few things yourself. Michael and I grew old together. But at times, when we laughed, we grew young. If he was here now, if he could hear what I say, I'd congratulate him on being a great man, and thank him for being a friend.”

I think that is how I feel about Alison.  She was a great friend, but I don’t think I ever told her so, at least not so simpley stated.  I want to thank her for being my friend, I am better for having known her.   

“Michael O'Sullivan was my great friend, but I don't ever remember telling him that.” 

That is a sad commentary really.  How many people in our lives do we consider to be great friends and we never tell them that, not in a meaningful way anyway.   What is it that we can do to ensure our friends know how we feel about them?  If you have never watched that movie, you must go and rent it, it is on my top 10 – perfect justice all the way around at the end of that movie.     

Bride asked me if I’d like to go to her funeral.  I was unsure of what that answer should be.  It really turned out to be a moot point, I have to travel to Canada for work on the day of her funeral.  I wondered if I would want to go if I did not have a prior work commitment.  It has been a long, long time since we have seen each other.  I do not know her kids, her parents are gone.  I wondered if it would be just for my own sense of closure.  I am not big on funerals, even less excited about viewings, although my Sister told me the casket was done with Pink Floyd which I would have liked to have seen.  I did not even go over to the casket at my Dad’s viewing.  I did that once when I was younger, and then that was the last image I had of that person.  For me, I do not want the rest of my days with the image of what is left of someone I loved, propped up in a box for all to see.  I refuse to remember my friends like that.  I choose to remember them in life, not death.  Would I go, I think I would.  While I can use my mind’s eye to remember my friend and the parts of the journey of life we shared, it would be fun to listen to others tell their stories and shared experiences with Alison.

After reading back through this I suppose this is still about me mourning the loss of my great friend and not yet a tribute to her – I am working on it.   

                                                     
Below is a picture from one of her albums on FB, adorable donkeys – who has an album called adorable donkeys?

Alison Bodey – Rest in Peace my old friend

I have known Alison Bodey pretty much as long as I have been alive.  We were both Millerstown rats, I was born there and moved away when I was four.  She was born there (I am pretty sure) and stayed for a long time.  I moved back later when I was about 14 or 15, moved in with Granny in the purple house because I don’t think anyone could tolerate my dumbassedness.   We had a lot of great times back in the day, we liked each other, we hated each other and for a short time we loved each other.  She was killed Thursday morning in a single car accident with her daughter in the car.  Here is the article from the paper in Springfield. 

A St. Paris woman was killed early Thursday morning when she lost control of her vehicle and overturned on Zimmerman Road.

Alison Bumgardner, 47, was killed in a single-vehicle crash when her 1997 GMC van went off the west side of the road and overturned shortly before 7 a.m. in the 6000 block of Zimmerman Road in Mad River Twp. in Champaign County, said Matt Melvin, Champaign County sheriff.

A second woman, Cailtin Woodrum, 26, was a passenger in the vehicle and was taken by ambulance to Mercy Memorial Hospital in Urbana, where she was treated for non-life-threatening injuries.

Bumgardner was headed south on Zimmerman Road when she lost control, and she was partially ejected from the driver’s side of the vehicle, Melvin said. Champaign County Coroner Josh Richards pronounced her dead at the scene.

Deputies are still investigating the crash, but it doesn’t appear that drugs or alcohol were involved. Some snow was on the road, but it’s not clear what role, if any, the weather might have played in the accident, Melvin said.

Neither Bumgardner nor Woodrum appeared to be wearing a seat belt during the crash, Melvin said.

Seems so sanitary, it is really weird for me to read that.  I Google earthed the 6000 block of Zimmerman road, which I have driven on hundreds of times.  I could not tell me exactly where that is, neither could Bing maps.  I rolled over my first very first car (1974 Vega) on Zimmerman road, close to Millerstown road.  I wonder how far she was away from that spot when she died?   Deputy Melvin’s report is so to the point, does not appear that drugs or alcohol were involved.  Not clear what role, if any, the weather might have played. 

