My annual pilgrimage to the morally bankrupt, God Awful, ethically lacking shithole in the desert

Two conferences I must attend for work are backed into each other every April about this time.  The first is the PBS technology conference, it is four days long and I thoroughly enjoy it.  Then there is the NAB, National Association of Broadcasters show, which is another 4 days long and I thoroughly enjoy that one as well.  My issue is not with the conferences, it is with the length of the stay in Vegas.  4 days for one, two weekend days and then 4 day for the other one.  That coupled with the time changes (3 hours) each way and if you know me at all you know it do not like when the time changes, not even for daylight savings time.  That many days between time changes allows one’s body to almost get acclimated to the new time, almost.  So I get all screwed up on the trip out and then again on the trip back.  ARGH!!

So the conferences, the PBS TechCon as it is known is very good.  We had over 450 attendees this year from well over 125 PBS stations.  It is a chance to interact with our peers from around the country and listen to what they are doing that is working and what is not.  It also gives us access to the folks at PBS to either complain or praise, which I have done both before in the same year.  There are technology vendors who show up to hock their wares, and pay for the meals, if you have to attend conferences you know what I mean.  I have been coming out here for quite a while now, and I have been on panels and presented to the group as well.  I like hanging out with a bunch of engineers, we all understand – everything.  They are my kind, from the geek with a plastic pocket protector (yes there was a guy there this year with one) to the true leaders of our industry.  I seem to gather more information each year, not sure if I have learned how to gather it or what but each year gets better for me. 

Except that we are in Vegas baby!!  This place is SO loud and SO in your face the only way to get a reprieve is to rent a car and drive out into the desert, which I have done in the past.  I am not a gambler, I am not looking for a hooker and I do not drink, this town has little to offer me.  Once you have dropped a hundred bucks or more to watch a good show a few times, even those hold little interest for me.  This year Bride almost came with me, that would have been nice.  The only issue with that is that these things get started by 7am and usually end around 6-7pm and then there is always a vendor who wants to take you out to dinner.  I have eaten the most expensive meals of my life here, and not paid for a one of them.  One year a vendor took me to a place that is the MGM Grand and for the two of us the dinner bill was over 600 bucks.  Not sure if I were rich I would ever get used to spending that much money on dinner, don’t get me wrong it was NOT the Outback Steakhouse – it was VERY good eats.  I have also eaten a 4 dollar Nathan’s hotdog as well, that was when I had to pay myself.

So the second part of the conference is the NAB, some say it is the largest one held here, others disagree but it is one of the largest.  For those who have never been the Las Vegas Convention Center sits on 2820 acres, has parking to accommodate over 5000 cars in the parking lot AND has 1.3 million square feet of space under roof, these are NOT small buildings.  That is NOT the only convention center in Vegas either, that is just one of probably hundreds.  Just for the sense of scale, since I can’t understand 1.3 million square feet, that is enough to house 55 professional football fields or almost 100 Olympic sized swimming pools.  That place is completely full during the NAB, it is so bad you get a map, I plot my course for the days I will be staying to minimize covering the same ground, it will wear your ass out!! And if you aren’t friends with Dr. Scholl’s gellin inserts, you dogs are going to be BARKING!!  

It is a very valuable experience though, it is a chance to see all the new offerings the hardware and software makers are selling.  I like to sometimes wander around at some of the smaller booths and see what some of the true innovators are up to.  The big companies are innovators as well but are sometimes limited by the burden of the large company bureaucracy that makes true innovation challenging to get to market.  This year has been challenging for me as we are getting ready to start a large project and most the manufacturers and vendors know that so they are “on me” in a way that does not make me feel comfortable.  I have purposely not accepted any dinner invites from any of them who may become involved in our project, I can’t have any hint of impropriety in this process.  I actually was at the closing ceremonies for TechCon and one vendor who REALLY wants in on this project was telling me that losing a deal like ours could get a sales guy fired, no matter the reason it was lost.  I called him on that immediately, I told him that was a bullshit thing to say to me - he backed off fast with a story about not him but he has seen that happen.  That interaction was noted!

I was able to go out last night a good friend of mine, he brought his son, who is getting into the business and we went to Lowry’s Steak house with another PBS engineer we both know.  We talked and laughed about life, marriage, kids, work and folks we have lost over the years.  We did not talk about work at all and that was very refreshing, the pressure of this project rarely affords me to time to relax and laugh with some of the folks in the system I work with.  I was thankful for the opportunity to hang out with my buddies.

Back to this place, Vegas baby.  There is little here for me, although I did get to spend some time people watching, and there is NO better place than here for that, it is even better than the Walmart parking lot.  There is such a sense of falsehood here, everyone seems to be playing an angle, the kids from wherever looking to get laid and have some fun, the middle aged couple trying to enjoy a vacation, the elderly couple who keep coming looking for what Vegas used to be.  Even the folks who work here, you can tell most of them hate it, it is a service job from hell in a casino for sure.  I will say this, there are shitload of what Bride and I call “the beautiful people”.  The men in 5000 dollar suites with girls wearing dresses with less material than my socks with their big fake boobs hanging out, the per capita on those types of very high here - it is crazy!! 

