Well, it all started a long time ago in a land far, far away, seems that a LONG time ago our calendar only had 10 months and they started with March. Why March you might be wondering, I know I was. Well that was the beginning of spring and when a society is agrarian, that is an important time and since what is now January and February had ZERO agricultural relevance, there was no need to count them. I also learned that September, October, November and December have latin roots in 7,8,9, and ten respectively. Seems odd since they are now months 9,10,11 and 12 - but I found there is a reason for that as well. Before the overly egotistical Roman Emperors started meddling July and August were originally called Quintilis, which was fifth and Sextilis, which was sixth. I could not find it but I suppose that March, April, May and June were somehow derived from 1,2,3, and 4, don’t know for sure but I would bet a dollar on it.
So how did we get to where we are now and how in world did one of the two new months end up with 28 days? It seems that it was a political, religious and superstitious decision made roughly 2700 years ago by the Roman King Numa Pompilius. Before that, the Romans had a ten-month calendar with 304 days, that included 61 winter days (between December and March). Those days were not assigned to any of the 10 existing months. Well in the 8th century BC astronomy was not as understood as it is today and although he was close there were a lot of leap days in there to keep the calendar on time with the actual seasons. Still pretty impressive when you think about it, 8000 years before the time of Christ we had gotten to with 10 days of figuring out that the planet took 365 days to circle the sun. Especially considering it was not until the Copernicus proposed a crazy assed theory that Earth revolves around the Sun. He based his research on the heliocentric theory but was never able to prove it. It was not until Galileo came along and observed that truth and later when Kepler did the math was it proven and that was not until the 1500’s AD (or CE for you common era folks).
Many years later, Julius Caesar, after becoming dictator perpetuo (dictator for life) reorganized the calendar yet again, he somehow figured out the right number of days - giving it 365. Julius Caesar also created the month of July, in his own honor and gave it more days than any other month at 31 days. A bit later when Augustus became Caesar he wanted his own month as well and he wanted it to have more says as well, hence July and August being messing up the original number system for the months and why both have 31 days. There are those who say he made February 29 days long, 30 in leap year, and that Augustus Caesar later pilfered a day; others say Julius just kept it at 28. When Christianity spread further (because of the organizational skills of Emperor Constantine), the beginning of the Calendar was changed to coincide with the month epiphany, rather than the pagan tradition of the month of the vernal equinox that more coincided with the planting and harvests. Some others say that since it was last month it simply ran out of days because of the pilfering by the Emperors of Rome. Others say that it was all stolen from Egyptians (who used a solar calendar in honor of the sun god Ra instead of the lunar calendar the Roman one was based on), which I believe is probably closer to the truth. But like any bureaucracy the Roman Senate created the now alternating (except Julius and Augustus) number of days in a month, who knows why.
So who really knows why February has only 28 days, the only thing I do know is that like many things in our lives today the current calendar was organized by the Roman Empire, those guys we WAY ahead of their time.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Friday, February 25, 2011
Federally funding PBS and NPR – why, or better yet, why not. A lifelong republican’s take on the matter
There has been much talk lately about cutting the funding for the Corporation for Public Broadcasting (CPB) which is the primary mechanism to supply Federal funding to the public broadcasting stations. It is nothing new really, dating back to the inception of CPB there have been cries about the funding of television and radio stations with tax payer money. CPB was formed on November 7th 1967 when President Johnson signed into law the public broadcasting act of 1967. It was not until 1969 that the Public Broadcasting Service was established and in 1970 National Public Radio was formed. Historically 15-20% of the aggregate revenues for those stations come through CPB. Their budget is composed almost entirely of an annual appropriation from Congress plus interest on those funds. For fiscal year 2010, its appropriation was $422 million.
Yep, 422 million ANNUALLY and by my math that is about what our government is wasting per day fighting wars in foreign countries – that is PER DAY folks (based on the last number I found of 12 billion per month). Another comparative number is Medicaid, which is in the neighborhood of 833 million dollars a day, again that is PER DAY! Or if one were to look at social security, we are talking about a whopping 2.2 billion dollars a day, 2 billion dollars a day. If we look at the normal defense budget, 1.9 BILLION dollars a day. Those damn numbers do not even fit inside my head, the scope of money that the government spends each day is staggering and scary. I was only using those federal programs to demonstrate comparisons on the money, I in no way am comparing the services of Social Security and Military spending to PBS and NPR funding.
With CPB funded at 1.1 million dollars a day it seems so out of place to be on the chopping block. Those 1.1 million dollars a day cover about 350 local TV stations and about 900 local radio stations. When I say local, most are producing and broadcasting locally oriented programming that no one else would or could do. That local content is critical to the communities they serve. If overly simple math were used (the kind I can understand) on those funds it comes out to about $880 bucks a day per station. Now I know the distribution is not even among any of them and it is based on market size (how many people can hear or watch) but you can see that the federal funding is not enough to keep us going. It is however significant enough to have a detrimental impact on the local stations if it goes away and I do not want to imagine a world without the programming and services PBS and NPR provide.
Especially when you consider that on the TV side, PBS provides kiddo safe programming, FREE over the air, to every person in the United States using the ultimate wireless technology, all you need is a TV and a coat hanger. And it is not just shows like you might find on Nickelodeon or the cartoon network, these are all shows that bear the small “e i” at the top. That "e i" means that those programs are teaching our yut’s something meaningful. You do not get that for providing sponge bob square pants, while entertaining it has no real educational value at all. That means if you must use a boob tube as a babysitter you will never have to worry about what your kids are watching on PBS, NEVER!! I grew up fascinated by what Mr. Rogers was showing me and later realized that Big Bird was teaching me lessons I would need later in life for conflict resolution. You do not get that from regular cartoons folks and you never will.
On the radio side, NPR does provide more in-depth stories than any of the so called news outlets. Sure most folks on the right, and I was one of them, claim that it is 100% liberal nonsense. Trust me when I tell you, I used to think that way as well and ya know why – because they were presenting a viewpoint that I did not agree with. The so called news organizations today are driven by ratings and base their coverage on whatever the news cycle is for that particular moment in time. We have all seen it, putting two idiots on opposite sides of the table and letting them spew their take on whatever topic for 3 minutes each does not constitute news. No one ever digs into the story to find out which one is lying and call bullshit on them, not that they do not want to BUT because there is always another news cycle and the details of the story will not make ratings, only the sensational bullshit they call Fair and Balanced or The Worldwide Leader in News or A Fuller Spectrum of News or any other number of tag lines. I am not saying that all are biased, only that none of them are without bias. I feel strongly that NPR and the little bit of PBS news is at least telling us more of the story than the others are.
Anyway, if you do not know, I work for a PBS and NPR station, I have been there 13 years and it is the best, most rewarding job I have ever had. I doubt that I will ever work for a for profit company again, being able to work at a place that is mission driven is SO DIFFERENT than working for one that is bottom line driven. I am not saying that being driven by the dollar is a bad thing at all, it is the American way. But I am saying that mission driven organizations are also an important part of our society. Where would Parkinson’s research be without Michael J Fox, they would be 228 million dollars behind where they are now. Imagine a world with no Bill and Melinda Gates foundation, the ultimate republican doing good things because they need doing. At WJCT (in Jacksonville Fl) WJCT’s mission is to provide programming and services that celebrate human diversity, encourage joyful learning, promote civic participation and empower citizens to improve the quality of their lives.
That mission covers a lot of ground and they do SO much more than just broadcast programming to radios and televisions. They provide outreach programs to teacher and kids and the commitment goes far beyond television, encompassing Ready To Learn, Share a Story, and other initiatives that put educational tools directly in the hands of parents and caregivers. WJCT is a trusted classroom resource, providing free lesson plans, teachers’ guides and online activities for K-12 educators. Assisting parents, caregivers and educators in countless ways, to help kids succeed.
