Day one of vacation – travel day

So leading up to our vacation there were many preparations that needed to be taken care, who is watching the dog, who will water the plants, do we have enough pairs of shorts and do we have enough of the Ocean Spray sugar free Cran-Pomegranate? Yeah, evidently they do not sell it is Texas so we are toting enough of this powered substance to make over 100 quarts of this stuff. God only knows what they are going to do with it. We had completed all the necessary work and lined up our Niece to handle the bulk of the household chores. So the day of our departure had arrived, at 4:15am no less. Neither of us slept very well the night before, Bride with the excitement of seeing her family and her anxiety about flying and her worry that we forgot to pack something – that all combined kept Bride from getting to sleep until after 3am. And everyone knows, when Bride ain’t sleeping, husband ain’t sleeping either. Not that she was intentionally trying to keep me awake but her up and down did not help me sleep very well either. As we were getting ready she offered a blanket apology for the day, she said I did not sleep, I am excited and I do not like to fly so I am telling you now, “I am sorry for the bitch I am going to be today”. All I could do was smile and know that she would need pampered all day and she would get passed all that.

So we are all ready and Niece gets up, showers and is ready to go, we pile into the van and she wants to drive so she can remember how to get back to the airport when she picks us up. She did not do bad and handled a tricky pull in curbside at the airport so I was impressed. I was laughing inside because I thought it was funny to see a 23 year old without kids driving a minivan, I stopped when I realized – I am a 45 year old man without kids and I drive a minivan as well, anyway I let that go. By the time we arrived at the airport I could not remember if I had let our dog back in, he requires two trips in the morning but I was about 80% sure I did not let him back in. Knowing that Bride would kill me if she knew, I ran around the van when we got out to hug Niece and thank her and tell her she needed to stop by the house because I was pretty sure that I left Newton outside, I also asked her not to tell Bride. I called after we made it through security and asked, I had indeed let him in and at that point I felt I safe to let Bride know that I thought I had left him out but indeed did not – that could have been ugly and I thought my Niece would have perpetual leverage against me holding that knowledge. It was not to be this time my Padawan learner.

So we are at the airport and we check-in curbside, I love that you can do that and always tip the folks who work there well, that has to be a thankless job. Bill was nice and we talked about charging for bags and the price of tickets anymore and how SouthWest and Airtran are the reason that ticket prices across the board have remained low. He indicated that he would not be able to change our seating arrangements, we wanted to be on the side with only 2 seats, it was not to be. As we walk into the airport I notice, as always, folks seem to be in HUGE hurry. I have never understood that, if you know what time your plane leaves, just get your butt there ahead if time. Of all the places that you do not want to be stressed, it is the airport. There are computerized camera systems that can track your facial expressions and make assessments based on that. You think you were stressed before, 5 big men with green teeth and TSA uniforms jump out of the wood work and take you to the body cavity search area – that will peg the stress meter so hard a whole bottle of Zanex will not even put a dent in your anxiety. So in the cattle trough that is the screening area I see a lady who fits this bill, she is sweating, asking folks if she can cut and all the while she is dragging her poor son through all this, he appeared to be 6 or 7 and looked even more confused, tired and pissed off than she did. I was glad we left ourselves plenty of time!

So we get to gate C9 with the rest of the cattle, we are all sitting around, some patiently, some not so much. All waiting for the folks on the loudspeakers to call our section, all secretly wishing we needed special assistance or were able to purchase first class tickets. Why is it that they get to go first anyway, let me meek lead the mighty I say! Anyway we were assigned group 6, whatever that meant. It was seat 26E and 26F and while listening and watching I tried without success to determine the method they were using to board the plane. I did finally determine that before these folks had their coffee the drew straws and flipped tarot card to determine the method. There is no meaning to that madness, not that I could figure out anyway. So by this time Bride’s anxiety is sky high, and she takes “mothers little helper” that the doctor prescribed for her, her perspective on the world got a little more balanced and in turn so did mine. By the time they called group 6 she was sufficiently mellow and I was able to retune my ears to eliminate the frequency of screaming banshee child 4 people behind us – life was good. We board and make our way back to row 26, bumping into people who have their elbows sticking out and waiting for knuckleheads who are trying to stick a humongous piece of luggage into the overhead bin. We finally make it to our seat and 26D gets up and let us in, he has an odd little smile.