I am staying in probably the nicest room I have ever stayed in this year.  The PBS conference was at Caesars Palace and that is where I got a room, very nice.  The MGM is a very nice place as well but this place is a notch above that in my opinion.  When our conference was at the MGM Grand I used to stay at a place called the San Remo, a little inexpensive place across from MGM.  I could cross the street at the light, cut through the parking garage and bam, there was the MGM convention center, easy.  Well one year I was booking the hotel and they had changed the name, evidently Hooters purchased the property and it was now the Hooters Hotel.  Well I thought, NO WAY!  First, I was not going to tell Bride I was going to Vegas and I was staying at the Hooters Hotel, that was not happening.  Next I thought of our Bean Counter, receipts from the Hooters Hotel would receive quite a bit of scrutiny by our female CFO, again NO WAY!

Well, I still have a few more days to go before I get to go home, I have all my meetings scheduled, all my meals planned and am just looking forward to the time passing so I can go home.  I miss Bride and sure do wish she could have come with me, next year for sure.

Tires, tires and more about tires!!

This is a story about tires, whodathunkit!  Who would have thought that I could write a blog about tires, what could I have to say about them.  Will it be a good story or a bad one?   The story starts with a car crash that happened in 1982, a 1974 Chevy Vega GT that rolled over a number of times with three passengers inside.  It ends with new $92 a piece tires installed and out the door on a 1997 minivan.  So you have been warned, read on if you must.

 So as most of you probably know, I have an old Jalopy (1958 Ranchero) and Bride has the Girl Jalopy (1963 Galaxie 500).  What you may not know is that we also have a 1997 Chrysler Town and Country minivan.  It has very faded red paint, 165,000 miles and if you were to go by the various lamps on the dash, possessed by some demon of epic proportions.  The wipers will, without warning or reason, occasionally come on, and will not go off with user interaction.  Only when “the van” decides to shut them down do they stop.  It could be day, it could be night, it could be raining or sunny, no meaning to the madness.  It has been doing that since we got it, over 9 years ago.   

So back to 1982……  my very first car was a 1974 Chevrolet Vega GT, it was orange and it was a hatchback.  I bought it for 50 bucks and for those who are old enough to remember the Vega you probably realize I paid too much for it at $50.  It needed tires badly, and I had just picked some up, they were in the back of the car.  Tim was sitting in the passenger seat and Don was in the back seat and we were speeding down Zimmerman road, towards Millerstown.  We has just passed Millerstown road, now called CR16 according to Bing Maps. 

We were bearing to the left as the road came around, I was going too fast and the tires were too smooth.  BOOM, the right front tire blows and I go sliding into the ditch on the north side of the road.  We were sliding along sideways when I saw the culvert, a concrete mass hiding in the weeds.  Before I had time to wonder what that meant we hit it broadside and it shot the car up into a roll that ended with us upside down with hot transmission fluid leaking onto me through the floor shifter.  That car was completely destroyed, completely!  The only thing that was left undamaged was the steering wheel, which I sold to someone who put it on a 55 chevy (I think it was a 55).        

So at that point in my life I had a VERY GOOD understanding of the importance of good tires.  The three of us came out with nothing more than scratches so we were very lucky!!  So after that , I have always kept good tires that are properly rotated and maintained at the correct pressure on my cars or trucks and have NEVER had another issue like the one that should have haunted me from my childhood.  Even when I could not really afford them, I got good tires.  The one time I bought retreads, I regretted it.  I was being transferred to Maine and I bought an old Oldsmobile to take up there to save my brand new truck from the snow and salt.  I put retreads on it to save a buck, I was not 100 miles out of Norfolk and two of them had gone out.  I stopped at a Goodyear shop and had a 500 dollar set of tires put on, that was more than I had paid for the car.  I had no problems with the tires on the car for the 12 months I owned it.    

So if we fast forward to the days of Jalopy, which has Cooper Cobra tire on it we can start the story about the van.  I had rebuilt the suspension and steering on Jalopy before I put new tire on.  A few years later we got the Girl Jalopy, which needs the suspension replaced in it as well.  It is not as bad as mine but I am planning that work.  So we were left with the question, what do we do with the Van, sell it, junk it or keep it.  Do two people need three cars??  We decided to keep it, because we owned it and the insurance was only $17 a month.  We decided that we would drive it until the wheels fall off.  That old van will hold (and has held) 4x8 sheets of plywood laying flat so it is a good utilitarian vehicle.  Well, last night on the way to the grocery store the passenger side rear tire literally exploded.  It scared the hell out of both of us.

The old van has needed tires for a while, I have never let a set of tires get so bad, plus there was some age on them so the dry rot was also concern.  We kept praying that it will die, so we could be done with it.  But since it is so cheap to operate and we are car payment adverse we were waiting for the wheels to fall off. 

So I am about 2 blocks from the house when this happens and decide to limp it on home and change the tire once I get there.  In those two blocks of me crawling along at about 2 miles an hour with the hazard lights on - two people driving by stop and ask if I needed help.  Both of them were women, which was a little poke to my ego.  I can and have taken cars completely apart and put them back together again, good as new.  I have even shared pictures in Facebook and the blog of that skill set on Jalopy.  What was it about me that said to these women, that poor boy needs some help.  Don’t get me wrong, it renewed my faith in humanity and folks simply helping other folks when the need assistance but……  it was a flat tire, I have a professional floor jack, impact ratchets and all the tools that a pit crew might use to change a tire.  I am just saying it hurt my pride a bit and made me wish I would have just changed the tire alongside the road.      

So today Bride called around looking for the most economical set of tires we could find.  The prices varied quite a bit.  Anywhere from almost 600 bucks all the way down to 368 dollars.  Because we do not drive this car out of town or on the interstate I decided we did not need expensive tires.   We decided on the $368 offer from Tire Kingdom.  When I dropped the van off, I asked Kaleb, a very young service manager, if they were all four round and black.  He laughed and said, yes they are.  It made me laugh that I had lowered my requirements for tires to “are they round and black” but I knew I did not need much more than that. 