I have also heard the talk about Sesame Street being able to stand on its own, and it could, if the playing field were equal. The problem is, the playing field is not equal, public broadcasting is severely limited by the charter that the congress setup all those years ago. They do not have commercials, they have underwriting and most folks do not know or understand the difference. There is a book about 5 inches thick that details the rules about the content of those underwriting spots, there can be no calls to action statements. There are also very few places to insert underwriting, there is usually about 84 to 168 seconds of time per hour that is not programming. In that short amount of time they have to get in a legal identification, any promo’s for upcoming shows and events and any underwriting they can get in there. There are simply not enough seconds per hour to get enough ad revenue in there, even if there were not the crazy rules they must operate under.
The spots on PBS and NPR stations are only allowed to talk about the attributes of the product being presented, there can be no comparisons of products like you see in regular television commercials. Like this car has a better handling that that other car, you will see none of that and hear none of that on PBS or NPR. Big deal you might say, well I used to agree BUT the folks who want to advertise primary want that kind of sensationalistic spot, hell I would as well if I were advertising. I mean some of those super bowl commercials are incredible. Public Broadcasting can not do that, not because they don’t want to but because they are not allowed and all things are obviously not equal.
PBS remains #1 in public trust, with 49% of the population of our country trusting PBS “a great deal“. Second in trust are “courts of law,” which are trusted “a great deal by 27%”. The first in public trust, 49%!! That is not insignificant to me and it should not be insignificant to you either. It seems completely crazy to me that CPB is being targeted for removal from the budget, removal of funds. I mean of all the things that our government wastes money on, on a monumental scale, CPB is a cheap date with a hell of a foot print in our society. I mean seriously, who among us has not enjoyed an episode of Mr. Rogers? I am not afraid to admit it, I enjoyed watching that show well into adulthood. He did very interesting things long before there were a glut of cheap imposters.
I can’t imagine a world without public broadcasting in it, from Bert and Ernie to Elmo to Nova and Scientific American Frontiers to Morning Edition to Car talk . Are they all good, no, but they all have meaning to someone and without them our country would be missing an important part of who we are. And with only 422 million dollars at stake, we are not going to balance the federal or state budgets by cutting that funding from the budget, NO WAY and NOT EVEN CLOSE.
I am asking that you follow this link and let your vote count, if for no other reason than I asked ya to.
http://www.170millionamericans.org/
Here is a link to WJCT’s site
http://www.wjct.org/about
And here is a GREAT article by Rick Steve’s about the issue.
http://www.usatoday.com/news/opinion/forum/2011-02-17-column17_ST1_N.htm?sms_ss=facebook&at_xt=4d5eaeb327587299%2C0
Yep, 422 million ANNUALLY and by my math that is about what our government is wasting per day fighting wars in foreign countries – that is PER DAY folks (based on the last number I found of 12 billion per month). Another comparative number is Medicaid, which is in the neighborhood of 833 million dollars a day, again that is PER DAY! Or if one were to look at social security, we are talking about a whopping 2.2 billion dollars a day, 2 billion dollars a day. If we look at the normal defense budget, 1.9 BILLION dollars a day. Those damn numbers do not even fit inside my head, the scope of money that the government spends each day is staggering and scary. I was only using those federal programs to demonstrate comparisons on the money, I in no way am comparing the services of Social Security and Military spending to PBS and NPR funding.
With CPB funded at 1.1 million dollars a day it seems so out of place to be on the chopping block. Those 1.1 million dollars a day cover about 350 local TV stations and about 900 local radio stations. When I say local, most are producing and broadcasting locally oriented programming that no one else would or could do. That local content is critical to the communities they serve. If overly simple math were used (the kind I can understand) on those funds it comes out to about $880 bucks a day per station. Now I know the distribution is not even among any of them and it is based on market size (how many people can hear or watch) but you can see that the federal funding is not enough to keep us going. It is however significant enough to have a detrimental impact on the local stations if it goes away and I do not want to imagine a world without the programming and services PBS and NPR provide.
Especially when you consider that on the TV side, PBS provides kiddo safe programming, FREE over the air, to every person in the United States using the ultimate wireless technology, all you need is a TV and a coat hanger. And it is not just shows like you might find on Nickelodeon or the cartoon network, these are all shows that bear the small “e i” at the top. That "e i" means that those programs are teaching our yut’s something meaningful. You do not get that for providing sponge bob square pants, while entertaining it has no real educational value at all. That means if you must use a boob tube as a babysitter you will never have to worry about what your kids are watching on PBS, NEVER!! I grew up fascinated by what Mr. Rogers was showing me and later realized that Big Bird was teaching me lessons I would need later in life for conflict resolution. You do not get that from regular cartoons folks and you never will.
On the radio side, NPR does provide more in-depth stories than any of the so called news outlets. Sure most folks on the right, and I was one of them, claim that it is 100% liberal nonsense. Trust me when I tell you, I used to think that way as well and ya know why – because they were presenting a viewpoint that I did not agree with. The so called news organizations today are driven by ratings and base their coverage on whatever the news cycle is for that particular moment in time. We have all seen it, putting two idiots on opposite sides of the table and letting them spew their take on whatever topic for 3 minutes each does not constitute news. No one ever digs into the story to find out which one is lying and call bullshit on them, not that they do not want to BUT because there is always another news cycle and the details of the story will not make ratings, only the sensational bullshit they call Fair and Balanced or The Worldwide Leader in News or A Fuller Spectrum of News or any other number of tag lines. I am not saying that all are biased, only that none of them are without bias. I feel strongly that NPR and the little bit of PBS news is at least telling us more of the story than the others are.
Anyway, if you do not know, I work for a PBS and NPR station, I have been there 13 years and it is the best, most rewarding job I have ever had. I doubt that I will ever work for a for profit company again, being able to work at a place that is mission driven is SO DIFFERENT than working for one that is bottom line driven. I am not saying that being driven by the dollar is a bad thing at all, it is the American way. But I am saying that mission driven organizations are also an important part of our society. Where would Parkinson’s research be without Michael J Fox, they would be 228 million dollars behind where they are now. Imagine a world with no Bill and Melinda Gates foundation, the ultimate republican doing good things because they need doing. At WJCT (in Jacksonville Fl) WJCT’s mission is to provide programming and services that celebrate human diversity, encourage joyful learning, promote civic participation and empower citizens to improve the quality of their lives.
That mission covers a lot of ground and they do SO much more than just broadcast programming to radios and televisions. They provide outreach programs to teacher and kids and the commitment goes far beyond television, encompassing Ready To Learn, Share a Story, and other initiatives that put educational tools directly in the hands of parents and caregivers. WJCT is a trusted classroom resource, providing free lesson plans, teachers’ guides and online activities for K-12 educators. Assisting parents, caregivers and educators in countless ways, to help kids succeed.
I have also heard the talk about Sesame Street being able to stand on its own, and it could, if the playing field were equal. The problem is, the playing field is not equal, public broadcasting is severely limited by the charter that the congress setup all those years ago. They do not have commercials, they have underwriting and most folks do not know or understand the difference. There is a book about 5 inches thick that details the rules about the content of those underwriting spots, there can be no calls to action statements. There are also very few places to insert underwriting, there is usually about 84 to 168 seconds of time per hour that is not programming. In that short amount of time they have to get in a legal identification, any promo’s for upcoming shows and events and any underwriting they can get in there. There are simply not enough seconds per hour to get enough ad revenue in there, even if there were not the crazy rules they must operate under.