This article is so flat, so devoid of emotion and feeling – it is the antithesis of who Alison Bodey was.  There is no mention of her likes, her loves and nothing of her life at all.  Nothing about the loves of her life, Kiara, Caitlin and Wyatt, there was also no mention of Pink Floyd, nothing about horses, nothing about her hobby’s, nothing about the pain she suffered with - nothing about her at all really – just that she was not wearing her fucking seatbelt, it was almost as if Deputy Melvin wrapped up her life with that worthless stupid little tidbit of information.  I don’t know him and I know he was just doing his job but you know what – I don’t care – I don’t like him for summing up my friends life with that ending statement – Fuck you Matt Melvin, Champaign County sheriff.

It is very hard for me to read that article, and even harder to talk about.  I have lost friends before, she is not the first but she is the closest friend I have lost.  I say closest, it almost seems weird to say but I am so glad we reconnected after all the years on FB without seeing or hearing from each other.  It was weird, almost as if no time had passed at all when we reconnected on Facebook.  I have written about her before on the oratory, I did not mention her by name but here is a link to that blog

http://mroatmealsoratories.blogspot.com/2012/01/not-sure-where-to-start-this-one-mr.html

I remember asking her if it was OK to blog about her post – her response, “I don't mind. Thanks for the prayers.  It’s the best thing going for me. :-) Faith, hope, prayer, and laughter.   I won't let it get the best of me.”  I remember she messaged me after I posted it – “I thought it was good, and I do see similarities in the writing. I prefer to call it rambling. And as far as anyone and the paths of their lives, it is simply amazing how little, insignificant (at the time) happenings (or things that didn't happen) can mold or shape us into decisions we make. I think the little things make more of an impact for the most part than some big things.”

We messaged a few times when her Dad got really sick last year, he passed November.  She shared her frustrations with her brothers handling of that, even before their dad passed.  I was mad at him for that, but as I told her losing parents has weird effects on folks, especially siblings.  I shared some of my own experiences from when I lost my Mom and Dad.  There are never any words that seem right at times like those though.  I told her all you can do is forgive, if you don’t it will erode your soul.  I hope she was able to forgive him before she died.              

I remember on one trip back to Ohio a few years ago I took lots of pictures, fall in Ohio is beautiful.  Anyway, one of the pictures I posted on FB was of her Dad’s cows.  DAMNIT, I miss my friend!  How is it that she was taken from us, she was one of the good ones!! She was always positive, always forging on, regardless of the obstacles.  How weird, I miss her a lot and a lot of people’s lives will have a gigantic hole that can never be filled.  I was looking though her pictures on FB and laughing, she was a very funny woman.  Her sarcastic wit was well honed, even back in the day.  I enjoyed those road trips up to Morehead Kentucky to see her when I was stationed in Norfolk in the 80’s. 

Here is the last message I got from Alison, this was December 2^nd 2012. 

Good afternoon now!! I am not doing too bad, all things considering. Starting to feel a little better.  At least I'm able to eat. I think most of the ulcers have disappeared finally. Although this medicine the dr put me on for the Crohn's has been making me very shaky, out of breath, and kinda agitated all the time. I've been back to work for a week now. And trying to go through stuff at Dad's when I have time. Still haven't spoken to my brother since the Memorial service. Oh well, if he wants to be that way, guess I don't have much of a say in it. Hope all is well with you. I laughed at the blue sky pic you posted. That was a good one. Wish it were blue here. It’s 55 but gray and rainy.

She used this picture a lot as her profile picture, I think it sums her up her life much better than Matt Melvin, Champaign County sheriff could ever do!

 

 

I will miss you old friend – love ya!!                                         

Ps. Sorry if this rambled more than normal – I am still a little freaked out!
                                           

5 people you would want to spend some time with, a weekend get away!

I saw this question on FB someplace where someone had asked what five people you would like to have come to a dinner party.  I thought, cool who would Mr. Oatmeal pick for that sort of thing.  I immediately went for Jesus, Muhammad and the Buddha but then I got to wondering, maybe those folks were not as popular and famous in their lifetimes as they are now.  Maybe they did not understand the impact of their lives so far into the future.  Maybe they were just normal guys that were just doing the right thing and some folks started following them.  I can’t imagine any of them had any idea what would come of their lives and the work they started.  I suppose that could be said about most figures we know from history, ancient or recent.  So, that lead me to start thinking about folks who at least seemed interesting or that I thought might be interesting in their own right.      
 