He asked if we wanted to have the free front end alignment check, even though I did not really care it was free so why not I thought.  Go ahead and check it I said.  Not that it would matter, I suspect the van will not make it to the time that these 40,000 mile tires wear out.  Since we drive it only around town and the fact that it did not seem to be wearing out the other tires I am going to take my chances.  He finished up by saying it will ready in 45 minutes, to which I said thank you.  An hour and half later we still had not received a call, so we called back and we were told that they were putting it on the rack for the alignment check.  I thought, of course it needed “aligned”, that is why places offer the check for free – in hopes of getting the work.  I was pleasantly surprised when he told me the alignment was dead on.  I laughed about my misconceptions as we drove off, with probably the least expensive set of tires I have purchased.   

Not sure where to start this one - Mr. Oatmeal unable to get started, imagine that??

On January 5^th at 10:07pm one of my oldest real life friends posted a note on Facebook that I am still having trouble processing.  We have known each other since the 60’s when we were both fortunate enough to be born in Millerstown Ohio.  I moved away (same county) when I was 5 and then moved farther away (a couple of hours) when I was 11.  Then I moved back (same county) after my Mom remarried when I was 14, which is a story in and of itself.  Then moved back to Millerstown when I was 15, where she had been all along.  There was a time after I went in the military that we were hanging out together, I used to make the trip up to Morehead State University in Kentucky while I was stationed in Norfolk Virginia.  Over our lives we shared A LOT of experiences that were unique to growing up in small town Ohio. 

We kinda grew apart in the late eighties, I would occasionally see her and my other Millerstown friends on my sporadic trips back to Ohio.  That was in the days before email, texting, tweeting and even cell phones.  We had paper address books and placed handwritten letters (before computers were big) in envelopes and put a stamp on it and away it went.  My life was busy seeing the world in the US Navy and I assumed hers was busy practicing veterinary medicine, which is what she went to school for.  Actually it was Animal Science and Veterinary Technology as I just learned from her information page on Facebook.  It seems weird how close we all were back in the days of drinking beer and smoking dope on the stoop in Millerstown compared to now that we are loosely reconnected via the Facebook thing.  Seems weird to even say it that way, having moved away from there and never going back it seems like memories from whole different part of my life that resides in a light fog, remaining just out of focus.

There were a few years, from about 1979 to 1983 (when I left) and most likely beyond that where Millerstown had quite a crop of delinquents (that is an over dramatization, most were not delinquents but through my drunk and stoned eyes they appeared that way so that is my perception not the actual reality).  At least that is how I remember it.  There were a lot of us kids that hung out in those days, there were the Bodey’s and Basey’s, the Ervin’s and Lockwoods, the Vanscoy’s, Bronne’s (sp) and Swearingen’s, and Scott’s, Pond’s and a Williamson.  Some of us were thick as thieves and others were associated by being from the same town that had a population of probably 100.  I have never made a conscience effort to disassociate myself with my origins but it seems the only folks I ever really stayed in touch with were the Vanscoy’s.  I really don’t know why that is. 

We all seemed indestructible back then, I suppose that is true of all kids but to my limited knowledge all of us Millerstowners are still kicking around in one place or another.  I have lost many friends and family in my life, young, old, sick, healthy but I have not lost any friends from my far back youth that I was close with.  Now to be clear I HAVE NOT lost my friend, but she is facing some pretty tough medical challenges, as you will see when you read her post.  I am not sure what to say or what to do and why I feel differently than I have about all my other friends who had medical challenges.  Is it because we have known each other so long?  Is it because we were more than just friends for a while?  Is it because we shared so many experiences during our high school years?   Is it embarrassment that I had no real idea what she has been up to for the last 20 years?  Is it a blend of all that?  

There is a simple pragmatism in her post, maybe that is what I am missing.  There was never any bullshit with us kids from Millerstown, we were who we were and if you had a problem with that, well fuck you.  That was the attitude we had, not sure why and not sure if that is prevalent in all small towns but it was like that where I grew up.  Maybe because my work right now is so not that, my job right now has me playing politics, negotiator and placator.  Those are not my strongest skill sets, I can do it but it tastes like a warm Kroger cross cutter beer (hahaha, for those who remember how shitty that beer was…… it was the only beer I remember not being able to drink and throwing out the car window).      

I am not sure why but her post, which is posted in its entirety further down, made a flood of memories come raging back into my head and I was unprepared for the torrent.  Not just about my friend, but all my friends and my time growing up in small town Ohio.  It is hard to describe really, I grew up in a small town with all the dynamics that brings to life and have lived my adult life in bigger cities have experienced all that comes with that.  I am pretty sure I don’t I miss small town life, it is just a vastly different lifestyle. 

Her bravery in the face of such adversity is admirable, but I would expect nothing less from her, same as when we were kids – no room for bullshit in her life.  I am unsure what to say……… seems like an awkward silence in the conversation, if that is even possible when I haven’t actually talked to her for years.  Maybe that is part of it, guilt for not staying in touch with someone I knew so well back in the day.  I guess we all have this train ride of life going on and along the way people get on our train and then get off.  Some stay longer than others, some are on the train for just a few days and others ride all the way to the end with you.  Maybe that is one of the mysteries of life, who gets on when and how long they stay. 