The spots on PBS and NPR stations are only allowed to talk about the attributes of the product being presented, there can be no comparisons of products like you see in regular television commercials. Like this car has a better handling that that other car, you will see none of that and hear none of that on PBS or NPR. Big deal you might say, well I used to agree BUT the folks who want to advertise primary want that kind of sensationalistic spot, hell I would as well if I were advertising. I mean some of those super bowl commercials are incredible. Public Broadcasting can not do that, not because they don’t want to but because they are not allowed and all things are obviously not equal.
PBS remains #1 in public trust, with 49% of the population of our country trusting PBS “a great deal“. Second in trust are “courts of law,” which are trusted “a great deal by 27%”. The first in public trust, 49%!! That is not insignificant to me and it should not be insignificant to you either. It seems completely crazy to me that CPB is being targeted for removal from the budget, removal of funds. I mean of all the things that our government wastes money on, on a monumental scale, CPB is a cheap date with a hell of a foot print in our society. I mean seriously, who among us has not enjoyed an episode of Mr. Rogers? I am not afraid to admit it, I enjoyed watching that show well into adulthood. He did very interesting things long before there were a glut of cheap imposters.
I can’t imagine a world without public broadcasting in it, from Bert and Ernie to Elmo to Nova and Scientific American Frontiers to Morning Edition to Car talk . Are they all good, no, but they all have meaning to someone and without them our country would be missing an important part of who we are. And with only 422 million dollars at stake, we are not going to balance the federal or state budgets by cutting that funding from the budget, NO WAY and NOT EVEN CLOSE.
I am asking that you follow this link and let your vote count, if for no other reason than I asked ya to.
http://www.170millionamericans.org/
Here is a link to WJCT’s site
http://www.wjct.org/about
And here is a GREAT article by Rick Steve’s about the issue.
http://www.usatoday.com/news/opinion/forum/2011-02-17-column17_ST1_N.htm?sms_ss=facebook&at_xt=4d5eaeb327587299%2C0
Monday, February 21, 2011
I am fat, I have figured out why and what needs done to correct that issue
So I am not sure how life works sometimes, a couple of years ago I started a new way of eating to lose some weight. When my Dad passed away all that went out the window, I had lost over 50 pounds over about 11 months. I knew when I was losing the weight that the harder part was going to be to maintain it after I hit my target weight. Well that sure proved to be true, I have gained all the weight back and still cannot for the life of me understand why I did that. I remember thinking during that weight loss that there would be no way I would throw away all that work, yet that is exactly what I did. I was mad about that but that was not really a productive outlet. I had already gained the weight back so why spend time beating myself up about that, I was fat again and I needed to just deal with it. So, that is where I am, rededicating myself to getting healthier.
So I also have some theories about why I got and why I am fat. There is a perfectly acceptable and scientific explanation of why myself and many others are gaining weight. If one were to believe the commercials that are hocking all manner of weight loss medications it could never have been our fault, it is the stress at work, our older and slower metabolism and a mess of other reasons, none of which are our fault. Well my tack is more scientific and has less to do with any specific medication. Despite my poor eating choices my weight gain is not my fault, clearly there are forces working against me. The blame obviously lands on the very universe we live in, yep, I said it - the fault lies in the cosmos. Here me out on this, this is high tech, scientific shit I am getting ready lay on ya …………
I have found, through extensive research, that 40,000 tons of space dust land on earth every day. I bet you are saying, so what? Well, let me tell ya why that is the answer to our lack of will power and subsequent obesity. With an additional 40 tons of space dust adding to the already hefty weight of the earth, (6,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 (6E+24) kilograms to be exact) the mass of the planet is increasing each day. Well, we all know happens when you increase the mass of an object. When mass increases so does the gravity that is created by that object. So we are all getting pulled down harder towards the center of mass of the planet, pulled down harder on the scales we use to measure our weight. I could go into the calculations here but I am pretty sure (99.9776458764% accurate) that over the last few years that dust accumulation has increased exponentially. Does it seem like there is more dust everywhere, at your work place, in your home and car and even in the pool filter. I am telling ya, we are getting fatter and heavier because the very planet we reside on is working to slowly crush us by increasing its gravity.
So what is the answer to us picking up this space debris, well I think we need to start blasting off the earth, 50 tons of trash every day. I mean we have all heard the concerns about landfills, why not throw it away in the biggest landfill around. I am not sure why we would not continue our short sighted approach to large problems, I mean how many generations do you think it will take before we fill up space with junk? With the ejection of more weight from the planet than is dropping on it will eventually reduce the gravity of the planet. With less gravity pulling us down we will all begin to lose weight. Seems simple to me, let’s start building those damn rockets.
I think we also need to look at the ever expanding universe as well, I mean it has to have some effect here. If everything in the universe is traveling away from everything else at an increasing speed, which is a theory I do not buy into by the way, how could that not have an effect on the specific gravity of the planet earth. I mean our solar system is but a spec, nothing more than a grain of sand on the cosmic beach called the Milky Way. There are forces afoot that are beyond our comprehension or control, there has to be an adverse effect out there somewhere, in some way, impacting my ability to lose weight, all this time I thought the stars were beautiful, until now when I realize those damn things are at fault for my fat ass – damn them anyway!
There is one other option, we could start building antigravity machines, again it seems so simple to me. If we were able to construct large scale antigravity machines we could reverse our obesity in no time. I have pondered the implementation of such a system and the challenges will be great. There are lots of issues, including a power source for such a massive machine, or groups of massive machines. I was thinking that we might start out smaller scale, units large enough for a medium sized city. I mean we have built machines that take single protons, all spinning randomly, catches them in a strong magnetic field, and lines them up, blasts them with a short, precisely tuned bursts of radio waves in order to get them to flip around and thereby creating a brief radio signature that can measured and some hot rod software can then create a picture of our innards (they call them MRI machines) a simple antigravity device will be child’s play for the smart folks who build big fancy machines.
Well, all of that aside I think I will just start eating better and exercising more, that is the only real way to stay fit and prepare ourselves for older age.
So I also have some theories about why I got and why I am fat. There is a perfectly acceptable and scientific explanation of why myself and many others are gaining weight. If one were to believe the commercials that are hocking all manner of weight loss medications it could never have been our fault, it is the stress at work, our older and slower metabolism and a mess of other reasons, none of which are our fault. Well my tack is more scientific and has less to do with any specific medication. Despite my poor eating choices my weight gain is not my fault, clearly there are forces working against me. The blame obviously lands on the very universe we live in, yep, I said it - the fault lies in the cosmos. Here me out on this, this is high tech, scientific shit I am getting ready lay on ya …………
I have found, through extensive research, that 40,000 tons of space dust land on earth every day. I bet you are saying, so what? Well, let me tell ya why that is the answer to our lack of will power and subsequent obesity. With an additional 40 tons of space dust adding to the already hefty weight of the earth, (6,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 (6E+24) kilograms to be exact) the mass of the planet is increasing each day. Well, we all know happens when you increase the mass of an object. When mass increases so does the gravity that is created by that object. So we are all getting pulled down harder towards the center of mass of the planet, pulled down harder on the scales we use to measure our weight. I could go into the calculations here but I am pretty sure (99.9776458764% accurate) that over the last few years that dust accumulation has increased exponentially. Does it seem like there is more dust everywhere, at your work place, in your home and car and even in the pool filter. I am telling ya, we are getting fatter and heavier because the very planet we reside on is working to slowly crush us by increasing its gravity.
So what is the answer to us picking up this space debris, well I think we need to start blasting off the earth, 50 tons of trash every day. I mean we have all heard the concerns about landfills, why not throw it away in the biggest landfill around. I am not sure why we would not continue our short sighted approach to large problems, I mean how many generations do you think it will take before we fill up space with junk? With the ejection of more weight from the planet than is dropping on it will eventually reduce the gravity of the planet. With less gravity pulling us down we will all begin to lose weight. Seems simple to me, let’s start building those damn rockets.