It has taken me a bit of pondering, there are so many that would be interesting to spend time with, at least in my opinion.

So here ya go.

Leonardo da Vinci – here was a man truly out of time, he was not of his age and if I believed – I say that he traveled back in time from some point in our not so distant future.   He was a genius in many areas as well – he was an inventor, engineer, architect, anatomist, scientist and philosopher.  He was a left brain kind of guy for sure.  BUT…………… He was also equally a right brainer - known for being a painter, musician, sculptor, architect, cartographer and writer.   Who else would have been able to conjure and create the famous “Mona Lisa” and the even more famous “The Last Supper”?   He is the quintessential definition of a Renaissance man.  He wrote the bulk of his notes backwards and in code, why?  What was he hiding or was he just messing with people heads, maybe he was also a comedian.  This is a man who snuck into graveyards at night to steal corpses and study human anatomy, to find out where the soul was.  I find him a complete and total dichotomy of his time.  I would love to have him spend some time on our age and then come to my weekend getaway.  I think it would be fascinating to get his “take on things” in today’s world.  Mostly I could just ask questions, I would be the annoying kid going why? why? why? 

Bill gates – I think he would be interesting not for what made him rich and famous but what he has done after he got rich and famous.   Here is a guy who can make an impact on world issues like no one has ever been able to do before him.  Think about the impact that $28,000,000,000 (28 Billion) dollars has had on our planet!  The Bill and Melinda Gates foundation has been working on some of the planets worst problems.  Problems most isolated Americans do not even know exist.  He has probably singlehandedly saved more lives than anyone in history with The Global Alliance for Vaccines and Immunization program alone, and that is one of thousands of initiatives they are working on.  I would love to get to know someone who has that grand of a vision, someone who has the ability to make that big of difference in so many lives.  From simple means this man has taken on the hardest problems on the planet, it easily makes building the most deployed operating system seem completely insignificant by comparison.  I would love to understand how he went from smart kid, to business tycoon to the world’s greatest philanthropist in one lifetime.         

Constantine the first – Like it or not, this is the person responsible for the popularization of the Christian religion.   Christianity was still a rag tag group of misfits when he became the Emperor or Rome.  It is well known that he was the first Roman emperor to convert to Christianity, in 313 he and CoEmperor Licinius issued the Edit of Milan in which tolerance of all religions was proclaimed.   Most importantly he was a Roman and what were the Romans great at, organizing things.  They organized, armies, organizing empires, the organized building projects like no others and they (he) organized Christianity.  I would love to talk to him about how he selected the books of the Bible, what criteria was used for Mark getting in and the Odes of Solomon not getting in.  Did he envision what Roman Catholicism is today or did he envision something completely different?  What was it about the epistle of Barnabas that got it kicked out and what about John got that book in?  Could it have been John 3:16, which is, in my opinion, the key to the whole thing.  If you believe that God gave his only begotten son so that whichever of us believes in him will have eternal life.  It seems to me that if you believe that, you are in and if you don’t, there is no way you can get in.  From an organizational perspective I think it would be interesting to find out the why on how the Bible was assembled.  Why did the Old testament have an angry plague and pestilence God while the and the New Testament has a healing, forgiving and loving God – I think it was to make it all work, hard to sell the old testament.   

Mark Twain – I have always looked at Mark Twain as a quintessential American.  He was someone who had his finger on the pulse of America.  He also changed the way people wrote, before him writing was very formal.  When he came along he was able to inject a certain type of colloquialism writing (for lack of better words).  His Prince and the Pauper is a classic and A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court I think showed the absurdities of political and societal norms, in Yankee by setting it in the court of King Arthur – how funny is that.  More than anything there was an everyman sort of down to earth common sense that came through in his writing, more so in the newspaper articles than his books I think though.  I would love for him to spend a year in our time and then come to my weekend getaway, he would no doubt be able to point out the absurdities of our day that surround and envelope us in a way that we do not even notice anymore.  He would be telling us about the elephant in the room, of that I have ZERO doubt! 