Once situated in our seats I noticed smiley, in 26D, had some kind of obsession with his watch. No matter I thought and I quickly drifted off to sleep, I awoke a couple of times to see Bride sleeping and to straighten my neck. I always wind up with a sore neck because when I sleep my head falls over on my shoulder. Bride slept with her head straight up, never faltered more than 1.2 degrees no matter how steep a bank the plane was in. We woke up about 30 minutes outside of Dallas, we were both refreshed. We started talking about our visit and how great it was going to be to see everyone. This is when I again noticed smiley’s obsession with his watch. He would look at his watch about every 105-125 seconds, he would twist the band a bit to the right, then over compensate to the left and then he would shift it back to the starting position. While he was doing this he would be staring at the face of that old silver analog dial like he was attempting to calculate the passage of time down to the femto-second (one millionth of one billionth of a second). He was now making me nervous, why was time so important to him? Was it just a compulsive obsessive issue or was he late, late for a very important date. I do not know, nor did I find out and I suspect I never will.

Upon arrival in Dallas I realized this is the first time I have ever been in this airport, not much different than any other really. On our way through the concourse I noticed a guy on a bicycle, he was a officer of the law and he was able to ride very slow through the crowd, I was impressed with his ability. I noticed he was in excellent shape, cyclist legs, very thin and muscular. Just as I was thinking about how hard it would be to ride a bike through the airport I spot another office of the law, this one on a modified segue, those two wheel self balancing contraptions you see occasionally. I say modified because this one had three wheel and the guy was old, fat and looked completely out of shape. He looked winded just riding this battery powered pony. I remember thinking some sergeant someplace needed to rethink the assignments, fat boy gets the bike and the skinny guy gets the segue, that is what I was thinking – sorry. We stopped and got coffees and made our way to baggage claim to get our bag. It was sitting there waiting for us when we arrived, someone had taken it and 6 others off the carousel and placed them on the floor, lucky us. We grab the bag and out to the curb we go, both secretly betting if Bride’s brother would be on time. He was a few minutes late, construction traffic was to blame.

We made it to the Great state, that is Texas for you uninitiated.

Sorry, could not help it - another political one

Rick Scott and Bill McCollum – really? That is the best Florida has to offer?


Well, if you live in Florida you have seen some targeted ads from one or both of these two, unless you live in the aquifer and can’t receive television, radio and get no service on you 4g gadget. Rick Scott, the fabulously rich Republican contender, has a catchy slogan, let’s get to work. Bill McCollum, the only amazingly rich Republican contender has real solutions, a roadmap for Florida if you will and in this case he will. When I looked there are 23 candidates running for the position of Gov in Florida. My favorite is John Wayne Smith, he is a Libertarian candidate. And with a name like John Wayne how could he be bad and when you throw in Smith at the end he must be perfect. He is an awning installer and Army Veteran, thank you for your service to our country John Wayne Smith.

So back to the two big rich dogs in this fight, I use dogs here both literally and metaphorically. I am not sure how much money is being spent on television ads but those two are everywhere and you know what, I still don’t know a damn thing about how they plan to make Florida better. I know that the company Rick Scott ran was fined by the Government for Medicare fraud and that Bill McCollum using the state plane a lot. While I can muster quite a bit of righteous indignation about both of those things in my economically depressed person economy I really do not give a shit. Big CEO’s and politicians are going to take advantage of the system, they always have and always will so I can let their idiocy go. It is in their nature, just like you can’t stop a bear from crapping in the woods, it is what they do so there is no reason to get hung up on it. When will they focus on developing a plan, telling us what they are going to do for us, instead of name calling at the other dumbass in the race.

I hear each of them talking in nebulous terms about how they are going to create jobs and end pet spending projects and control our borders and not lie to us any more but ya know what, been there, done that and have that tee shirt. We need to realize that these “cream of the croppers” are not going to follow through on their campaign hyperbole. Think about it, when was the last time someone was able to follow through with the bullshit that they had to promise to get enough votes to get into office? The ones running are not running because they care about us, nope they are in for themselves, they have to be or we would not hear things like, we put this forward because we knew it was what could get passed. Not one mention about what is right, or just or best for us, what we could get passed – that my friends as apathy at a level that in not even understandable to me. And we allow this dirt-bags to get away with it, shameful. I am considering starting a new party, the name, the Anti-Incumbent party.

This would be different than the crop of folks running now who are saying “let’s get rid of the career politicians” or “experience you can trust” or “a proven track record” PLEASE. Any dunderhead who thinks anyone in office is representing us more than they are looking out for themselves is diluted. Sorry I usually try not to be so insistent but if you think Charlie Christ or Bill McCollum or Marco Rubio or President Obama or anyone of the other gaggle of elected officials give a crap about you I do not feel that I even want to know you anymore. I mean when was the last time any level of government solved a problem. Crime rate in Jax, cut 10 million from the cops budget, not going to help. Spend a ton of truckloads of money to get people back to work, census workers inflated the number and then kaput. Governor Christ doubling the homestead exemption and then cutting funding to the city, who in turn started charging any number of new fees. Nothing is being fixed, blame is being spread and responsibility shifted and still NOTHING is fixed and spending is never cut. I am nearly convinced that is all a great big game, and that the game is rigged and that game is being played on the backs of common working folks and I for one am tired of the cleats digging into my back.