I think we also need to look at the ever expanding universe as well, I mean it has to have some effect here. If everything in the universe is traveling away from everything else at an increasing speed, which is a theory I do not buy into by the way, how could that not have an effect on the specific gravity of the planet earth. I mean our solar system is but a spec, nothing more than a grain of sand on the cosmic beach called the Milky Way. There are forces afoot that are beyond our comprehension or control, there has to be an adverse effect out there somewhere, in some way, impacting my ability to lose weight, all this time I thought the stars were beautiful, until now when I realize those damn things are at fault for my fat ass – damn them anyway!
There is one other option, we could start building antigravity machines, again it seems so simple to me. If we were able to construct large scale antigravity machines we could reverse our obesity in no time. I have pondered the implementation of such a system and the challenges will be great. There are lots of issues, including a power source for such a massive machine, or groups of massive machines. I was thinking that we might start out smaller scale, units large enough for a medium sized city. I mean we have built machines that take single protons, all spinning randomly, catches them in a strong magnetic field, and lines them up, blasts them with a short, precisely tuned bursts of radio waves in order to get them to flip around and thereby creating a brief radio signature that can measured and some hot rod software can then create a picture of our innards (they call them MRI machines) a simple antigravity device will be child’s play for the smart folks who build big fancy machines.
Well, all of that aside I think I will just start eating better and exercising more, that is the only real way to stay fit and prepare ourselves for older age.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
So here is anufur burfday – 46, who’d a thunk it?
So I am getting ready to turn 46 tomorrow, seems hard to believe really. Seems like it was just yesterday, we were sitting around in our teenage years on the stoop in Millerstown, drinking beers through a straw and smoking pot. Don’t get me wrong , I DO NOT miss those days and would not go back and relive any of them. But they, along with lots of other life experiences have brought me to where I am today – one day shy of 46 years old. I am the age my Dad was when I was that hellion of child drinking beer through a straw and smoking pot, and that makes me laugh. Think about how your life has guided you to where you are, my Dad was guided by his life to where he was. I could not imagine ever being friends with my Dad at that age. Maybe it was different time, maybe it was a different place but I can not get my head around what it would have been like to been a friend of my Dad’s.
I am very content with my station in life, where I am personally, where I am professionally and where I am as a citizen of this great Nation. All of the experiences of my life have lead me to where i am, some were good, some were great, some were bad and some were very bad. But all of them, together, have lead me here, to writing this blog about turning 46. I really had no idea what I was going to write about when I opened this word doc, the first thing that popped into my head was the fact that tomorrow, I have a birthday.
The sunrise tomorrow will be the 16,801st (including the 11 February 29th’s) since my arrival back in 1965, it seems like a lot of revolutions but really if compared to geologic time it is but a blip. Consider that is has been 85,000 sun ups and sundowns since the United States of America declared our independence from Great Britain. There have been 750,000 since Julius Ceaser was killed on the senate floor. Since homo Erectus was wondering the savanna’s of eastern Africa on his way to the top of food chain, there have been 474,500,000 sunrises and sunsets. And it there has been a staggering 237,250,000,000 sunrises since the dinosaur’s were roaming the earth. So a paltry 16,801 is but a blip on the scale on time.
There have also been 11 leap years since I was born, I wonder what it must be like to have your birthday on a leap year, how weird would it be to be able to say, yep – I am 11 years old today but actually be much older. I suspect I could have had fun with that if my burfday was February 29th. There have been 8 presidents since my arrival, I have voted in elections for 5 of them. Today I have 132 Facebook friends, I have met all but 3 of them, and I look forward to meeting those folks one day.
I realize that I most likely have had more days here than I have left, and you know what – that is fine with me. I am not sure I want to live to be older than 92 anyway, don’t know for sure but I don’t think I can picture myself at 92 years old. Haha, makes me laugh just thinking about it. I guess our own ending is something we think about the least but is the most present thing in our lives, the only guarantee we got when we arrived. The end, it does not scare me or frighten me, why should an evolutionary inevitability be something we fear? Why not use it, use it to force ourselves to live for and in today, the right now.
Yes, I am talking to you – do not wait or put off what you want from life, if you do – you will get to the end and wonder, why didn’t I do that, why did I do that. I do not want to have unanswerable questions when my time comes, whenever that is. I remember when my friend Brian was dying of cancer I told him that we all come with an expiration date, it happens to be tattooed on the inside of our asses and most likely we will never get a look to see it. Well, on one trip to California for treatment he actually asked the doctor to take a look and see if he could find his tattoo. To hear my friend Brian relate that story back to me and describe the look on the doctors face was priceless. I do miss Brian, his loss was hard but I was able to patch that hole in my heart and move on, just like I have with every loss I have suffered.
I am so lucky to have been hanging with Bride for the last 20+ years, she has brought more joy to my life than I could even describe. Her name is tattooed across my soul and that ink is not wearing off. She has brought meaning to my life and I hardly remember my life before she came into it. She got me red velvet cupcakes with cream frosting for my birthday, they were good! We don’t exchange gifts much anymore, we got everything we need and I am sometimes embarrassed by how fortunate we have been in our lives. If we do get gifts it is usually something small and silly or practical.
I am so enjoying the ride, this ride of life, and do not think I have ever been in a better place, personally. The world seems out of control to me right now, but ya know….. if you are a student of history there are many examples across time where folks must have had the same feelings we all have now, but here we are, a testament to humankinds ability to survive. So my (day before) burfday, I got to spend it with my best friend and I enjoyed the day, what more can I ask for. This is also my 214th blog, which really as Bride just pointed out to me is also my Burfday, 2-14, that makes me laugh for some reason, the perfect alignment of the stars right there I tell ya.
I love each of my friends and I do not feel I have told you enough but I do and I cherish your friendship
I am very content with my station in life, where I am personally, where I am professionally and where I am as a citizen of this great Nation. All of the experiences of my life have lead me to where i am, some were good, some were great, some were bad and some were very bad. But all of them, together, have lead me here, to writing this blog about turning 46. I really had no idea what I was going to write about when I opened this word doc, the first thing that popped into my head was the fact that tomorrow, I have a birthday.
The sunrise tomorrow will be the 16,801st (including the 11 February 29th’s) since my arrival back in 1965, it seems like a lot of revolutions but really if compared to geologic time it is but a blip. Consider that is has been 85,000 sun ups and sundowns since the United States of America declared our independence from Great Britain. There have been 750,000 since Julius Ceaser was killed on the senate floor. Since homo Erectus was wondering the savanna’s of eastern Africa on his way to the top of food chain, there have been 474,500,000 sunrises and sunsets. And it there has been a staggering 237,250,000,000 sunrises since the dinosaur’s were roaming the earth. So a paltry 16,801 is but a blip on the scale on time.
There have also been 11 leap years since I was born, I wonder what it must be like to have your birthday on a leap year, how weird would it be to be able to say, yep – I am 11 years old today but actually be much older. I suspect I could have had fun with that if my burfday was February 29th. There have been 8 presidents since my arrival, I have voted in elections for 5 of them. Today I have 132 Facebook friends, I have met all but 3 of them, and I look forward to meeting those folks one day.
I realize that I most likely have had more days here than I have left, and you know what – that is fine with me. I am not sure I want to live to be older than 92 anyway, don’t know for sure but I don’t think I can picture myself at 92 years old. Haha, makes me laugh just thinking about it. I guess our own ending is something we think about the least but is the most present thing in our lives, the only guarantee we got when we arrived. The end, it does not scare me or frighten me, why should an evolutionary inevitability be something we fear? Why not use it, use it to force ourselves to live for and in today, the right now.