I hurt for my friend and am just am unsure what to say or how to say it that is not weird or uncomfortable for either one of us.  We have been off each other’s train ride for so long it just seems…….. I don’t really know what it seems like.  I just want my friend to be OK and not have to suffer through anything let alone the list of medical issues she dealing with.  I am raising up some prayers for strength for my great friend and am asking you to do the same.

Here is her post                   

Kidneys, Creaks and Crohn's.

I don't know exactly why I am writing this note. Maybe to inform, or maybe to clarify things in print for myself. I'm at a decision making point (again) with my health and my life. I find having things written down, or in this case, typed, helps.

In 2006, I was diagnosed with an autoimmune(AI) chronic kidney disease called Focal Global Glomerulosclerosis.   It is basically your immune system turning on you, and what this type does is build scar tissue across all the tiny tubes that filter blood and fluids through the kidneys. My kidneys were working at approx 35% at this time. Because it slows up the process of fluids going through from kidneys to bladder, fluid backs up and causes high blood pressure. I had been told I've probably had this since at least 1999, when I was pregnant with Wyatt. Symptoms such as the HBP did not show up until 2006.  To remedy this, I take meds for the blood pressure, and was told to stay on a low protein diet, 30g per day, avoid  beef, pork, dairy, eggs, and high amounts of phosphorus.  The proteins in those particular items are very large when broken down, and are hard for my kidneys to pass through. I also can not drink a lot of liquids.....period. I cannot take ibuprofen for any reason because it can shut my kidneys down, nor decongestants bc of blood pressure meds.  I work on my feet 8 hrs a day, and any fluids I do drink end up in my lower legs(swelling) until I'm home and can get my feet up. I have dealt with all this for almost 6 yrs now, changing my diet, getting regular blood tests that monitor everything, reading anything I could on it-only about 50,000 people with this disease, getting depressed, angry, then coming to terms with it. I have an awesome nephrologist-kidney dr, who tells me if I am craving something I'm not supposed to have, then I must need it, just do it in moderation. The blood tests measure an important waste product, Creatinine, in your blood stream. Because the kidneys do not filter correctly, a lot of the waste gets recycled back to the blood stream. Once that level gets to a certain point, you have to be put on dialysis.....forever, or until you get a transplant. They go by stages, as in other diseases, from 1 being mild to 5 being dialysis. I was put at a level 4 in 2006, but have reversed to a stage 3, due to my diet changes. It won't go back any farther, I was just lucky to catch it fairly early.  Back to the waste in the blood though, it makes you tired, irritable, gives you brain fog, etc... basically toxins in the blood and less oxygen.  And as far as a transplant, family would be last resort because my body would attack it just as if it were my own because of being similar genetics. I am currently with 28% functioning kidneys, with my left being a little worse than the right.     It has been fairly smooth sailing since about 2007 until 2010.

Early spring of 2010, I noticed my hands hurting really bad, especially in the morning and late evening. Didn't really pay much attention until I went on a bike ride with the kids, my first and only bike ride of the year. My knees swelled so big a few days after, I had to call the Doc. She checked me out, did blood tests, of which the inflammation factor came back really high. She referred me to a Rheumatologist and after a lot more tests, it was determined I had Rheumatoid Arthritis. I ended up having both knees drained of fluids, and after trying to decide what meds to put me on, finally settled on Plaquenil.  Plaquenil is an anti-malarial drug, and in a class called a DMARD- disease modifying anti rheumatic drug. Go figure. They don't know how it works but it does help some people. It seems to help my swelling more than the pain, and guess what, I can't take that damn ibuprofen bc of my kidneys.  The next  safest line of defense is Methotrexate, which is a chemotherapy drug, and can cause havoc for the kidneys. Most meds have a black flag, DO NOT TAKE IF YOU HAVE KIDNEY DISEASE. I am getting to be able to read fine print really good now...lol. My rheumy is taking a very conservative approach and I am thankful for that.    On another note, I would like to clarify that Rheumatoid Arthritis(RA) is NOT, NOT the same or even close, to Osteoarthritis. Osteo is from wear and tear to the cartilage between joints. RA is another autoimmune disease which is your cells attacking yourself. It generally affects the synovial fluid between joints, but can also damage heart, lungs, skin, not just joints. It’s a whole other beast eating away at your body. I even have a rheumatoid nodule on my voice box that flares up. Cold humid weather aggravates it, anything can really stir it up, and it causes extreme fatigue, fevers, parts of your body are inflamed and hot, but the rest of me freezes. Everybody that knows me knows I'm always cold. Eventually, if it progresses fast, it will disfigure my hands and feet first, then elbow, maybe knees. And it can and will eventually cause Osteoathritis, which will double the pain. I can hardly wait.