It is all a crap shoot, the odds of us being able to pick that right one are no better than 195,249,054 to 1, the same odds of you winning the power ball lotto. I hate to say it but I just want all these knuckleheads off my television, them and the endless line of BS they are spraying at us! And by the way Rick Scott, you do need a name tag like your commercial says, you and Bill both need one, it should just say, I am going to end up screwing you in the end so you might as well get ready now, here’s a kiss.

John Wayne Smith, you got my vote, the odds are just as good that you can get something done as the others, and I like that you install awnings, some actual work – good for you!

My Sister, who is a county auditor in Ohio is exempt from any criticism, I believe her to be the ONLY good one out there.

Shoelaces and aglets – what in the world is going on there?

So there I was the other day with a shoelace that was coming apart. I was somewhat disappointed because these shoes were only five years old. 5 years and the laces give out, what kind of shoe is that, they were obviously using substandard laces. I cannot ever remember buying and replacing shoe laces, I am sure I must have done it at some point in my life but for the life of me I cannot remember when. I spoke to other folks who felt the same way. Others said you must buy good shoes that they outlast the laces. I got to thinking and this pair of shoes in over 5 years old, is that a long time to have a pair of shoes? I have a pair of boots I bought when Bride and I were just dating, 20 some years ago and those have the original laces in them as well with little to no wear on them. I guess I am unsure of any trends in this area, how long do the laces last, how long do shoes last, what is the average tension that laces are pulled to? All good questions but I am digressing a bit.

Probably more information than is needed for this oratory but there it is anyway. So I asked some coworkers about it and they tell me they are everywhere, Walmart, Walgreens, CVS, Publix and Winn Dixie. Anywhere you can buy a can of shoe polish, AH I thought I know about that as my shoes are leather and require regular maintenance and regular polishing. So they tell me they are sold in a couple of ways, in length, in inches or millimeters or by the number of holes in the shoe, for example mine have 4 holes on left side of the tongue and four holes in the right side of the tongue. So on my way home I stopped at Walgreens and went to where the shoe polish is sold and low and behold, there were the shoe laces. There were all manner of laces, some sold by the number of holes and some by length. There were inexpensive thin ones and then there were some a little thicker. The thick ones I suspect had a cord center with a woven outer sheath, like the ones that I was replacing.

Since I had taken one out and measured before arriving at the store I felt I was ready, no joy on that. My laces were measured at 33.375 inches and to my dismay, there were no replacements that measured 33.375 inches for sale on this rack. There were, however, some that measured in at 36 inches even and since I had always felt the laces were a touch short I grabbed a pair of 36 inch black ones and a pair of 36 inch brown ones and started for the counter. Perfect I thought, then a thought why not go get two pairs of each, that way I have standby pairs ready in the event of some weird unforeseen lace catastrophe, it could happen. I did not have an expectation that these replacements would last as long as the originals, replacement things rarely do, so I grabbed a primary and backup pair in each color and off I went. The moment I got home I re-laced both pairs of shoes and placed the spares in the shoe shine kit. As I was doing that, I realized the ridiculousness of buying a spare pair. If in the 45 years I have been bumbling through life I have never bought a replacement pair that I can remember why in the world would I buy a second spare pair? That is just my nature and I will most likely expound on that in another oratory.

New, slightly longer, laces installed and looking and feeling right I was happy. While I was looking at them I remembered a shoelace incident in boot camp that made me laugh. I had laced my Boon Dockers (that is what they called our boots) with that first lace draped over the eyelets and our drill instructor read me the riot act, the Navy does not go over bridges, we go under. I had to re-lace them, and many others quickly followed suite. That got me to wondering about shoe laces in general. Where did they comes from, who invented them, what are they made of and what are those little plastic things on the ends, all good question I remember thinking.

I found that the shoelace was invented in 1790 by Harvey Kennedy. I hear tell that there are some sources who say this is erroneous and the true inventor is unknown. It is, I found, a fact that prior to 1790, there were no shoelaces and after 1790, Harvey Kennedy made nearly two and-a-half million dollars (nearly a fifty billion dollars in today’s money) from the patent on his simple leather strands. Two and half million dollars - in 1790 dollars, on shoelaces – whodathunkit? Those first shoelaces were difficult at best to use though, they were simply a strand and had to be forced through the eyeholes of the shoe. That is until another unknown came up with the aglet, the little piece of plastic on each end of a shoelace. They were first introduced in 1791 and the first ones were of stone, or tin. If you were of the upper crust your aglets may have been silver or gold. It was not until the turn of the 20th century that plastic aglets were popularized, the world never walked the same again. As far as aglets go, they were functional, period. Now if you had aiguillettes they were of course more decorative then functional.