Yes, I am talking to you – do not wait or put off what you want from life, if you do – you will get to the end and wonder, why didn’t I do that, why did I do that. I do not want to have unanswerable questions when my time comes, whenever that is. I remember when my friend Brian was dying of cancer I told him that we all come with an expiration date, it happens to be tattooed on the inside of our asses and most likely we will never get a look to see it. Well, on one trip to California for treatment he actually asked the doctor to take a look and see if he could find his tattoo. To hear my friend Brian relate that story back to me and describe the look on the doctors face was priceless. I do miss Brian, his loss was hard but I was able to patch that hole in my heart and move on, just like I have with every loss I have suffered.
I am so lucky to have been hanging with Bride for the last 20+ years, she has brought more joy to my life than I could even describe. Her name is tattooed across my soul and that ink is not wearing off. She has brought meaning to my life and I hardly remember my life before she came into it. She got me red velvet cupcakes with cream frosting for my birthday, they were good! We don’t exchange gifts much anymore, we got everything we need and I am sometimes embarrassed by how fortunate we have been in our lives. If we do get gifts it is usually something small and silly or practical.
I am so enjoying the ride, this ride of life, and do not think I have ever been in a better place, personally. The world seems out of control to me right now, but ya know….. if you are a student of history there are many examples across time where folks must have had the same feelings we all have now, but here we are, a testament to humankinds ability to survive. So my (day before) burfday, I got to spend it with my best friend and I enjoyed the day, what more can I ask for. This is also my 214th blog, which really as Bride just pointed out to me is also my Burfday, 2-14, that makes me laugh for some reason, the perfect alignment of the stars right there I tell ya.
I love each of my friends and I do not feel I have told you enough but I do and I cherish your friendship
Saturday, February 5, 2011
How to memorialize a GREAT friend
Yesterday I received in my email the most amazing memorial from a great friend about another one of his great friends. The subject line read simply “lessons from life”. As I was reading through I was reminded how much I enjoy talking with, emailing with and face-booking with my friend, he holds some genuine wisdom of life and we share a great many of the same life philosophies. Neither of us consider ourselves religious but we are both, most assuredly, spiritual seekers. We have been friends for about 10 years I guess, after spending a few hours outside the MGM Grand’s convention center in Vegas smoking some fine cigars talking about life I knew we would be friends forever. I was so touched by my friends memorial that I asked if I could post it here with a little of his friends story, and he agreed.
Lessons from life:
It seems you eventually come to understand that the tough times illuminate what's really important in your spirit. They disperse the trivia, annoyances and minor issues and make you aware of reality- of yourself as finite, fallible and often helpless. Your wish you could transcend the situation and emotion- but often, you can't. You just have to try to find a way to handle whatever it is, store it in a place where you can absorb it or at least minimize the damage from it and figure out how it affects what you do next. I used to try to just glaze over the bad stuff- "tough it out" -kinda' ignore how bad it really hurt and act like if I ignored it - it would go away = not a realistic or healthy practice as it eventually ferments, expands and explodes into your life. So- I've learned through repeated practice to manage the tough times by trying to confront the tough thing face-to-face and fight it - try to get it 'fixed' and try to move on. Honestly it doesn't always work and some things are too big to fight all at once and you have to fight them in multiple bouts, over multiple years- or even forever.
More importantly these times remind you how precious each day really is and they make me even more committed to 'wring every drop out of every day'.
...today a dear friend who's been fighting ALS (Lou Gherig's disease) decided to be taken off life support , freeing him from paralysis and allowing him to "go to be with the creator of this amazing world"
Powerful stuff right there!
Later I was one FB and noticed he was online, so I pinged him. We “chatted” in the new electronic way for a few minutes, during which I asked him to send me an email with 2 things in it. First I wanted to know the story of they met and secondly I wanted to hear the funniest story he could remember about the two of them. I ask that question of friends who have suffered a loss, I find it helps take the sting out of their loss. Even if for only a moment it gets them remembering their friend instead of their own loss.
He sent me back a two page email telling the story of how they met and about some great adventures they had in Alaska, where his friend had lived since the 70’s. He told me they had become “instant friends”, his friend was amused that he was so excited about being in Alaska. My friend had always planned on getting to Alaska after watching Marlin Perkins tagging Polar Bears on Wild Kingdom as a little kid. I love that show as well, I will sit safely in the boat while Jim wrestles the 30 foot anaconda - that Jim was one bad dude. My friend later got to meet Marlin Perkins while working on a research project for North Carolina State University.
The same day they met, his friend invited him to dinner at his home, he rode with him to pick up his son, all zipped up in a 'Michelin man' snowsuit, from kindergarten and had big grilled Silver Salmon steaks. Later they spent time pouring over maps and planning various treks out to see some of the places on his "list". From that meeting grew one of the best friendships he has ever had, they got to see each other almost every year- sometimes more than once, until now. They worked together on a distance learning project that ran for many years and touched the lives of countless kids that gave them the opportunity to put together a really cool link between the kids in the middle school in Barrow Alaska - the northernmost town in the continental US and the kids in a Middle school in Jacksonville , FL. where the temperature difference between the two places was greater than 100 degrees. My friend told of how the he kids sat there for the first few minutes staring at each other till finally one of the Inupiat kids asked "what kind of music do you all listen to?"- and it was on- a true cultural exchange.
My friend used words like - educator, curriculum developer , Big Thinker and master communicator when describing his friend. His friend had helped him fulfill his adventure quests and had followed him to places even he would have never gone alone, even saying that it helped him discover things about Alaska that he never noticed even though they were right under his nose. My friend, in his thirst for the essence of life, often challenged his friend to 'set his spirit free' - expand his boundaries and to be more adventurous - they once went out to a Glacier when he was suffering through a tough patch and stood and YELLED at the top of their lungs and then laughed their heads off- a practice that brought them much joy and one they adopted and regularly practiced in "THEIR CHURCH". (remote Alaska)
As we chatted on FB he told me about an email exchange they had the day before the life support machines were unplugged. He did not tell me of the contents of his email to his friend but he did share with me what his friend’s reply was, the simple and profound reply was "love you my friend" what more can you say?” After letting my mind absorb that for a moment I told him, “love you my Friend, what more can one say - he was at peace with the world, you know that right?”
So my heart is heavy, not for my loss, but for my friend who lost a GREAT friend. For some reason I am reminded of a scene from the movie, Waking Ned Devine where Jackie (a lead character) delivers a well crafted eulogy about how wonderful it would be to tell a friend you love him while he is still alive. Maybe it was because my friend told me he loved me, we both try to live in the moment and do not mind telling our friends and loved ones how we feel about each other, one never knows when ones time is up and what a shame it would be to miss the opportunity to tell the people important to you what they mean to you.
Buddy, you must go find that movie, Waking Ned Devine, and watch it, after that I want you to go find yourself a great cigar, head north till you find a snow covered lake and have a yell, yell and laugh and remember your great friend. Thanks for sharing the stories with me brother.
Here is picture of them, having a yell on a glacier in Alaska.
Lessons from life:
It seems you eventually come to understand that the tough times illuminate what's really important in your spirit. They disperse the trivia, annoyances and minor issues and make you aware of reality- of yourself as finite, fallible and often helpless. Your wish you could transcend the situation and emotion- but often, you can't. You just have to try to find a way to handle whatever it is, store it in a place where you can absorb it or at least minimize the damage from it and figure out how it affects what you do next. I used to try to just glaze over the bad stuff- "tough it out" -kinda' ignore how bad it really hurt and act like if I ignored it - it would go away = not a realistic or healthy practice as it eventually ferments, expands and explodes into your life. So- I've learned through repeated practice to manage the tough times by trying to confront the tough thing face-to-face and fight it - try to get it 'fixed' and try to move on. Honestly it doesn't always work and some things are too big to fight all at once and you have to fight them in multiple bouts, over multiple years- or even forever.