You would think that my immune system would be quite busy at this point, seeing as how it has my joints and kidneys to harass. But no, guess what happened this fall? I began to have abdominal pain in September that progressively got worse. I put it down to stress, of going back to work after 11 months off, then having Dad diagnosed with cancer. Was treated early on for a GI bug, seemed to improve, then got worse again. The only thing that seemed to help the pain was being very still until it passed. It was always worst in the evening, so I gave up eating later in the day.  I had some CT scans done, of which I could not have the IV contrast(darn kidneys), but I could drink the oral contrast. Yum! It sat in my gut for who knows how long, making me sick and getting a migraine. The part it wouldn't go through(like it should have) was the last part of my small intestine, the ileum. It was inflamed, and the opening very small.  Initial diagnosis: Crohn's Disease. Oh yay, another autoimmune disease was my first reaction. My doctor was more upset than me.  She referred me to a gastroenterologist, where I have had almost the entire length of my digestive tract examined, photographed and biopsied. Still waiting on the biopsy results, but his "informal" diagnosis is Crohn's. Right now it seems to be limited to the small intestine, no ulcers or holes, thank God.  He also tested me for Celiac's Disease, which is the gluten intolerance, but it just doesn't have the same ring to it as Kidneys, Creaks, and Crohn's. :-)  For now, I am waiting on my next Dr appt. He gave me a list of meds he wants to use, 3 different ones, all scream DO NOT USE WITH KIDNEY DISEASE.  I told him any meds I take have to be approved by my kidney doc and myself before I will take them. Some meds I can take, but the dosage has to adjusted a lot. Most drugs I can't take. I do want to mention that surgery generally is not an option until the bad part of the bowel is so bad it creates a blockage. It being an autoimmune disease and all, will just come back and attack again. But I am seriously considering it, for one, most people are diagnosed with Crohn's while in teens and 20's. I am 46 and if it doesn't get bad again for another 15 yrs then that has preserved my kidneys for another 15 yrs. If it comes back right away, it would be useless.

So now I find myself actually looking up more info, alternative therapies, diet control, surgery, anything I can get my hands on. I couldn't make myself do it sooner, its hard to explain why, but when you're handed a diagnosis of which you know there is no cure, no reversal, you kind of go through your emotions almost like dealing with a death. There's denial, grief, depression, anger, and then hopefully you get to a calm even keel. I think I am at the anger part already, it seems soon, but I went through a year or longer of those emotions with my kidney diagnosis. Maybe I am immune to it now, who knows?  Now that's a joke, I am immune to everything BUT myself.  Had to insert a little medical humor there. I am so glad that I do have a medical background, even if it was in the animal world. I need to go back into a medical field, if at all possible.  I am going to go back to my reading now, then go to bed. Tomorrow's a new day!!

1958 Jalopy - 2012 Chevy Tahoe - WHAT a difference

So as you know I drive a 1958 Jalopy, here it is. 

I recently rented a 2012 Chevy Tahoe, here it is.

So, for those old enough to remember it, this was previously known as the K-5 blazer.   Chevy produced the K-5 (the king of off road vehicles) from 1969 until 1994, when they changed the name to Tahoe in the 1995 model year.  Anyway, that is not the point of this blog.

We left for Tampa while it was still dark and at some point I accidently hit a button that turned on the rear wiper.   It was dark and I did not want to stop to figure out where the button was so it flapped back and forth for a bit over an hour and half until the sun came up and I could see where to turn the thing off at.  We stopped along the way to get a cold drink and use the restroom.  I took this opportunity to familiarize myself a bit with all the knobs, buttons, levers and other electronic interface devices in this magnificently complicated vehicle.

Now as I said, I drive a 1958 ford Ranchero, fondly referred to as “Jalopy”.   I have on my dash 6 knobs, two of which open air vents to the outside.  One is for the lights, one for the wipers and one for the heater, yep one knob controls the heat and fan.  If we count the input device, non-electronic of course, there are a grand total of one, it turns on the left turn signal when I push it down and the right turn signal when I push it up.  Now I do have a couple of buttons on my radio because some jack-wagon chopped up the dash to install a new style radio, the idiot, and I have not been able to find a replacement dash so I live with it.  All of these are within reach from the driver’s seat.  Also there are also no nested menus on anything and especially with 9 deep directories within those menus.  Seems with those 7 knobs and one input device I can make my life work, it all makes sense to me.  I did not have to read a manual to learn what the knob labeled “lights” meant, it was pretty self-explanatory and easily understood by anyone with a pre-kindergarten pre-school education. 

So with this Tahoe, I was just blown away with the technology that was jammed into this thing.   I was so impressed that this morning before I took it back I sat there, surrounded by more electronic gadgetry than was in use in the freaking space shuttle.  I decided to do a little exploring while I sat here, counting knobs, buttons and other interfaces and menu directories.  This will AMAZE you, or at least it amazed me!!  Within easy reach of the driver’s seat there are 90 buttons, some of which perform multiple tasks.  90 BUTTONS, what the hell!!! That does include the six way switch that controlled the position of the seat.  I forgot that ONE in my Jalopy.  It is a knob with a mechanical linkage to a mechanism that manipulates a series of pegs that allow the drive to move the seat closer to the dash.   90 BUTTONS, what in the world is going on?  There are 23 alone that control the radio, and best I could tell most of those are multifunction buttons that do many things dependent on the mode one might have the radio operating in.  CRAZY!!  There are also four functions alone for the rear wiper. 

Don’t get me wrong, I am a gadget head and not fearful of technology.  As a matter of fact I have made my living implementing and maintaining the latest technologies but come on – do we really need that level of sophistication within easy reach of the driver’s seat?  I shit you not that there are 12 different modes that can be changed using the turn signal lever, and that is NOT including actually using the directional to tell folks which way you might want to turn.  I am surprised that we do not have some little gadget that is monitoring your eyes and then turns the signals on based on where the driver might be looking.  I wonder when they tell me that I should not text while driving, hell there are more than enough distractions on the dash of this modern marvel to kill you 1000 different ways. 