In the course of my investigation on shoelaces I also found there are literally countless way to tie a knot in them. From Bow knots to reef knots to granny knots they are all acceptable in tying shoe laces, here I thought everyone tied them the same way. Another thing I found was there are even more ways to lace them up – who knew? Me, I am under on the first one and then right over left all the way up so they are nice and symmetrical. Something as simple as lacing and tying ones shoes, whodathunkit it could be so complicated? Well if you need new laces, you can go and buy them, or replace the shoes, or we could revolt and stop wearing them altogether. If you must tie em up, just don’t make them too tight!

Do you have a favorite place in the world?

The other day I was talking with a good friend of mine, his Momma just went into Hospice care and they had stopped at his favorite place in the world on their way. We started talking about favorite places and he asked me what my favorite place in the world was. I was not prepared with an answer, I truthfully have never thought about pinpointing a favorite place in the world. In the context of our conversation it seemed odd to me that I did not have one, I have been all over the world when I served in the United States Navy. I stood there for a few moments thinking about it and could come up with nothing.

His favorite place in the world is Pope’s Landing and Marina in Danvers Massachusetts. I have heard stories about Pope’ Landing for years so I knew it was an important place for him. He spent some of his youth working there for a man named Iggy Gagnon (I think that was his last name), who was the Harbor Master. I heard great stories of the mentor that Iggy was and I heard horrific stories of finding a dead body while diving down to a car that went down the boat ramp and sank. He told of working with Iggy to get a dock built that was questionably based on the set of prints used and his first time driving the Harbor Master’s boat. We looked on the internet at the place that morning and he showed me his favorite place. He even showed me the bench where his brother had taken his Momma that morning. I know that one day he will be able to go and sit at that bench and smile, remembering his youth, his mentor and his Momma.

So, we talked more about favorite places and he asked me again, so what is your favorite place. I stammered through my memory and found nothing that I considered my favorite place in the world. I thought about gazing up at the Sistine Chapel ceiling, I thought about chasing girls in Rio de Janeiro, I thought about a picnic table in Kiser Lake state park, I thought about wandering around the Great Pyramids, and I thought about the spot Bride and I go in the evening to watch the sunset. Nothing was popping out as my favorite place in the world. I told him I would ponder on it a while and let him know the next day. That evening I thought about it some more and still nothing. I remembered being on the beaches of Barbados, wishing I could smoke dope with the locals in Jamaica and snorkeling in Puerto Rico. I thought about all the cool places that my life has taken me and still could not pick a favorite.

That got me to thinking about the ones I went back to more often than others. I remembered lots of places but still I did not look at them as favorites, only that my life had carried me back to a place that I liked and in some cases loved. So, what makes a favorite place in the world? I then actually started looking at exactly what favorite meant and came up with, 1) a person or thing regarded with special favor or preference, 2) a competitor considered likely to win. 3) a person or thing popular with the public and 4) a person treated with special or undue favor by a king, official, etc. So I realized definition #1 and 3 are what I am thinking about. Don’t get me wrong, I am not without favorites. Vanilla ice-cream – favorite, Strip steaks – favorite, peanuts – favorite, but the words most favorite in the world add a new dimension to the decision making process.

So that got me to pondering some places that I really liked and there was one constant that ran through them all. It was not clear at first but after some pondering it popped right out as clear as day. I was having trouble picking a favorite spot in the world because the one thing that does not change is the fact that impermanence rules everything , the constant is change itself. Each time I visit a place, it is a new experience, things have changed since my last visit. It may be fall now instead of spring or there may be an event going on where more people are present or that it is morning now instead of the evening. There could be a breeze one time with no bugs and the next time no breeze and lots of bugs or any other number of factors – nothing in life is EVER the same when we see it next, at least not for me. We have to take the time to examine our surroundings, to notice that things are different.

So knowing that, a place may have been my favorite while I was there but the moment I left, it could no longer be my favorite. That got me to pondering the question from a bigger perspective and I realized that maybe I was mistaken in my initial determination that I do not have a favorite place in the world. I realized that my favorite place in the world is where ever I happen to be when the question is asked. Like right now my favorite place is right here, pecking on the keyboard talking about my favorite place. As I sit I can look to my right and see Bride watching the TV, I can see the animals doing what they are always doing and I can see outside, the greenery and the pool.