More importantly these times remind you how precious each day really is and they make me even more committed to 'wring every drop out of every day'.
...today a dear friend who's been fighting ALS (Lou Gherig's disease) decided to be taken off life support , freeing him from paralysis and allowing him to "go to be with the creator of this amazing world"
Powerful stuff right there!
Later I was one FB and noticed he was online, so I pinged him. We “chatted” in the new electronic way for a few minutes, during which I asked him to send me an email with 2 things in it. First I wanted to know the story of they met and secondly I wanted to hear the funniest story he could remember about the two of them. I ask that question of friends who have suffered a loss, I find it helps take the sting out of their loss. Even if for only a moment it gets them remembering their friend instead of their own loss.
He sent me back a two page email telling the story of how they met and about some great adventures they had in Alaska, where his friend had lived since the 70’s. He told me they had become “instant friends”, his friend was amused that he was so excited about being in Alaska. My friend had always planned on getting to Alaska after watching Marlin Perkins tagging Polar Bears on Wild Kingdom as a little kid. I love that show as well, I will sit safely in the boat while Jim wrestles the 30 foot anaconda - that Jim was one bad dude. My friend later got to meet Marlin Perkins while working on a research project for North Carolina State University.
The same day they met, his friend invited him to dinner at his home, he rode with him to pick up his son, all zipped up in a 'Michelin man' snowsuit, from kindergarten and had big grilled Silver Salmon steaks. Later they spent time pouring over maps and planning various treks out to see some of the places on his "list". From that meeting grew one of the best friendships he has ever had, they got to see each other almost every year- sometimes more than once, until now. They worked together on a distance learning project that ran for many years and touched the lives of countless kids that gave them the opportunity to put together a really cool link between the kids in the middle school in Barrow Alaska - the northernmost town in the continental US and the kids in a Middle school in Jacksonville , FL. where the temperature difference between the two places was greater than 100 degrees. My friend told of how the he kids sat there for the first few minutes staring at each other till finally one of the Inupiat kids asked "what kind of music do you all listen to?"- and it was on- a true cultural exchange.
My friend used words like - educator, curriculum developer , Big Thinker and master communicator when describing his friend. His friend had helped him fulfill his adventure quests and had followed him to places even he would have never gone alone, even saying that it helped him discover things about Alaska that he never noticed even though they were right under his nose. My friend, in his thirst for the essence of life, often challenged his friend to 'set his spirit free' - expand his boundaries and to be more adventurous - they once went out to a Glacier when he was suffering through a tough patch and stood and YELLED at the top of their lungs and then laughed their heads off- a practice that brought them much joy and one they adopted and regularly practiced in "THEIR CHURCH". (remote Alaska)
As we chatted on FB he told me about an email exchange they had the day before the life support machines were unplugged. He did not tell me of the contents of his email to his friend but he did share with me what his friend’s reply was, the simple and profound reply was "love you my friend" what more can you say?” After letting my mind absorb that for a moment I told him, “love you my Friend, what more can one say - he was at peace with the world, you know that right?”
So my heart is heavy, not for my loss, but for my friend who lost a GREAT friend. For some reason I am reminded of a scene from the movie, Waking Ned Devine where Jackie (a lead character) delivers a well crafted eulogy about how wonderful it would be to tell a friend you love him while he is still alive. Maybe it was because my friend told me he loved me, we both try to live in the moment and do not mind telling our friends and loved ones how we feel about each other, one never knows when ones time is up and what a shame it would be to miss the opportunity to tell the people important to you what they mean to you.
Buddy, you must go find that movie, Waking Ned Devine, and watch it, after that I want you to go find yourself a great cigar, head north till you find a snow covered lake and have a yell, yell and laugh and remember your great friend. Thanks for sharing the stories with me brother.
Here is picture of them, having a yell on a glacier in Alaska.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
The loss of a GREAT friend - I will be forever changed
Losing friends is never easy, they are terribly missed and the closer the relationship the more painful the loss. I recently lost one of my closest friends, we have been friends as long as I have been an adult. It has been so bad that I have had terrible headaches since the loss. I miss him and I miss everything he represented, to me and to others. He was widely known and much respected. I am not sure if I will be able to adjust my life to work without him in it, that is how important he was to me. I have cried until my eyes were swollen shut and the hole in heart is still there. The hurt is literally tangible, my body hurts because of my loss.
So who this friend I lost, who was he really? He was born in 1959, one year after the Jalopy was built. He lived a full life and brought joy to millions, yes millions of people and yet he was accessible to normal folk, just like me. He and I had become closer than ever in recent years and he was very good to and for me. He helped me get through every day, sometimes it seemed like that help was…. insignificant. That was until he was no longer around to offer support to me. The fact that he was an inspiration to me every day was sometimes taken for granted, I am so sorry that was how I felt some days because now, well now I feel hollow and not at all myself without him in my life.
I scanned back through my blogs to see how often I mentioned his name and was shocked by the results, I have mentioned him in 46 different blogs, and I have only written 211 of them. I scanned back through the 46 and found that I never had a cross word to say about him, not one. But alas, I guess everyone has their day and their time in the sun and his time was up, sad as it was that is the reality of the situation. He had the greatest pet in the world as well, Conchita was the most loyal animal a man could ask for. Conchita did not make it through either, I am almost equally saddened by that, I will miss that mule.
My friend’s name, Juan Valdez and his pet, Conchita the mule, that carried the bags of coffee beans. Yep, I have given up coffee! I am saddened and all that I said earlier is true, the lack of caffeine is giving me a killer headache since I quit. What has brought me to this lowly fate, a couple of reasons really. If you read regularly you know that I have recently started examining myself against the 13 virtues that Ben Franklin created and judged himself against for most of his life. I have been looking at Temperance first and it is eat not to dullness and drink not to elevation. Since I do not drink I decided to look at my coffee intake, which was substantial. Basically over a half a gallon a day with nearly 1000 calories in flavored coffee creamers.
So I was looking at that when Bride got some news from the Doc’s that she needed to remove caffeine from her world. So after that I thought I would, in an act of solidarity, join her in giving it up. Caffeine is HORRIBLY rough on the lining of the stomach and even though i was not having issues – Bride was so I thought I would join her. She is continuing with decaffeinated but my thinking is why bother to drink hot brown water if it does not contain the nectar of the gods? Not worth it to me so I decided to just quit, cold turkey and it has been rough.
So back to the virtues of Ben Franklin I decided to go look a bit at number 5, frugality. Now I get that coffee every day from the Gate station, there were many reasons but I very rarely ever made it at home. We also use Quicken on the computer for our banking, it ties right in and synchronizes up with our bank. Since we enter our receipts religiously and do so with as much detail as possible I was able perform a detailed report. That lead me to make the fateful decision to pull up all the times I bought coffee at gate with my debit card, which would be close as I rarely carry cash. So a couple of clicks and that was the cold, stark reality of my coffee consumption. I was SHOCKED at the amount, in the last 12 months alone I have spent $757.89, on coffee. HOLY COW I thought and wondered why I have never looked at that cost before. I am so glad I only queried the last 12 months and not the last 10 years, yes I keep those banking files in perpetuity sorted by calendar year.