Now up to this point I have only been talking about the physical knobs and buttons, I now want to talk for a minute about the menus.  Now just keep in mind that 5 of those previously mentioned 90 buttons are dedicated to driving and manipulating the electronic menu system.  I found that I could follow my fuel usage, average as well as in real time.  It also keeps track of and displays the transmission temperature.  Now I have been a motor head all my life and can’t for the life of me why a driver would need that information available on the dash board.  When I started the car, the temp was 72, the temperature outside.   By the time I had reached the rental place, it had risen to 140 degrees.  Not sure what that meant or why I would need to know it.  Funny thing though, when the fellow went out to check the mileage, he could not figure out how to get the menu back to indicated the mileage.

So as I played in this menu hell I realized, one had better plan on reading the owner’s manual on how to operate and understand the meaning of all the different information that can be provided to the driver.  I am not kidding it was crazy, maybe everyone else already knows this but for one who drives an old car, I had no idea.  I actually found out how much life that the oil had left, it was at 16%, what that means, who knows.  16% of 3000 miles, or is there some super cool gadget that is actually monitoring the molecular structure of the oil and providing the user direct feedback?  16% of the 3000 miles is the standard I have been using for my entire adult life, that means there are 480 miles left until that oil literally turns to water and stops being an effective lubricant.  Bullshit I say!!

I also noticed that I could find out the tire pressure in each of the tires, included the spare.  As I am a curious one I looked into how that works.  Seems they install a wireless device inside the rim, that little marvel monitors the pressure with a standard transducer type device, nothing new there.  Then it sends RF signals to a receiver inside that car that has been assigned tire monitoring duty.  No new technology there, only taking already proven technologies, combining them and applying them to a situation that really does not need it applied to.  That system alone adds hundreds of dollars to the cost of that car.   That monster starts at 40 grand and I suspect the model I was driving to be fully loaded so it is probably closer to 60k.  hahaha, that is more than I paid for my first house. 

Engine hours, different languages for the instrumentation as well as direction, the compass could be calibrated by mashing a button and driving in circles, were available at the touch of a button.  I learned I could find out how many hours the engine had been running, an electronic version of the mechanical one seen on old tractors.  There was of course the backup camera, hidden right there in the mirror.  Yep, I thought it was only a mirror, but when the vehicle was placed in reverse, BAM, about a third of that mirror turned into a backup camera.  It also has some sort of radar or sonar, sonar I suspect that initiated a beeping in the passenger cabin as I got to close to some object behind me.  In this case it was Jalopy as I backed into the driveway.

Well I for one think new cars are cool, but they are just too complicated, God only knows what it would cost to fix some of that stuff when it quits working.  I also got to thinking about what other information that computer is keeping track of, the cars exact location, the speed of the vehicle, it staggers the imagination to think about what it is tracking, it knows how hot the transmission is for petes sake!!  My old Jalopy, the only fancy technology in there is my Crackberry when I carry it in there with me.  Nope, for me I will be sticking to the old faithful Jalopy type cars.   If you have one, good for you but think about all the information that car is gathering about you as you go about your daily life.

Another one about our Puppy - Damn I miss Him!!

You want me to do WHAT??

It has been a couple of days since we lost Newton.   When I wrote the last blog the hurt was still very fresh and I just wrote down things that popped into my head.  I was all over the place but today I will try to do better.  There are so many funny Newton stories over the 12 years he was our dog that I could just not write them all down.  We had dogs when I was a kid, Timmy, Marmaduke and a little German Shepard mix whose name I cannot recall.  Newton was my first dog as an adult, although we have had a number of cats.  Bride and I got our first cat when we were just dating, Zappa because he was black and white with a little black patch on his chin.

Newton was an AKC registered Boston Terrier, even thought he was close to twice as big as they are ever supposed to get.  There were lots of funny comments over the years about his size.  Most often people would just say, is that a Boston terrier?  Bride got to telling people that he was a Texas terrier, everything in Texas is bigger they say.  Since she is from Texas, that explanation worked.   Bride had him in obedience training when he was a puppy and I remember her coming home upset one night early on.   She told me that one of the breeders at the dog club where the training was being held just looked at Newton and said, wow, that dog has a lot of Staffordshire terrier in him.  She was devastated, she was VERY proud of Newton and to have a stranger so bluntly dis her dog hurt her feelings. 

The last couple of days without Newton have been tough!!  We do have Darrel and Darrell the kitties but the house just does not seem as full.  I remember Bride and me sitting around the house the evening we lost him and talking about never getting another dog.  That first day was tough, we cried and laughed a lot.  The next day I took off from work and we just hung out. We kept leaving to go somewhere, anywhere to get us out of the house, the house where Newton was no longer a physical presence.  That was rough because each time we got home, there was no Newton greeting us at the door to provide the unconditional love that he always shared so generously with us.  While his physical presence may have been gone, his presence was pervading every part of our house.  Everywhere we looked, sat, walked there was Newton’s presence.  Even in the morning as I had my bowl of cereal.  Whenever I had a bowl of cereal he would hear the clinking of the spoon on the bowl and he would be right there – waiting to get whatever was left in the bowl, sometimes I thought he was going lick off the glaze from the pottery bowl.

Friday was no better, although I had gone back to work I still could not get that crazy little dog out of my head.   I miss him so much, crazy little dog anyway.  One thing that hurts is when we go to bed, each night we all had our routines, including him.  Once Bride and I got into bed he would just jump on up there and come over right between us and plop down.  He would be leaning against me and it was his time for unconditional love from us.  He would sit there and we would pet his little head and he would just love it.  That would go on for about 10 minutes a night, after which he would stand up and turn facing the foot of the bed and plop down again.  He would stay there until the reading material was put on the night stand and the light was turned off.  At that point he would get up, jump off the bed and make his way out to the couch or one of the living room chairs where he would spend the night.  I miss that time more than any others. 