I think we spend too much of our lives looking to the past and wondering what could have been and too much time looking at the future wondering what it will be and we miss the right here and the right now. This, the right now, to me, is the only moment that matters, what we do and feel right now is the thing we truly have control over. The past is history, we can not go back and change it, all we can do is reminisce about it. The future, well we have to plan but it is really more up to sheer dumb luck and cosmic coincidence than anything to do with plans that we may think we are making. Why is that, why are we so rushed through our days that we miss the here and now. Sometimes I used to miss it because the experience is not always pleasant, to sit in mourning for the loss of a parent sucks, I have done that twice and it sucks. So maybe we try to get on past it by remembering the past and planning for the future. Who knows??

For me my favorite place is where ever I am when you ask me. Yesterday on my way home from work my favorite place the corner of Jim Tom and University club, that is where I jumped out of the car and ran over and picked a flower for the Bride. When I got home, my favorite place was watching Brides face when I gave her the flower, and the treat from Dairy Queen. Last week when I was crawled under the jalopy grumbling about how greasy things were, you got it, my favorite place. When I am sitting on the beach watching the sunrise, yep favorite place to be. When I get to cuddle with bride and read aloud, another favorite place. When I was attending my Dad’s funeral, still it was my favorite place. I think whatever you are doing or where ever you are, that should be your favorite place. Enjoy the moments that we get along the ride, where we have been and where will are going is most assuredly taking care of itself. Slow down, get out of your car and smell, then pick that flower and give it to someone special to you and savor the look on their face, it will be your favorite place.

I do not even know his first name

I was listening to a commercial on the radio today talking about heroes and it got me to pondering and scanning through my own life looking for my heroes. I scanned back to 1977 and found a man I used to deliver the newspaper to, his name, as I knew it, was Coonie Urschel. He was a mean SOB, never a nice word from this guy and by no means a tip at Christmas time or a thank you when the snow was deep. I really did not like this customer, I was forbidden to walk on his grass, “up the drive, turn right on the sidewalk and deliver the paper in that yellow box under the mail box and then reverse the course”. Those were his exact words, I heard them over and over again, mainly because I seemed unable to comply. That open defiance of authority evidently started early for me. I walked on his yard in defiance, I placed his paper in the mailbox in defiance and when he made me really mad I threw his paper inside the screen door in a way that all the sections came apart. Yes, I was a hellion but he was a mean and nasty old man. As I look back, I would guess him to have been about 50-55 at the time but to a 12 year old, he was just an old man, who was mean.

So why would he be a hero to me you might be asking. Well the event that changed my life happened one day and I bet he never knew he had an impact at all. He would never have guessed that 34 years later I would be writing about him and the positive impact he had on my life. He probably did not even know then that he had a huge impact on my life. Now I have to credit my ability to do anything to my Mom, she told me that as long as I worked hard and gave 100% I could do anything in life. Well without that mean assed Coonie Urschel I may not have developed the unshakable confidence I have in myself and my absolute surety in who I am as a person. Wow, all that from some mean old man I delivered the paper to, yep! At that time, my Mom had recently remarried and we moved away from where we grew up and I was having some adjustment issues. I was shy, not confident and always walked around with my head hanging, looking at my feet. I was a troubled yute, as said by Fred Gwynne playing the judge in My Cousin Vinny. So how in world did it happen? Well what he did might land him in jail today but back then things were different and I never told a soul about it.

So there I was one day, walking through the snow delivering the 115 papers I had to pass out every day and without even seeing him I bumped into him, literally. Well he grabbed my face, hard enough to leave marks and jerked it up. He held my face very close to his, within an inch or two and I could smell the liquor on his breath. He then proceeded to explain to me that I had nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed of and that I should not walk around staring at my feet. I was to walk around with my head held high, no matter what was going on or where I happened to find myself, it was an order. I was not to look at my shoes, other than to ensure they were tied. He was almost screaming this at me while he had a vice grip on my face, holding it right up to his. I was so scared I was frozen into immobility and was unable to even say anything to him. I do not remember everything he said but those words made an impact, he got through to a scared kid who was trying to figure out his new life with a Step-Dad now in the picture.

Well you can imagine the impact of that conversation, I remember once he let go of me running away crying. I had to deliver the rest of the papers though so I continued my route, trying not to be crying when people saw me or came out to get their paper. Over the next hour and half I started contemplating what he had said to me. He was right and many things changed in my life, it was the last time I walked around staring at my feet for sure. It was also when I realized that quiet contemplation is a key component of making it through the days of our life. That is when I started what I call meditating, what I do does not really fit into a category of meditation but that is what it is to me. Another thing I learned from him, just because what I am doing does not fit into an accepted mold does not mean that it is wrong or does not work. Even at that young age, I contemplated the words from that mean old man for hours, days and even months, he had made an impact!