So the bottom line is that while I was working on Temperance and with Brides news to cut caffeine out I was able to make a positive change in my life and make progress on two virtues, Temperance and Frugality. For some reason it does not seem to positive a change yet, I am hopeful that when the headaches subside I will be able to realize the positives of this change. I do not have to worry about it eroding my stomach lining to the point that I start having problems and I will be able to save 750 bucks a year – BONUS. I am now wondering what to do with all the free coffee cards I have saved up. I suppose I will go to gate and break the news to my friends who work there and give them the cards to hand out as they deem fit.
Juan Valdez, Conchita – I will miss you more than I can describe and I will always love you but you are dead to me now!
So who this friend I lost, who was he really? He was born in 1959, one year after the Jalopy was built. He lived a full life and brought joy to millions, yes millions of people and yet he was accessible to normal folk, just like me. He and I had become closer than ever in recent years and he was very good to and for me. He helped me get through every day, sometimes it seemed like that help was…. insignificant. That was until he was no longer around to offer support to me. The fact that he was an inspiration to me every day was sometimes taken for granted, I am so sorry that was how I felt some days because now, well now I feel hollow and not at all myself without him in my life.
I scanned back through my blogs to see how often I mentioned his name and was shocked by the results, I have mentioned him in 46 different blogs, and I have only written 211 of them. I scanned back through the 46 and found that I never had a cross word to say about him, not one. But alas, I guess everyone has their day and their time in the sun and his time was up, sad as it was that is the reality of the situation. He had the greatest pet in the world as well, Conchita was the most loyal animal a man could ask for. Conchita did not make it through either, I am almost equally saddened by that, I will miss that mule.
My friend’s name, Juan Valdez and his pet, Conchita the mule, that carried the bags of coffee beans. Yep, I have given up coffee! I am saddened and all that I said earlier is true, the lack of caffeine is giving me a killer headache since I quit. What has brought me to this lowly fate, a couple of reasons really. If you read regularly you know that I have recently started examining myself against the 13 virtues that Ben Franklin created and judged himself against for most of his life. I have been looking at Temperance first and it is eat not to dullness and drink not to elevation. Since I do not drink I decided to look at my coffee intake, which was substantial. Basically over a half a gallon a day with nearly 1000 calories in flavored coffee creamers.
So I was looking at that when Bride got some news from the Doc’s that she needed to remove caffeine from her world. So after that I thought I would, in an act of solidarity, join her in giving it up. Caffeine is HORRIBLY rough on the lining of the stomach and even though i was not having issues – Bride was so I thought I would join her. She is continuing with decaffeinated but my thinking is why bother to drink hot brown water if it does not contain the nectar of the gods? Not worth it to me so I decided to just quit, cold turkey and it has been rough.
So back to the virtues of Ben Franklin I decided to go look a bit at number 5, frugality. Now I get that coffee every day from the Gate station, there were many reasons but I very rarely ever made it at home. We also use Quicken on the computer for our banking, it ties right in and synchronizes up with our bank. Since we enter our receipts religiously and do so with as much detail as possible I was able perform a detailed report. That lead me to make the fateful decision to pull up all the times I bought coffee at gate with my debit card, which would be close as I rarely carry cash. So a couple of clicks and that was the cold, stark reality of my coffee consumption. I was SHOCKED at the amount, in the last 12 months alone I have spent $757.89, on coffee. HOLY COW I thought and wondered why I have never looked at that cost before. I am so glad I only queried the last 12 months and not the last 10 years, yes I keep those banking files in perpetuity sorted by calendar year.
So the bottom line is that while I was working on Temperance and with Brides news to cut caffeine out I was able to make a positive change in my life and make progress on two virtues, Temperance and Frugality. For some reason it does not seem to positive a change yet, I am hopeful that when the headaches subside I will be able to realize the positives of this change. I do not have to worry about it eroding my stomach lining to the point that I start having problems and I will be able to save 750 bucks a year – BONUS. I am now wondering what to do with all the free coffee cards I have saved up. I suppose I will go to gate and break the news to my friends who work there and give them the cards to hand out as they deem fit.
Juan Valdez, Conchita – I will miss you more than I can describe and I will always love you but you are dead to me now!
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Well, I am still looking at myself with respect to Temperance – this is interesting!
1. Temperance - Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation.
Well since I started examining myself I have found a few things that I need to improve upon. Eating is the main one, I love to eat and I eat fast. I think that is a leftover from my days in the Navy, not sure but I think. Both are bad, eating to dullness, stuffing too much crap in my pie hole. Eating fast can not be good for the digestive system either. I have found that it is not even that I am eating bad things, I just eat too much of it, whether it be a salad or a steak or ba-skeddi – I did not even realize that eating to dullness was one of my hobbies. Not until I started looking at it. I suspect that is why I am overweight.
I did see a commercial that other day that told me that being overweight and having extra weight in certain areas was not my fault at all. It has to do with the stress at work and the fact that I am older now and my slow metabolism – what a bonus I thought, my fat ass has nothing to do with my obvious lack of self-control at all and is somehow not at all my fault or caused in anyway by my shoveling food into my face like someone who knew not where there next meal was coming from – shameful!
So Bride and I have decided to change some things in our lives, not a diet per say but a change in lifestyle. There are a number of things we are implementing into our lives and a number of things that we are looking at removing. I think more than anything it boils down to portion control and moving my chubby ass around more. The more movement the more food one needs, the less movement the less food we need. It all sounds so easy but I know it is not.
A couple of years ago I decided I would change my eating habits, I ended up losing about 52 pounds. It took almost a year but little by little the weight dropped off. I was astounded at the ease at which the plan was working, it was not hard. I knew though that when I hit my target weight it would be harder to transition from losing to maintaining. Then on October 24 of 2009 my Dad passed, for reasons I can not really get my head around I completely abandoned my new way of eating. I have pondered that for some time but I stopped eating from the outside edges of the grocery store and packed the weight back on, I was stunned, amazed and ashamed all at the same time. No idea why my Dad’s death would manifest itself in my abandonment of my new eating habits, I had been doing it for a year.
So I am going back to a better way of eating, less of everything. I do not plan to cut anything out per say but just reduce the intake. I will I think slow the intake of beef in the process but the reasons for that have nothing to do with losing weight. Bride picked up come cookbooks that are geared towards a diabetic because that is a very good way to eat, regardless of whether one is diabetic or not. I am looking forward to seeing some of the master pieces she will be creating. I am also going to continue to watch my intake, I know I am not going to be perfect but if I slow down long enough to just look at myself and what I am doing I know that will help he curb the intake. I usually eat so fast that I never pay attention to volume.
I really never even noticed it before I started looking at Temperance, it really amazed me to start analyzing my behavior. I have not really been pleased with what I am finding out about myself but as they say, problem recognition is the first step to problem resolution.
The other part of temperance is not drinking to elevation. I do not drink so I decided to look at the coffee intake. I drink a cup from Gate every morning, and most days I go get a second cup before 10am and then most days Bride and I go to the park on the river with another coffee to watch the sun go down. Doesn’t seem to bad right, well considering that each cup is 24 ounces, or 72 ounces total for the day. That is over a half a gallon of coffee a day – holy shit that is a lot of coffee and of course in that coffee has Irish Cream flavoring. Now that stuff has 35 calories per tablespoon, and get this – I just measured it out and I put 8 of those bad boys in each cup. There is a little pattern on the inside bottom of the cup so I filled the cup to that mark with cream then filled the rest with coffee. That is 840 calories a day in coffee cream for petes sake, I have run off the rails on that.
So the other day Bride had some scoping work done and we met with the doctor a few days later to go over the results. He indicated the stomach lining was problematic and asked, do you drink caffeinated coffee, yes was the answer. He said that has to stop, coffee was OK - but she was to stop the caffeine part. So Bride is obviously not happy about that. A bit of research quickly told me that caffeine is not good for the lining of any stomach. That has lead me to, in an act of solidarity, stop drinking coffee for a while. If I do have some it will be decaffeinated. I am somewhat scared, tomorrow is my first day. The last time I stopped drinking coffee was when I stopped smoking. It, along with Mt. Dew were triggers and I never have picked the Dew back up but after a month or so I brought Juan Valdez back into my life.