Michael Angelo – I have stared at the ceiling in the Sistine Chapel and I have seen his Pietà, the sculpture he created when he was only 24 years old that depicts Mary holding Jesus after he was crucified.  It is probably the most moving piece of art I have ever laid eyes on.   He had many many famous commissions over his life but those two for me are the most incredible.  I feel they are incredible because they both moved me like no other art I had seen before or since.  I would love to ask him how he saw those things, how did he see Mary holding Jesus after his death inside that block of marble.  How did he see that incredible story he put on the ceiling before he got started.  My questions would not be about the magnificence of the work, which is unquestioned, but more about how did he see it, what inspired him and how was he able to take that vision and drive it through to completion.   For him, he just had a job, he was an artist doing his work.  There is absolutely no way that he could have known the impact of his work on the rest of the world.  If one were to have told Michael Angleo that in less than one year in 2010 over 500 million people were going to come to see his work he would have thought you crazy.  That was population of the planet when he was alive.  The first I ever heard of the Sistine Chapel was in the movie Ecstasy and agony, with Charlton Heston, and Rex Harrison.  I remember the part where Pope Julius II (Rex Harrison) would constantly holler up to Michael Angelo on the scaffolding, “when will it be done”, and Michael Angelo (Charlton Heston) would yell down “when I am finished”.  I loved that movie. 

 

As I was pondering this blog and started writing it, I listened to a song called “Beer With Jesus” by Thomas Rhett, here are the lyrics and below that is a link to the video.

If I could have a beer with Jesus heaven knows I'd sip it nice and slow.  I'd try to pick a place that ain't too crowded or gladly go wherever he wants to go.  You can bet I'd order up a couple tall ones, tell the waitress put 'em on my tab.   I'd be sure to let him do the talkin', careful when I got the chance to ask how'd you turn the other cheek?  To save a sorry soul like me, do you hear the prayers I send.  What happens when life ends, and when you think you're comin' back again.  I'd tell everyone, but no one would believe it.  If I could have a beer with Jesus, If I could have a beer with Jesus I'd put my whole paycheck in that jukebox.  Fill it up with nothing but the good stuff, sit somewhere we couldn't see a clock.  Ask him how'd you turn the other cheek, to save a sorry soul like me.  Have you been there from the start, how'd you change a sinner's heart.  And is heaven really just beyond the stars.  I'd tell everyone, but no one would believe it.  If I could have a beer with Jesus, he can probably only stay, for just a couple rounds.  But I hope and pray he's stayin' till we shut the whole place down.  Ask him how'd you turn the other cheek to save a sorry soul like me.  What's on the other side?  Is mom and daddy alright?  And if it ain't no trouble tell them I said hi.  I'd tell everyone but no one would believe it If I could have a beer with Jesus.  I'd tell everyone but no one would believe it, If I could have a beer with Jesus.  http://www.cmt.com/videos/thomas-rhett/855115/beer-with-jesus.jhtml.  I suppose I feel that way

 
There are so many characters in history that I think would be interesting to spend time with but I have narrowed my list to these five, what are your thoughts on it

Veterans Day

As you know, I have written quite a bit about Veterans Day and Veterans in general.  Today I sit here thinking about how lucky I am to be an American and how thankful I am to those who made that possible.  There are currently about 25 million living Veterans, not all active duty but still kicking and I am proud to include myself in that group.  Just as a comparative there are only about 48million who have served in our military since 1776.  As you can deduce with simple math, over half of the folks who have ever served – since 1776 – are still alive.  As I sit and think about that and what it means I wonder, where we will be as a nation be in another 50 years.  The one thing I do know, we will have brave young Men and Women who are willing to server to protect our Great Nation. 

I was reminded of a poem I heard a long time ago by Courtney Tanabe called “Because of you, Unknown Soldier”.   Usually when we think or hear the words “Unknown Soldier” we think of Arlington National Cemetery and the proud marines protecting the tomb of the Unknown Soldier.  I am not sure but I suspect Courtney might have been inspired by the site there at Arlington.  Maybe she put together the pieces of the puzzle that explain the importance of 21 in the military.  21 gun salutes, the 21 steps that Marine takes or the 21 seconds he pauses before the next 21 steps at the tomb of the Unknown Soldier, who knows.  As I read it today I wonder if maybe she wasn’t thinking about the fact that we do not really know our soldiers. (The word Soldier is used generically to describe anyone who serves).  Here is her ode.