I remember thinking to myself that he does not understand my situation, new head of the house, new city to live in, new rules, new school, new this and new that. I had a lot going on in my young life and who in the hell was he to talk to me like that. Well looking back he got it, he was right and I did not get it, at least not immediately. What I learned is that there is always crap in our lives, how we react to it is the important thing. We could let it beat us down or, like I learned, recognize that our lives are full of hardships, trials and tribulations and the thing we must know is that the effects of that can not be allowed to change who we are at our core. No matter the adversity, I have faced it with my head up, not looking at my shoes. Another advantage of keeping your head up is that you can see what is in front of you, literally and figuratively. Literally so you do not bump into things, such as a mean old man and figuratively you can see the what lies ahead of you, your boundless future. Sometimes I think he would be amazed at where I have come to in my life with his inspiration and sometimes I wonder if he was just pissed that I literally ran into him and he was bitching at me for it. It matters little to me now because whichever reason he decided to grab my face and tell me about it the impact was immediate and long lasting.

There have been a lot of folks who have had an impact on my life in one way or another but old Coonie Urschel made a BIG splash and he is one of my heroes for doing it!

The Damn oil spill and the Great Speechifier!!

Sorry I have 2 in a row on the same topic, but I had to get it out of me.

After seeing a post from a friend on Face Book I realized he had a GREAT point - Where are all the “save the gulf” benefit concerts? Where are the celebrities and musicians waxing poetic about this tragedy? Where are the heart felt speeches from the politico’s? I sit, with my friend, in stunning amazement and wonder why? Why would I be surprised by a selective response to this disaster from the famous and powerful. If it is not a pet cause or if it does not provide them with some quantifiable advantage or gain there is usually little said or done. Here is a perfect example of our apathy, and yes I say our apathy. Why us, because we have allowed that behavior to become the norm, acceptable behavior instead of standing up and calling bullshit. I have used that term before and I am POSITIVE that you have heard it before, he’s a bull shitter, that is bullshit and I am going to call bull shit on that, whether you admit it or not I know you have heard it. I have started to examine what, exactly, those terms means and have been quite surprised by my results.

According to Wiki Bullshit is (also bullcrap, bullplop, bullbutter, horseshit, bovine stool) is a common American English expletive which may be shortened to the euphemism bull or the initialism B.S. Wiki goes on to say, As with many expletives, it can be used as an interjection or as many other parts of, and can carry a wide variety of meanings. Most commonly, it is used in connection with incorrect, misleading, or false language and statements. While the word is generally used in a deprecating sense, it may imply a measure of respect for language skills, or frivolity, among various other benign usages. Hummmmm. Anyone who has researched bull shit knows that field received a tremendous boost from the pioneering work of Harry G. Frankfurt, his seminal theses did however open up more questions than they answered. Harry’s essay, “On Bullshit” is an in-depth examination, at the philosophical level, of bullshit and bull shitter’s and the seemingly more bold faced liars and which is more detrimental to our world.

Now there is a follow-up to that 1980’s treatise, it is “Bullshit and Philosophy” and I am reading it right now. In this follow up some of the most highly trained intellects of our time critique old Harry and take the discourse beyond anything he could imagine. Bullshit and Philosophy has new contributions to the conversation that were previously left not there. I did pull one definition of Bullshit that I thought perfect for making my point about this environmental disaster. “Bullshit is commonly used to describe statements made by people more concerned with the response of the audience than in truth and accuracy, such as goal-oriented statements made in the field of politics or advertising”. There are several key points I find in that. Statements made by folks more concerned with the response of the audience than in truth and accuracy. I think I might prefer to be bold faced lied to than sold a freakin song and dance, I have more respect for a liar because he at least cares about the truth – cares that we do not find it. A Bullshitter does not care about the truth at all, they just sling whatever….. Bullshit they need to in order to advance their cause or issue. And, as the definition indicates, goal oriented statements that are being advertised to us. We are being treated like automatons by the powers to be, we are expected to buy into the line of bullshit we are being feed, just as we are to believe if we do not buy a particular toothpaste our teeth will fall out.

I am fascinated by bullshit, not just because I enjoy picking out the bullshitter amongst us but when you start to analyze bullshit at a philosophical level the conversation sparks a great interest for me. So, back to the oil spill, in my opinion bullshitters seek to convey a certain impression of themselves without being concerned about whether anything at all is true. Does that seem the least bit clear in recent times, say the last since April 22nd? I have heard nothing but bullshit from everyone trying to protect the hole, from BP, from the government, from the pundits, who think they know anything at all. It has been a continuous line of BS, they obviously are doing damage control, to protect themselves and their interests and I do not believe any of it has been true. Not the estimated number of barrels to the fact they told us the leak could not be stopped when they meant to say, we cant stop the leak with out loosing our investment in the hole. Over time the rules governing their end of the conversation have quietly been changing so that claims about truth and falsity are minimized to the point of irrelevancy.