I have pondered the why a lot lately. Why do I eat like I do not know where my next meal is coming from? Why do I need more than a half a gallon of coffee a day? I am not sure of those answers, I did determine that I think it is getting worse. I pondered that as well. Maybe I do not know where my next meal is coming from, not the very next one but with the economy the way it is…………. So I ponder that and looked back our evolutionary arc. Back when Homo ergaster was roaming the eastern and southern parts of Africa back in the early Pleistocene he would pack on the weight when the times were right. Food was short and they, along with all the other quadrupeds migrated around to where and when food was available. Maybe an evolutionary protection and survival gene has kicked in to insure that I persevere, again I thought – NOT MY FAULT.
I have wondered about that and many other explanations for the way I am. It could have something to do with the MONSTROUS portion sizes that we have all been lead to believe are normal. We used to need a lot of calories when we were an agrarian society, we were not sitting our overgrown asses in office chairs, we were working the land for the food we were eating – and that work is NOT easy. It is not just the fast food joints, most everywhere you go to eat serve you WAY more food than is needed, supersize it please. That goes back to the marketing that we are bombarded with, if we buy in we are doomed. Even a healthy choice frozen meal is more food than we need.
It is not easy to find all the answers but I am still looking for them. Without the answers to the why, it makes it hard (at least for me) to understand my own egregious actions and if I cannot understand why, how can I commit to the why not. Not sure what the answer for me here is but I know I want to ponder it a bit more. I am in no way perfect and I am not any delusion that I will be able to fix all these problems I have with food and drink but if I can train myself to look closely at it each time hopefully I can at least make a conscience effort to control it – that is really what I am hoping for. I hope anyone who is working on this with me is getting as much as I am from it.
Well since I started examining myself I have found a few things that I need to improve upon. Eating is the main one, I love to eat and I eat fast. I think that is a leftover from my days in the Navy, not sure but I think. Both are bad, eating to dullness, stuffing too much crap in my pie hole. Eating fast can not be good for the digestive system either. I have found that it is not even that I am eating bad things, I just eat too much of it, whether it be a salad or a steak or ba-skeddi – I did not even realize that eating to dullness was one of my hobbies. Not until I started looking at it. I suspect that is why I am overweight.
I did see a commercial that other day that told me that being overweight and having extra weight in certain areas was not my fault at all. It has to do with the stress at work and the fact that I am older now and my slow metabolism – what a bonus I thought, my fat ass has nothing to do with my obvious lack of self-control at all and is somehow not at all my fault or caused in anyway by my shoveling food into my face like someone who knew not where there next meal was coming from – shameful!
So Bride and I have decided to change some things in our lives, not a diet per say but a change in lifestyle. There are a number of things we are implementing into our lives and a number of things that we are looking at removing. I think more than anything it boils down to portion control and moving my chubby ass around more. The more movement the more food one needs, the less movement the less food we need. It all sounds so easy but I know it is not.
A couple of years ago I decided I would change my eating habits, I ended up losing about 52 pounds. It took almost a year but little by little the weight dropped off. I was astounded at the ease at which the plan was working, it was not hard. I knew though that when I hit my target weight it would be harder to transition from losing to maintaining. Then on October 24 of 2009 my Dad passed, for reasons I can not really get my head around I completely abandoned my new way of eating. I have pondered that for some time but I stopped eating from the outside edges of the grocery store and packed the weight back on, I was stunned, amazed and ashamed all at the same time. No idea why my Dad’s death would manifest itself in my abandonment of my new eating habits, I had been doing it for a year.
So I am going back to a better way of eating, less of everything. I do not plan to cut anything out per say but just reduce the intake. I will I think slow the intake of beef in the process but the reasons for that have nothing to do with losing weight. Bride picked up come cookbooks that are geared towards a diabetic because that is a very good way to eat, regardless of whether one is diabetic or not. I am looking forward to seeing some of the master pieces she will be creating. I am also going to continue to watch my intake, I know I am not going to be perfect but if I slow down long enough to just look at myself and what I am doing I know that will help he curb the intake. I usually eat so fast that I never pay attention to volume.
I really never even noticed it before I started looking at Temperance, it really amazed me to start analyzing my behavior. I have not really been pleased with what I am finding out about myself but as they say, problem recognition is the first step to problem resolution.
The other part of temperance is not drinking to elevation. I do not drink so I decided to look at the coffee intake. I drink a cup from Gate every morning, and most days I go get a second cup before 10am and then most days Bride and I go to the park on the river with another coffee to watch the sun go down. Doesn’t seem to bad right, well considering that each cup is 24 ounces, or 72 ounces total for the day. That is over a half a gallon of coffee a day – holy shit that is a lot of coffee and of course in that coffee has Irish Cream flavoring. Now that stuff has 35 calories per tablespoon, and get this – I just measured it out and I put 8 of those bad boys in each cup. There is a little pattern on the inside bottom of the cup so I filled the cup to that mark with cream then filled the rest with coffee. That is 840 calories a day in coffee cream for petes sake, I have run off the rails on that.
So the other day Bride had some scoping work done and we met with the doctor a few days later to go over the results. He indicated the stomach lining was problematic and asked, do you drink caffeinated coffee, yes was the answer. He said that has to stop, coffee was OK - but she was to stop the caffeine part. So Bride is obviously not happy about that. A bit of research quickly told me that caffeine is not good for the lining of any stomach. That has lead me to, in an act of solidarity, stop drinking coffee for a while. If I do have some it will be decaffeinated. I am somewhat scared, tomorrow is my first day. The last time I stopped drinking coffee was when I stopped smoking. It, along with Mt. Dew were triggers and I never have picked the Dew back up but after a month or so I brought Juan Valdez back into my life.
I have pondered the why a lot lately. Why do I eat like I do not know where my next meal is coming from? Why do I need more than a half a gallon of coffee a day? I am not sure of those answers, I did determine that I think it is getting worse. I pondered that as well. Maybe I do not know where my next meal is coming from, not the very next one but with the economy the way it is…………. So I ponder that and looked back our evolutionary arc. Back when Homo ergaster was roaming the eastern and southern parts of Africa back in the early Pleistocene he would pack on the weight when the times were right. Food was short and they, along with all the other quadrupeds migrated around to where and when food was available. Maybe an evolutionary protection and survival gene has kicked in to insure that I persevere, again I thought – NOT MY FAULT.
I have wondered about that and many other explanations for the way I am. It could have something to do with the MONSTROUS portion sizes that we have all been lead to believe are normal. We used to need a lot of calories when we were an agrarian society, we were not sitting our overgrown asses in office chairs, we were working the land for the food we were eating – and that work is NOT easy. It is not just the fast food joints, most everywhere you go to eat serve you WAY more food than is needed, supersize it please. That goes back to the marketing that we are bombarded with, if we buy in we are doomed. Even a healthy choice frozen meal is more food than we need.
It is not easy to find all the answers but I am still looking for them. Without the answers to the why, it makes it hard (at least for me) to understand my own egregious actions and if I cannot understand why, how can I commit to the why not. Not sure what the answer for me here is but I know I want to ponder it a bit more. I am in no way perfect and I am not any delusion that I will be able to fix all these problems I have with food and drink but if I can train myself to look closely at it each time hopefully I can at least make a conscience effort to control it – that is really what I am hoping for. I hope anyone who is working on this with me is getting as much as I am from it.
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