 Because of you, I am here

Because of you, I am able to live freely

Yet I do not know you

And I have not done anything for you

But there you stand, ready to fight

And there you are prepared to die

For me

You've fought before

And you'll fight again

For someone you don't know

So thank you Unknown Soldier

Fighting for me

I'm here because of you

And I owe my future to you

 

Regardless of what she was thinking when she wrote it, it is a beautiful tribute. 

Maybe that is part of our problem, our Soldiers are unknown to us and their work is even more unknown to us. We like to picture Hero’s in our head and the Military has no lack of Hero’s. But along with those Heroes are young scared kids who may not understand the geo political ramifications of the actions they are taking.  Maybe, and this is a maybe, we just don’t care about things as much anymore.  Other than the things that are revolving in our own insulated cocoon of life.  That sounds like a harsh reality but that is what it seems.  With so much instantaneous and overwhelming communication we have insulated ourselves.  We listen to news stations that cater to our views, we hang out with likeminded folks who hold the same views.  We rarely get outside our bubble, our cone of safety if you will.  This may be part of our National problem, we live in a world where we have so many places to get information from that are very targeted to exactly what we want.  Is that good, I think not.

For example I will pick two things and explain, social media and riding in your car in traffic.  I have to ask; don’t we feel emboldened when we sit in our 5000 pound protective cocoon?  Don’t we scream things at people that we would NEVER say to them in person, even in a joking way.   Don’t we feel powerful when we can sit in our underwear pecking away at a keyboard spewing hateful bile, in all caps no less?  We never have to see the persons face or care about their reaction.  Most people and things outside our bubble are “Unknown” to us.  How many of your own neighbors can you name, how many have been in your house, how many do you just wave at to appear the tiniest bit friendly?  I was not sure where this would go when I started pecking on the keyboard, I never do but here I am.              

I want to let everyone who has served or is serving to that I am indebted to you, I owe my freedoms to you and I will never take the sacrifices you have made for granted.   I started two years ago posting a tribute to every Military member who died in the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, those posts have reached 838 as of today who have died in the last two years defending our freedoms, or so they tell us.  I am so glad that we are out of Iraq and soon to be out of Afghanistan so I no longer have to perform that honor, not because I don’t want to, but because I should not have to. 

I will leave you with another poem or two

Remember

by Brittany Vigoreaux

American soldiers sacrifice so much,

All for the freedom of our country.

Leaving their families and heading off to war,

Not knowing what the future holds.

Working day and night

Determined to stay strong.

Watching friends be killed every day

Letters from home inspiring them to keep fighting

So little is given to them

Although there is little to do,

For those who have died in war

We can still remember

Remember all the men who have died.

Remember all the battles fought

Remember all the tears families cried

Remember it was freedom the soldiers brought

To this very day soldiers are under-appreciated

Veterans Day is the day

For the dead, living, and fighting soldiers

To be remembered

 

Sometimes the World Seems

by Larissa Myschuk

Sometimes the world seems like it's

Upside-down

Inside out

Torn down the middle

In need of arrangement

Desperate for guidance

Wanting direction

Lacking leadership

Losing patience

Turning and flipping

Backwards and sideways

Speeding endlessly forward

On a path of self-destruction

And the only thing to stop it,

The only thing to calm it,

Is the lives of the men that

Fight passionately

Fall readily and

Die willingly.

 

Broken Hearted I write this Blog!

Now I have never had a title like that, but it is exactly how I feel.  As I wrote about earlier, I have written quite a number of posts about military deaths in the wars.  What I have never mentioned is the word “suicide.”  We use code words to designate a suicide.  It seems sad that we have to use code words; actually I feel it is a shame we have to use them.  I suppose we use them to protect the families of the victims. I am sure they are devastated enough at the loss of their loved ones and to heap on the stigma of suicide in the press releases would just be too much. 