Bullshit does not necessarily have to be a complete fabrication all the time, with only basic knowledge about a topic, bullshit is often used to make the audience believe that they know far more about the topic by feigning total certainty or making probable predictions. It is all filler, fodder and nonsense that is being spoon fed to us, waiting and hungry for a tidbit. I believe no matter how well the relevancies are explained or however relevant they may appear, they are still without data and intelligence and that kind of dialog is the quintessential definition of the verb "to bullshit”. They are all (my opinion) feigning concern and conviction that just through simple observation are bullshit on so many levels, this is what I like to call the industrial strength, commercial grade bullshit. It never ceased to amaze me the words coming out of the mouths of BP, the government and most talking heads, why are not many more of us calling BULLSHIT on them? I did read a funny little story on the onion that was pretty funny in one way and scary as hell in another way, here is a link to that story - http://www.theonion.com/articles/massive-flow-of-bullshit-continues-to-gush-from-bp,17564/

So that leads me to another question, why do we allow bull shitters to live among us? Why do we allow and in most cases condone the behavior? I at one time considered myself a master bull shitter but I really do not want that title anymore. I try to live my life being honest above all else, mainly because I am not smart enough to remember lies. I do not want to be lumped into the group of people who are perpetrating, what is see, as the LARGEST scam in the name of the black nectar we all need to survive. The only person I have heard on television mention our involvement in this catastrophe was Jimmy Buffet. I can not remember his exact words but he admitted we are all over consumers of the black gold and BP is out there because of our wants. I later learned he has a hotel he just opened on Pensacola Beach so his being out there with my dipshit governor (my opinion) telling folks to come on down and enjoy the beaches may have been motivated by other interests. Could my man Jimmy be a bull shitter, God I pray not and I will not investigate any further on him, I have to give him the benefit of the doubt on it.

So almost 2 months in we are starting to get the huge outswell of support for the area by way of our President, this calamity is going to wind up being more devastating than Katrina, the earthquake in Haiti and any of the other natural disasters of recent memory. The only difference, this was caused by someone other than Mother Nature, who is exempt from prosecution. There is and are folks who are responsible and I am told they will be held to task, I hope and pray they are held accountable for the GROSS NEGLIGENCE. Meanwhile we need to do something to support the folks whose livelihood has been completely stopped. And I mean now, not when BP or the Government get around to paying out, I mean NOW! Call your state representatives now and raise hell, be a bull shitter if you must to force the mechanisms of big business and Government into action to help the folks that are hurting right now. Here is a link to all their phone numbers and email addresses http://conservativeusa.org/mega-cong.htm

Will our Presidents righteous indignation and best effort, 2 months late or not, make a difference, I hope and pray he can make that difference but I fear he too may just be a master bullshitter.

Boycott BP – yeah, like that will help? The Government is in control – yeah right why it is all bullshit and who is REALLY to blame!

Well, I can tell you right now that you and I are to blame, WHAT you might be saying but it is indeed you and I. We have found it very easy to blame British Petroleum and the Government and the folks who leased the rig that sank and the manufacturers of the broken blowout preventer and any other list of folks, EASY to blame them BUT………….. I ask that we back up a couple of steps first. What do you suppose they were doing out there in the first place? Why is there a company called BP? Why do we have an insatiable thirst for the black gold? Why, why and why. Well I am here to tell you why. It is because we want this and we want that and to manufacture this and that takes oil. I am not just talking about the obvious culprits such as gas and diesel, although transportation does takes the lions share, 66% of all oil goes to transportation of some kind. Another 25% goes to industry, to make things. The other 4%, 2% and 3% goes to residential, commercial and for electrical power generation. It is all about our hedonistic consumerism and that is why BP is out there – we want our goodies. We want the perfumes, the hand lotions and sanitizers, the bottled water and the Glade thingies that make the room smell good. We want the surgical gloves and the car tires, we want the synthetic fibers for clothes that breath and wick away moisture. We want it all AND these are the consequences of our self-indulgent ways and it has lead us to where we are now - an oil slick, literally the size of the gulf of Mexico.