When we first got Newton we had a kitty named Junior, he was a giant 24 pounder who still had his  claws.  All kittys since have been declawed, hate me if you must but our cats have always been indoor cats so we have them declawed.  Anyway, one day when Newton was very small we heard him howling and Junior screeching in the front of the house.  We went out to look at what was going on – this is when I learned that Newton was a sissy, at least when it came to cats.  Newton was sitting at the end of the hallway crying, Junior was up at the start of hallway blocking his way.  At that time Newton was about 12 pounds and Junior was 24, it was at that time I think Newton understood that he would always be subjugated by our cats.  Every cat that came along after , subjugated him, even Darrel and Darrel who were tiny kittens had him under control within minutes of arriving, and they were only 10 weeks old – they would even push him away from his dog food and eat dog food, it was hilarious to watch!   

Over the last few months we could see in his behavior and his eyes that things were not right.  It was heart breaking to see the look on his face when he was not feeling well, he was unable to know, understand or talk about what was happening to him.  What that equated to for us was to see that scared look on his face, it was heartbreaking.  His behavior continued to get more bizarre than it was before.  He slept a lot more than he used to but when he was up, he was going 90 miles an hour.  One day he was out in the back yard barking with the neighborhood dogs and running the fence.  Not sure what happened but in mid stride he stopped and came to the door to come back in.  Once inside he went over close to his food bowl and laid down and just panted and he looked scared.  I sat with him and petted his little head until whatever it was passed and he got up and got a drink of water. 

I am unsure if I want to get another dog or not.  Bride was kind of implying today that she did.  I want time to properly mourn Nubsy.  It seems getting another dog right away would be like using the new puppy to forget about the old puppy, I do not want that to be the reason we get another dog.  I have had friends give lots of advice, my buddy Scott B. in Ohio posted something on my wall that was so thoughtful, love ya man!!  Here is what he posted:

To have loved and then said farewell is better than to have never loved at all.   For all of the times that you stooped and touched my head, fed me my favorite treat and returned the love that I so unconditionally gave to you. For the care that you gave to me so unselfishly.  For all of these things I am grateful and thankful. I ask that you grieve not for the loss but rejoice in the fact that we lived, loved and touched each other's lives.  My life was fuller because you were there, not as owner, but as my friend. Today, I am as I was in my youth. The grass is always green, butterflies flit among the flowers and the sun shines gently down upon all of God's creatures. I can run, jump and play and do all of the things that I did in my youth. There is no sickness, no aching joints and no regrets and no aging. We await the arrival of our lifelong companions and know that togetherness is forever. You live in our hearts as we do in yours. Companions such as you are very rare and unique. Don't hold the love that you have within yourself.  Give it to another like me and then I will live forever. For love never really dies, and you are loved and missed as surely as we are.  Your pet is in heaven.

I love ya man and I sure did love that damned old misbehaving, malshapened, butt ugly dog - I miss him so much it hurts!!

Sir Fig Newton Bernard Smith - Our Puppy

I am not even sure where to start this………… just a few hours ago we made the decision that ended our little puppy’s suffering.  Bride and I have laughed and cried most of the afternoon and evening, remembering his idiosyncratic behaviors.  He has been not well for some time but we made him a promise, as we have with all our pets, that we would not make them suffer at the end to satisfy our own conscience - We promised to keep his best interests at heart, not our own.  This was the third pet that we had to make that decision and surprisingly to me – it has gotten harder with each one.

Newton led the most idyllic life that any dog could, from the moment Bride picked him up from the breeder all the way through this afternoon.   Bride and one of her best friends tracked him down in Georgia.  He was a malshapened mess as far as the AKC standards for his breed, which is a non-sporting class.  We would tease him about that all the time.  Bride sold me on the idea of a dog, we were cat people, because he was supposed to be only 12 pounds.  A friend of ours Parents had a Boston called Cookie and I said, well if we get one it can’t be a cookie, it has to be a Newton.  That was how his name came about.  He was 8 pounds at age 8 weeks so when he brought him home I knew we were in trouble.  Bride kept telling me that the max they ever get is 24 pounds, well that is the largest they can be and still show them, it is NOT how big they can get.  Newton shot past 24 pounds like a rocket on his way to 45, where he topped out.

Newton went by many names over the years, Newton of course but there were many iterations of his name we used.   The was the Bomber, the neutron Bomber, burnsey, nubes, nubie-dean, butt ugly shitbird (only I called him that).   There was Nubie-dubie, but we never did anything with fig part of his name.  And we wonder why he never listened, I guess I understand that a little better now.    

I remember the one time he got out, the door was cracked just an inch or two and he rammed through and out he went.  I chased that damn dog for nearly two hours, running through people’s front yards, through their back yards and all over the place.  He would not listen to me, I suspect he knew he was going get spanked for that transgression so he wanted to prolong it.  He was smart like that, he knew when he was doing something wrong.  It makes me laugh because there were a million times he would do that, only the once outside the back yard.  When I would ask him to come in, he would stop what he was doing and then look at me for a few seconds, then he would just on about what he was doing.  It was a conscience decision to disobey.      

I remember once when he did make me proud, no keep in mind he is a Boston Terrier, a large Boston but a Boston all the same.  The neighbor kid was walking their dog, who stood taller than the little boy who was walking him.  We had our front door open and all the blocked Newton from Max, the neighbor’s dog, was a thin and flimsy screen door.  Well Max came hauling ass across our front yard, dragging the boy with him.  When he hit the bottom of the front door he came right through into our foyer.  Well Newton tore Max’s ass up, ripped his ear nearly off and had bite marks in various places, Newton was completely unscathed.  I was proud of him for protecting his home.  