So how did I get back to Military deaths so soon you might be asking.  Well, several things over the last week really kind of drove it all home.  The first I suppose happened when I was in Boston last week.  That evening I stayed up late watching WGBH, who some consider the flagship PBS stations.  I was at their facility earlier in the day so I wanted to watch their product.  It was late when the Charlie Rose show started and during the lead-in he mentioned he was going to talk about the military suicide rate.  I was beat so I called Bride and asked her to record it for me, which she did.  It was an informative piece and well presented -- Charlie Rose is the best at the oak table.  Here is a link to that interview.  It is about a 16-minute piece but I implore you to please take a few moments and watch it. 

http://www.charlierose.com/view/interview/12463  I was stunned at the rate of suicides and more shocked by the rate of increase in them.

After that I wrote about the 6500, now already up to 6510, lost Military members in the wars we are fighting. It is hard to write about them all, as I feel a small piece of my soul is being eroded with each one.  I wonder what has happened to our country, why have we spent so many resources on this sand box fight.  What is the driving force and why do we just stand by and do nothing while our people are dying -- their people are dying and for what?  A piece of shit little corner of the world that is good for nothing but growing poppies.  Sorry, I did not want get off on that but I just do not see the value of the fight in that location. 

So, this morning I was looking at my Facebook and my friend who works down at WOSU FM in Columbus, OH, posted a story about a Court Martial that began For Ohio Soldier Accused of Racial Hazing.  Well after I read the story I realized that it was about 8 Army folks who hazed a young Army Private Danny Chen so badly that he committed suicide. 

Here is a link to that story http://beta.wosu.org/news/2012/07/24/court-martial-begins-for-ohio-soldier-accused-of-racial-hazing

It angers me that ANYONE is hazed to the point of the victim committing suicide.  It also angers me that no one stepped in to stop it.  Be the bigger man, be the one who protects those who might be weaker and the one who stands up for those who cannot stand up for themselves.  Don’t assume to know the burdens others may carry as we all carrying our own internal burdens.   

So I looked up Private Danny Chen, this death was listed as unspecified causes, here is his post. 

I just find it hard to stomach!  I do not even know what the answer is, or the cause.  I suspect, like Charlie indicated, it is the rate of return to combat.  During WWII nearly 8% of Americans were serving, now it is less than one percent of the population so they are going back to fight over and over and over and over again.  He had experts talking about the why and how but they were not sure how to fix it.  All the while I am yelling at the TV “stop sending them over there to fight.”  The answer seems so simple to me:  Remove the troops and then any issues related to the troops being there, automatically fixes itself.  Seems simple to me anyway, but I suppose I am not smart enough to know why that won’t work.     

So anyway, I get home from work today and I take a look to see if there were any losses of Military life today and up pops Army Staff Sgt. Brandon R. Pepper.  He died July 21, 2012, serving in Operation Enduring Freedom.  Brandon was 31 years old and form York, Pa, and at 31, I do not suspect he was hazed.  Brandon was assigned to 4th Battalion, 3rd Special Forces Group, Fort Bragg, NC.  He was in Ghazni province in the middle of nowhere Afghanistan when he died from “unspecified causes”.  Which is what we all know now is code for he killed himself, for whatever reason he is gone.  These self-inflicted deaths touch me more than others, I am not sure why.  Such a senseless waste.  I wish one of Brandon’s buddies could have seen the signs, if there were even any present. 

Our young men and women serving overseas are being damaged.  We can see the folks who come home without legs or arms, but the ones who are hurting inside – how do we know?  How do we know what to ask, how do we know or even learn some of the signs.  I have lost 2 friends to suicide and I know there are no answers to any of these questions but the knowing has not assuaged my pain.  Maybe I think about Grady and David, my two friends, when I read or think about these Military suicides.  Not that they compare, only that there are always a million questions that can never have answers, and I find that frustrating.  I am just a dumb hillbilly from small town Ohio but the problem seems to have an easy answer – STOP SENDING Our TROOPS OVER THERE!!     

I ask that we all send up a few extra prayers tonight, to keep everyone safe and sound and to bring them home.