Somehow, we can sit in righteous indignation that they have not stopped the leak, and there is enough of blame gaming everywhere ya look but never once have I heard a conversation about our addition to oil. In my opinion, it is short termed thinking by shortsighted people. We want that oil leak stopped but instead of filling that hole with cement to stop it we keep playing games with it, trying desperately to save the hole that provides the nectar that runs our country. It seems unfathomable to me that we are trying one thing at a time and waiting for it to fail before we pre-stage the plan B. If I were running that show I would have plan A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M and freaking N all moving at the same time. There would be no waiting ANOTHER week after another potential solution that failed magnificently before the next plan was in place, that would take minutes to go to the next plan. But NO we somehow are relying on BP and the Government to fix this, both of which have a HUGE vested interest in having that hole returned to usability. It would be akin to the turning over to the bullet manufacturers and the hunting license bureaus to stop hunting all together nationewide. They would be coming up with reason after reason and idea after idea to keep the hunters hunting while trying to bullshit rational people into believing they can not control the situation. They would have NO reason to stop and actual they would be de-incentivized to actually do so. You can begin to see how crazy this disaster is and how they are not really trying to stop the leak, they are trying to save the investment in the hole.

Who knows how many barrels of oil have spilled out, they do not have a clue and even amongst the “experts” they are only speculating. And really does it matter? It is REALLY bad and they need to get it under control now, whatever the costs – period. They should also be held accountable, to the families of the people who died and for all the people who lost their livelihood due to this disaster. They should reimburse municipalities for their loss and they should be reimburse the businesses that have been devastated by their GROSS negligence. One more thing that I do not care about is this, I do not care how much BP is paying to clean their mess up, I just don’t. I do not care today, I will not care tomorrow. It is their mess and if they go bankrupt cleaning up their mess so be it, oh wait a minute - are they going to be one of those companies that is too big to fail? Will the government bail them out, will they take them over? I hope the answer to both is NO. Why should they do either, well we are talking about oil so I would not be surprised to see it happen.



Is there really anyway to guarantee, 100% of the time, that the technology will never fail? I have been in the repair business for my whole life and there is one constant I have seen time and time again, without fail, is that everything will fail eventually. Let me say that again, EVERYTHING will fail eventually. There is absolutely no way that every single contingency can be covered, because there is no way to guarantee that the man made devices will work, every time all the time, it is a statistical impossibility - no damn way! So no matter how many contingency plans we build into any off shore drilling there will always be a chance of an accident, it is the whole risk versus reward thing and oil will win every time. The accident would not be on purpose, it would be an accident, but at that point it matters little, the freaking oil is gushing into our environment. The other down side of building in plans to cover all the known contingencies is that it will increase the costs of gas right along with the cost of all the things made with petroleum products and I do not know about you but I got no budge in my budget at all to cover those additional costs. You think we are pissed about the costs of gas now, imagine if each oil hole in the future has to have millions upon millions of dollars worth of equipment to prevent some litany of potential possible incidents. The oil companies are NOT going to eat that cost, we will - in the increased cost of the stuff we want to buy.

We can go on about they shoulda, they were supposed to and even the other folks were supposed to ensure this or that and it still matters little for the thousands of barrels of oil that have spewed into the Gulf of Mexico. We want our stuff and the government wants their stuff and the drillers want their stuff. We all want different things and we all have different reasons but it still boils down to everyone wanting stuff. Hell we even want our toothpaste to be sweet tasting so we add glycerin to get the taste – petroleum product. Our dependence on oil is INSANE. It dominates every part of our lives, every single part! Have we started car pooling more – NO, have we shifted to baking soda for cleaning our teeth – NO. We, as a society, have done NOTHING significant that would lead to removing our addiction to oil – NOTHING. What have we, as consumers, really done to cut our addition to oil, better yet what have you done, yeah – YOU? I am ashamed to admit that I myself have done little in this regard but this spill in the gulf has me evaluating and reevaluating the way I live my life and my actual impact on the world around me. Not in some superficial way, carbon footprints and the carbon trading seems to me a veiled attempt by an entire industry to scare us and make us feel bad about our usage of the earth’s resources. I am talking about meaningful change and that is hard for everyone.

We have to get control folks and I am not sure what that means anymore but I think it has to start with understanding what impact oil has on our lives and then we need to start looking at alternatives that require less dependence on any oil, let alone foreign oil. It will not be easy, our world revolves around being able to have everything we want, wherever we want it and whenever we want it. It will require personal sacrifice, not someone else but YOU and ME too. I don’t know what the answers are but doing nothing is no longer going to work for me. I do not know what the answer is, but boycotting BP is not it. That is, in my opinion, nothing but symbolism over substance and it will in the long run make NO difference, even if they go bankrupt some other oil company will buy them and the game will continue, boycotting is not the answer friends – controlling our appetites is what will bring an end to this craziness.