One of the things that made me laugh is when he would turning his back on us.  If for some reason he was not getting his way he would walk across the room and turn his back to us and then occasionally look over his shoulder and whimper.  if he did not get enough of a treat, he would do it.  If we would not let him under the covers, he would do it.  If he thought he was not getting any and everything he was due, that little punk would do that.  It was hilarious and most times I suppose it worked because he usually got what he wanted.   

When we were at the Vet’s office all the folks there were crying as much as we were, they loved and he loved going there.  He made that trip at least once a month to get a bath, nails trimmed, ear cleaned and his anal glands expressed.   He was always happy to see them and they were happy to see him.  There have been lots of adjectives over the years that were used to describe him, by the folks at the Vet and all our friends as well. 

I saw a woman on the beach this morning, I see her all the time.  She walks her three little dogs every morning.  A few day ago when I saw her she only had two, I asked what had happened and she told me he was misbehaving and was in timeout - that made me laugh.  Anyway, I saw her this morning and she was all bundled up and had all three dogs.  They were each bundled up as well, little matching sweaters that covered them up.  It reminded me of one time when Bride got one of those for Newton.  He hated it and when she made him wear it he would look at me with the look of – really, come on Dad save me from this embarrassment.  Eventually I made sure that it disappeared when it was warm out so the next time it got cold, it was just gone. 

I went to the beach this morning and it was cold, 39 degrees.  As I sat in the dark starting at 5:30 I just remembered Newton and his life.  There I was sitting on the beach in a lawn chair, alone, bundled up in multiple layers, in the dark, missing my dog and crying to myself.  I am not sure what someone would have thought if they came up me but then again, I really didn’t care.  Newton was a great dog and brought more joy to our lives then should have been allowed.  He was spoiled rotten and he knew it, but as Bride says, we did not get a dog to show him what disciplinarians we are.  As the skies lightened, it was mostly gray, I realized that I just wanted to be sad for a while and got up and left.

Black Friday - a commentary on what is wrong with us!!!

It seems to me that more and more every year we hear stories of the melee they happens on Black Friday. My favorite one this year, not because I enjoyed reading it but because the sadness that it represents, was a woman looking for an Xbox who sprayed the folks waiting in line at Wal-Mart waiting with her with pepper spray. All so she could get in there and get a freaking video game at a discounted price. I cannot even fit this inside of my head, what was the thought process here? OK, I know they only have 12 of these games and since there are 13 people ahead of me I am going to take them out, not figuratively, literally. I am going to get some industrial strength pepper spray and hose down these unsuspecting idiots. I am positive that this is the way that will get me that game. Did she not think past her short term goals to determine the causal effect of that action?? I am not optimistic that even while sitting in the jail cell that she understood the complete F’ing stupidity of her actions, so she could play a video game. REALLY – you idiot!! One of the victims of this dumbasses Wal-Mart Xbox rampage had to go to the hospital.

Then I read, as if the pepper spray incident weren’t bad enough, shoppers in California had to contend with something even more frightening: an actual shooting. A man was found shot and bleeding in the parking lot of a Wal-Mart in the Bay Area just before 2 a.m. The man and his family had apparently been the victim of an attempted mugging, as “several” people with guns tried to take the family’s purchases by force. Meanwhile, police in Fayetteville, N.C., reported gunshots fired near the food court of a local mall at 2 a.m., but no injuries were reported.

And then there were the fights– after all, what Black Friday would be complete without the fights? In Kissimmee, Fla., two men fought at a jewelry counter at a Wal-Mart, and one of them had to be dragged away by the police, according to the Orlando Sentinel. Other customers captured videos of shouting matches in line, skirmishes in stores and showdowns between shoppers and protestors affiliated with Occupy Wall Street and put them up on YouTube.

Sadly, Black Friday violence is nothing new, though the actual number of injuries this year seems higher. In 2010, one shopper in California was arrested for carrying a handgun and ammunition to stores and another was arrested for threatening to shoot those in line, though neither actually hurt other customers. Then, of course, there was the infamous stampede at a New York Wal-Mart on Black Friday three years ago that resulted in the death of one employee.

This level of insanity begs the question – what the fuck?? How is that our world has become so obsessed with the material possessions that are made overseas that we do this. I myself have never been and have no plans to ever go shopping on black Friday. There is nothing for sale in any store that would cause me to pitch a damn tent on the sidewalk in front of the store – NOTHING!! The few bucks we might save on that TV or game console is not worth the risk of being freaking pepper sprayed or shot in the freaking parking lot so someone can relieve me of my recent possessions, not happening!

I researched a bit on black Friday and found that the term has been used since 1966 when it was coined in Philadelphia, PA. By 1975 the term was spreading outside the Philly area, although I do not ever remember hearing that term until at least the 90’s. it seems so crazy now that Wal-Mart is starting the day before, not just at 4 in the morning, or even midnight. I still think the after Christmas sales are better. Not quite as much craziness and they are dumping stock from the inventory so they don’t have to spend the money to count it or to have it sitting on the shelves.

I myself am looking for a new TV and I think I am going to wait until after Christmas to buy it. You can be sure that I will be packing the big .45 to compete with those who are armed and I will be carrying some pepper spray and a long wire Taser for the unarmed. So there you have it, consider that a warning, if you see me – DO NOT get in my way, that damn TV is mine!!!